Post: #1

For a very long time, I have struggled with proper time management.

Everything I seem to want to do feels like a big obstacle.

Whether it was weight training, reading to expand my knowledge, studying for school, learning more on the side, playing guitar, whatever.

I look at the task, and I overthink. The best way is to just go out and get it done. The only thing that I have even a semblance of control on is weight training. But even with that, I still get a sense of a "helplessness". No control. And I cannot seem to be completely zen about it.

Some days are good, and I feel more free, and I'm in a better position to get work done. Many other days, I fall behind.

Here's how it feels. It is like everything is a big task. And there many things. Then I feel like I may not have enough time or the ability to complete those tasks. I end up zombie-ing about, not finishing anything. A lot of time passes by. It feels like setting up even two tasks for the day (say, cooking and gym) will fill up the whole day. I am not sure what happens, but it feels like there's nothing I can do about it. For e.g, I will feel like I can't learn extra math or how to code, because I still need to worry about my current math class, and then my other classes. Same thing with reading non-fiction. I can't seem to be able to juggle multiple tasks.

Notice how I said "feel" a lot. I think that the problem lies more in my thinking patterns. I need to change the way I think about my life and my time. My mindset needs to change!

Pavlina, and other self help writers, talk about how habits define you. So, I started small. I made it a point to be at the gym 2-3 times a week. I cut back on drinking, went 6 weeks without, and this time, it will be 8 weeks. I will likely try to push it a bit further, until my finals are over.

The other thing is I am just a college student in a STEM field. I am fortunate enough to not have to work this semester. My courses are hard, but there are people who work long hours, and pull straight As, still find time for the gym, and extra reading, and girls. I am doing barely any of that!

As it stands, I am behind on all of my classes. I always feel like I am nearing the finish line, and then I find that it got pushed further away, and I have been out of breath for the last few miles. I am eating better, but my diet is not as good as I want it to be.

I am **not** on autopilot. I wish I could get myself on autopilot, and just do what I need to do!

This needs to end. Now.

Any suggestions?

Post: #2

Firstly, I would accept the fact that everyone struggles with time management to some degree and it is part of being human. There is a balance to be struck between being on 'auto-pilot' and enjoying your life.

That said, I can understand your frustration. If I were you, I'd write a list of all the things I had to get done that day, every morning. Divide it up like this:
8:00-9:00, gym/ errands etc.
9:00-9:15, break
9:15-10:15 (whatever else you have to do).

If you organise your time in a regimented manner like this, then you can have the rest of the day to enjoy yourself once you've done everything that you have to. The most important thing with time management is resisting the initial temptation. When you are about to get started and have an initial urge to 'spend a minute on Facebook' or whatever, you have to really resist it, and not rationalise that you'll waste a second.

Post: #3

Don't forget to schedule "me time" ,,,it can be resting, doing a hobby etc. cut back on anything you feel is not useful and eat a well balanced diet.

Post: #4

Habit. Habit formation. There is no other cure. Habit formation = auto-piloting

I am guessing you know this already. As such, your problem is not knowledge, your problem is implementation. This is true for a lot of things in life. Even picking up women.

So, how do you establish habit formation?

You choose something that is easy to do, and then do it repeatedly, over and over again. To build the force of habit.

I dont care what it is. It could be anything. It doesnt matter. Just something that is easy, then setup a time for it, and repeat it everyday for a month. Every day.

Whenever you break this rule, start all over again. Repeat this until you generate complete consistency for a solid month. Trust me, if you cannot do something that is thoroughly easy, and do it everyday at a specific time for a month, you wont be able to do something difficult or complex at an allotted time, everyday, for a month either.

This is the key.

If you cannot be bothered to run this exercise, then you can simply forget it, because nothing will change.

The reason why most people fail in follow-through with their goals and objective is because they are trying to do two things at once: They are trying to (1) accomplish difficult tasks, and (2) they are trying to establish habit formation at the same time. This is why they fail. If you are not an already disciplined person, this multi-pronged approach(goals + habit) will task your willpower beyond its limits; hence, failure. Better to create habit -- as a foundation, and then slowly stack the difficult task on top of that strong foundation.

For example, here is some people's new year resolution: Go to the gym everyday, exercise for 2 hours, and eat healthy. Most likely, they will fail to accomplish this because they are trying to accomplish a difficult task and create a habit at the same time. That is why they fail after the initial enthusiasm has died.

How can they succeed? Simply this way: The first thing they should do is just go to the gym first and exercise, then after consistency with that; they should then increase the range of exercise and time to 2 hours... then, after consistency with that, change their diet. One step at a time. Instead of trying to do all 3 at the same time. Embedded in that is the subject of segmenting your task into mini-tasks. Also, doing your task at the same time, every day, creates a pattern, which builds momentum. Momentum is harder to stop.

This why it is paramount to focus on habit formation first. Set up an easy task, and went about doing it repeatedly to get into the groove of habit formation... this will give you the mentality to then be able to setup a difficult task and do it repeatedly. You lay the foundation, then build upon it.

Another thing is goal setting: If you think you can accomplish 3 things per day. Cut it in half and do 1.5 things a day instead... and do it consistently, day in, day out for a month. Do not go over and below that 1.5 things per day, regardless of how strong or weak you feel. This kind of consistency is critical. Be strict about it. I cannot emphasis this enough. If you are feeling like a million bucks and think you can take on the world and do 9 things that day, dont do it: stick to that pattern of 1.5 things per day. Why? If you can control your feel good moods and stick to a plan; you will be able to control your bad, lethargic moods and stick to a plan. This is the core of auto-piloting. This is mastery. This also trains your mental discipline and teaches you patience. Trust me, the day will come when you will be able to do those 9 things per day; you will eventually build to that level. One essential part of discipline is being able to tolerate those small baby steps. Be patient, and take your time.

regards,

Nemencine

p.s. a good book is called "the disciplined life" by richard taylor. (dated, christian; but effective.you are not interested in the christian preachings, but the lessons inherent in there.) I am sure you can find the PDF somewhere online.

Post: #5

I have felt this way before. The more that you have to get done, and the less that you do, seems to create more stress, and the mounting stress makes it hard to tackle the ever growing list, which causes more stress...

This is a vicious cycle. Remember this: stress is often caused by what we aren't doing rather than by what we are doing.

Some tips:
1. Become much more ruthless about going to bed earlier.
2. Start your studies much earlier in the morning, it will help you pick up momentum before any stress kicks in. If you procrastinate until late in the day, don't try to salvage the day if it is going to interfere with going to bed early (and starting early the next day).
3. Sometimes you will go through cycles where you are less productive. Learn to be OK with this and simply push to minimize these cycles, rather than prolonging them by beating yourself up.
4. Read "Getting Things Done" by David Allen. At the minimum it will be stress relieving for you to be reading about ways to improve productivity. At best you learn how to break large projects (e.g. a semester course) into small tasks that allow you to get positive energy flowing.
5. You may need to invest in some new friendships. Joining the nerd herd, even if you are of the jock variety, can result in positive study behaviors and habits rubbing off on you. This is important if you have a long road ahead of you in a quantitative discipline. Not nearly as important if you are studying something like sociology, psychology, political science, etc. Sorry to break it to you, but if you want to survive at math camp, you can't be on the same schedule as most majors and still thrive. It is a different level of commitment.

Post: #6

Find this book somewhere online and read it: http://www.amazon.com/Self-Discipline-10...1880115107

Post: #7

Come up with your easiest, most mindless task that you have to do. Then when you start to zombie, immediately switch to that task. Need to cut out the zombie time.

Post: #8

I can get very lazy sometimes, and here's what really helps me. Write down 3-5 categories each with 1 or two important goals for the day:

Today's Date
Personal: mail package to joe
Fitness: run long, stretch, go to bed by 10pm
Work: finish spreadsheet x, start presentation y
Career: update resume and send to z
Lessons learned: maintain frame

It's a to-do list which takes 5 minutes to create over morning coffee. I make it on a notes app on my computer that I check every day. Don't put down too much or it may look overwhelming. If I don't get to a task, no big deal (usually). If I'm done early or have time for more, I look at previous days to see if something didn't get done or for ideas on new tasks. Over the course of the day I'll check it a few times.

Over many days you can see what is important to you and what isn't. "Wow, I'm skipping lots of workouts, why?" or "I hate x and should think about changing to y"

Twice a year my boss makes me writeup accomplishments and goals. The work/career portions remind me what I did, and my writeups are TONS better than they used to be and have resulted in advancement, since my peers don't put similar effort into this task.

You can adapt the categories to school:

Today's date
Math - read chapter x
Biology - study for quiz on friday
Lit - read book y
Fitness - upper body workout, go to bed by x
Relax - visit store, go for a hike, whatever floats your boat

Good luck and let us know how you do with whatever you try.

Post: #9

solve your problems by posting about it on the internet

Post: #10

Easiest quickest solution to getting on top of this problem is you want to dedicate time to what you're interested. How are you able to do this in the easiest manner possible? Simple. Dedicate 10-20 minutes to it, daily or almost everyday. Eventually if it's something worthy of your time after a month you will crave doing it, like the gym or reading good books and you will do it for longer periods, 30-60 minutes or hours. Picking up women, 1 approach a day. Just 1 minimum! You can do it just to get it outta the way, and the results don't matter. Dude I've approached some chicks with that mindset and thinking they're not worth it only to be 100% wrong and come out rewarded for very little effort. The gateway is in starting small. Small steps.

Post: #11

Bumping because I came across the Nemencine post above and loved it. It's how lives are changed.

It's how started lifting regularly. I was already playing bball a few times a week. I started just lifting 2-3x per week, even if it was light and one set of a few exercises. If I went a week without lifting, no biggie, just get back to it.

I started lifting to feel good. I continue lifting to feel good. Boost T. Every RVFer says it's step 1. It's good for me. And I know it works.

Now, a year after starting this just make sure you're lifting somewhat regularly routine, I'm addicted to it. Yes, it took a year.

I make sure I go lift 3-4x per week, more intense. Actually started a workout routine for the first time ever. If I'd tried this a year ago I would have quit after a week.

I just went to the gym at lunch, shot the basketball, did some light leg lifts and situps, showered and back to work. I went to the gym and didn't do much.

Sometimes I do this, because I'm 'addicted' to going to the gym. I know I won't go later, and I want to at least go to the gym. I'll lift tomorrow.

Funny thing is, I feel like I have more time, even though I have less. I'm also playing bball more frequently, managing more time.

None of this was from goal-setting. It was all from habit-forming.

Another funny thing...now I'm goal-setting with my lifting.

Need to apply this to making independent income.

Post: #12

(06-05-2014 06:09 AM)Cyr Wrote:  That said, I can understand your frustration. If I were you, I'd write a list of all the things I had to get done that day, every morning. Divide it up like this:
8:00-9:00, gym/ errands etc.
9:00-9:15, break
9:15-10:15 (whatever else you have to do).

Has this worked for you? I've tried this many times in the past, and as good as it sounds on paper, for me personally this method has failed hard every time.

Post: #13

The key is not just habits, but developing an obsession with productive habits that improve your life and make you feel good. I split these into several categories: body, mind, girls, work/school/money. Over the last 2 years I'd say I've become obsessed with weight training. I've become obsessed with reading political and philisophical papers, with reading history and engaging in discussions. I'm not in a great position right now to become obsessed with my game but in 6-7 months I will be and I fully expect to develop that obsession.

You have to have a burning desire to develop a part of yourself to have the discipline to develop a habit. For example in my life, I've tried to develop the habit to wake up at 6 to have a head start on the day, but I never wanted it enough to wake up that early even one day. So I'd say the trick is to essentially develop such a burning desire for something that you are willing to get off your ass and work for it.

Everyone wants to have good game or be rich or be ripped, but only the people whose desires for these things literally keeps them awake at night will ever be willing to work for it.

Post: #14

(06-05-2014 06:25 AM)Nemencine Wrote:  p.s. a good book is called "the disciplined life" by richard taylor. (dated, christian; but effective.you are not interested in the christian preachings, but the lessons inherent in there.) I am sure you can find the PDF somewhere online.

Did anyone find this online? I'd like to read it.

Beyond All Seas

"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe.
To be your own man is a hard business. If you try it, you'll be lonely often, and sometimes
frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." - Kipling

Post: #15

Delete.

Post: #16

Thanks, Man. Yeah, those don't seem to work. I'd just buy the damn thing but it's only sold in paperback.

When will people learn... haha

Beyond All Seas

"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe.
To be your own man is a hard business. If you try it, you'll be lonely often, and sometimes
frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." - Kipling

Post: #17

BB, sorry, I really don't trust those sites, could be malware. Shouldn't have posted them. Sorry about that!

Post: #18

I am using this app now and its about the best I have found to build consistent daily habits;
coach.me

Building habits I have found are the only way to truly reclaim my life for myself, when I am under many obligations that zap my daily life.

Consistent habit making/keeping has sort of been a hobby of mine for a long time. The art of effectively tracking your daily activities, to build consistent habits. Its not easy, especially the busier you are. But if you can force yourself into habit, you can start to achieve anything.

My list now is this, that I try to check off everyday;
Morning Routine(30g protein, large glass cold water, 10 min meditation)
Floss
No typos
Read for one hour
write for 20 minutes
Exercise
No alcohol
Play guitar
Approach 1
Sex

The shorter the list, the more you can focus. In reality, I dont hit all of these everyday. If I wanted to get really serious, I would cut out most everything and only focus on 2-3 things, for 21 Days. I feel like if I can acheive 3 small daily habits, for 21 days straight, I will have a habit. My goal is hitting all of these everyday, but it doesnt really happen. Making a smaller daily habit list may be a good way to start to feel some control over your life if you are getting pulled in many directions.

Post: #19

Real talk I have the same issue.



Didn't Roosh himself make a post a while back about the simple task of just WRITING DOWN YOUR ERRANDS the night before doing a great service to you?


I'm going to start doing that................once I get over this job hump. I'm a recent grad, and find it almost impossible to manage my time with a full-time job + commute eating up the majority of my day.