Post: #1

Okay, I fully expect to get a ton of criticism for this, and I look forward to thoughtful, averse, responses.

I am seriously considering being engaged.

Background: I am incredibly young, 24, live in LA. I’m 6’2, in shape, and have hooked up with well over 50 girls in the past couple years. I make in the relatively meager 40-50k range, and have 6 degrees, all of which are in social sciences. I have dated two girls prior, one for four years and the other for 6 months.
I have been dating my current girlfriend for a measly 6 months.

So obviously, why would I get married?

The truth is, is it would be a major game changer for me, and most likely in a positive direction.

Being single for me is incredibly hard on my health, as I’ll stay out, drink often, and put myself at risk for STDs. I’ve already had multiple scares for various infections, and am still currently getting some sorted out. It’s not fun. I’ve somehow dodged herpes, but it’s sketch thinking that it’s possible I could have HPV, and not know.

Another huge factor is cost. I currently can save 400 a month, and that’s with no fun lifestyle spending. No trips to Vegas, no plane tickets, nothing. Drinks have to be done on the cheapest of cheap, and I keep a strict diet as much for health as I do for cost.

My girlfriend and potentially fiancé is a good catch, though I’m far from oneitis (which is another problem in and of itself). My girlfriend is attractive, completely devoted and lacking in any sort of red flags. She hasn’t had a boyfriend prior so I know part of her emotions are because I’m the first guy to come along and fuck her up mentally (she attended nursing school and has zero male friends, save for an orbiter who has a girlfriend already).

She’s sweet, dedicated, attractive and basically everything you want in a female. She’s basically a step up from my girlfriend of 4 years, who I finally dropped after wanting to be single.

So why am I considering this?

Well, I am completely self-made, my mother has no finances and my father passed away in poverty. I’ve worked since I was 17 and made enough money to get through school and just kind of keep paying my bills.

My girlfriend is finishing nursing school, and will be graduating debt free (thanks to her father), and is set to start at 80k a year, working 3 days a week, should she work 4 days a week, she’ll be aiming to make 110k+.
Starting off in life with a combined income of 150k+ would be huge, and is something that I wouldn’t be able to on my own without either taking some massive risks, or going through more school. She wants to be a mom, so she has openly said that she only wants to work until 28 or 29 before switching to working in education for a massive pay drop, but much better hours if you have kids. I prefer this, and am seeking to work in education as well. (Even if we both worked at a school, we would have a combined income 100k+, which would be comfortable).
I know I could wait until I’m older, but I’m kind of negative, and of all the girls I’ve met, she’s by far the top of the line in regards to relationship material.

Thoughts?

I would propose in the next couple months, and get married next fall. There'd be plenty of time for shit to hit the fan if there's something that would come up. I know every person she's ever kissed

Post: #2

Quote:I have been dating my current girlfriend for a measly 6 months.

That's why not.

Post: #3

Clarey is generally right about everything. Worth a good watch.

Post: #4

Seems legit. God bless.

Post: #5

You have 6 degrees at age 24? Unless you mean they are some sort of certifications and you are calling them degrees.

Post: #6

You're 24. Way too young.

If you're really worked about your health stop drinking so much, switch to meeting girls in the day/online. I'm guessing you raw dog a lot? Probably best to avoid raw dogging unless its a girl you are sure is clean is you trust her.

I can't see any benefit getting married at such a your age. I'd wait till your mid 30s, when you've matured and know what you want out of your life.

Post: #7

If she makes you happy do it

Post: #8

"The truth is, is it would be a major game changer for me, and most likely in a positive direction.

Being single for me is incredibly hard on my health, as I’ll stay out, drink often, and put myself at risk for STDs. I’ve already had multiple scares for various infections, and am still currently getting some sorted out. It’s not fun. I’ve somehow dodged herpes, but it’s sketch thinking that it’s possible I could have HPV, and not know."

I'm going to be pretty blunt here, because you asked for advice and you deserve to get it. I'm reading this as "I don't have my shit together, and I want to chain myself to someone else because it will stop me from making bad decisions." I hope you're mature enough to realize that the answer is to stop making poor decisions rather than try to drag someone else into your life and hope it magically makes your situation improve. If you're making bad decisions now, you're going to continue making bad decisions in the future, but it will be a different set of bad decisions, with potentially worse consequences.

Post: #9

Getting married to an American girl is a mistake.

Post: #10

This doesn't read right to me

(10-27-2014 09:58 PM)Jameson Wrote:  and have hooked up with well over 50 girls in the past couple years

Neither does this

(10-27-2014 09:58 PM)Jameson Wrote:  I am incredibly young

Something very off here. "Incredibly young" is a female's phrase.

Post: #11

@peregine, by the time I'd marry her it'd be almost 20 months, which at that point I'd want to collect on my time invested. If shit hits the fan before that, there'll be some public embarassment, and a much stronger resolve to keep gaming girls

@slayer, I took up to 30+ units per semester, it's a mix of BAs and AAs.

@Saladin, my current job doesn't give me the spare time to day game (I'm currently posting this on my 12th hour in, and I'll be here awhile longer). I also can only rawdag, I've never been able to keep an erection with a condom, and refuse to use them. Tripling my income is definitely one of my main reasons

@blair, will watch when my coworkers go away

Post: #12

Quote:Being single for me is incredibly hard on my health, as I’ll stay out, drink often, and put myself at risk for STDs.
.....

Another huge factor is cost. I currently can save 400 a month...

That sounds like most of the married older corporate men I know, and you'll save even less for yourself as a married man in general.

Those two factors call for a lifestyle change, not marriage. If you think you can use a woman to drive changes within yourself, you'll be in for a bad surprise.

Having said that, if you're the marrying kind and the woman is a good candidate, then go for it. But getting married won't make you healthy and rich, unlike what the propagandas say.

I'd do a few more checks though: what's your girlfriend's family like? Specifically, what is her mother like and what is the relationship between her parents?

Post: #13

I don't understand what your hurry to marry is. How is your income not combined if you are not married?

You list your health (std's and drinking) as a reason to get married. Wouldn't it be easier to stop drinking and wear a condom?

You also list being a negative person and saying she's by far a good girl and all that.

Again, wouldn't it be better for you to improve yourself with some real work?

Marrying isn't going to solve your problems.

It sounds like you simply WANT to be married.

I have no problem with a guy getting married if that's what he wants. It's your life. But your stated reasons are not very good.

Post: #14

(10-27-2014 09:58 PM)Jameson Wrote:  Background: I am incredibly young, 24, live in LA. I’m 6’2, in shape, and have hooked up with well over 50 girls in the past couple years. I make in the relatively meager 40-50k range, and have 6 degrees, all of which are in social sciences. I have dated two girls prior, one for four years and the other for 6 months.
I have been dating my current girlfriend for a measly 6 months.

Post: #15

(10-27-2014 09:58 PM)Jameson Wrote:  I am incredibly young, 24

(10-27-2014 09:58 PM)Jameson Wrote:  I have been dating my current girlfriend for a measly 6 months

Sounds like a no so far, I'll continue reading to see if she's a millionaire though.

Also, you didn't mention her age.

(10-27-2014 09:58 PM)Jameson Wrote:  Being single for me is incredibly hard on my health, as I’ll stay out, drink often, and put myself at risk for STDs.

So stop doing that, you can be single without being self destructive.

(10-27-2014 09:58 PM)Jameson Wrote:  will be graduating debt free (thanks to her father)

Her millionaire father? If yes, then I'd say maybe.
If no, then I wouldn't do it.

Post: #16

It's possible to find a needle in a haystack but marrying an american woman is really playing with fire from a legal, emotional, and material point of view. There's probably better odds of success playing roulette at a Las Vegas casino.

24 is young and let's say it doesn't work out you can probably bounce back if you don't have a kid with her. However once you're financially invested in the marriage (believe me you will be) with a kid there's almost no turning back.

If it doesn't work out you may be sacrificing some of the best years in your 30's when most men really grow into their own.

Post: #17

I don't think he should be shamed into not getting married. Shaming is how women become careerist carouselers.

The family life IS the right life for a certain type of man, but I don't advise he marry in the West. That is a mistake that too many men have made before. It doesn't matter how sweet she looks or how solid her backstory looks, culture is poison and women are great actors.

Post: #18

Girl marry me, girl save me from myself
Save me from herpes, save my livers health
All these degrees, girl help me stack my wealth
Help me act more nicely, girl take my freedom for yourself

Post: #19

@fisto/Faust, I have my life pretty well in order, though barring a career hop, I'm most likely looking a my current schedule for at least a few years-

6 am, Gym
730 breakfast/shower
8 commute
9 work
8 get off/commute
830 get home, write, read, relax
930 sleep

Save 400 max a month and visit San Diego/OC/SF on weekends.

Getting married would increase my income to go back to school

@strike, her best friend is her dad. Parents are married.

Post: #20

Ok, you're 24 and how old is she? What's her background? Is she from a traditional country/culture or western? Does she come from a united family where both parents are till around and married? This is a big factor to consider when selecting a girl for something as serious as marriage.

Have you done any traveling yet? And by traveling I don't mean weekends in Vegas or a week or two at an inclusive resort in Mexico or the DR.

If not, you'd be a fool to get married before having done any travelling. As to where you might ask? Simple. Take a look at the travel section of this very forum which is a veritable encyclopedia of options around the world.

Get to experience the world. Nothing opens your eyes to the wonderful world we live in than travel. Experience the camaraderie with other like minded guys.

Go spend 6-12 months in Asia or South America or a Eastern Europe.

Experience the intoxicating highs you'd get while spending time with super feminine, traditional and uber sweet and exotic girls from around the world.

I can guarantee you that the girls outside the US are a totally different species than anything g you can find in the North America. I mean exponentially better in every aspect! And I can also guarantee you that within the first month overseas, you will meet at least 5 if not 10 girls who are better than your girl in the US!

Here's the ultimate test to really see the other side of your girl specially since you've only known her for 6 months. Go travel with her for a month. Go to a place where both of you will be outside your comfort zone. That is do not stay at a nice resort in the US, Caribbean or Mexico/Western Europe. Go backpacking together!

During travel is when you get to really known someone as you'd be spending basically 24/7 with them. While dating or seeing someone a few times a week, the person only shows her best side. While traveling and being together 24/7, there's no hiding that. You will get into arguments with her. Even fighting. You will see her irritated and bitching and whining and her nagging and trying to control you. Pay very close attention to these during these times. This is your only chance to see that part of her now. The next time you'll see it, is once she's got the ring and by then, it will be too late for you.

If at the end of that month long travel together, of being with her 24/7, you're still as much in love with her, then you'd be in a much better position to make an informed decision that you are now.

Bets of luck. But remember, do not rush it. Marriage is no joke. It is life changing. Unfortunately, in the Anglosphere, it's more in a negative ways than positive. I invite you to think long and hard and to browse the pages of these forums and read the stories about what the system and the courts have been doing to good, law abiding citizens as a result of them doing what they were told and expected to do by Society.

Proceed with extreme caution my friend!

Post: #21

@iop, STD risk comes with being single successfully, there's not too many ways around it. Condoms can only do so much

And yes, millionaire father haha

She's 22

@chinito, that was kind of my thought was well. But I'd rather be restarting with a better degree and some money than my current degree and 75k saved max

Post: #22

I believe the sweet spot is having around 8-9 degrees, so keep going, you're almost there.

Post: #23

(10-27-2014 09:58 PM)Jameson Wrote:  I am incredibly young, 24, live in LA. I’m 6’2, in shape, and have hooked up with well over 50 girls in the past couple years.

Post: #24

This reads like it was written by someone with knowledge of the situation but not by the guy in the story.
Probably to gain insight into the way a guy thinks.

My guess is the nurse or the last girl before her.

Post: #25

(10-27-2014 10:31 PM)Vacancier Permanent Wrote:  Ok, you're 24 and how old is she? What's her background? Is she from a traditional country/culture or western? Does she come from a united family where both parents are till around and married? This is a big factor to consider when selecting a girl for something as serious as marriage.

Have you done any traveling yet? And by traveling I don't mean weekends in Vegas or a week or two at an inclusive resort in Mexico or the DR.

If not, you'd be a fool to get married before having done any travelling. As to where you might ask? Simple. Take a look at the travel section of this very forum which is a veritable encyclopedia of options around the world.

Get to experience the world. Nothing opens your eyes to the wonderful world we live in than travel. Experience the camaraderie with other like minded guys.

Go spend 6-12 months in Asia or South America or a Eastern Europe.

Experience the intoxicating intoxicating you'd get while spending time with super feminine, traditional and uber sweet and exotic girls from around the world.

Here's the ultimate rest to really see the other side of your girl specially since you've only known her for 6 months. Go travel with her for a month. During travel is when you get to really known someone as you'd be spending basically 24/7 with them. While dating or seeing someone a few times a week, the person on,y shows her best side. Wile traveling and being together 24/7, there's no hiding that. You will get into arguments with her. Even fighting. You will see her irritated and bitching and whining. Pay very close attention during these times. If at the end of that month long travel together, of being with her 24/7, you're still as much in love with her, then you'd be in a much better position to make an informed decision that you are now.

Bets of luck. But remember, do not rush it. Marriage is no joke. It is life changing. Unfortunately, in the Anglosphere, it's more in a negative ways than positive. I invite you to think long and hard and to browse the pages of this forums and read the stories about what the system and the courts have been doing to good, law abiding citizens as a result of them doing what they were told and expected to do by Society.

Proceed with extreme caution my friend!

I would love to travel internationally, as I never have. I have visited nearly every national park west of the Mississippi, but haven't explored culturally outside of the US. Money/work/school have been the largest issue for this, and while not insurmountable, they have continuously pushed back my ability to do anything. (China has been on the horizon awhile now, it's only 2-3 grand, and only 3 weeks, but I've never had both at once).

I have traveled a lot this past summer with my girlfriend, on trips she's paid for. We've done Yosemite, Big Sur, Humboldt, Tahoe etc. Trips have all been 3-10 days.

She was slightly overweight in highschool/college and never had an ego. She lost 20-30 pounds and is probably an 8-9 now. She's half asian, family intact, very traditional. She came a day early this past weekend to clean my house, iron and cook.