Post: #1

This is an issue that I'd like to get some more opinions of, especially from you guys who have gamed online quite extensively.

I've been getting back into online game (match, eharmony, okc). I write a 3-6 sentence creative intro message and sign my name. I sometimes get these very brief, one sentence responses and they don't tell me their name. I asked one person about this, they said these girls are curious about you, they're just waiting for you to take initative (as if opening them with an email wasn't enough initiative already?). Even a few girls on the paid site match.com are doing this. A few of the women on eharmony will give me their email address and ask me to contact them there "if you so desire". Should I bother responding to these brief responses, or just consider them attention whores and 'next' them?

Post: #2

Problem with the direct email is that she could actually be a scam account trying to get your email address. Decline that. Just say you aren't comfortable giving out an email until you've established she's for real.

3-6 sentences seems a bit much. Want to post an example of what you write? Girls don't want to read, they get an email and that's an invitation to look at your thumbnail, your username, click through to your profile, THEN maybe read the email.

Post: #3

I just pick some detail/topic out of their profile write-up, ask them a question about it/articulate on it/relate to it, sometimes with a bit of humor. Confident, light, curious, a bit humorous is the vibe I go for. I'm targeting attractive 23-27 year olds and the occasional hot 30something.

Post: #4

They're there to attention whore. I just move on to girls who give a warmer reception.

Post: #5

Yeah, see above. Invest less.

Post: #6

Do you guys recommend I write even shorter intro messages? Like 2-3 sentences only or just some real brief gimmick? Does it even matter very much what you write in the first email?

Post: #7

Yes, 2 sentences max. The intro message should seem effortless, and writing 4 sentences that ramble on just makes it look like you're trying too hard. That said, avoid generic openers like "hey what's up?" or "I liked your profile." You need to connect it back to the girl.

I go back and forth between asking questions and making statements with my opener. I haven't noticed a definite pattern.

Regardless, when I receive a short answer back from her, I try to keep my response at least as short as hers, if not shorter. One of the ways I do this is by replying with this symbol ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ when I get a short, cuntish answer.

Post: #8

Okay, I've got a realtime example now:

Me:

Hello there,

Marketing, communication, and dogs. What is this fascination with the Oxford comma? I stopped using it during university, but then recently started again, to create tension! Also, just curious, what are your favorite restaurants around town? Favorite ethnic dish?

Happy Tuesday!

blacknwhiterose


Her:

"My favorite restaurant...maybe two! haha. It's Joe's Seafood and Katsu Sushi I love seafood and authentic sushi."


WTF does this mean? Just one line. No signature. No question back. Attention whore? Semi-interested? How should I respond?

Post: #9

I usually just fuck it off and try someone else. If I make an effort at making the first move online, and they don't reciprocate, or even better ignore you like a rude bitch, then they weren't worth the effort. Sadly it isn't as black and white an area as it should be. I've had excellent initial messaging convos with girls online and they just fucking stop for whatever reason. In that case, I still just fuck them off.

Post: #10

(09-16-2014 10:07 PM)blacknwhitespade Wrote:  Okay, I've got a realtime example now:

Me:

Hello there,

Marketing, communication, and dogs. What is this fascination with the Oxford comma? I stopped using it during university, but then recently started again, to create tension! Also, just curious, what are your favorite restaurants around town? Favorite ethnic dish?

Happy Tuesday!

blacknwhiterose


Her:

"My favorite restaurant...maybe two! haha. It's Joe's Seafood and Katsu Sushi I love seafood and authentic sushi."


WTF does this mean? Just one line. No signature. No question back. Attention whore? Semi-interested? How should I respond?

Her grammar is poor, but she's giving you something to work with. Learn to ask questions that provoke more thought in a girl if you're worried about her using 2 sentences to respond back to your 4 sentences. I think you're overthinking this too hard.

Remember, the goal of online dating is to get them from online to in-person. You can do that with a terse girl. Here's an example of a conversation where we both hardly said anything but it ended in a number close.

Me: do you like front squats or back squats (she mentioned being a squat enthusiast in her profile [note my lack of grammar])

Her: front and to the side (she's clearly being facetious)

me: wanna make babies

Her: only if I can squat during

me: what's your cell.

Her: xxx-xxx-xxxx

The reason I posted this is to just demonstrate that you have to push through sometimes, even when a girl is being an idiot. Keep your end goal in mind: getting her from the online point to in-person. Hopefully This is helpful.

In general, I try to avoid bringing up things like restaurants, favourite bars, clubs etc. I think it's a bit too generic, unless you can use it to make a pointed statement.