Post: #1

One thing that reading around here has enlightened me to is how important it is to pick the right people to be in your life. Between shitty friends and terrible spouses, bad choices can cause heartache at best, or be deadly at worst. In this regard, I firmly believe that the principle of "an ounce of prevention equals a pound of problems" truly applies. So, with that in mind, what would you say the time frame is for women to show their true selves? This is, of course, assuming the observer (typically the significant other) isn't willfully blind to red flags. Anecdotes would be greatly appreciated.

Post: #2

I believe it takes a full year of seeing/dating a girl consistently to see what she's really like.

That's why I advocate NOT being exclusive until you've casually dated a girl for at least 6 months.

People will usually show their true colors within 6 months and almost definitely within a year.

Post: #3

(05-12-2014 11:34 PM)Christian McQueen Wrote:  I believe it takes a full year of seeing/dating a girl consistently to see what she's really like.

That's why I advocate NOT being exclusive until you've casually dated a girl for at least 6 months.

People will usually show their true colors within 6 months and almost definitely within a year.

I can testify to this. I've recently come out of an LTR of 1 year. The chick slowly started showing her true colors around 6 months. In the end she was nothing like the girl I used to know. She was no longer the woman I fell in love with.

Fair enough, I made some mistakes, I've been too Beta with her too many times, I've learned my lessons, but goddamn women can be relentless and fucked up man, even after being exclusive with them for more than 6 months. The moment you think you can let your guard down and be comfortable with a chick, she will crush your balls so fucking hard. The game never ends boys. It's sad but true.

Post: #4

^^ What McQueen is saying is really all there is to say about this.
After 6-12 months you'll see this girl for what she really is. And if you still likes her as much as when you first met her, my congratulations...

Post: #5

Some of them can hide it until you say "I do."

Post: #6

That depends far more on you than it does on the woman you're dating.

Post: #7

You've probably seen the real woman on day one, you just ignored it. I know I have.

I get bored
I don't think I'll ever know you
I'm crazy
^ all things I've heard in the first couple days, only to recall them when shit hits the fan.

Otherwise I agree with everyone else.

Also, get a chick
- drunk
- with her close family
- extended family
- friends
- co-workers

How she interacts with them will tell you a lot about her character.

OF ONLY I'D USED BETTER JUDGMENT...


WIA

Post: #8

How about these chumps that don't get to know their girls real self until after they get married.
Always lol-worthy.

Post: #9

Depends on your skill in testing and ability to uncover her real self through little tricks. Proficient player can do this in few weeks, average forum member can do this in two to six months and beta will do this in two years to never.

-See how she treats your resources and how entitled she is to them
-See what's her relationship with her close family
-Does she have a father?
-Her close friends structure
-Her profession and her ambitions
-How much she cares about her figure, her skin, hair and clothing
-Her experiences from past relationships, how she talks now about men she used to fuck and suck on regular

Beta will be blind for real answers on these questions for a long time.

Post: #10

In my experience: 1 year

seems we're all on the same page here.

Post: #11

To pick a slut the father will represent around 70% of all you need to know. Any bad impressions of the father it's hopeless.

Post: #12

For me it's always being around the 4 month mark. I'm more into serial monogamy over fucking different girls at the same time. All of these mini relationships end around the 4 month mark. I agree that if you look hard enough then you can spot the signs very early on, after that it comes down to your tolerance level. I normally do a tally at around 4 months and tot up all of the girls micro bullshit (I never tolerate overt disrespect) and always find myself letting them go. The benefit ratio is just not there after 4 months, I begin to really dislike them and the sex also gets boring.

Post: #13

(05-13-2014 05:35 AM)Pepini Wrote:  To pick a slut the father will represent around 70% of all you need to know. Any bad impressions of the father it's hopeless.

Not necessarily. I dated a slut for 9 months a few years back and her father was the greatest guy I've ever met. It was her mother who was a complete and utter mess, and I think it's her fucked up mother who influenced her and turned my girlfriend into a slut.

Mind you that she lived with her father, not with her mother. She was very close with him, while she didn't seem to like her mother at all. So I guess the situation with my ex-girlfriend was a bit reversed in comparison to most chicks with divorced parents who live with their mom and have a fucked up dad living somewhere else.

Post: #14

Well, I'm sure Liam Hemsworth is pleased he got out when he did:





Urgh. Simple Jack looking motherfucker.

Post: #15

She is never hiding herself.

The question is, "How long does it take for me to remove the blinders of love (what I want her to be) and be willing to see a person for who they are?"

On average, 1 1/2 years. At that point you'll either break-up or get engaged.

Post: #16

For some reason this thread made me think of this

Post: #17

I've found more guys to be blind to their women than a woman hiding herself. If you were to go up to any guy in a bar and tell him his GF/wife was trying to get your number would he believe you?

Some guys even ignore it and fall in line and live with it.

I've always had a 6-18 months timeframe for people to last because that is the true metric you can stand a person without leaving.

Post: #18

I'm honestly a little bit surprised by this thread.

Consider how many tells there are that a girl is a SIF once you learn what they are. There are a myriad of tells as to what kind of personality a girl has, what her beliefs are, and what you can expect from her, you only have to be attentive enough to see them. You can also engage a girl in specific ways to reveal even more clearly where she's at and what you can expect from her.

Forgive me, but isn't this just part of game?

If it's taking you guys 12 months to figure this stuff out you're doing something wrong IMO.

Post: #19

(05-13-2014 03:55 PM)Wadsworth Wrote:  I'm honestly a little bit surprised by this thread.

Consider how many tells there are that a girl is a SIF once you learn what they are. There are a myriad of tells as to what kind of personality a girl has, what her beliefs are, and what you can expect from her, you only have to be attentive enough to see them. You can also engage a girl in specific ways to reveal even more clearly where she's at and what you can expect from her.

Forgive me, but isn't this just game?

If it's taking you guys 12 months to figure this stuff out you're doing something wrong IMO.

Well, I think this thread is about when a guy falls in love, has Oneitis, is the Adorer etc. When that happens the blinders are on.

Post: #20

I see 6 months and a year being thrown around and I agree with those times as far as how long someone can really hide their true selves. That said we as guys have to have our eyes open to see these signs as they appear and not hide our head in the sand and pretend a girl ____________ fill in the blank. I think alot of times guys don't want their image of some chick crushed or are so into a chick they choose not to see things.

Post: #21

How much of this is a girl being increasingly unable to hide her "true self," and how much of this is due to the novelty of banging her wearing off?

It's amazing how increasingly palpable a girl's flaws, both psychological and physical, become as you bang her more times.

Post: #22

Half a year, maximum one year. Believe it or not, most women give you a detailed personal profile in the first few hours after meeting them. After they have decided, what their goal/agenda is (relationship with you). That is where they start to hide their faults and start deceiving. They do not want to break your projection of her personality (blinders of love and/or horniness). The whole process ensured that you got her pregnant in ancient times.

Post: #23

I addressed this exact issue sometime ago on another thread---your biggest ally is time:

Quote:"It's definitely true that women will lie about their sexual history---their ability to secure long-term provisioning is a stake so there much incentive for them to be dishonest.

But in my experience, if you come across non-judgmental and you win a girl's trust she'll tell you what you want to know about her history. In obtaining this information, your biggest ally is time. Yes a woman will lie---but no one can lie forever and keep all their lies, backstories and details straight. Like most worthwhile information, the truth about a girl's sexual history usually cannot be obtained quickly. It takes time to build that trust and really get to know who she is and really get her to open up. And during that time you are also observing her behavior and social interactions as well. Is she an attention whore? How does she react to "slut shaming"? How many of her friends are guys she's "really close with"? And so on. I will say again: time is your ally and you need to be able to play a long game to get at what you need to know..."

"The overall point of this post is that it is possible to get the information you want about sexual history straight from the horses' mouth. You just have to have that timeless quality of every player from Casanova onward: patience. Patience, an understanding of the core human psychology you are trying to tap, your powers of observation, your own authenticity, and a relentless undercurrent of alpha---no woman can withstand this quiet siege indefinitely."

/thread-30876-...#pid598034

Post: #24

(05-13-2014 03:55 PM)Wadsworth Wrote:  I'm honestly a little bit surprised by this thread.

Consider how many tells there are that a girl is a SIF once you learn what they are. There are a myriad of tells as to what kind of personality a girl has, what her beliefs are, and what you can expect from her, you only have to be attentive enough to see them. You can also engage a girl in specific ways to reveal even more clearly where she's at and what you can expect from her.

Forgive me, but isn't this just part of game?

If it's taking you guys 12 months to figure this stuff out you're doing something wrong IMO.

What does SIF mean? But back to the main point: That's why I included the addendum about the guy not being blind. In my experience, most girls have a vested interest in hiding some stuff about them and are on some level aware of when their actions/behaviours can be construed as a red flag. I agree that most guys these days are blind and deceive themselves, but the girls do some deception on their own. I was just interested in what others had observed with regard to the ability of women to keep up an act.

Post: #25

That time frame could be very short. Put her in tough situation and see how she handles it. People show their true colors in trouble, when they face challenges, when things fall apart, when they have to act against their emotions, etc.

It could be going for a holiday together and arranging fake problems like with accommodation or stuff like that just to see how she handles challenges or whether she can support and stands by you without bitching too much. Even with innocent scenarios like riding a bike and faking getting lost in the middle of a dark forest could be very enlightening experience [been there done that].

Watching her among her friends, family, coworkers or listening to how she talks about her past/bf/etc is also decent sign. But it's tricky cause she can prepare herself for that to make a good impression so the truth tends to reveal itself over loooong period of time with subtle things here and there.