Post: #26

I had a best friend of 7 years who got more and more white knight and beta bitch as the years went by. He'd give me shit about being aggressive in clubs, text game, going for multiple girls etc. He was the guy that believed he had dibs on every girl in the club when he walked in....

I cut him out almost a year ago. At times it's really lonely and the temptation to call him up and grab a beer is immense. we really did have a good bond. But then I remember all the destructive influences he had on my life and how miserable he made me feel at times and I'm glad I ditched him.

My advice is that before you call him up, remember all the shitty stuff he did and ask yourself if you think he's changed...

Post: #27

(10-20-2014 01:22 AM)Achilles Wrote:  I had a best friend of 7 years who got more and more white knight and beta bitch as the years went by. He'd give me shit about being aggressive in clubs, text game, going for multiple girls etc. He was the guy that believed he had dibs on every girl in the club when he walked in....

I cut him out almost a year ago. At times it's really lonely and the temptation to call him up and grab a beer is immense. we really did have a good bond. But then I remember all the destructive influences he had on my life and how miserable he made me feel at times and I'm glad I ditched him.

My advice is that before you call him up, remember all the shitty stuff he did and ask yourself if you think he's changed...

exactly - in some ways its like cutting a destructive ex or FB from your life. when the chips are down sometimes you WANT those old friends back but you know that it will be worse for you if you do.

Post: #28

(10-19-2014 03:53 PM)lycosidae Wrote:  I don't tolerate white knighting. A friend can be slightly beta and I'll keep him around if I think there's hope he'll change, but a relationship dude who is actively white knighting to support his girlfriend's worldview, I just don't think there is hope for such a creature. He lacks character...

Agreed, I cannot stand this kind of behavior. Guys who just sell out to their girlfriend's whims and interests just to keep their dick wet. Mangina as fuck.

Post: #29

It's always sad to lose a friend, but there is no hope for him. Even if you say that this isn't his character and he's just being dominated by his cunt girlfriend, remember that there will always be the next girl. A guy who is this soft and malleable will never be a good friend.

Also, be certain that he will try to backstab you again when you are far more vulnerable (for example, tell some chick you met on Tinder and had casual sex with that your encounter with her sounds like rape).

It's one thing to not approve of something your friend is doing, or to hang out less because he's occupied with his girlfriend, but entirely other to badmouth him and try to poison his relationships or fuck up your life in other regards. That's a whole another level of worse.

Do not ever speak to this man again unless he comes crawling back to apologize, and even then be extremely cautious. I know it hurts, but it's for your own good.

Post: #30

I had a guy who I considered as a best friend fuck me over after 4 years, and I never looked back because I knew he'd do it again. It's like dating; some go well, some don't.

Biggest thing is to ask "Would this guy have my back if something went down?".

I have plenty of buddies, but only two guys I trust. People come and go, so don't be too upset.

Post: #31

Some guys just turn in to huge pussys when they're in relationships, and others you just realize they were shit friends all along. This friend might be the latter but who knows. Maybe when they break up he will be a good friend again.

I had a situation that I'll call a little similar. Let's just say I was having a heated, drunken discussion about something with one of my best bros on a set of stairs. I don't even remember what it was about and to this day we are great friends. Anyways, enter some bitch that's going out with another one of our "friends." The best way I can describe what happens next is we are yelling at each other an inch from each others faces (one of my best friends and I) and this girl, thinking we are about to fight, yanks me by my collar and I trip down the stairs on top of her. Best way to describe this would be a horse collar tackle in football. She goes balistic, and so does her boy friend who at the time I would call a friend. Saying I need to apologize and shit like that. Obviously I didn't, it's not my fault that a dumb bitch pulled a 205 pound dude on top of herself and thought that would go well to begin with. Then the boy friend said we are not friends if I don't apologize. I told him he could go fuck himself if he's just going to take such a hard line to begin with solely because he's dating some bitch.

Post: #32

(10-20-2014 01:47 PM)Frontenac Wrote:  People come and go, so don't be too upset.

100%

If you can learn this as early as possible in life you'll gain a whole new perspective on things going forward.

It's a tough lesson to learn though

Post: #33

Good. You are better off without him. Spineless coward with no sense of principle.

Post: #34

Others will tell you that some guys turn into spineless zombies when they're in a relationship.

No. This is blaming the girl. No girl can make a guy into a spineless zombie. He is just as much at fault.

He WAS a spineless zombie, you just didn't realize it.

Recognize this to be true and never speak to him again.

Speaking from experience, having lost my best friend since I was 9 years old and whom I'd lived with for many years into adulthood.

I could blame the girl, but his actions ever since have proven him to be an emotional wreck, looking after only his self interests.

Worst decision I ever made regarding a friend, to let him back into my life after the girl.

You are familiar with him and share common interests. That's a strong acquaintance, not a friend.

Post: #35

I think you've made the right decision. Do not go back, by doing that you'll most likely reinforce his view that he was right and he'll be an even bigger bitch. This is why I love Facebook, it's a magnificent time machine that reminds me of the good decisions I've made in life so far.