Post: #1

I was just reading OGs post and never actually realized some of you guys were gaming girls as a live in girlfriend. I thought that was game 101 to never let a girl move in.

Have you let a girl move in with you in the past? Has anything positive ever came from it?

Post: #2

Yes and no.. yes I have, and nothing good came of it (well, I did come away a little wiser, I guess).

Post: #3

I had a girlfriend for 7.5 years, living together for the last 2.5 years. I hadn't swallowed the red pill yet or discovered Game.
I thought I was happy and I guess I was for 7 of those years, last 6 months it broke down and we went out separate ways.

Post: #4

(11-01-2014 07:06 PM)Teddykgb Wrote:  I was just reading OGs post and never actually realized some of you guys were gaming girls as a live in girlfriend. I thought that was game 101 to never let a girl move in.

Have you let a girl move in with you in the past? Has anything positive ever came from it?

Plenty of players have girlfriends, live in pussy.

1) let a girl move in.

Yes.
Moved in with a girl? Yes
Got a place with a girl? Yes

2) anything positive?

Sure, a much greater understanding of women in general.

Do you mean a rock solid marriage and awesome family?

Haha

When you live with a chick, for extended periods of time, and sometimes with escalating commitment - sexual excitement gets traded for "domestic" bliss - Both end up fading after a while, until you get to the point where those things that used to make her cute, drive you up the wall. You'd rather stay at work than come home.

Usually when the guy gets to that point, the chick has been there for a while.

To quote the poets,







WIA

Post: #5

I've done it multiple times and have enjoyed it.

Most good things come to an end - that's just a fact of life (and Buddhism).

Don't (necessarily) let that dissuade you from enjoying worthwhile experiences.

Always be willing and able to walk away if shit goes south, and try not to knock her up in the honeymoon period. Living with someone for a short time doesn't obligate you to stick with her forever, though, especially in Western society (even in Southeast Asian societies now, I see young local couples live together for a time).

If anything, it's a chance to try each other before making even bigger decisions. Even if you'll never get married, living with a woman does have its advantages as long as you maintain the control and are willing to pull the plug as needed.

And maintain the independence to disappear for periods of time if you start feeling restless. You won't preserve your sanity without that type of freedom, so you make it clear from the beginning that it's just part of who you are, whether she resents it or not.

You'll need that to grab some space and sort yourself out from time to time. Worst thing most guys do is give up their ability to choose where they will be and when. She's not your damn mom. Of course, this should be 101 stuff for RVF guys, but still.

Having said all of the above, there's a lot to be said for completely maintaining your own space as well, even if it's a small studio, a stabbin' cabin, or just a shop with a futon. Living with a woman can be cool, but there's no more clear-cut way to hold on to your bachelorhood than to never fully cross that line. Women eventually see that and will wage war to close the gap - so be prepared to fight to protect it.

Beyond All Seas

"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe.
To be your own man is a hard business. If you try it, you'll be lonely often, and sometimes
frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." - Kipling

Post: #6

To add on, I kinda feel if you want to get to the next level in your game, you have to have lived with a girl.

WIA

Post: #7

Another pitfall that deserves mention...

It's one thing to cover the rent, but there are no free rides. If your chick isn't contributing financially, she damn well better be handling the cooking and cleaning.

Most pathetic thing I ever saw one of my brothers do is have a live-in without a job that refused to have a hot meal waiting for him when he came home from doing manual labor all day, "forcing" him to spend his hard-earned cash on takeout ever night.

Beyond All Seas

"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe.
To be your own man is a hard business. If you try it, you'll be lonely often, and sometimes
frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." - Kipling

Post: #8

Lived with my ex for ~10 months. I don't see how this is a bad thing. If you are in a relationship, then living with the girl is probably the best set up. Pretty difficult for your girlfriend to cheat on you when she lives with you and has to come home every night and you know where she is going. Not to mention it's a lot more economical. Of course, unless you just want to sleep around but then I would question why you would even be in a relationship to begin with.

Post: #9

7 years are hard then just gotten broken up? I'll just stay single then.

Post: #10

(11-01-2014 10:25 PM)Americas Wrote:  Lived with my ex for ~10 months. I don't see how this is a bad thing. If you are in a relationship, then living with the girl is probably the best set up. Pretty difficult for your girlfriend to cheat on you when she lives with you and has to come home every night and you know where she is going. Not to mention it's a lot more economical. Of course, unless you just want to sleep around but then I would question why you would even be in a relationship to begin with.

I don't see it as a benefit as this works both way, she will question where you're going, what you're doing, etc. The process changes from "do what you want and choose what to tell" to "tell everything and choose what to hide".
I like to have my own space, where I do exactly as I please without having to inform anyone.

Post: #11

Sure have

Like anything else if you discuss expectations ahead of time - it can save you a million headaches

Never assume things will automatically fall in place; dishes won't wash themselves and a house doesn't clean itself

It can be a best of both worlds experience, as you have your chick close by without taking the ultimate plunge

Great point by BB about having her contribute, when people contribute in a situation they automatically become vested in producing a more positive outcome versus being able to suck up your resources and then moving on to the next opportunity.

Still this is the ultimate test of your frame because there are no days off

Post: #12

(11-02-2014 02:43 AM)Pantheon Dweller Wrote:  I don't see it as a benefit as this works both way, she will question where you're going, what you're doing, etc. The process changes from "do what you want and choose what to tell" to "tell everything and choose what to hide". I like to have my own space, where I do exactly as I please without having to inform anyone.

I don't think telling someone where you are/are going is as dramatic as you think it is.

Post: #13

(11-02-2014 09:22 AM)Americas Wrote:  

(11-02-2014 02:43 AM)Pantheon Dweller Wrote:  I don't see it as a benefit as this works both way, she will question where you're going, what you're doing, etc. The process changes from "do what you want and choose what to tell" to "tell everything and choose what to hide". I like to have my own space, where I do exactly as I please without having to inform anyone.

I don't think telling someone where you are/are going is as dramatic as you think it is.

Depends on how much you value your freedom. Sure it isn't dramatic, but given the choice...

Post: #14

Yes I have.
- First girlfriend lived on the opposite side of the city, and I was living with my parents at the time. So I often went and stayed with her a couple nights at a time, she had her own place so we played house. It was fun for a while but I enjoyed having my own bed to go home to when I needed space.
- Last ex, I started living with her when I moved back to San Diego because I was flat broke. Started off as a only for a week kinda thing and blew out into 4 months. Things got serious pretty quickly, realized I didn't want a future with her (7 years older than me, high partner count, different life stages), broke up and moved out.

My thoughts on this now are "Familiarity breeds contempt" . It's hard for a chick to come home every night and be very excited to see you every time. But girls love to advance commitment (dating-monogamous-longterm-moving in-engaged-married-babies), so if you're getting serious, she will eventually push for it.

If you do it, try very hard to maintain your own life. Places to be, male friends to hang with instead of doing Friday night movies and popcorn at home with your boo.

Post: #15

No. I wouldn't be against having a girl live with me, but it would be in MY place.

Either I own the place or I have the lease completely in my name.

I wouldn't want to live in a place with anyone else's name on the lease, period. Much less a girlfriend.

That way, if things go south, she gets to leave and I get to still live in my place. I've been burned bad enough with people living with me that I don't need any of that noise.

Post: #16

i had my ex living with me in my house for 3 years. I paid most of the bills, she did some of the cooking and cleaning. It was nice when it worked, but sucked when it didnt. I was pretty blue pill and broken up over her leaving, but now that I got over it, I'm not sure I want a girl living with me again.
I do miss it sometimes, but I can steel feel the burn from the ex too.

Post: #17

I haven't had that experience.

28 and never lived with a girl, I'm not sure I'd want to either. Not to mention I more than likely wouldn't be able to bring a new girl over.

Post: #18

Letting my ex move in with me was the biggest mistake i could have made. I learned my lesson the hard way, but it all paid off in the long run.