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Timing for asking her number
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turuk Offline
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Post: #1
Timing for asking her number
Hey guys, last week I was in a coffee shop. I was looking for a power plug for my laptop.

There was this Thai girl, a solid 9, seeing me looking for a power plug. She waved at me and told me there was a power plug next to her. I'm new at pick up and a shy guy. I'm doing good with 7's and below but get nervous with hotter girls.

So I'm sitting next to her, she asked me "you are that guy I saw earlier right?". I said "I'm not sure, it could be, I have been here more than once". Obviously she noticed me before. She wanted to create some conversation and we did but because I was kind of stunned the conversation couldn't get off the ground the way I wanted.

Despite of major display of beta charachteristics, she still was very warm to me and offered me coffee when she only knew me for 20 minutes. After 2 hours or something I had to go. She pulled out her phone and I wanted to ask her number, but I waited to long, when she said "good bye" I felt kind of awkward to ask her number so I said "good bye" too and I left.

Roosh says in his books that you have to ask her number at the end of the interaction. I kinda f-ed this up because I waited for the perfect moment. Would you guys advice to ask her number for example in the middle of the interaction?
05-29-2014 07:35 AM
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Handsome Creepy Eel Online
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Post: #2
RE: Timing for asking her number
Exactly so.

Like with timing the kiss during a date, it's often better done sometime in the second half when things are progressing well, than at the end where undue stress or unfortunate circumstances might be involved.

Don't worry, you'll get more opportunities Smile

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(This post was last modified: 05-29-2014 07:41 AM by Handsome Creepy Eel.)
05-29-2014 07:40 AM
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AntiTrace Offline
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Post: #3
RE: Timing for asking her number
Couple tips:

1. Have something on your computer to get her opinion on. I'm constantly running projects and will can use it to start a conversation or keep one going. I'll normally pull up a couple logos or flyers I've been working on and ask her which one she prefers. Then I go further into it, why did she like that one more, what jumped out at her about it, does she understand the purpose of the flyer, etc.

2. DO you work and don't be afraid of silence. But take breaks. If she's sitting next to you, open up a tic tac toe game or something. Nudge her (initiate contact), and turn your laptop towards her. Tell her you need a quick break from working. Play a game or best out of three, chat for a 5-10 minutes. Go back to work.

3. Figure out where else she goes. Ask her about her favorite coffee shops in the area. Figure out when she goes to them. Its intel man, intel. If you don't get the number then for any reason, you can probably run into her again sometime if you frequent the same places.

4. Don't be ashamed of asking for her number. Pull up your add new contact screen, and slide the phone over to her. It's simple. Bitches give phone numbers to guys who have only messaged them 4-5 times on a dating website.

5. She bought you coffee? Heres your line as shes leaving.

"Thanks for the coffee, the next ones on me. Put your number in my phone"

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05-29-2014 07:48 AM
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turuk Offline
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Post: #4
RE: Timing for asking her number
(05-29-2014 07:48 AM)AntiTrace Wrote:  Couple tips:

1. Have something on your computer to get her opinion on. I'm constantly running projects and will can use it to start a conversation or keep one going. I'll normally pull up a couple logos or flyers I've been working on and ask her which one she prefers. Then I go further into it, why did she like that one more, what jumped out at her about it, does she understand the purpose of the flyer, etc.

2. DO you work and don't be afraid of silence. But take breaks. If she's sitting next to you, open up a tic tac toe game or something. Nudge her (initiate contact), and turn your laptop towards her. Tell her you need a quick break from working. Play a game or best out of three, chat for a 5-10 minutes. Go back to work.

3. Figure out where else she goes. Ask her about her favorite coffee shops in the area. Figure out when she goes to them. Its intel man, intel. If you don't get the number then for any reason, you can probably run into her again sometime if you frequent the same places.

4. Don't be ashamed of asking for her number. Pull up your add new contact screen, and slide the phone over to her. It's simple. Bitches give phone numbers to guys who have only messaged them 4-5 times on a dating website.

5. She bought you coffee? Heres your line as shes leaving.

"Thanks for the coffee, the next ones on me. Put your number in my phone"
Good tips, thanks! Sometimes I feel so disorientated. About she buying me coffee. She offered me coffee but I already had coffee in my cup so I thanked her and declined.
05-29-2014 07:54 AM
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heavy Offline
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Post: #5
RE: Timing for asking her number
Great experience with a 9 regardless of how it turns out. It's those moments you kick yourself (usually with girls just out of your self-limited range) that help the most...you learn where you screwed up.

You hung in there 2 hours...nice.
You'll get the # next time (with her or another chic).
You'll probably not get it in the perfect normal end of convo time (ie you'll screw up again, but at least you'll have her #)

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(This post was last modified: 05-29-2014 08:01 AM by heavy.)
05-29-2014 07:58 AM
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Saweeep Offline
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Post: #6
RE: Timing for asking her number
Don't worry young grasshopper; you will get the timing thing with experience.

As you do this more and more you will just know when the time is right.
05-29-2014 08:34 AM
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turuk Offline
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Post: #7
RE: Timing for asking her number
(05-29-2014 07:58 AM)heavy Wrote:  Great experience with a 9 regardless of how it turns out. It's those moments you kick yourself (usually with girls just out of your self-limited range) that help the most...you learn where you screwed up.

You hung in there 2 hours...nice.
You'll get the # next time (with her or another chic).
You'll probably not get it in the perfect normal end of convo time (ie you'll screw up again, but at least you'll have her #)

I hang in there for two hours but I was working on my laptop and she was doing most of the talking. I did fine but I f-ed up at the end waiting for the perfect time to ask her number.
05-29-2014 08:38 AM
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polymath Offline
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Post: #8
RE: Timing for asking her number
Don't overthink it. Timing is hard to judge, except in retrospect. The end of a conversation isn't always clearly predefined. Just go for it, lest the opportunity pass.

You could've gotten her number immediately after she waved at you and told you where there was a power plug. "Hey, I'm gonna call you next time I'm looking for a power plug. *hand your phone over to her*" Then converse as usual. Sociable girls give their numbers out to a lot of people, you don't have to be Johnny Suave to get it without hurting the interaction. As long as you show your confidence, any time is the right time.

Don't be afraid to fuck up. You pretty much can't fuck up by asking for a phone number. If she doesn't give it to you, you never had anything anyway.

For example, when she's leaving,

Her: "Goodbye."
You: "Hey, one last thing before I go. Give me your phone number."
05-29-2014 03:25 PM
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AneroidOcean Offline
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Post: #9
RE: Timing for asking her number
(05-29-2014 08:38 AM)turuk Wrote:  I hang in there for two hours but I was working on my laptop and she was doing most of the talking. I did fine but I f-ed up at the end waiting for the perfect time to ask her number.

Your "beta tendencies" are actually not that bad in this situation. She's being very open and nice and it's a relatively quiet/chill environment so it's actually fairly congruent. The best thing to do in this situation is get her laughing and engaged in the conversation and it appears she was pretty engaged despite your lack of experience/shyness.

Here's what I would've done in this situation if it had progressed to the goodbye point and you'd already walked away.

I'd have pulled my phone out, put it in the new contact screen, and turned around, walked right back in, and told her "hey, I forgot something" and as she looks around to see what you might've left behind or asks you, "what?" I'd have said "your phone number, I'm taking you out this week."

While timing is key in many situations, the only totally wrong timing is when you have no ability to go back and talk to her because she's gone.

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05-29-2014 03:26 PM
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Giovonny Offline
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Post: #10
RE: Timing for asking her number
(05-29-2014 07:35 AM)turuk Wrote:  She pulled out her phone and I wanted to ask her number

That is the moment you should have asked for it.

(05-29-2014 07:35 AM)turuk Wrote:  so I said "good bye" too and I left.

You still could have asked her.

As she was walking away, you could have said "excuse me, one more thing, do you wanna exchange numbers or something"

You knew the right moment to ask, you just didn't take action.

Next time, you will do better.
05-31-2014 12:24 PM
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Post: #11
RE: Timing for asking her number
(05-29-2014 07:35 AM)turuk Wrote:  Would you guys advice to ask her number for example in the middle of the interaction?

Doesn't matter whether it's the middle or the end of the interaction. What matters is how open the girl is about seeing you again. You talk about seeing each other again for a bit and pay attention how she reacts. If she's willing you can take it now or later. Whatever.
05-31-2014 03:48 PM
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turuk Offline
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Post: #12
RE: Timing for asking her number
(05-31-2014 03:48 PM)XXL Wrote:  
(05-29-2014 07:35 AM)turuk Wrote:  Would you guys advice to ask her number for example in the middle of the interaction?

Doesn't matter whether it's the middle or the end of the interaction. What matters is how open the girl is about seeing you again. You talk about seeing each other again for a bit and pay attention how she reacts. If she's willing you can take it now or later. Whatever.

Yes, that is a very good point, just throw it in there as a bait to see if she nibbles.
05-31-2014 07:14 PM
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turuk Offline
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Post: #13
RE: Timing for asking her number
(05-31-2014 12:24 PM)Giovonny Wrote:  
(05-29-2014 07:35 AM)turuk Wrote:  She pulled out her phone and I wanted to ask her number

That is the moment you should have asked for it.

(05-29-2014 07:35 AM)turuk Wrote:  so I said "good bye" too and I left.

You still could have asked her.

As she was walking away, you could have said "excuse me, one more thing, do you wanna exchange numbers or something"

You knew the right moment to ask, you just didn't take action.

Next time, you will do better.
I know I could have asked her. I had that in my mind too but for some reason I couldn't utter the words. Or more precisely form the sentence. I'm a retard like that sometimes.
(This post was last modified: 05-31-2014 07:17 PM by turuk.)
05-31-2014 07:17 PM
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Post: #14
RE: Timing for asking her number
(05-31-2014 07:17 PM)turuk Wrote:  I know I could have asked her. I had that in my mind too but for some reason I couldn't utter the words. Or more precisely form the sentence. I'm a retard like that sometimes.

You might want to do some "mental visualization".

Replay the interaction in your mind. See it happening all over again.

Rehearse this type of situation again so that you are ready for it next time.

Develop a few "number closing" lines that you are comfortable using. Here's a few just to give you an idea..

"we should grab drinks some time, whats your number?"
"want to exchange numbers"
"hey can I take your number"


Something like that.

Next time, you will be ready.

Try that "Visualization" stuff. It has helped me in sports and pick up.
(This post was last modified: 06-03-2014 11:10 AM by Giovonny.)
06-03-2014 11:08 AM
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turuk Offline
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Post: #15
RE: Timing for asking her number
(06-03-2014 11:08 AM)Giovonny Wrote:  
(05-31-2014 07:17 PM)turuk Wrote:  I know I could have asked her. I had that in my mind too but for some reason I couldn't utter the words. Or more precisely form the sentence. I'm a retard like that sometimes.

You might want to do some "mental visualization".

Replay the interaction in your mind. See it happening all over again.

Rehearse this type of situation again so that you are ready for it next time.

Develop a few "number closing" lines that you are comfortable using. Here's a few just to give you an idea..

"we should grab drinks some time, whats your number?"
"want to exchange numbers"
"hey can I take your number"


Something like that.

Next time, you will be ready.

Try that "Visualization" stuff. It has helped me in sports and pick up.
That is great advice. Where did you get it from? From Roosh?
06-05-2014 08:59 PM
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