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Too abrasive
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thegiant Offline
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Post: #1
Too abrasive
This week 2 girls told me I'm too abrasive. One said I come across as an amateur, one said immature/insecure etc

I just recently broke up with my girl of 8 months who I was used to talking to however I want, no filter, basically treating her like shit (not out of nowhere, only when she deserves it of course)

Now I've been out gaming girls, but it seems like I'm being too aggressive. They all like my asshole game to a certain degree, but at some point I always take it too far

I was wondering where you guys draw the line. How much of your conversation (both texting and in person) is asshole game vs nice/friendly guy.

Being an asshole comes VERY natural to me, whereas I have to work and focus on being nice, I always thought of nice people as kind of beta.

Either way, pls give me some pointers cuz I realize I need to change something. I feel like I assholed my way out of a LOT of bangs this month. Thx!
06-08-2014 11:39 PM
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Virtus Offline
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Post: #2
RE: Too abrasive
We know nothing about you and what lead to these comments. There are levels of assholishness.. and aloofness. go read http://heartiste.wordpress.com for a bit.

"Virtus"
06-09-2014 02:40 AM
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Ardbeg Offline
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Post: #3
RE: Too abrasive
It's more an art than a science. Girls like asshole game, but (in my experience) they don't want an abrasive asshole 100%. For one, being around someone who is constantly abrasive is no fun. Women get excited when their emotions (both negative and positive) are stimulated.

If you thought both these girls were initially attracted to you, but they were turned off because of your abrasive nature, at least you know you can attract women. In the future, mix in a smile, a small compliment (esp. as a reward if the girl does something nice), and try to make things fun.
06-09-2014 02:46 AM
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Saweeep Offline
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Post: #4
RE: Too abrasive
Women like push-pull. You've got to keep them on their toes. Being an asshole 100% of the time does not achieve this.
06-09-2014 07:15 AM
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mbare Offline
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Post: #5
RE: Too abrasive
(06-08-2014 11:39 PM)thegiant Wrote:  This week 2 girls told me I'm too abrasive. One said I come across as an amateur, one said immature/insecure etc

I just recently broke up with my girl of 8 months who I was used to talking to however I want, no filter, basically treating her like shit (not out of nowhere, only when she deserves it of course)

Now I've been out gaming girls, but it seems like I'm being too aggressive. They all like my asshole game to a certain degree, but at some point I always take it too far

I was wondering where you guys draw the line. How much of your conversation (both texting and in person) is asshole game vs nice/friendly guy.

Being an asshole comes VERY natural to me, whereas I have to work and focus on being nice, I always thought of nice people as kind of beta.

Either way, pls give me some pointers cuz I realize I need to change something. I feel like I assholed my way out of a LOT of bangs this month. Thx!

As the others above said, you need more push/pull game. You already answered your own question to an extent that I put in bold. If they initially like your vibe, then get turned off it's probably because you do take it too far.

Being too nice is/can be beta. Instead of looking at it as being nice, try to make it more about being charming and fun once you tone the "asshole" game down. If you're in the States, and depending on where you live, girls are used to asshole game all the time. Not that it doesn't get their attention, but I think it can work against you to a certain extent. Let your alpha qualities show, but make sure it's blended with charm. Girls don't want to be around a guy who's a dick the entire time, any more than a guy wants to be around a girl who acts like a cunt 100 percent of the time.
06-09-2014 03:15 PM
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thegiant Offline
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Post: #6
RE: Too abrasive
Thanks for the advice fellas. I agree, but how does this relate to text game? A few girls got turned off by me being an asshole via text, and then later once they met me in person they warmed up to me. And some girls just don't wanna meet up at all. Isn't writing long, friendly, supplicating texts, which answer all her questions and leave no room for mystery extremely beta? It's not like I have enough time on my hands to be forever stuck in text hell with these bitches.
06-09-2014 04:10 PM
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Virtus Offline
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Post: #7
RE: Too abrasive
Is that a troll I smell??

"Virtus"
(This post was last modified: 06-09-2014 04:46 PM by Virtus.)
06-09-2014 04:45 PM
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