Post: #1

I have a question. Cold opened a freshman redheaded 6 the other day, got her facebook and here's how our exchanges have been. Mind you, her facebook picture is her kissing her boyfriend's cheek and she has tons of pictures with him saying he's her best friend and the love of her life. Let me know where I fucked up.

me: 9:03pm right after I friend requested her
me: nobody agrees with me, but I love this kind of weather 1:13pm the next day
her: Yeah I do too actually 1:14pm
me: that means we're cool. it's good for hot chocolate 1:16pm
her: Of course. And indeed it is or tea/coffee 1:17
me: I have a paper to do right now, but let's get one later 1:18pm
her: Wait what? 1:18pm
me: hot chocolate 1:19pm
her: What about it? I'm so confused 1:20pm
me: girl brain 1:27pm
her: ??? 1:28pm
me: lol 1:31pm
her: Ok 1:32pm
I planned on leaving it like that for a few days, but then
me: break time 8:41pm same day
me: what percent good and what percent bad are you 9:01pm

she read it right away, but never responded so today, two days later, I sent a feeler text
me: it's so nice outside 1:05pm

Any thoughts would be appreciated, good or bad. Thanks.

Post: #2

All joking aside, I think I can give you an answer by only reading your first paragraph. If she gave you her Facebook, I'm guessing that you either asked for her Facebook instead of her number (big mistake) or you asked for her number and she countered by offering her Facebook (huge red flag).

Post: #3

Too quick on the draw.

The smart play would have been to keep the dialogue flowing, inconspicuously letting her get more familiar with you. If she's interested, stay ambiguous about your interest until you can make a move in person. Don't get too friendly but also realize that a little friendliness is healthy between two human beings.

As it is, you don't look like a chump. You went for something forbidden, which is a sexy trait in a man despite the boring "I love this weather" angle. Still, the likelihood that she'll go through with a hookup with you is low, because it's obvious from the setup that she would be the "bad guy" in that situation.

The way you pull a girl away from her boyfriend is by making her like you more than him, without letting her realize that there's actually any competition going on. Competing for a girl makes her feel like she is the limiting factor. Unobtrusively showing her that you're better than her boyfriend makes her feel like she's locked into a relationship with a second-rate dude. See the difference?

Girls want to be able to blame the guy for what happens between them. It helps them rationalize their own actions. When you lay it out like "how bad r u" it's suddenly a question of her breaking the rules by cheating. What it should be, is a question of YOU breaking the rules by hooking up with a girl in a relationship. Hey, you never promised her boyfriend any sort of fidelity.

I had a girl follow me around at a frat party and get my number, then come back the next week to another house party without me suggesting it, just to see me. When I looked her up on facebook I saw multiple pictures of her and some chubby dude...her boyfriend. Ultimately I ducked out of the situation because some shit was going on in my life, but the point is this: if a girl with a boyfriend wants you, she'll refrain from mentioning her boyfriend, and in that situation it doesn't matter if she plasters her love for him all over bullshit social media. A woman's love is not necessarily meaningful, nor lasting. Girls say they love everything, and then they change their minds.

Also, ditch facebook. Get her number and text. There is too much readily-available information about you on facebook. This takes all the fun out of meeting you and getting to know you, and kills any favorable-but-incorrect assumptions the girl has made about your friendships and your lifestyle. Last Saturday, I looked a girl in the eye and told her I wasn't going to accept her friend request because I didn't want her to be able to look at all of my pictures. Later that night, we somehow ended up naked in her bed.

Post: #4

I hope to never again see a post similar to this. Is there not a forum for newbes here?

Post: #5

That was painful to read.

That exchange read like you were too afraid to ask her out, so you beat around it and prayed she'd connect the dots.

The good news is you can only go up from there.

I think you need to keep it real simple and get to the point.

Post: #6

Word. Thanks everybody. Merenguero, you're right I asked for her Facebook instead of her number. From now on phone numbers or nothing. polymath, you have tons of good points. Some of it seems more advanced than where I'm at yet, but I look forward to the challenges.
jariel, you're right I was afraid. I don't know why. I'll try to be simpler about it.

Post: #7

Don't be afraid. Asking for anything other than a number is a bit of a cop out. Its like there is a lower chance of her saying no if you ask for her email or Facebook.

if she doesn't give her number, she's not serious about seeing you again. If she was, she wouldn't jeopardise seeing you again by not giving her number. In which case, do you really want to waste time Facebook messaging such a girl?

Yesterday I asked a complete stranger on the street for her number after a chatting for a bit. She said "I don't think so".
i felt better being rejected than not asking for her number and wondering what if.
If I can do it, you definitely can.

Post: #8

Thanks, boywonder34. I'm making it my mission now to only go for numbers.

Post: #9

If I have yet to bang a girl, I will never interact with her on social media, for some of the reasons already mentioned. If a girl is interested in me, there should be no reason why she can't make herself available to hang out in person, at the very least giving me her phone number or WhatsApp account for the sole reason that we can set up the plan. It seems to me like this girl gave Facebook for the same reason that many girls give out their phone number without ever actually intending to meet in person again, that is, to give herself a way out of the interaction without having to overtly decline the OP. That it was an account with her boyfriend plastered all over it indicates that she doesn't see OP as a romantic prospect, because, as it's been said, if a girl is interested she will conceal that she already has a man.