Post: #76

Why do you keep getting attached to "emotionally toxic" women?

These women are a reflection of your mind-scape.

The women we choose to fuck are a reflection of our own self-worth.

Examine yourself, identify the patterns that are attracting these "damaged" women.. Heal, evolve, and grow stronger.

Don't blame them, you choose them.

Post: #77

(11-03-2014 03:55 PM)Constitution45 Wrote:  You are human, when you get burnt it makes you form emotionally thicker skin, which can improve all aspects of your life. Its the sort of material that great leaders are made from; embrace the mistake and move on.

This

The worst things that happen in your life are the best.

Post: #78

OG NorCal do you think you' will get involved with this type again since you've done it twice? Be honest to yourself you know deep down what the answer is. Giovanny is correct with his assessment. A confident man with high self esteem would not have stuck acround with trash. Work on that and I guarantee that you won't end up with similar types

Post: #79

Just catching up on this.

You said what you did wrong.

You let your guard down after sex.

After sex (your game was probably pretty tight, with your frame strong) the power shift took place where she had it and it transferred to you.

She predictably becomes affectionate and more submissive.

It's at this point you let your guard down, probably little by little and started handing the power back over as you fell into the trap of mirroring her affection.

This is why game is so useful; you can manage that power and keep your guard up.

This is why being redpill is so necessary because it allows you to recognize her behavior for what it is.

Sluts and whores thrive on turmoil, the happy little family scenario is boring to her.

Like all women they'll proclaim they want something but thats when they're sitting there thinking rationally and their sex drive isn't influencing them.

She liked it for a few months but look at the overall value it had.

All girls aren't as dependent on emotional ups and downs as her but ALL girls on some level do thrive on varying degrees of it.

Anyway don't beat yourself up too bad.

Its a lousy feeling because you feel like she beat you.

But in a relatively short time shell be reaching out to see how you are. Just remember that the best revenge is to live well.

Post: #80

Delete

Post: #81

Thanks for the cautionary tale and brutal honesty.

You got burned and you got bucked off the horse but you definitely didn't get played. You didn't play your cards perfect, but.....so what? A little bit of delusion and the minimal collateral damage you suffered thereafter is well worth the price of rolling up on some high-octane pussy.

I'd say you came out of this one way ahead.

After reading some replies of other posters, it looks like this isn't the first time you've let this happen to you, and on some level the dose of tough-love telling you to check yourself is justified. At the same time, a successful bounce-back is oftentimes more glorious than the hunt and handling your shit properly after these intense experiences is how you get ice in your veins and fire in your heart.

Judging by your awareness and introspection, you'll do what has to be done.

Hopefully by now you've gone ghost and you're not melting down by calling her a whore, etc. When she swings back around --highly likely if you ran good game a good percent of the time-- you'll mean it when you give her a dose of mildly casual disinterest.

Post: #82

The silver lining in this is that you didn't get her pregnant. You got out of this mess clean, so be thankful for that. I can relate to this story on so many levels. It brings back a lot of traumatic memories.

One thing that requires a lot of discipline is being willing to bail when you see the red flags.
Once a girl starts talking about going out and doing coke and molly, IMO one should conclude there that she should not be taken seriously as a long term romantic interest. It's so hard to find a girl who doesn't turn out to be fucked up even if she doesn't display any red flags, that when you see a girl with a bunch of them you just have to be ready to check out. Go ahead and bone down with her a few times or whatever, but if she's not relationship material....and deep down you know it, you have to be willing to let it go and look out for number one.

Post: #83

(11-01-2014 01:15 PM)OGNorCal707 Wrote:  Now in retrospect, I can see how foolish I was to disregard all the red flags. From the get go she seemed like a wild party girl and gave the pussy up so easy, and was freaky as hell. Any girl who can deepthroat like a champ, has learned that shit practicing on a bunch of other dudes.

She had tattoos and piercings, she had told me about a lot of coke and mdma use in her past. She told me she had turned to stripping when she moved to LA, when she was completely broke and had no other option, spinning it into a story that made her look like the victim.

I was finding out about multiple past boyfriends and everytime we were at a cafe or grocery store she would try to duck this one particular ex-bf of hers and I later found out that's because she fucked one of his business partners.

Lol man, you're not the only one.

My ex had banged 3 of her ex-roommates friends. 3. And she always denied having banged the ex roommate, which I somehow doubt. She had done xtc and tried LSD, she called herself a feminist and didn't see anythingwrong with sleeping around. She also claims to have been raped and was bulimic. She had also been in a threesome and had friends who'd travel to Barcelona and have competitions about how many guys they could fuck in 7 days... this wasn't just one red flag, it was a fucking red flag parade. Also, what this made is that once the novelty of it all fell off, a normal relationship was impossible. I had to keep up the drama or else she'd get bored, complaining to her friends that her boyfriend was just "too good to her" and "boring". Yep, she was as emotionally toxic as it gets.

I stuck around bc she was hot and I was too invested. All it got me in the end was headaches.

And yes, also her, within 4 weeks of us breaking up, she was travelling with some new dude, hugging him on her Instagram and sitting on him on another picture (while posting maybe 2 pictures over the course of our 18 month relationship). On top of it all, she went on a 4 week road trip through europe, while claiming that she was too broke to help pay the bills at home

I'm extremely grateful it happened tho. I judge women now ruthlessly depending on their past, I always assume they have the worst intentions and I will surely not start exclusively dating a girl after a month of hooking up (like in my ex's case, where all the crazy shit came out in month 3 or 4). I now am as fit as ever, I have more money as ever, I drive better cars than ever, and I have more time for my family, friends and travelling.

Not a single day passes by where I don't think what I'd tell that fucking bitch if I would run into her. But man, it gets better. I noticed lately that it has gotten less and less on my mind and I am sure in a month or two, it'll be nonexistent. Man, I could go on about this bitch and it was a fun ride for sure. All I'm trying to say to you is.. keep your head up and keep working on yourself.

Post: #84

I recently had my gf of 1.5 years break up with me. She was almost the opposite of your ex, modest, nuturing, didn't drink or do drugs at all, and had only a few other LTR relationships with guys. Solid girl next door 7, saw long term potential with me, wanted a family someday (which I didn't neccesarily want, but I entertained the possibility.

I get a job in a new town, she really wants to move with me and get out of her shitty retail job. We move in together, after 2 months of unhappiness and her not finding a job her, she moves back into her parents and goes back to the same shit job she left.

It was punch in the gut, but it was the event that forced to fully swallow the red pill. I chocked on it before, my last LTR was several years ago in college, and I experienced the exact same pattern and dumping, I went into monk mode for a year, no girls at all but was persuing my passions, moved out West, and did a lot to better my self. This time I threw myself back into the game immediately and have two girls on rotation that are hotter and younger. I don't miss my ex at all.

Post: #85

Part I:






Part II (The Sequel):

Post: #86

So I guess you feel better now.

Post: #87

After the depression comes the anger then the ?? Will Og Nor Cal fall into same pattern?

Post: #88

Shit, I missed this post in the beginning of the month.

Tons of good advice on this thread. This is why the RVF community is the real deal. No bullshit support.

OG thanks for sharing.

Post: #89

Wow.

Went through a similar situation on a smaller scale literally several days ago when a girl from California was coming out to visit me overseas( in Tel Aviv). The crazy thing is, my roommate told me to read this thread before she came out as a heads up.

Me and this girl hit it off very quickly when we met 3 months ago or so. Layed her the first night. Had amazing sex, and she ends up staying with me for the next day or so before flying back to America. I actually thought we had great chemistry and definitely wanted to keep on seeing her, as did she. Iv been single for several years now, and figured why possibly engage in something more serious. We agree that we want to see where this goes. She books a flight to come visit me in Canada several weeks later as I was already flying home to visit family.

To give some background on how our communication was up until she came to visit me in Canada 3-4 weeks after our initial meet. She was texting me everyday ALL DAY. Im talking from 8am right up until 11 at night. If she didnt respond to me within an hour, she would apologize for the delay and tell me what she was doing. She was being insanely straight up about everything, playing zero games through text, zero shit tests, saying things to me that I am shocked she would say to a guy without him thinking shes into deep. To be honest, it was a breath of fresh air from the average cunt I would run into at the bars here in Tel Aviv. As a result, I figured I could get away with showing some affection in return, in effect mirroring her tone but a little less. She would send me messages on how lucky she feels to have met me. How shes hasnt felt this way about anyone ever, misses everything about me blah blah. This was non stop for almost a month which in turn made me believe that maybe this girl is really sincere. I figured I had finally met an awesome girl, who is amazing in bed, doesnt play any bullshit and is straight up. Even with me being exposed to red pill, I let my guard down a bit, with red pill clouds looming as things progressed. I wanted to believe this girl was legit.

Since I dont want to steal the spotlight of this thread I will just fast foreward up until today. She flew out to me in Tel Aviv three nights ago. The second she came out of the airport I knew something was off. They way she kissed me was forced. We get back home and she says feels nasty and doesnt want to have sex until the following day. I play it off but definately concerned. Following night we go out together to a party, we come home and she says how shes annoyed at me and my energy was pressuring her into something she isnt ready to jump into. She goes on to tell me how she thought was "clear" she just wants to keep things casual with me and she likes just having fun with me right now, and how she isnt in a current position to jump into a relationship at all and then goes on to refuse me sex for the second night in the row because of her being annoyed at what transpired. This hits me as a total surprise of course as I thought we were at the mutual understand that we were to see where this goes, as I was under the impression she was really into me. Not to mention how many times she told me shes never felt anything like this with anyone ever.The vibe gets uncomfortable and I end up telling her to find a hotel for the remainder of the trip. She is still currently in my city at some hotel for the next several days. The entire time of knowing this girl, my gut was telling me something is wrong and its too good to be true. All my friends said there are some real red flags and proceed with caution. Even though I was aware of the all the red flags, something inside me wanted to see what would happen and experience it and learn from it.

The girl:

-27 years old
- Short/dyed blonde hair style
-Tatted the fuck up, entire back and several on her arms
- Was into hard drugs early on in her life but has been clean for the last 5 years
- Mom was an alcoholic
- Doesnt talk to her dad

These were all red flags that I was aware off, but played it off because of her initial refreshing behaviour that made me think that maybe this girl has changed and got her shit together per say. She was in school studying, working two jobs and paying her way, was smart and could hold a rather intelligent conversation, wasnt a big clubber at this point in her life, not a huge drinker, and currently didnt do any drugs. All of these factors made me not think the initial redflags were that relavant anymore. LESSON FUCKING LEARNED. It definitely stings at the moment but I guess its good this happend now and not in 3 more months of me wasting my time on a crazy bitch. The hardest thing I find in any type of relationship is having the discipline to do whats right when knowing in your head what the right thing is, but sometimes quality pussy mixed with emotions can blind you, and something that can only be learned through actual experience.

Post: #90

(11-23-2014 10:32 AM)sandman972 Wrote:  Wow.

Went through a similar situation on a smaller scale literally several days ago when a girl from California was coming out to visit me overseas( in Tel Aviv). The crazy thing is, my roommate told me to read this thread before she came out as a heads up.

Me and this girl hit it off very quickly when we met 3 months ago or so. Layed her the first night. Had amazing sex, and she ends up staying with me for the next day or so before flying back to America. I actually thought we had great chemistry and definitely wanted to keep on seeing her, as did she. Iv been single for several years now, and figured why possibly engage in something more serious. We agree that we want to see where this goes. She books a flight to come visit me in Canada several weeks later as I was already flying home to visit family.

To give some background on how our communication was up until she came to visit me in Canada 3-4 weeks after our initial meet. She was texting me everyday ALL DAY. Im talking from 8am right up until 11 at night. If she didnt respond to me within an hour, she would apologize for the delay and tell me what she was doing. She was being insanely straight up about everything, playing zero games through text, zero shit tests, saying things to me that I am shocked she would say to a guy without him thinking shes into deep. To be honest, it was a breath of fresh air from the average cunt I would run into at the bars here in Tel Aviv. As a result, I figured I could get away with showing some affection in return, in effect mirroring her tone but a little less. She would send me messages on how lucky she feels to have met me. How shes hasnt felt this way about anyone ever, misses everything about me blah blah. This was non stop for almost a month which in turn made me believe that maybe this girl is really sincere. I figured I had finally met an awesome girl, who is amazing in bed, doesnt play any bullshit and is straight up. Even with me being exposed to red pill, I let my guard down a bit, with red pill clouds looming as things progressed. I wanted to believe this girl was legit.

Since I dont want to steal the spotlight of this thread I will just fast foreward up until today. She flew out to me in Tel Aviv three nights ago. The second she came out of the airport I knew something was off. They way she kissed me was forced. We get back home and she says feels nasty and doesnt want to have sex until the following day. I play it off but definately concerned. Following night we go out together to a party, we come home and she says how shes annoyed at me and my energy was pressuring her into something she isnt ready to jump into. She goes on to tell me how she thought was "clear" she just wants to keep things casual with me and she likes just having fun with me right now, and how she isnt in a current position to jump into a relationship at all and then goes on to refuse me sex for the second night in the row because of her being annoyed at what transpired. This hits me as a total surprise of course as I thought we were at the mutual understand that we were to see where this goes, as I was under the impression she was really into me. Not to mention how many times she told me shes never felt anything like this with anyone ever.The vibe gets uncomfortable and I end up telling her to find a hotel for the remainder of the trip. She is still currently in my city at some hotel for the next several days. The entire time of knowing this girl, my gut was telling me something is wrong and its too good to be true. All my friends said there are some real red flags and proceed with caution. Even though I was aware of the all the red flags, something inside me wanted to see what would happen and experience it and learn from it.

The girl:

-27 years old
- Short/dyed blonde hair style
-Tatted the fuck up, entire back and several on her arms
- Was into hard drugs early on in her life but has been clean for the last 5 years
- Mom was an alcoholic
- Doesnt talk to her dad

These were all red flags that I was aware off, but played it off because of her initial refreshing behaviour that made me think that maybe this girl has changed and got her shit together per say. She was in school studying, working two jobs and paying her way, was smart and could hold a rather intelligent conversation, wasnt a big clubber at this point in her life, not a huge drinker, and currently didnt do any drugs. All of these factors made me not think the initial redflags were that relavant anymore. LESSON FUCKING LEARNED. It definitely stings at the moment but I guess its good this happend now and not in 3 more months of me wasting my time on a crazy bitch. The hardest thing I find in any type of relationship is having the discipline to do whats right when knowing in your head what the right thing is, but sometimes quality pussy mixed with emotions can blind you, and something that can only be learned through actual experience.

Regarding "when their behavior starts to seem off" , gut intuition, the OP's post and this^

This: http://therationalmale.com/2011/09/06/th...e-message/

Post: #91

(11-23-2014 01:37 PM)robreke Wrote:  

(11-23-2014 10:32 AM)sandman972 Wrote:  Wow.

Went through a similar situation on a smaller scale literally several days ago when a girl from California was coming out to visit me overseas( in Tel Aviv). The crazy thing is, my roommate told me to read this thread before she came out as a heads up.

Me and this girl hit it off very quickly when we met 3 months ago or so. Layed her the first night. Had amazing sex, and she ends up staying with me for the next day or so before flying back to America. I actually thought we had great chemistry and definitely wanted to keep on seeing her, as did she. Iv been single for several years now, and figured why possibly engage in something more serious. We agree that we want to see where this goes. She books a flight to come visit me in Canada several weeks later as I was already flying home to visit family.

To give some background on how our communication was up until she came to visit me in Canada 3-4 weeks after our initial meet. She was texting me everyday ALL DAY. Im talking from 8am right up until 11 at night. If she didnt respond to me within an hour, she would apologize for the delay and tell me what she was doing. She was being insanely straight up about everything, playing zero games through text, zero shit tests, saying things to me that I am shocked she would say to a guy without him thinking shes into deep. To be honest, it was a breath of fresh air from the average cunt I would run into at the bars here in Tel Aviv. As a result, I figured I could get away with showing some affection in return, in effect mirroring her tone but a little less. She would send me messages on how lucky she feels to have met me. How shes hasnt felt this way about anyone ever, misses everything about me blah blah. This was non stop for almost a month which in turn made me believe that maybe this girl is really sincere. I figured I had finally met an awesome girl, who is amazing in bed, doesnt play any bullshit and is straight up. Even with me being exposed to red pill, I let my guard down a bit, with red pill clouds looming as things progressed. I wanted to believe this girl was legit.

Since I dont want to steal the spotlight of this thread I will just fast foreward up until today. She flew out to me in Tel Aviv three nights ago. The second she came out of the airport I knew something was off. They way she kissed me was forced. We get back home and she says feels nasty and doesnt want to have sex until the following day. I play it off but definately concerned. Following night we go out together to a party, we come home and she says how shes annoyed at me and my energy was pressuring her into something she isnt ready to jump into. She goes on to tell me how she thought was "clear" she just wants to keep things casual with me and she likes just having fun with me right now, and how she isnt in a current position to jump into a relationship at all and then goes on to refuse me sex for the second night in the row because of her being annoyed at what transpired. This hits me as a total surprise of course as I thought we were at the mutual understand that we were to see where this goes, as I was under the impression she was really into me. Not to mention how many times she told me shes never felt anything like this with anyone ever.The vibe gets uncomfortable and I end up telling her to find a hotel for the remainder of the trip. She is still currently in my city at some hotel for the next several days. The entire time of knowing this girl, my gut was telling me something is wrong and its too good to be true. All my friends said there are some real red flags and proceed with caution. Even though I was aware of the all the red flags, something inside me wanted to see what would happen and experience it and learn from it.

The girl:

-27 years old
- Short/dyed blonde hair style
-Tatted the fuck up, entire back and several on her arms
- Was into hard drugs early on in her life but has been clean for the last 5 years
- Mom was an alcoholic
- Doesnt talk to her dad

These were all red flags that I was aware off, but played it off because of her initial refreshing behaviour that made me think that maybe this girl has changed and got her shit together per say. She was in school studying, working two jobs and paying her way, was smart and could hold a rather intelligent conversation, wasnt a big clubber at this point in her life, not a huge drinker, and currently didnt do any drugs. All of these factors made me not think the initial redflags were that relavant anymore. LESSON FUCKING LEARNED. It definitely stings at the moment but I guess its good this happend now and not in 3 more months of me wasting my time on a crazy bitch. The hardest thing I find in any type of relationship is having the discipline to do whats right when knowing in your head what the right thing is, but sometimes quality pussy mixed with emotions can blind you, and something that can only be learned through actual experience.

Regarding "when their behavior starts to seem off" , gut intuition, the OP's post and this^

This: http://therationalmale.com/2011/09/06/th...e-message/

Robreke, that post from rationalmale definately gave more alot more closure on the issue than what I had hours earlier, so thanks for that post. After reading that post and what Fisto mentioned about the power shift slowly being transferred back to her,it makes total sense and actually has caused me to retract what I said about her being a crazy bitch. Could she have possibly turned out to be a crazy bitch later on if I had actually been dating her months in, but it didnt even get to that point.

She was just being a female, and by me mirroring her affection after the initial high and initial power shift being transferred to me, I slowly gave it back to her by increased beta tendencies. To sum it up, my game wasn't strong or tight enough in the long run to keep this girl as interested as she was in the beginning, as a result im not even slightly angry at her. This thread is definitely a game altering piece of information. Personally probably the most influential information I had yet to be exposed to in regard to relationship game.