Post: #5251

I've never tried SA. What the fuck is that, some kind of sugar daddy site? Is every girl under 25 joining online dating just openly declaring they're a whore?

Got flaked on tonight. You can read about it on the "just got flaked on" thread.

Post: #5252

(02-09-2016 11:11 PM)XPQ22 Wrote:  I've never tried SA. What the fuck is that, some kind of sugar daddy site? Is every girl under 25 joining online dating just openly declaring they're a whore?

Yes pretty much so. Women's behaviour has never been so transparent.

Even the mainstream media can't escape the truth of it all - this is from the BBC:





and their article this week:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/article/35...ing-to-app

Post: #5253

Even the ex glamour model (6) has a flat paid for and everything she wanted...the mom's co-sign was a bit disturbing though.

Post: #5254

Girls who require this level of investment before the date will invariably sit there on the actual date like a social retard and ghost immediately after. This has been the established precedent in my experience.

I can see the logic behind pre-date comfort building, but this is often counter-productive. Besides, I'm a busy fucking man and I don't have the time to text some random internet chick to validate her existence 3000 times per day.

Post: #5255

That's alright but I would have followed that with something like "and anyway I'll give you all the enthusiasm you need once we meet ".

Post: #5256

^^^ Yeah, I've gotten messages from that type of girl before. Just looking at the screencap above I can almost smell the BS/manipulation. Girls who give off that vibe are almost invariably a waste of time, with a little experience you should screen for that type of girl before you even send an opening message (on OKC at least where there are actual profiles to go on.)

Things she did wrong:

A) "if I'm going to come meet a total stranger" Whatever bitch, he'll be the fourth total stranger you've met this week. It's why you're here. Don't try to run "I feel anxious about meeting in person" crap, nobody believes it.

B) She's trying to book you in in the afternoon, which means you're either a low priority option or she doesn't want to give up her Saturday night club time. Fuck that. That's why someone suggested above, and I agree, to never try to make dates on weekends unless you're pretty confident it's a sure thing (or it's a second.) Too high pressure, for both of you. Make them on a Tuesday night, the bars are less crowded, and come on lady I know you're not doing shit.

C) "I'm hard at work already" - attempting to run "I am a desirable big shot girl" game. Transparent manipulation. This is pretty much a hard limit for me; when a girl starts discussing how many dates she's been going on this week, or how popular she is on the site, or how many messages she gets, I'm outta there, as one of my posts above indicates. She is straight up telling you you're a player in a lottery you're unlikely to win. Listen to them.

Mistakes you made:

A) "I'm really busy" Comes off as tryhard. You don't have to say it explicitly, it should be obvious to her by how you're interacting that you're not big into timewasters. It doesn't need to be said, just understood.

B) "hope you understand" Who cares if she understands, though? Not your problem.

C) "if you want to cancel, that's cool" Don't shoot yourself in the foot and give them ideas.

If I get the sense that I've got a weak lead and I want to eject, I usually try to leave the door open and I just give them my number anyway. Rarely, but sometimes, they come around, and it doesn't take a lot of extra time.

I would have said something like:

"I'm not really big into texting. Unfortunately, it seems like our schedules aren't looking compatible right now. If you get some free time, shoot me a text. XXX-XXX-XXXX. There's always interesting stuff to do, but it isn't gonna happen sitting here... ; )"

Then, if you're really into them for some reason, you can always try pinging them back on the site after a week or two and see if anything has changed, because you left the door open and they didn't get bad feels from your interaction.

Post: #5257

Here's the basic philosophy I'm trying to use in the way I do my online approaches that I think will garner the best results. And at its core, it's pretty much the same way you'd try to pull a girl with night game or daygame.

The beginning of every online interaction with a new girl usually begins with BS. But as the conversation evolves over the course of several messages, you need to somewhat rapidly move from BS 'getting to know you' messages to messages with intent. That's how you indirectly indicate that you're a busy guy who doesn't have a lot of time for texting nonsense. I think 3 exchanges is too quick to pitch the date, but if she sticks around for say 10-15 back and forths over the course of an hour, you know you may have a good prospect on your hands. I hesitate to even spend time on girls where interactions stretch over days - they don't view you as a priority and in my experience are some of the most likely to flake at a later time, even if they do agree to a meet.

By the time that number of messages has elapsed, you should be well out of BS land and every word of every sentence of every message you send should have intent. What's her schedule like, what are her logistics like (if I have to meet near her, does she have 4 roommates that will cockblock me?) Nothing extraneous, just information gathering. Phrases like "I hope you understand" don't have any intent when you're trying to close. Don't waste button pushes on them.

If you like what you read, then you pitch the meet right on the site. Don't exchange numbers and then text her and pitch via SMS or something. Your phone number is your privileged communication channel. It's what girls get when they agree to "sign on the line", or if they want to contact you pro-actively, or if they're a hot lead from a night game spot who you think is a really good prospect. I spent way too much time over the summer wasting time texting on my phone with up to maybe 10 flakey girls at a time that would come to nothing. If you find that your phone is stuffed full of phone numbers of online flakes, then I think you're doing it wrong. Unless you're banging 5 different girls concurrently on the regular (sadly I am not), I'd say that's the max I'd keep there at any one time. Only girls you're banging, or who have agreed to a meet at a place of your choosing without the meet time negotiation feeling like a strategic arms reduction summit, or are going to rapidly get the "buying question." As soon as one falls out of one these categories by flaking, ghosting, being ambivalent, or wasting time, I think it's far easier to replace.

Post: #5258

(02-11-2016 03:36 PM)XPQ22 Wrote:  ^^^ Yeah, I've gotten messages from that type of girl before. Just looking at the screencap above I can almost smell the BS/manipulation. Girls who give off that vibe are almost invariably a waste of time, with a little experience you should screen for that type of girl before you even send an opening message (on OKC at least where there are actual profiles to go on.)

Things she did wrong:

A) "if I'm going to come meet a total stranger" Whatever bitch, he'll be the fourth total stranger you've met this week. It's why you're here. Don't try to run "I feel anxious about meeting in person" crap, nobody believes it.

B) She's trying to book you in in the afternoon, which means you're either a low priority option or she doesn't want to give up her Saturday night club time. Fuck that. That's why someone suggested above, and I agree, to never try to make dates on weekends unless you're pretty confident it's a sure thing (or it's a second.) Too high pressure, for both of you. Make them on a Tuesday night, the bars are less crowded, and come on lady I know you're not doing shit.

C) "I'm hard at work already" - attempting to run "I am a desirable big shot girl" game. Transparent manipulation. This is pretty much a hard limit for me; when a girl starts discussing how many dates she's been going on this week, or how popular she is on the site, or how many messages she gets, I'm outta there, as one of my posts above indicates. She is straight up telling you you're a player in a lottery you're unlikely to win. Listen to them.

Mistakes you made:

A) "I'm really busy" Comes off as tryhard. You don't have to say it explicitly, it should be obvious to her by how you're interacting that you're not big into timewasters. It doesn't need to be said, just understood.

B) "hope you understand" Who cares if she understands, though? Not your problem.

C) "if you want to cancel, that's cool" Don't shoot yourself in the foot and give them ideas.

If I get the sense that I've got a weak lead and I want to eject, I usually try to leave the door open and I just give them my number anyway. Rarely, but sometimes, they come around, and it doesn't take a lot of extra time.

I would have said something like:

"I'm not really big into texting. Unfortunately, it seems like our schedules aren't looking compatible right now. If you get some free time, shoot me a text. XXX-XXX-XXXX. There's always interesting stuff to do, but it isn't gonna happen sitting here... ; )"

Then, if you're really into them for some reason, you can always try pinging them back on the site after a week or two and see if anything has changed, because you left the door open and they didn't get bad feels from your interaction.

Thanks for the thorough breakdown here!

I totally see that my text may have been a little more curt than necessary but this is coming from abundance as I have a couple of good dates lined up for this weekend. I often schedule dates for the weekend only because a lot of these chicks work and encouraging them to come out on a week night and drink alcohol is difficult (though I'm self-employed and can slip away any night). Girls who try do the afternoon coffee thing are doing it because, as you point out, they have other priorities - or they think that meeting for a drink in the evening is far too much for a first meet, and they'd like something low-key instead where they can disqualify you quickly and move on.

I've gone cold on this chick and she senses it; and the only reason I've done this is because I've had experience with this type of girl before, and it invariably leads to nothing. I'm going to probably bail on this one!

Post: #5259

To the above I do get a load of phone numbers from online game. Yes I do it slightly differently and screen them on my phone via text if they pass my initial screening. My phone is absolutely littered with them and yes the vast majority are time wasters. The worst are the ones who don't use Whatsapp but SMS texting like it's 1999 those phone numbers never fucking get anywhere.

Their attention spans are fucking shocking. Within a week if you hold a number and don't go out with her she wouldn't bother with you because she doesn't remember who you are anymore.

I've double booked for tomorrow night with two new girls. That's right valentine's day first dates. I don't think I've done this in a while, well last year I did have a girlfriend.

The winner that I actually turn up to will be the one that warms up the most to my texts before the date and has optimum logistics.

Post: #5260

Interesting. Here in the States (New England at least), Whatsapp doesn't seem to have much market penetration. I can think of maybe one time someone asked me if I had it. It's generally all SMS, or iMessage if they have an Apple device. Occasionally I get asked about Kik, the girls who hit me with that are either attention whores or big freaks.

Every girl I've had sex with via online I've been in touch with via SMS pretty much, worked out fine. One even used some ten year old Blackberry as her primary communication device, she said she liked that it had real buttons.

I'm actually hoping my date tonight flakes. She's about 45 minutes south of me in an area that's a bit of a pain to get to. There's a concert happening 20 minutes north that I want to see. In general I try to make plans so such things are close to each other - not possible this time.

Post: #5261

Many girls in the US use iMessage, iPhone is the default over there. Europe is more Whatsapp territory. Although when I was in New York most girls used both as it's a more global city.

Kik is a load of shite, that's what SA girls use to try to hide their phone number from you.

45 minutes is a shit long way to go for a first date. I tend to do it as close to where I live as possible though I live in a big city.

A girl wanted to meet up with me tonight to go to a bar nearby where she lives after she said she wouldn't come to where I was proposing with some bullshit excuse. In this scenario it would have been particularly stupid of me to turn up, i.e. I would turn up with absolutely zero frame and she invests nothing at all as it's probably walking distance from her. It's the kind of thing newbies do before getting burned a number of times.

Post: #5262

I'm in the UK and I find about 95% of girls I connect with online have Whatsapp. This is a godsend because just two to three years ago I had a phone full of fucking numbers and I couldn't remember who was who. Now with Whatsapp they have a profile pic of themselves which makes things a lot easier!

Though I find Whatsapp has made things a bit more "personal" so these chicks now want to chit-chat more than they do with normal SMS.

As for distance, I'm routinely having to travel 50plus miles for dates. I'm in a small town and pickings are slim.

I've a date lined up for tomorrow with this hot little number I previously flaked on because I had double-booked. She was mad as hell but they all love the drama.

Post: #5263

(02-11-2016 07:22 PM)griffinmill Wrote:  I'm in the UK and I find about 95% of girls I connect with online have Whatsapp. This is a godsend because just two to three years ago I had a phone full of fucking numbers and I couldn't remember who was who. Now with Whatsapp they have a profile pic of themselves which makes things a lot easier!

Though I find Whatsapp has made things a bit more "personal" so these chicks now want to chit-chat more than they do with normal SMS.

As for distance, I'm routinely having to travel 50plus miles for dates. I'm in a small town and pickings are slim.

50 miles each way?

Move.

Post: #5264

First POF meetup last night. She came through last minute and I think it was worth the trip. Recently separated mom, early 30s. Says she's not looking for any more kids and enjoyed joking about all those never married women on online dating sites looking to lock a guy down. Cute face, slightly heavier than I like but not too bad (says she's getting back into working out now that she's single again of course.) I was sucking on her big tits in her car about two hours after meeting her, but no lay for the usual reasons women in their 30s give. Sort of the exact opposite personality of those girls who say "they're not looking for FWB or hookup", though, which was refreshing. If she doesn't ghost I'm pretty sure she's looking for a guy that isn't known to her social circle to come by from time to time and "hang out" when she's not dealing with job, kids, and so on. Logistics could be a problem, though. We'll see.

Second meet with the slim rocker chick who took me home last weekend is scheduled for tonight. Very little question she'll come through as she texted me a couple times yesterday to make sure we were on.

So far since last Friday I've got one lay, one brief hookup in a hotel with early 20s girl but no sex (she ghosted after), one car grope session. Two dates flaked the day of with lame excuses, two agreed to plans but ghosted a couple days in advance (including the best looking one, damn.)

Best week ever since I began this adventure at the beginning of the summer! And after those months of nothing my account is blowing up with more message responses.

Just doing my part to get this thread back to getting laid like a boss again.

Post: #5265

(02-12-2016 09:22 AM)eradicator Wrote:  

(02-11-2016 07:22 PM)griffinmill Wrote:  I'm in the UK and I find about 95% of girls I connect with online have Whatsapp. This is a godsend because just two to three years ago I had a phone full of fucking numbers and I couldn't remember who was who. Now with Whatsapp they have a profile pic of themselves which makes things a lot easier!

Though I find Whatsapp has made things a bit more "personal" so these chicks now want to chit-chat more than they do with normal SMS.

As for distance, I'm routinely having to travel 50plus miles for dates. I'm in a small town and pickings are slim.

50 miles each way?

Move.

If the girls are in the city, it sounds like somebody should be thinking about renting a "bang pad", if they can swing it financially. I'm stuck in the sticks for the moment as well, and I'm totally considering it.

Probably could get some absentee landlord AirBNB hustler to rent you a place on the weekends for several months for not too much, at least. You could then change your location to the city and increase interest.

Post: #5266

(01-07-2016 10:50 AM)General Stalin Wrote:  

(01-04-2016 05:17 PM)Kid Strangelove Wrote:  Just realized (and apologies for the derail) this little throwaway thread I started in order to share the shit I knew about online game is now 5 years old and spans 200+ pages.

It's been a great source for people starting out with online game, but nowadays it's basically an extension of the "What should I text next," I-Just-Got-Flaked-On, and Plus-Notch threads peppered with people debating whether or not online game is dead.

Lets discuss what has changed in online dating the last 5 years.

Tinder started in 2012 and hookup culture has become even more rampant, accepted, and normal. I think OKCupid has become more hookup-happy because of that. "Netflix & chill" became a thing a year or two ago. Would you say it has gotten easier or harder to get lays from OKCupid?

I didn't start using OKC until 2014 so I missed the early days. For me it hasn't changed a lot in the past 2 years. I would say the most noticeable thing is the rise of fake profiles and trannies.

One constant is likely that girls get jaded the longer they are on there. Best odds are with girls who have had an account <6 months. Longer than that are serial daters/attention whores who's perspective of relationships will forever be skewed by their warped ego and perception and ease of options.

Post: #5267

I haven't been on OKC since 2013, but I did get lays off of it however it was a struggle. I simply had more options from night game or Tinder.

OKC has so many idiots on it, and when I say idiots I don't just mean because they're neon hair coloured morons. Genuine idiots who shovel shit all over the place are the majority of women you have access to until your account is approved to be seen by more girls who are popular.

You're stuck with the dregs until you move up.

Post: #5268

Had an Okcupid date last night (maybe a 6.5) following my 1st date bang extravaganza the previous night (see the Just Had Sex thread).Met up with her 5 minutes from my place, had a drink then really easily walked back to my place. We kissed but had difficulty getting any further, typical girl in her 30s in OKCupid. Didn't go too far yet doubt I'll ever see her again though. The last time I had a second date with no sex on the first was maybe 6 months ago. Modern women for you. I'm not sure if my cock would have functioned anyway.

Post: #5269

I've been using online for three years now and it is mostly a mixed bag. I only use POF because where I am (Ireland) the pickings on OkCupid are very slim, and having tried Tinder with little success. Lots of attention whores and validation seekers. It's been more miss than hit. It's reputation as being a hook-up app is unwarranted. It has been a colossal waste of time.

POF is where I get the majority of my online lays. The quality about three years ago was marginally better. Now I think it's reputation has caught up with it. Lots of the same jaded faces serial dating. It was just that little bit easier to get lays from it a few years back.

Had two lays in January, one I'm seeing on the regular. I pretty much never get a second date. I can have a four-hour date where her eyes are sparking and she's laughing at all of my jokes, but I'll never see her again. I can have her texting that very night after she gets home about how "handsome" I am.

I'll never see her again.

Saying that, I do have a second date tonight.

Women have too many options, a topic that's been thoroughly explored here.

My logistics are so poor that I've lost lays. As you all know, good logistics are 95% of the battle. I'm 50 miles away from most of my dates, and to live in the city is too expensive.

The sexual marketplace is very skewed online, and the thirsty men have blown up the price of the merchandise. Thirsty men are good for us in the sense that their utter lack of game makes us stand out, but their disgusting supplication makes every girl feel like Cindy Crawford circa 1994. The only way I've gotten the rare 8 or 9 is running asshole game at first, then pulling back.

The rudeness and social etiquette of these princesses is pretty terrible. The last two dates-to-nowhere I've had were with girls who didn't lift themselves off their seat when I first arrived and introduced myself. They just sat there like a sack of potatoes and offered a limp hand. It is very telling. It shows a lack of decorum.

I'm 37 and the women in my decade are the worst. I try and stick with girls in their 20s or 40s - or girls who have just turned 30 or 31 at the most.

One thing I don't have a problem with is flaking. I have pretty good pics (think Christian Grey doing an impersonation of the Most Interesting Man in the World), and a very deep phone voice and they are always "intrigued" about me. I get that a lot. Not to say I always fuck them once I get them out, but my flake rate is pretty non-existent.

Post: #5270

(02-14-2016 07:12 AM)griffinmill Wrote:  I pretty much never get a second date. I can have a four-hour date where her eyes are sparking and she's laughing at all of my jokes, but I'll never see her again. I can have her texting that very night after she gets home about how "handsome" I am.

I'll never see her again.

I may try my luck on POF again I actually got decent results on it last year. You never know what you may find at the bottom of the barrel.

Post: #5271

I just never can bring myself to do online game on OK Cupid. Whenever I tell myself I am going to do it, I start browsing profiles and get grossed out. 85-90% of these girls are hideous.

I also just can't wrap my mind around the concept of investing time in messaging someone I've never met in person.

I need to see a girl in person before deciding if I want to even talk to her or not. If the face is not that great, I at least need to see her butt in some tight pants to feel some juices flowing and get myself motivated.

Does that sound like a symptom of low T?

Post: #5272

I see a lot of guys on here psyching themselves out of OKC because they say they browse a few profiles and they are all ogres. Must be a location thing. Most any major city will be loaded with hotties. I lived in New England now live in the Southwest and I've always found plenty of talent on OKC. I will say it's somewhat close to 50/50 cute girls vs. trolls but when you play quickmatch with 100 profiles that's a decent pool.

Personal record: I just got my fastest bang from OKC last night.

I figured it was Valentines weekend, I felt like getting laid so I hopped on the 'cupid to see if I could find some desperate gals who'd be willing to meetup. Saw I had a couple of new "likes" so I scoped out my recent visitors. One girl was a 35 yo single mom. Liked her back and messaged her.

   

   

19 minute exchange. She texted her address. I drove 15 minutes and was banging within the hour. Her pics were betting looking I'd honestly call her a 5/10 but seeing her in person after about half an hour from opening, and closing in under an hour from open (and I could have closed probably when I walked in the door but I felt like chilling and getting a vibe going first). Pretty decent.

Post: #5273

I was killing a little time on POF and got into a out-of-nowhere conversation with this girl, and this is what she said:




How would you respond to this? Is this the truth from her point of view? I'm not even talking about replying to her...but is this words of "wisdom" from the prism of a girl's way of seeing things?

Post: #5274

(02-14-2016 01:05 PM)General Stalin Wrote:  I see a lot of guys on here psyching themselves out of OKC because they say they browse a few profiles and they are all ogres. Must be a location thing. Most any major city will be loaded with hotties. I lived in New England now live in the Southwest and I've always found plenty of talent on OKC. I will say it's somewhat close to 50/50 cute girls vs. trolls but when you play quickmatch with 100 profiles that's a decent pool.

Personal record: I just got my fastest bang from OKC last night.

I figured it was Valentines weekend, I felt like getting laid so I hopped on the 'cupid to see if I could find some desperate gals who'd be willing to meetup. Saw I had a couple of new "likes" so I scoped out my recent visitors. One girl was a 35 yo single mom. Liked her back and messaged her.






19 minute exchange. She texted her address. I drove 15 minutes and was banging within the hour. Her pics were betting looking I'd honestly call her a 5/10 but seeing her in person after about half an hour from opening, and closing in under an hour from open (and I could have closed probably when I walked in the door but I felt like chilling and getting a vibe going first). Pretty decent.

I like the "psh, no invite that's what I'm basically doing". Christ, I still have blind spots that need to be awakened. I'm thinking of a few exchanges where I missed this opportunity where the girl was pretty much giving me the same spiel about watching tv/relaxing and I didn't capitalize.

Post: #5275

(02-14-2016 02:19 PM)VforVlad Wrote:  


How would you respond to this? Is this the truth from her point of view? I'm not even talking about replying to her...but is this words of "wisdom" from the prism of a girl's way of seeing things?

This is a classic example of paying attention to what women do not what they say. She is just regurgitating what she thinks is right.

If you were to respond to that, assuming she is attractive enough to pursue, I was just say something like "Haha yeah, so any good vday plans?"

When broads get uppity about shit just dismiss/evade. Brush it aside like a child making a big deal over nothing and change the subject to something more enjoyable for both of you.

(02-14-2016 02:23 PM)VforVlad Wrote:  I like the "psh, no invite that's what I'm basically doing". Christ, I still have blind spots that need to be awakened. I'm thinking of a few exchanges where I missed this opportunity where the girl was pretty much giving me the same spiel about watching tv/relaxing and I didn't capitalize.

If a girl is on OKC looking at profiles and reading messages - she is typically bored and doing nothing. Especially if its a weekend night. I know when I'm out with people or having a good time, I'm certainly not scrolling though bullshit dating profiles on my phone. If a girl making it clear she is up to nothing at all it is an open invitation to setup quick plans as far as I see it.