lurker
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RE: "You are not allowed to love" - Feminist Mom Shocked That Her Son Is Int...
(07-19-2014 01:06 PM)Days of Broken Arrows Wrote: (07-19-2014 12:46 PM)lurker Wrote: Except for J Doe, did any of you actually read the article? It's about how she's scared for her sons because the idea of a rape culture means their actions will be prejudged as nonconsensual, even where the concept of nonconsent is ambiguous and impossible to teach.
This is as MRA as it gets; if anything, it's a prime example of a a woman realizing her chickens have come home to roost. It's the same eyeopener as the article by the lawyer mother with the son falsely accused of rape on campus a few months back.
Also, your title is as misleading as they come.
Her essay is unfocused and poorly-written. But I think you misread it.
She's saying we live in a rape culture world -- and if she's buying that crap, she's definitely not MRA. We've done posts on here talking about how sex crimes are fewer and they made it into an ROK article (if anyone has them, please post them here).
Here is part of her opening:
"That was before, before we understood we lived in a rape culture.
A culture of misogynist sexualization and violence against women has reshaped that talk in ways that make me incredibly sad and, at times, overwhelmingly angry because I am a mother to sons—only sons. I am a mother raising the “enemy”."
This is not MRA by any stretch. This is feminist paranoia, male hatred, and fear of men's sexuality.
Yes, it does step into MRA territory when she gets further along: "Sons, yes, love is wonderful BUT you are not allowed to love. Not wholly. Not without restraint. You must check your feelings at the door because every action you make as a male will be held against you. You are guilty until proven innocent, and are always on probation. It’s not your fault. Your purest intentions, your deepest respect for others, will simply not be enough."
But what got her there was the feminist's idea that "all men are rapists" so by the end, she sees her sons as potential victims of women's accusations because so many (anonymous evil) men are part of the alleged "rape culture."
What this woman does not do is make a crucial connection: she doesn't realize that her sons are not all that different than any other mother's sons.
In other words, she doesn't understand that lots of mothers have decent boys, and the anti-male hysteria drummed up on campuses is just that -- hysteria. She's both arrogant and paranoid to think it's only her sons who are the good guys.
If she's reading this, she needs to follow the money and realize that as violent crime plummets, the calls for a police state have heightened because the people whose jobs depend on stoking paranoia (like university feminists) need to justify their jobs and keep the government grants rolling in.
Did you miss this part?
There is a lesson on expectations and knowing where the lines are. NO MEANS NO. Clear (as mud). Concise (but not complete). NO MEANS NO is ambiguous because NO is a moving target, an ever-moving line that changes partner to partner, day to day, mood to mood. Where NO was yesterday, it may not be today. Where NO was ten minutes ago, it may not be now. How the hell do we teach our sons to read THAT map? I always remind them they have the power to say NO, too.
This is a lament of policies that have salted her own earth. She doesn't hate male sexuality as much as fear the repercussions her sons will face for expressing theirs. It's not the usual refrain of the feminist: "male sexuality imposes on me." It's a new one: "male sexuality is dangerous to males in the world I've created."
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| 07-19-2014 09:33 PM |
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The following 1 user Likes lurker's post:1 user Likes lurker's post
J DOE
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MrLemon
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RE: "You are not allowed to love" - Feminist Mom Shocked That Her Son Is Into Women
As my own children have grown, I've met plenty of women like this. They are frustrated at the dissonance between their own world view and the destruction being visited upon their sons.
This woman will never "figure it out" because she will never get the true point...her world view (Feminism) is fundamentally, at it's core, a lie. It always was a lie. History will brand it a lie. Her daughters and granddaughters will NOT thank her...they will curse her name.
She will go to her grave not understanding this. It's not my job to try to convince her, any more than it's my job to convince the crazy guy down the street that space aliens did not, in fact, beam mind-control rays into his head.
My job, and my son's and daughters job, is to live the truth, not to waste our time on those who can't see their own harsh reflection in the mirror.
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| 07-20-2014 04:07 PM |
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The following 13 users Like MrLemon's post:13 users Like MrLemon's post
Days of Broken Arrows, Saga, Benoit, anonymous123, Avon Barksdale, dies irae, Kingsley Davis, Tim in real life, Matt Forney, blairnaso, Xntrik, lowhead360, Master Of My Own Kingdom
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Benoit
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RE: "You are not allowed to love" - Feminist Mom Shocked That Her Son Is Into Women
Semi-related article that doesn't deserve its own thread:
#FaithFeminisms: Mamas, Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up to be “Allies”
Quote:But as my sons grow older, I desire for them to move beyond these basic proto-feminisms. I want them to identify structural inequalities and injustices, and be motivated to work towards making a more just world. I want them to understand privilege and recognize their own.
They are white, middle-class males*. The deck is stacked in their favor. They will be playing the game on the lowest difficulty setting there is.
I want my sons to be informed by feminism and intersectionality…but I do not want my sons to grow up to be “allies.”
See that "*" up there? Here's the footnote to explain it...
Quote:*I write this with the recognition that as they grow up, my children may realize that they are transgender or otherwise do not identify as male; and I also do not assume that my children will be straight. Naturally if they are not cisgender, heterosexual men, this will affect the degree of privilege that they carry; I only hope that I can have conversations about privilege and intersectionality with them as children that will be meaningful to their lives as adults regardless of their genders and sexualities.
I doubt any parent has ever had "conversations about privilege and intersectionality" that did anything but fuck their kids up.
She is telling her kids that they are the worst of the worst unless they either dress as women, cut their cocks off, or go homo. That is the only way they can lessen their burden of 'privilege'.
Trigger warning for author photograph, guess what she looks like from the author bio:
Quote:Abi Bechtel is a grad student, wife, and mom of three living in Akron, Ohio. She blogs sporadically and tweets about feminism, church, fat activism, and her cats as @abianne. She has a tattoo of Ursula the Sea Witch and the fashion taste of Miss Frizzle from The Magic School Bus
"I'd hate myself if I had that kind of attitude, if I were that weak." - Arnold
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| 07-22-2014 09:36 AM |
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DrewP
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RE: "You are not allowed to love" - Feminist Mom Shocked That Her Son Is Int...
I have a rule: To appreciate just how condescending rape culture hysteria is, take any feminist propaganda about it and replace "male" with "black" and "rape culture" with "crime culture." In this case it becomes:
(07-19-2014 07:49 AM)Flint Wrote: You are black. You have to pay for the sins of those who came before. You may not be the enemy but you look like him and so you will be treated like him until things change.
There's a quote that would go over well.
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| 12-13-2014 12:22 AM |
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The following 1 user Likes DrewP's post:1 user Likes DrewP's post
KofiKingston
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