Post: #1

So, my boy has been banging some random girl and I can tell that he likes her quite a bit. They're not dating, but he's the sort of guy who is planning to go officially with a girl once he starts banging her. They're out in L.A. for a family member's wedding. He's clearly very caught up.

Anyway, The girl he's hooking up with is known for being a home wrecker (ruined her best friend's marriage) and she even hooked up with another close friend of ours. I cannot confirm any of this, and I'm even inclined to mistrust the source of this information, but I would still hate for him to get shafted by this chick because he's already got his feelings all caught up already.

I realise I might do more harm than good by investigating and confirming these rumours, but He's my best friend and I'd prefer that nothing too crazy happens to him if I can help it.

Would you keep shut about this and hope that she's not who the others claim she is, or would you confront your best friend?

Thanks,

Fortis

Post: #2

I have tried to warn friends about girls who had all sorts of negative traits. I have never once found them to listen. These things are really something someone has to decide for themselves.

Letting him know about her past is one thing, but trying to convince him what course of action to take may just result in friction.

Post: #3

How old is your boy? If he's single, what difference does it make that she's a home wrecker? He has no wife and kids, no home to be wrecked.

Yes, chances are she's the sort of fickle slut that will up and leave him in six months. Is that so bad? The first time that happened to me, I was devastated. Couldn't go to work the next day. Spent the whole weekend on a friend's couch. After the first few times, it no longer stings and you say "I've seen this movie before"...she's a woman, of COURSE she's going to change her mind. You learn women aren't as constant as men, not as reliable, and to take them for what they are. You laugh about the fickle nature of women, and are thankful that, as a man, you aren't compelled by hormones and bad brain wiring to want something new every 5 minutes, to not be able to see anything worthwhile through to completion.

Is this such a bad lesson for him to learn?

Post: #4

It's good to look after your friend but it depends. Is he red pill or blue pill? If he is red pill then you should give him a heads up. If he is blue pill then it may be best to not say anything simply because he won't listen.

Post: #5

(09-01-2014 07:16 PM)Fortis Wrote:  So, my boy has been banging some random girl and I can tell that he likes her quite a bit. They're not dating, but he's the sort of guy who is planning to go officially with a girl once he starts banging her. They're out in L.A. for a family member's wedding. He's clearly very caught up.

I realise I might do more harm than good by investigating and confirming these rumours, but He's my best friend and I'd prefer that nothing too crazy happens to him if I can help it.

Would you keep shut about this and hope that she's not who the others claim she is, or would you confront your best friend?

Because you had written what I had bolded it sounds as if nothing is going to change his mind, and anything you say is just going to cause his resentment against you. He will make a bunch of excuses to justify this resentment, "oh, you're just jealous he has a steady gf" or "this one's different, she makes me better and she changed from who she was [2 weeks ago]"

Sorry bro.

Post: #6

(09-01-2014 07:41 PM)Old Fritz Wrote:  It's good to look after your friend but it depends. Is he red pill or blue pill? If he is red pill then you should give him a heads up. If he is blue pill then it may be best to not say anything simply because he won't listen.

Even if he is red pill, if he hasn't gone through this himself - dating a fickle slut who loves him today, someone else tomorrow - it's a FANTASTIC education into the ways of women.

Post: #7

Tell him. Some guys do listen. I did.

I mentioned on another thread about how a high school friend warned me about a girl who asked me to prom. He told me he'd heard she only asked me as a "placeholder" in case the guy she really liked didn't ask her.

He did end up asking her. And had my friend not said anything, I'd have probably not had a date for my senior prom, since it would have been too late to ask anyone else. I'd have gotten screwed over bigtime.

But thanks to my friend going out of his way to warn me, I not only didn't get burned, I got great prom memories and had lots of fun with the girl I did ask (including a nude hot tub party).

He did me a huge favor warning me. You should do you friend the same favor.

Post: #8

(09-01-2014 08:04 PM)The Father Wrote:  

(09-01-2014 07:41 PM)Old Fritz Wrote:  It's good to look after your friend but it depends. Is he red pill or blue pill? If he is red pill then you should give him a heads up. If he is blue pill then it may be best to not say anything simply because he won't listen.

Even if he is red pill, if he hasn't gone through this himself - dating a fickle slut who loves him today, someone else tomorrow - it's a FANTASTIC education into the ways of women.

Yeah, it's definitely a hard lesson alright.

OP, is your boy generally well sounded mentally? I like to believe in reformed individuals, but women generally don't let their ways go.

I'd let him learn the lesson, but do you think he'd be the type to keep trying to be in the relationship with her even if she cheats on him?

Post: #9

One thing I have noticed with men who start dating a girl they have banged a few times is this; they're not going to take your advice whatsoever. They're ignorant. Its what we here call beta, blue pill etc.

You can spot them easily. They pull a girl, get something regular then stop going out as often or not at all.

Its puppy love. They can't do any better.

Post: #10

(09-01-2014 07:16 PM)Fortis Wrote:  So, my boy has been banging some random girl and I can tell that he likes her quite a bit. They're not dating, but he's the sort of guy who is planning to go officially with a girl once he starts banging her. They're out in L.A. for a family member's wedding. He's clearly very caught up.

Anyway, The girl he's hooking up with is known for being a home wrecker (ruined her best friend's marriage) and she even hooked up with another close friend of ours. I cannot confirm any of this, and I'm even inclined to mistrust the source of this information, but I would still hate for him to get shafted by this chick because he's already got his feelings all caught up already.

I realise I might do more harm than good by investigating and confirming these rumours, but He's my best friend and I'd prefer that nothing too crazy happens to him if I can help it.

Would you keep shut about this and hope that she's not who the others claim she is, or would you confront your best friend?

Thanks,

Fortis

You have to let people fall for themselves sometimes. If he is actively pursuing her, and he knows the history, then he already has his mind made up.

I know some home wrecking broads have a way about themselves where they present themselves as cool awesome chicks to be around, until you dig deeper. Chances are he is seeing her as the cool chick that she is presenting herself as, and only experience will change his perception of these sorts of women.

So, what I guess I'm saying is, tell him what he's getting into, but don't be upset if he doesn't listen.

Some men need to figure shit out on their own, others live blindly to it. It's really a matter of time.

Post: #11

(09-01-2014 07:21 PM)Sonsowey Wrote:  I have tried to warn friends about girls who had all sorts of negative traits. I have never once found them to listen. These things are really something someone has to decide for themselves.

Letting him know about her past is one thing, but trying to convince him what course of action to take may just result in friction.

I think a better question to ask than "should I warn him?" is "how do I warn him AFTER the girl messes him up so he avoids those types in the future?"

I know a lot of guys who've been told to avoid crazy bitches like the ones they just dated, and been schooled in all the red flags, but they STILL keep going back to the same type.

So how do you tell a friend..."hey look, you learned you're lesson, now next time think a little before you play with fire" because in my experience, a lot of them really don't learn the lesson.