(03-15-2011 07:47 PM)Khaleth Wrote: Hey, I used to live with an Asian roommate when I lived in Toronto. He moved to Canada from China when he was was 12, and he used to talk about a lot of the same issues you have right now. I know this sounds pretty stereotypical, but he used to do Aikido to build up testosterone and earn some confidence. Everyone I know that practices martial arts (and is actually good!) has ridiculous confidence. I'm sure gmanifesto and fisto can agree. I think knowing that you can kick someones ass if a situation gets ugly would put you at ease in any uncomfortable situation in life.
If martial arts isn't your thing then maybe you need to get into sports or start lifting weights. I lift weights during the winter months and play soccer during the summer. Seriously, nothing cranks up my testosterone like horribly embarrassing another man with my soccer skills Haha...
Whether it is a testosterone thing or something cultural a lot of the Asian guys I know are usually pretty docile unless they actively choose to address it and improve themselves, but you can say the same thing about every race. Its important to realize in life when you have to be aggressive and when you have to be relaxed... and that goes for every man. Don't let stereotypes influence your thinking and if you are, at least focus on the good stereotypes... Haha Most asian guys I know have awesome jobs, dress well and usually have the rest of their life together. Use that as confidence in your dating life! Props to you for addressing something in your life you were unhappy with and wanting to change. Think of how many people lack the ability to even look at their life objectively and decide to better themselves. That's half the battle.
Anyways, hopefully this didn't come off like some racist rant or something and if it did then feel free to start bashing white Canadians Haha
Hey Khaleth!
Thanks for the pep talk bro. Your post helped lift my spirits.
No that's definitely not racist lol. And don't worry about racist taunts. That's something that I'm very relaxed about as I've heard it all before anyway.
Your comment about the security you feel when you know you can kick someones's ass makes a lot of sense.
Knowing you're not in physical danger most likely helps with inner-game I suspect which is a key cornerstone for success in this thing. It allows you to exude more confidence in interactions which is obviously going to help.
I find I naturally get this feeling of inner safety and ability to kick chumps' asses when I'm in a group. Or even with a larger friend who looks tough.
Side note: It may be a subconscious thing but I've found myself always on the lookout for large, tall wingmen. Like three of the last guys I've made friends with were because they were large and angry-looking.
This gives me a safety net to get more lively.
I mean I'm in total agreement with roosh's statements about the western world. Whilst on here they are seen as ok, I've said similar stuff in public and gotten a lot of disapproving looks. Let's just say I'm not a blind patriot.
That's more forgivable coming from a caucasian like roosh who is tall and a bit scary looking. But I'm a 57kg short ass asian so people would be a lot more willing to step up to me I gather. Hence, the neanderthal wingman/ bodyguard.
For that reason I've found myself more likely to get lmore spontaneous when I'm with a friendly group just because of the protection factor. (They don't need to be actual friends, just seen by others as friends).
With regard to your comment about martial arts and weight training.
That is good advice.
Yes I used to do that when I was younger.
I got quite ripped but I was pretty clueless about game (still am really, about the implementation rather than theory).
It didn't help me as much as I thought because I approached it the wrong way. I used building up my body as an ends not a means.
Instead of using it as an accessory to enhance game, I concentrated on bulking up as an endpoint.
At the time I was living with two real bona-fide gym junkies. It got to the point where I was really looking like an athlete with our constant gymwork and my natural low levels of fat.
But instead of using it as a platform to springboard from, I relied on it solely in my mind to get girls in bed. Like a friend's friend I heard of who bought a really flashy car and just expected women to jump in with their panties off with no subsequent effort.
Needless to say, it didn't work.
I mean in my head I just fell into all the media stuff about looking good equating to success with girls.
But as roosh once said in his blog there are a lot of good looking guys from college that strike out once they come across someone with knowledge about game.
Apart from getting girls to look and make eye contact and ogle me in the gym I didn't get much benefits. I suppose if I'd used it as a base instead of relying on looks entirely it would have helped.
But I thought if I tanked up to a certain level, no further hard labour would be required.
I mean it worked on tv, right?
Yep, I was a dunce.
I bulked up but still didn't have the heart to do approaches or go out at night. Total wimp, right?
A good thing about what roosh writes about is he keeps drawing parallels between hard grind and results. That's something not many other gurus spout. They want you to believe it's a certain formula or bunch of magic tricks. I guess that helps sell more packaged products than instilling in us that it's 90% about grafting and plodding through the muck.
It's good to know it's not all about talent and innate ability. That if you're willing to put in mileage then good things will come, as roosh preached.
I think I've learned that the hard way.
I pretty much stayed at home everyday and went to clubs about once every three years. Maybe in ten years I did 5 approaches.
My bang history is equally woeful.
There was an Ethiopian guy I met in Denmark who had a photo album of girls he'd been with that he showed me. He mentioned to me he'd slept with over 35 girls.
When he inquired about my total I told him I'd been with ..one girl.
I was 25 at the time.
He went silent and I was a bit embarrassed.
(If he knew about the old axiom that most guys multiply their alleged lays by three, I guess he was thinking I may have been a necrophiliac - having been with one third of a girl).
Not sure she even counted because she was just with me for other benefits.
The only lay I can really claim to is a Danish girl I met while hostelling in Germany.
Much as I was clueless about game and didn't do any approaching I was with three even more clueless guys in this dorm. An English medical student, an Indian IT guy (or that's what he claimed but the dorm was roughly $10 a night, when he said he made over 100k a year) and a fat but funny Mexican.
This girl had mentioned how she lived in a all-female dorm in her country so this was like 'heaven' for her.
Even to my ears, this was like hearing ' I need a man tonight'.
So I touched her knee and thighs a bit under the table and we ended up breaking off from the others.
After some kissing in the streets we ended up back at the hostel having sex. We tried to go up on the roof for privacy but it was closed. Then we dragged a mattress to the shower but it wouldn't fit.
So we ended up just fucking in the hallway.
It was pretty exciting for me because we could have been caught at any minute.
She gave me a blowjob and then I fucked her on the floor. It hurt my knees cos of the rough carpeting and I ended up just blowing my load all over the wall, while silently mouthing apologies to the cleaning lady.
I ended up fucking her the next night as well. When the lights went out she kissed me and whispered she'd sneak over later. We ended up having sex in a room full of strangers. The english med guy even woke up halfway through and sat upright in his bed but I just soldiered on.
I guess this is just a normal occurrence for the pua traveller but being a beta I was thrilled and began making every mistake in the book.
I really doted on her to the extent of making a massive side-trip out of my itinerary later on in Denmark just to fuck her in her small town.
Pretty desperate, right?
The sex was ok but I didn't feel good about rearranging a lot of my plans just to hook up with a girl.
An eight-year drought followed.
Yep, eight years.
It ended this year after I got motivated with some gaming tips from roosh and I think from another website.
Basically saying "don't go too direct with compliments etc."
Trust me, to a newb like me who'd never heard of this pua stuff, it was revolutionary.
I mean, my default approach before was "wow, you are really beautiful". Then nothing. No plan, no lively conversation. Just more compliments.
The girl would be flattered and it'd go nowhere.
Some even thought I was being sarcastic such were my overly eloquent odes to their beauty.
I did and I suppose still do hold girls on this towering pedestal.
But with roosh's help and this forum I hope to make a change, as Michael Jackson said.
Roosh says even an unemployed bum living in a basement with no job and no money can get girls if he's prepared to learn game and do a lot of grinding.
Yes, he exaggerates a wee bit. He may be officially 'unemployed' but I assume roosh makes a mint from passive income with the success of this site. And his speaking style and height give him some leverage.
But I'd still like to put it to the test.
For added difficulty add in being asian, and starting to discover game at 34.
PS. This forum is a lot more helpful than any other forum I've been on. I think partly it's roosh's skills at moderating the site to get rid of antagonistic anti-social elements and partly that roosh attracts a better class of contributor who get and appreciate his insights and intellectual honesty. Anyway I think I've praised roosh enough for a lifetime so I'm getting of his dick, now.