Post: #1

TLDR You are at a bar table with 8 (7 girls) other people who you don't know at all, there is one person who you met a week ago but barely know, you cannot stand up and go speak to other people, you cannot isolate through moving away from the table. How do you play this?

So a couple nights ago I was put into this scenario, this girl introduced me to her circle of friends and they were at this bar/restaurant celebrating. I am introduced, there are formalities. What was I supposed to do from there? My frame is relatively well set and I am sitting there calmly with alpha body language. I am a foreigner, and they proceed to talk about events that have happened recently in their circle of friends and other things that I can barely relate to. I am being cocky funny and passing shit tests whenever the conversation comes my way, but this isn't happening regularly enough for me to be dominant. What ends up happening is that even though I can establish myself as alpha whenever I go one-on-one, because of the fact that we are sitting at a table in which I am not at the top of the pyramid, my status is that of a beta. During the entire time I am taking in my surroundings and maintaining a calm and nonchalant demeanor, I would have been happy with the situation in my pre-game days. Also, there was only 1 other guy at the table until around 90 minutes in when more people showed up.

So what was I supposed to do to become the focal point of the conversation? Should I have gone clown-mode (would have probably end up being the drunk annoying guy), started asking questions and trying to relate by dropping bait as if it were Day game? Even when I was injecting wit, I was getting a "you're funny, like a baby clown" reaction.

And the CMQ article of working a room isn't applicable, because there are no stragglers to befriend, you are a stranger being trusted into a tribe and are at the bottom of the totem pole.

Is this just a really shitty fishbowl?

Post: #2

"And the CMQ article of working a room isn't applicable, because there are no stragglers to befriend"

^Sounds like there was an entire table of strangers to befriend.

Did you think to open your mouth and open up a topic, or just sit there and hope the conversation came to you?

Post: #3

"Did you think to open your mouth and open up a topic, or just sit there and hope the conversation came to you?"
Haha, very good. I wasn't sitting there like a mime, the threads I introduced and questions I asked didn't go very far. That is part of the question, I suppose I'll just treat it as bs fest and never stop speaking.

"Sounds like there was an entire table of strangers to befriend."

No, stragglers not strangers. In the article the whole idea is how you build yourself up to alpha dog status by befriending loners at the event, everyone here already knows each other. In retrospect I should have built more rapport with the acne chick who was giving me IOIs at the beginning.

Post: #4

I'll defer to McQueen on this, but I think it's tough sitting at a table surrounded by a friend circle.

Post: #5

After introductions you have a precious few seconds to take control of whatever bullshit conversation these people were having without you.

1) If it's all girls, you can do the "Describe the girl to your left"
- is that what you really think about her
- I said your LEFT, not your right..

Standard bullshitting. Gets them to talk about themselves, but you're directing the action.

2) If it's a mixed set, then you do a "everybody huddle up, guys versus girls" and then you throw out a story, game, or an opinion opener.

The tech part is easy. You can google "group openers" and find all sorts of things.

The hard part?

Do you have the balls to push people around, to yell, to talk over people, to dismiss bullshit out of hand...

So in the guys versus girls, situation, sometimes you've got to shut down the big dog with some group shaming.

"The fuck you just say Tyrone? BANISHED. You're on the other side now"

Or "Y'all dumbasses believe that shit, I'm switching sides..."

^The lines and scenarios themselves aren't that important, the key is that you're directing the conversation, you're having the big reactions, you're calling out the reactions and ideas - so all eyes end up being on you.

That's really the key to this kind of game is knowing what you're trying to accomplish.

When you do, your stock gets raised with your girl, the other girls, and whole group gets rebalanced.

Depending on the situation, if you cut someone, you've got to rebuild them. (at least that's what I do)

So if you're mixed set involves a couple, and you cut one of the dudes for something, grab him and his girl and get them some drinks.

And ask him, "So when's the last time she paid for your Macallan?" This puts him in a positive light, her on the defensive, and can bring the 3 of y'all closer together.

On the way back to the group, you now have allies.

I'm at the point now where I don't need to dominate groups so much, but I can smirk, shrug, or do something non-verbal and the conversation leader will look to me and give me the floor.

As situations goes, getting control of a group is one of the hardest things to unlock, but once you do....

WIA

Post: #6

(07-10-2014 07:10 PM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  After introductions you have a precious few seconds to take control of whatever bullshit conversation these people were having without you.

1) If it's all girls, you can do the "Describe the girl to your left"
- is that what you really think about her
- I said your LEFT, not your right..

Standard bullshitting. Gets them to talk about themselves, but you're directing the action.

2) If it's a mixed set, then you do a "everybody huddle up, guys versus girls" and then you throw out a story, game, or an opinion opener.

The tech part is easy. You can google "group openers" and find all sorts of things.

The hard part?

Do you have the balls to push people around, to yell, to talk over people, to dismiss bullshit out of hand...

So in the guys versus girls, situation, sometimes you've got to shut down the big dog with some group shaming.

"The fuck you just say Tyrone? BANISHED. You're on the other side now"

Or "Y'all dumbasses believe that shit, I'm switching sides..."

^The lines and scenarios themselves aren't that important, the key is that you're directing the conversation, you're having the big reactions, you're calling out the reactions and ideas - so all eyes end up being on you.

That's really the key to this kind of game is knowing what you're trying to accomplish.

When you do, your stock gets raised with your girl, the other girls, and whole group gets rebalanced.

Depending on the situation, if you cut someone, you've got to rebuild them. (at least that's what I do)

So if you're mixed set involves a couple, and you cut one of the dudes for something, grab him and his girl and get them some drinks.

And ask him, "So when's the last time she paid for your Macallan?" This puts him in a positive light, her on the defensive, and can bring the 3 of y'all closer together.

On the way back to the group, you now have allies.

I'm at the point now where I don't need to dominate groups so much, but I can smirk, shrug, or do something non-verbal and the conversation leader will look to me and give me the floor.

As situations goes, getting control of a group is one of the hardest things to unlock, but once you do....

WIA

Brilliant. Fucking brilliant.

Post: #7

Just chill.

Post: #8

- talk to them all

- don't say stupid shit

- give the girl you like more attention with simple things like facing her more than others or engage her in the conversation more than others. if she's interested she will show you with giving you her her attention too and that's where you know you can stay with them all [here and later] until you can end up one on one with the girl.

- be cool with guys and don't try to actively out game them or - Think long term, be cool, do low risk things, and trust in the time factor. It's better to be 10% better than the competition in the loooong run than to be impressive for 15 minutes and lose it. And guys usually lose it at some point cause they either become too impatient and butthurt, get wasted and useless, and lose focus and give up. Start on the same level with them or slightly below and watch them crash along the way.

So just hold frame without forcing it to others aka chat chat chat, be fun to talk to, brush off subtle disses 'between the verses', don't get into arguments, when someone tries to prove him right too hard say "yeah, maybe.. anyway" and change topic, engage different people in the convo, make others talk to you by PLAYING THE JUDGE.

It's classic social circle game. Blend in nicely and stay cool consistently no matter what is happening.

PS. I hope I even understood your question but if I didn't then take what's useful and forget the rest