Post: #1

So I met some dude at an expat's meeting the other day, and the way he talked to me really got me thinking.

I basically said hello on my way out, and he basically turned on this try-hard, jokey personality that would probably have been fun if he had a different look (he was middle-aged, wearing a work suit) or we had more time to get acquainted. As it was, it felt very try-hard and forced.

So I started thinking, do I come across as that to people I have just met (especially girls). I like to think I have a warm personality, I am often the leader in a group and people seem to naturally want to follow my direction in a social group. Not bragging, this was hard work because I wasn't at all like this a few years ago.

Let's say I'm organizing an event and I know there are going to be men and women there. How soon do I turn on the cocky-funny and charm because it looks like turning it on too soon wouldn't work because people may think it is try-hard?

If anyone has any tips for this topic, it would be awesome to hear.

Post: #2

From the jump.

It's a way of life. I can't turn it off. It's who I am.

This is maybe where you are going wrong.

Post: #3

I also think it's the way I am, but I do have a more subdued personality at times, for example at work or at formal events. However, there, I find it hard to transition into my more relaxed, funny self.

I don't want to come on too strong, too early I guess so I'm looking for advice on when to transition from a normal, not dour personality into my funny self and not appear clownish. I'm thinking that I'm turning off people as well when I'm cracking jokes right away after I meet them. Some love it but some don't want to keep in touch with me. I'm looking to reduce the percentage that don't want to keep in touch with me.

Post: #4

If it sounds forced, then it's probably not working.

To make it not sound forced, you have to do more than turn it on, you have to be in a C&F mindset 24/7.

You have to see the world for the joke that it is, cruel and absurd.

....But you also don't have to adopt Cocky and Funny to draw people in, as you already know, since you've already been a leader in your regular life.

Indeed, I find in non-game settings, say the office, the person that's always cracking jokes is kind of annoying. And though the jokes might lighten the mood, very rarely does the Kevin Hart/Dane Cook/Amy Schumer induce that side splitting belly laugh that they so desperately crave.

WIA

Post: #5

Exactly like the gents above said. 24/7 365

Live and breathe it....that is, if it's your things. Some people aren't comfortable with it, some live by it.

Post: #6

It depends:

If your personality is "cocky and funny" then right away, its just the way you are.

If your personality is not "cocky and funny", then never.

Post: #7

Right away, says Roissy:

http://heartiste.wordpress.com/2014/06/0...ight-away/

Post: #8

My knee jerk reaction is to say "immediately" as well.

The only caveat that no one else has mentioned is that you should wait until the girl qualifies or proves herself in some way that she's worth it, before flipping the switch. By having it on all the time, you're putting women on a pedestal, including those that don't deserve it.
.

Post: #9

I'd say immediately as well.
First impressions count for a reason, and we all judge the people around us.
If you'e unable or unwilling to commit to the performance from the word Go, then you're better off not trying to put on the front because otherwise you will be sussed.