Post: #1

There's been many thread here on approach anxiety but I'm surprised I couldn't find anything concerning anxiety that happens during a set.

I've experienced a fair bit of tenseness at times while in the middle of a set. It manifests usually in feeling something clench inside and my body temperature rising. Occasionally my voice turns out a bit more forced.

I know that at least, the last couple of times I've escalated physically enough, the girl was able to pick up on that -- the first make out close and during sex. Suffice to say, it's safe to presume one can notice that earlier on too.

Here's the thing: it doesn't always happen, and when it does, it's usually arbitrary -- I've compared them against my other approaches and they haven't necessarily been proportionate to my level of interest, how are I've escalated, etc.
Further, I don't necessarily feel nervous or edgy per se, though it mightn't stop me from feeling that physical grip in lieu of that.

To give a bit more background, I was treated for various anxiety issues when I was much younger. I've faced much more stressful situations with a cool head and normally do, and have taken step including yoga and meditation to overcome that.

Has anyone ever faced and overcome this issue?

Post: #2

take a quarter of a cialis pill and you will know that if you get her alone and naked you will wreck her. then you can focus on getting her alone and naked

Post: #3

I have had anxiety and ADHD all my life, I used to get beaten up in primary school and secondary school and used as a punching bag by my parents, both mentally and physically, so I developed PTSD along with the anxiety and ADHD. It took years of cognitive behavioral therapy, meditation and counselling to help out.

I tried out medication, but it became apparent that it is only a band-aid solution

What really helped out though was using sheer will power to fight my anxiety and stress issues. Now i am somewhat normal and can talk to girls and guys in a normal way.

But there is no quick fix, just takes constant effort and work to permanently stabilize it.

Best of luck

Post: #4

L-Theanine and 5-HTP daily is amazing for general anxiety.

Post: #5

The question I would ask is, how do you know that they pick up on your anxiety? Have they told you directly "You seem a little anxious...", do you have direct evidence, or are you just trying to see some kind of "pattern" in their behavior and interpreting those patterns that way?

I suffer from anxiety from time to time as well, mostly what they call "generalized anxiety." One thing I think that people who suffer from mild to moderate anxiety tend to do is overestimate the amount of time and effort that people put into focusing on the sufferer. Sometimes it can feel like everyone is looking at you, staring at you, judging you, or thinking negative thoughts about you.

Truth of the matter is, 99% of the time it's always a gross overestimation. Nobody really gives a fuck. They might look at you for 3 seconds and think "hmm who's that weird guy" and literally 3 seconds later their thoughts have turned to something else. They're too wrapped up in their own lives. Nobody cares.

"Dodgson, we've got Dodgson here!"





Sounds like regardless of the anxiety you felt, you usually pushed through and got the bang anyway, and while I'm sure it's annoying, at the end of the day it's the results that count. I'm not sure it's ever going to go completely away, it's just one of those things that you have to manage and push through to the best of your ability.

So another question occurred to me - if in the end it's not causing you to get shut down and you're nutting in these girls anyway, even if they do legitimately pick up on it, why do you care? I think the kind of fast sex that young Western women seem to go for these days is always going to have some anxiousness involved; that's also sort of an intrinsic component of desire and passion. Is it a pride thing? Are you concerned that these girls won't see you as some kind of ultimate smooth player? Because I don't think that's required or even necessarily desirable in the process of getting the bang.

One thing I've done a few times when I was feeling really nervous is just do what they call "hang a lampshade on it." I might say directly "Hmmm ok this is the part where I get a biiiiiiiit nervous." Chances are she'll laugh, the tension will be relieved, and you'll carry on to smash. She's not automatically thinking "OMG he's a little nervous, that means he's a newb who's sexually inexperienced."

Are you really so concerned that Slutty Sally, who you bang on the first date after 2 hours of conversation at a bar, might momentarily think that you think the whole process, while possibly passionate, is kind of fast, contrived, and unnatural?

Post: #6

Does that anxiety usually appear once you initiate some sort of touch to break physical barrier?