Post: #1

This girl I see in the coffee shop on a regular basis. She's studying for the MCat to get in med school. I got her number the other day under the auspices of " I want to keep up with you and see how you end up doing on the test"...but I combine our talks with some kino/etc.

Last week when I got her number...she kept looking like she wanted me to approach. When I sat down to talk to her she was talking a lot and laughing some. A good convo.....though she's never asked me the first thing about myself. So I left thinking it was a good interaction and that I would wait to ask her out until after her test which was still over a week away. I never texted her after I got her number nor called....not yet at least.

So...today I go in the coffeeshop and she's there. She ignores me as she writes and types on her computer. I walk by her table on the way to get sugar for my coffee and say 'hey what's up." She kind of looks at me squinting her eyes ....smiles and says "hey" I just got not a great vibe so...I just got my sugar and sat down. I'm actually still sitting here and she's across the way...she hasn't glanced at me once.

Does she resent giving me her number? Does she resent she gave it to me and I haven't texted her since I got it? I will give her this....she does have the big test a few days away and is furiously studying and writing as I type....so I know she's got this on her mind. I'm wondering if I went for the number too early. I'm also wondering if I should have just asked her on the date last week. My thinking was she probably would want to finish her big test first before going on a date.

Oh well, I'm going to try a quick chat on the way out and see how it goes. But I'm so far getting "closed energy" at this point.

Post: #2

(05-13-2014 09:38 AM)robreke Wrote:  This girl I see in the coffee shop on a regular basis. She's studying for the MCat to get in med school. I got her number the other day under the auspices of " I want to keep up with you and see how you end up doing on the test"...but I combine our talks with some kino/etc.

Last week when I got her number...she kept looking like she wanted me to approach. When I sat down to talk to her she was talking a lot and laughing some. A good convo.....though she's never asked me the first thing about myself. So I left thinking it was a good interaction and that I would wait to ask her out until after her test which was still over a week away. I never texted her after I got her number nor called....not yet at least.

So...today I go in the coffeeshop and she's there. She ignores me as she writes and types on her computer. I walk by her table on the way to get sugar for my coffee and say 'hey what's up." She kind of looks at me squinting her eyes ....smiles and says "hey" I just got not a great vibe so...I just got my sugar and sat down. I'm actually still sitting here and she's across the way...she hasn't glanced at me once.

Does she resent giving me her number? Does she resent she gave it to me and I haven't texted her since I got it? I will give her this....she does have the big test a few days away and is furiously studying and writing as I type....so I know she's got this on her mind. I'm wondering if I went for the number too early. I'm also wondering if I should have just asked her on the date last week. My thinking was she probably would want to finish her big test first before going on a date.

Oh well, I'm going to try a quick chat on the way out and see how it goes. But I'm so far getting "closed energy" at this point.

As for what you should have done, I'll leave that to the other guys on the forum because many of them know much more than me.

However, instead of thinking about being caught up on the past (and also being caught up on this one girl), you can think about the upcoming week and your plan of attack. I would suggest setting up drinks for after the exam. Either shoot her a text and say, "How's drinks at XYZ on (Day of the week)?" If she's not interested she'll shoot you down. If she is, she'll agree and you'll give her a time OR she'll suggest a better date that works for her. From there, run the First Date Bang Recipe. If you still run into her a lot, you can make these plans in person. But keep it short. Save the conversation for your date.

As aforementioned, I'd suggest giving multiple responses a read before deciding what to do.

-Renberg

Post: #3

You're thinking too much into it. She gave you her number and that's a good sign. Maybe joke around about how serious she looks and just talk to her.

Girls have a lot of shit going through their head at a given time. Maybe she has a test, maybe she just lost her puppy, or maybe dancing with the stars didn't turn out the way she would have liked. Who gives a fuck, as none of those things may have anything to do with you since she barely knows you.

Point is talk to her as she was interested enough to give you the digits.

Post: #4

After next week, I don't think you'll see her for a while.
If she's studying for this one test in that coffee shop, why the fuck would a young girl hang around again when she has no exams to study for?

If she's still there, I want you to go up to her and do what Renberg said. But in person, go up to her, ask her how it's going and maybe you two should go for celebratory drinks after the exam.

No matter what she says after, leave.

Post: #5

(05-13-2014 09:52 AM)CarCrashKid Wrote:  After next week, I don't think you'll see her for a while.
If she's studying for this one test in that coffee shop, why the fuck would a young girl hang around again when she has no exams to study for?

If she's still there, I want you to go up to her and do what Renberg said. But in person, go up to her, ask her how it's going and maybe you two should go for celebratory drinks after the exam.

No matter what she says after, leave.

Actually...last week when I got the digits she made a point to mention that she would be in the coffeeshop after her test filling out medical school applications and she said "so I'll be around" which I picked as another good sign as she was dropping that she'd be out and about. I was thinking of waiting to ask her in person next week after the exam when we can chat about how the test went and it's over.

I know I'm over thinking. I need to work on my 'sensitivity' Though..I feel I've always been good at reading people's demeanor...in that sense...I hate to say it...but I almost have 'female' intuition and sensitivity. Last time I checked though...my T levels were just fine lol.

Post: #6

(05-13-2014 09:57 AM)robreke Wrote:  

(05-13-2014 09:52 AM)CarCrashKid Wrote:  After next week, I don't think you'll see her for a while.
If she's studying for this one test in that coffee shop, why the fuck would a young girl hang around again when she has no exams to study for?

If she's still there, I want you to go up to her and do what Renberg said. But in person, go up to her, ask her how it's going and maybe you two should go for celebratory drinks after the exam.

No matter what she says after, leave.

Actually...last week when I got the digits she made a point to mention that she would be in the coffeeshop after her test filling out medical school applications and she said "so I'll be around" which I picked as another good sign as she was dropping that she'd be out and about. I was thinking of waiting to ask her in person next week after the exam when we can chat about how the test went and it's over.

I know I'm over thinking. I need to work on my 'sensitivity' Though..I feel I've always been good at reading people's demeanor...in that sense...I hate to say it...but I almost have 'female' intuition and sensitivity. Last time I checked though...my T levels were just fine lol.

That is good that she's showing interest. So jump on it, directly schedule a date and call it a night. You're not asking her to prom; no need to put on a show. Be cool and collected, and take care of business. But if it gets to the point where you go to the coffee shop and she's not there, don't start planning your schedule around seeing this chick. Just text her.

Post: #7

(05-13-2014 09:57 AM)robreke Wrote:  I feel I've always been good at reading people's demeanor...in that sense...I hate to say it...but I almost have 'female' intuition and sensitivity. Last time I checked though...my T levels were just fine lol.

Intuition is not female, it's an attribute, and one could even say power, of the "feminine". The former is a gender, the latter is metaphysical. Though it's no coincedence women embody the feminine and men the masculine, each gender does have aspects of the other, some more so.

Intuition, Feelings, Instincts, One's gut...these are ways to describe the feminine and nothing to be ashamed about it, in fact it's something that should be developed within a person.

I think it's the buddahist's that say, "Learn to think with your gut".

It's easy to feel, it's more difficult to stay in them while at the same time thinking about them, analyzing them, questioning them, where they came from, what they are telling you, trying to convince you of. etc.

Doing this won't tell you much about her, but provide you with volumes about yourself, and human nature in general.

Post: #8

I talked to her on the way out. She told me she was "freaking out" and she didn't do good on the most recent practice test. So maybe that explains her demeanor. When we talked she chatted a few minutes and threw in a smile and laugh. She wasnt her usual real talkative self and after a few minutes sensed she was ready to get back studying as she was glancing at her computer screen toward the end. Ill just ask her out when I see her next week either in person or text once this pressure is off. Btw....she was scratching her neck and shoulder some when we spoke....what does that usually mean?.....was I making her nervous?

Post: #9

Sounds like she has a lot on her "shoulders" right now.

I'm not sure about the neck. There's the expression about one's neck on the line, sounds like she feels hers is. There's also the expression, "Something caught in one's throat", which would imply there's someting she wants to say or holding back.

She's shouldering a lot of stress right now. Is it because you approached her? Probably not. She's just expressing her current state.

If this were to happen on a date after you've been in a relationship for a while, then I would be concerned.

It's good you're picking up on these things. When we get comfortable in a relationship we tend to stop looking or even wanting to see them.

Post: #10

(05-13-2014 09:38 AM)robreke Wrote:  This girl I see in the coffee shop on a regular basis. She's studying for the MCat to get in med school. I got her number the other day under the auspices of " I want to keep up with you and see how you end up doing on the test"...but I combine our talks with some kino/etc.

Last week when I got her number...she kept looking like she wanted me to approach. When I sat down to talk to her she was talking a lot and laughing some. A good convo.....though she's never asked me the first thing about myself. So I left thinking it was a good interaction and that I would wait to ask her out until after her test which was still over a week away. I never texted her after I got her number nor called....not yet at least.

So...today I go in the coffeeshop and she's there. She ignores me as she writes and types on her computer. I walk by her table on the way to get sugar for my coffee and say 'hey what's up." She kind of looks at me squinting her eyes ....smiles and says "hey" I just got not a great vibe so...I just got my sugar and sat down. I'm actually still sitting here and she's across the way...she hasn't glanced at me once.

Does she resent giving me her number? Does she resent she gave it to me and I haven't texted her since I got it? I will give her this....she does have the big test a few days away and is furiously studying and writing as I type....so I know she's got this on her mind. I'm wondering if I went for the number too early. I'm also wondering if I should have just asked her on the date last week. My thinking was she probably would want to finish her big test first before going on a date.

Oh well, I'm going to try a quick chat on the way out and see how it goes. But I'm so far getting "closed energy" at this point.

As someone who has gone through the MCAT, let me tell you, the week before MCAT is by far the worst. You start to panic, doubt yourself, pore over practice tests, materials, and grasp at straws. No question she's probably going through the same thing. Her mind is for sure 200% on MCAT right now, and drinks before the test happens is probably no-go. After I finished the MCAT, I collapsed and slept for about 14 hours.

Text her after she's done with the test, your chances will be much better.

Post: #11

You gotta remember what kind of girl this is. If she is taking the Mcat to get into med school let's just assume she is serious about her career, which means she is going to care less about your life by default. Right now, her career is her first priority, so when she seems preoccupied take that with a grain of salt.

Also, keep your frame super light-hearted. If this girl is as stressed as she sounds be the opposite.

I would just let her deal with her shit, then text her at my convenience later and ask her how her test was, and follow it up with something like, Let's celebrate. Drinks at the prohibition bar.

As for the scratching, I wouldn't read too much into it unless you see it again. If she is spending hours staring at her screen she might just need a good scratch.

Post: #12

To be honest, I don't think it's going to work

It's summer. Girls that are not furiously studying for tests like SAT's, LSAT's or MCAT's need cock ASAP and the window of opportunity should be 1-3 days of meeting or they'll forget you quickly ,

the most ideal date should be the first day, insta-date. If you wait a week, she'll lose that spark soon. However, this girl is stressed out! let her breath, just imagine you during college finals times 20! Call next week and say you want to grab drinks. If she's interested, she'll go for it, which meant she was just stressed out and wasn't emotionally ready. If not, she wasn't that interested and probably gave her number to get rid of you politely (it happens). If she's not at least asking you the bare minimum questions about you, she's most likely just being polite (even if she laughs, laughing for women sometimes is like a fake orgasm).



I notice that you still look for some validation on her every move (e.g writing about her ticks and specific movements here). It's great that you put yourself out there, but remember that the key is to stay in the moment. Enjoy the process of seduction and don't worry about her liking you as much, but to push her emotional triggers in the right mood ( hint: not during super important tests).

Post: #13

(05-13-2014 12:57 PM)simondice Wrote:  To be honest, I don't think it's going to work

It's summer. Girls that are not furiously studying for tests like SAT's, LSAT's or MCAT's need cock ASAP and the window of opportunity should be 1-3 days of meeting or they'll forget you quickly ,

the most ideal date should be the first day, insta-date. If you wait a week, she'll lose that spark soon. However, this girl is stressed out! let her breath, just imagine you during college finals times 20! Call next week and say you want to grab drinks. If she's interested, she'll go for it, which meant she was just stressed out and wasn't emotionally ready. If not, she wasn't that interested and probably gave her number to get rid of you politely (it happens). If she's not at least asking you the bare minimum questions about you, she's most likely just being polite (even if she laughs, laughing for women sometimes is like a fake orgasm).



I notice that you still look for some validation on her every move (e.g writing about her ticks and specific movements here). It's great that you put yourself out there, but remember that the key is to stay in the moment. Enjoy the process of seduction and don't worry about her liking you as much, but to push her emotional triggers in the right mood ( hint: not during super important tests).

I think there's truth to this. Typical ango woman ....focusing on career first. She has shown "IOIs" I think in the past but never asking me one thing about me after multiple encounters is not exactly encouraging.

I've decided my plan is I'm going to probably run into her at the coffeeshop next week while she's there filling out med school apps. I'll ask her how the test went and just feel out her body language. Hopefully she won't be as icy as she was today...she shouldn't be since she'll be done with the test.

When I ask her out...it's going to be a low key suggestion...nothing monumentous like I'm proposing....so if she says "no" it won't be too awkward. Hopefully she'll say yes though. Maybe something like ask her if she's celebrated yet or some such...then say " you should celebrate" and "we should meet up for a drink sometime" and just see how she reacts to that statement....if she likes it I'll roll with the plans...if she hems and haws.....next!

Post: #14

(05-13-2014 01:06 PM)robreke Wrote:  I've decided my plan is I'm going to probably run into her at the coffeeshop next week while she's there filling out med school apps.

Bring a girl with you. The hotter the better. Watch how fast she is "available"

(05-13-2014 01:06 PM)robreke Wrote:  I think there's truth to this. Typical ango woman ....focusing on career first. She has shown "IOIs" I think in the past but never asking me one thing about me after multiple encounters is not exactly encouraging.

Don't blame them, she's actually being polite. Some girls are just not available. It could also be your game, if you run game properly the more you improve, the more she'll find her instincts and drop her "carreer-driven" demeanor. Game more girls and don't dedicate so much time on one.

Best luck

Post: #15

Yes....im trying to avoid oneitis at all costs. Id love to bring a hot girl with me.....but I have exactly zero hot women in my life. Maybe I can get one before next week.

Post: #16

Perfect, you're on your way.
What do you think are your weaknesses and strong points in game?

Post: #17

My strengths are I am tall and lean built. Kind of a swimmers build w relatively wide shoulders. Im a decent looking guy and often get looks but also often dont capitalize on them or realize I let something slip by til after the fact.

my weaknesses are not pushing interactions and bailing too soon or going blank. Another "weakness" if it can even be called that is im 43 and usually I only like women in their 20s. Though I look early to mid 30s. So....I often think about "shocking" women when they find my real age as im sure they think im younger.

Post: #18

I wouldn't consider the age factor a weakness. In countries like Colombia or Venezuela, it's not crazy to see a 16 year old going out with a 45 year old, because women (a good chunk of them) love older guys with game.
Maybe, don't even mention it and leave it a mystery (which women love).

It seems you don't push your interactions as far as they can go because you care too much how a girl might react ( an intuitive perspective from your writing). The moment you realize that you can express yourself however you want and she'll either take it or leave it in the exact same way you want it will liberate you. There are tons of girls out there who would love to go out and fuck guys like us because we are rare.
Let me ask you, have you done your 100 approaches yet?
It is really true that after that number, rejection and approach anxiety reduces, because there's no more ego involved, you are just calibrating and expressing your sexual integrity without fear and in the best way possible.

Post: #19

Im not to a hundred yet....ive been approaching on off for a few years....though I just got serious about a month ago.

One problem is where I live .....I dont see approachable women everyday and I only do daygame. I may need to start nightgame or move to a bigger city.

Post: #20

Roosh has a post where he recommends approaching a girl a day, no matter what, so it's habit building and you can develop your game better. You'll learn better by approaching a woman a day consistently with no fail, than not approaching anyone for a week and then approach 20 in a day.

Post: #21

So do you always push interactions all the way to the point where you're going for a date or number? Even with those women who you may not be "feelin it" all the way?

Post: #22

If a woman engages me for more than a minute and follows one or two of my tangents, and I find her attractive, I'll pursuit her until she rejects me or I fuck her.

I'll go for an insta-date, If we both have time ( which is usually the case when you're chilling around a park or a university campus), you tell her " hey let me get to know you a little bit" and grab her hand to sit down somewhere near. This is usually after the 5 minute mark, if she says anything but an outright "NO", you're good.

If you are in a hurry and need to go, leave her wanting more, so ramp up the teasing, touch her, have a good 5 minute conversation and when it looks like the conversation is getting good, go for date (something low-key like coffee or drinks) later (digits are implied), leave her wanting more. If she's interested, she'll definitely give you her number and be excited for you to text her, hell she might even be the first one to do so. If she denies you, it's because she's got a boyfriend and she's serious about him. (Note IF she's serious about him, if she doesn't mention him, you're golden)

If she's in a hurry (class, work, etc) do the above as well. Make her hate her job for getting in the way of a GREAT time with you. Women don't know what they want, and they're full of insecurities and flaws, BUT they trust men like us to blaze past through that bullshit, and take what we want. Her instincts are to let us lead. Their intuition expect us to do all the work, they're like the beta males who are waiting for that magical fix to fall out of the sky. As long as she doesn't outright stop you, you're good.

Post: #23

(05-13-2014 08:46 PM)simondice Wrote:  If a woman engages me for more than a minute and follows one or two of my tangents, and I find her attractive, I'll pursuit her until she rejects me or I fuck her.

I'll go for an insta-date, If we both have time ( which is usually the case when you're chilling around a park or a university campus), you tell her " hey let me get to know you a little bit" and grab her hand to sit down somewhere near. This is usually after the 5 minute mark, if she says anything but an outright "NO", you're good.

If you are in a hurry and need to go, leave her wanting more, so ramp up the teasing, touch her, have a good 5 minute conversation and when it looks like the conversation is getting good, go for date (something low-key like coffee or drinks) later (digits are implied), leave her wanting more. If she's interested, she'll definitely give you her number and be excited for you to text her, hell she might even be the first one to do so. If she denies you, it's because she's got a boyfriend and she's serious about him. (Note IF she's serious about him, if she doesn't mention him, you're golden)

If she's in a hurry (class, work, etc) do the above as well. Make her hate her job for getting in the way of a GREAT time with you. Women don't know what they want, and they're full of insecurities and flaws, BUT they trust men like us to blaze past through that bullshit, and take what we want. Her instincts are to let us lead. Their intuition expect us to do all the work, they're like the beta males who are waiting for that magical fix to fall out of the sky. As long as she doesn't outright stop you, you're good.

Do you push through the 'token resistance' she may give to an insta date or giving the number? Or mostly let those go and stick with the totally agreeable ones?

Post: #24

(05-13-2014 10:13 PM)robreke Wrote:  Do you push through the 'token resistance' she may give to an insta date or giving the number? Or mostly let those go and stick with the totally agreeable ones?

Honestly, the token resistance is the bare minimum if you're confident and it's usually in the case of bratty but light-hearted fun resistance.

In the approach thread, I wrote about a girl I approached:
/thread-14130-...#pid718955

She gave me "token resistance" in this part :

Me- " you're carrying so much stuff. Next time, I'll see you carrying stuff on your head like one of those african women"
She laughs
Her- " Why are you talking out of your booty?!?"
Me- " I'm in a good mood today" with a smirk
Her "yeah me too" giggling

She's giving you green lights whenever she isn't outright telling you "No". Girls are so used to pasty, soft guys that when they see a guy taking their hand after just a brief time, leading them, being confident and taking his, they'll feel excited and will want to see if you're the real deal by casually giving you shit (in a fun way) you just have to smile and keep doing your thing.