Post: #1

For many years I thought I had to be a provider type. I was consistently frustrated because girls were putting me in the 'boyfriend' material category and making me wait and jump through hoops. I showed I had money, good family values, was stable and living in their area etc... All to get a much harder job of fucking them.

Now, I disqualify (in most cases) myself as boyfriend material. It has the effect of shooting down their defenses and hoops they want to have you jump through. For me it works. I'm okay if a girl wants a boyfriend. I won't supplication to her or her desires. I only play the roll of a lover anyway. If she won't have it, i still do it. If she really wont have it in the end, i click my heels so to speak in the wind and trot up hill for the next girl not wasting my time. There is quite a lot of scientific literature supporting this lover vs provider theory.

Anyone else have success or good results or experiences of playing the lover not the provider?

Post: #2

pertinent to thread -> /thread-36096-...#pid734117

Post: #3

This is really good. I noticed when I'm low energy (now sick) it's the worst time to pick up girls as I'm put into the provider non fun category. When feeling normal and high energy... not sick... I'm easily in their fun lover category. Good stuff and contribution to the thread. Gold.

Post: #4

(07-24-2014 04:18 AM)ilostcount Wrote:  For many years I thought I had to be a provider type. I was consistently frustrated because girls were putting me in the 'boyfriend' material category and making me wait and jump through hoops. I showed I had money, good family values, was stable and living in their area etc... All to get a much harder job of fucking them.

Now, I disqualify (in most cases) myself as boyfriend material. It has the effect of shooting down their defenses and hoops they want to have you jump through. For me it works. I'm okay if a girl wants a boyfriend. I won't supplication to her or her desires. I only play the roll of a lover anyway. If she won't have it, i still do it. If she really wont have it in the end, i click my heels so to speak in the wind and trot up hill for the next girl not wasting my time. There is quite a lot of scientific literature supporting this lover vs provider theory.

Anyone else have success or good results or experiences of playing the lover not the provider?

Best showdown of the dynamic:

Post: #5

Must watch
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=K9yUdzoah2s

Post: #6

^^^ That video is the kind of advice I really could have used when I was younger. It would have saved me so much confusion and trouble.

Post: #7

Dude come on....use the search man !

Post: #8

That video is gold! Liked how he explained the different modes. I've been everywhere on the category list except the last 3 k's. Mainly always R. But awhile a go I used to position myself as k-boyfriend as I thought that was what girls wanted. They always give lip service that that's what they want. I mainly reside in the r1, and r2, I sometimes go into r3.

Post: #9

This is partly the reason why I don't go to clubs anymore. I always end up getting shoved into the "provider" role at clubs and that high energy style he's using is exhausting. I can pull it off, but it's way too much sometimes.

I'd rather start in lover/clown mode and move into provider mode after a certain amount of time.

Post: #10

I think my first experience going for it is a good one to share. The first girl I pulled, I made my move after the second 'date' -(the first time it was a concert, the second time it was going to a bar with friends. This is where RVF's advice really came through for me. I was social, talking to other girls, people from other colleges, spending time with her in short intervals.)

It was the first time I faced LMR. She said she was more comfortable waiting till we knew each other better, and I said, "Listen, with me, sex isn't a bargaining chip. I know you well enough to know that I like you, but I just don't want to play games. Do you like me or no?" I made it clear that I couldn't be brushed off into some kind of orbiter role, but I was genuinely impatient and ready to leave, literally go back out there and find someone else.

To me this was the breakthrough moment. I could *see* her replaying the night over in her head, remembering the times when other girls were receptive to me. She understood that I could, credibly, pick someone else. If she went with it, then I could be the caring guy down the line.

In June, I won a $3000 Guaranteed NL Hold'em tournament on SportsBetting in June. I watched an obscenely aggressive player raise preflop every single hand, decided to call when I picked up Ace-ten. He had me covered, I called him down until the river, where he put me all in. It was a paired board, so I called, and doubled up.

On the final table, I called a three-bet with J-x, in position against the chip leader, who was dominating us. Again, I was put all in for my whole tournament, I called. On the river, I raised him, and got reraised all in.

And...

I called with jack-high, a missed gutshot straight draw. He had 10 8 for a worse busted straight draw (he was open-ended on the turn) and that gave me 50% of the chips in play. I made like 4 extreme hero calls that whole tournament, as in, calling down triple-barrel bluffs with air, then calling down that triple-barrel bluff PLUS the rebluff, and a few other big calls as well.

Sometimes you just have to go for it.

Ideally, it goes down like the RSD guys say. You get into a high-energy, emotional state, you're charismatic, you work up her buying temperature, pull her, and it works out well.

But I think that if she shows signs of putting you into the provider frame, you *put her to a decision* and go for it *right at that moment* with everything in place (it's late at night, she's already aroused, you know for sure she's attracted, you've shown value to other girls, etc). I'd suggest giving that exact line, word for word, a try.