Post: #26

As mentioned above women are absolutely ruthless as fuck when it comes to dating, it is extreme pragmatism. In comparison most guys live in a fucking fairytale. You fuck up for any particular reason in their eyes and you're out or they go on a holiday and forget all about you and have 10 other guys messaging them then you're out. A new man is like a new game of Candy Crush for many of the younger generation. Many of them really are as fickle as fuck, particularly girls on online dating. They employ group think, talking to friends reading OK magazine. Men are just responding to it all (hitting up as many girls as possible) instead of setting the tone in the dating world. You end up with this, banging 5 new girls a month and wondering which ones you'll see again because "group think" nowadays is seeing men as completely disposable and replaceable in a heartbeat and society has little to no accountability to women creating a "I can do what I want" attitude mixed with the "independent women" "you go girl" attitude of riding around the cock carousel. They flaked because they took what value they thought they could get from you and are now looking to get value from elsewhere.

Post: #27

Maybe you aren't investing more of yourself? You need to start doing investing yourself into any type of relationship for it to work

Post: #28

"She used me!"

http://youtu.be/uXNHTROcoSs

Post: #29

I see McCoy finally got the axe.

Post: #30

Relevant post on the subject.

Post: #31

I don't think the explanation is the vacation thing. If a girl is such a slut, she might not have big problems about coming back at your cock after having ridden another one in an exotic location.
IMO what you should consider is: are you sure the sex (for them) was that good? Did you just give her vaginal sex with condom or did something they could eventually "remember" in a stronger way (e.g.: finishing in her mouth; doing anal; ecc.)? This makes a deep difference, firstly because their memory of it in the latter case will be stronger (e.g. due to the component of olfaction and/or taste), second because a woman who gets fucked with condom doens't feel she has so much "compromised" herself (it's like when you haven't invested much in a deal: you don't feel big regret at walking it).

Also, what kind of text you exactly sent them afterwards can say much.

Post: #32

(05-11-2015 07:01 PM)robreke Wrote:  

(05-11-2015 06:36 PM)ikemen Wrote:  How does one tell the difference from a regular flaking or just being plain busy?

There's a girl I've fucked twice now - and these events were separated by about 10 days with very little junk texting in between.

Each time involved multiple orgasms, post-sex chat and sleepovers.

It's been a bit of a challenge setting up the third though. In response to my text last week asking about her schedule she quickly replied this:
"Might be a good idea... I'm not sure yet, I've been really sick and in bed this week so I don't think I'll be up for much, can I let you know how I'm feeling mid week?"

I nonchalantly told her to get better and suggested bringing over some food next time.

Yesterday she initiated this text:
"Hello hello! How was your wkend? I really don't think I'll be free at all this week Try again next week?"

The last fuck was almost two weeks ago now. Part of me wonders if she is going through a period or just busy riding a cock carousel...

What's funny to me though is she suggests I try again as if she's still the prize to be pursued despite multiple bangs. I haven't replied yet, but wondering if I should acknowledge her (possibly) genuine response or just write back in a week to "try again". I realise the emotional connection is important to guarantee keeping her as a regular for at least a couple more months.

The big question is when is a flake a flake?

For a girl like this, I use the Corey Wayne suggestion:

"Sounds like you're pretty busy. When you figure out your schedule just let me know/shoot me a text." (optional is to throw in: Would like to see you again)

You're putting the ball in her court with a text like this. If she gets back to you, she's DTF, if not, the "medium is the message" as Rollo says.

I've used this one on a few girls who were being distant in their texts post bang and because of the subtext of that message ( hey bitch, I'm not chasing you....I'm busy...let me know when you want to see me) gets across to some of them. So, a few have responded rather quickly with something like :

"But I'm free next Tuesday night!" - Translation : game on

If she doesn't ever respond, either next her or hit her up in a month or so with a restart.

I like to use a variance of this pre & post bang

Post: #33

I think a good part of what's going on is the natural adrenaline rush ppl get with sleeping with relative strangers. Part of that high is a massive dopamine release and the second part is memory loss. So on one hand is the instinctual drive to reproduce and the other hand fight or flight. She may generally remember parts of things but it loses its value. The only exceptions I've had is where i built up enough of a friendship and comfort then i will get a few more bangs out of it. But even that doesn't work all the time either. I'm tired so i will put together some more on this later but it's a really good topic.

Post: #34

I used to worry about this too, but my mentor taught me something pretty valuable :

« Before the bang, its your job to get her attention and get her to bed.

After the bang, its now HER job to keep your attention and invest in the relationship. Women are biologically designed to get attached to their sexual partner. You have already proven yourself to her and should not need to put in much more hard work. If she doesnt invest in you, then that just proves exactly what she is : a worthless slut.

You might say that maybe she just wants a ONS/get back at her boyfriend, etc, all of that just proves my point further : what kind of women do that kind of thing ?

Save yourself the dignity and forget the women who invest nothing in you after you fuck. Whatever reason it is she is worth nothing to you. »

Having internalized that have freed my mind tremendously.

The idea of still having to run after women you have banged is ridiculous.

It doesnt mean that you do nothing, but post-fuck both of you should be putting in at least equal work to meet up. Girls who pump and dump you, or who are fine with being pumped and dumped, whatever reason it is, give them no second thought.

Post: #35

I have only one thing to say on this topic.......... Bitches be crazy

Post: #36

Hope yet remains, ye men.

Girl 2 from this post (in the notch thread) gave me a bit of attitude after I tried to set up Round Two
/thread-11951-...pid1016057

Me: Free Tuesday or Wednesday next week?
Her: I'm no mid-week girl. You're going to have to cough up a Friday or Saturday if you want to see me again.
Me: I'll take that as your ever so tactful way of upgrading a working class boy like me from Tightarse Tuesday. Friday eight days from now then.
Her: Actually I'm away that weekend...it seems our dance cards don't line up. What a pity
Me: I like it how you're attempting to match my level of obnoxiousness

Her setting me up for a fall by suggesting the weekend then knocking me back was a lame power play, so I went radio silent for 8 days.

Today this:
"ikemen, vegan dessert pedlar and son of the Virgin. I hope your week was wholesome. I'll be back on Sunday. What are you up to? Need a chaperone?"

Love girls who appreciate and remember in-jokes. Especially ones who come running back after they realise the alternative is some beta tool or 2 minute wonder.

Post: #37

This is a step deeper into the matrix. To realize hot ass chics will go have sex with a guy and then never talk to him again.

Just like any other step in the game, work on getting her to want you longer (per the great advice above), to be obsessed with you, the deep conversion stuff...work on it, but don't take it personally.

Just keep on plugging.

If you're gonna approach, you're gonna get turned down.
If you're gonna ask for her number, you're gonna be told no.
If you're gonna ask her to come home with you, you're gonna be told no.
If you're gonna rub her pussy, you're gonna get your hand pushed away.
If you're gonna stick your penis in her vagina, you're gonna be refused access.

But if you get yes's on all of those, or enough of those to get a yes on the last one...you're gonna never get called back.

That's just reality sometimes. Now go figure out how to prevent that.

Taking her out after fucking...genius. Great advice, glad I read this thread.

Post: #38

We've all heard the old school opener from "Opener 101 Class" that has been around a while that I think Mystery invented: "Hey, who lies more? Men or women?

This thread has given me an idea for a new opener: "Hey, who pumps and dumps more? Men or women?"

Post: #39

In my experience I've found it's:

-Got back with an ex-boyfriend / boyfriend drama
-Buyers Remorse
-Girl just wanted a fling

In that order. If I send a text and don't get a response I never text again, but rarely I will like their posts on facebook, etc. Once in a while I will get a random text months later. A few times I've asked them why they disappeared and it's usually #1.

Post: #40

I think the key here is to make the first few bangs high energy explosive barrier crushing sex, but brush it off like it was no big deal at all. I don't do super heavy leg work outs or schedule dates on days I know I'll be fucking exhausted by the time I'm carving her haunches.

I've also learned to not plan shit. Try to make dates happen, and respective bangs hopefully with follow-up interest, but keep a loose enough schedule you can be ready for spontaneity. A girl I like fucking, no matter how needy it might come across, I try to really lay into multiple times in the first few weeks... that keeps them around for a while.

How are you gonna make that sex memory stick in her mind? A long-term sore pussy. Unfortunately, a lot has to align to set aside that much time unexpectedly for a girl you might not want a relationship with. I can turn an okay fuck into an excellent fuck with enough sessions early on. Most women are too stupid to realize this, and lack the depth of understanding, so their entire sexual life is mediocre instead of fantastic.

Post: #41

In the year since I've been back in the game, I've banged 10 women.

One went with a more provider type guy.

One who claimed to be polyamorous, threw a fit when she found out I had other women in the mix.

One was just a drunken one night stand who I was unable to integrate into my harem. I did come close though.

I nexted one because because she was getting fat and gross.

Three are still in my rotation.

Three (including one who's still in my rotation) were super warm the few days after we slept together but in a few more days freaked and said stuff about protecting their hearts and trying to not repeat patterns from their past. In other words they got scared by how intense their feelings were.

One is freaking out right now about how intense her feelings are.

So in my experience (based on a small sample size) when girls flake after the bang, it usually has to do with liking me too much, not too little. In other words, a girl senses that I am a player, so even though she likes me, she nexts me.

What's the solution then? The first couple times when I sensed this happening, I immediately called and tried to reassure the girl. The results were poor because I came off as needy. The third time however, I tried something different. I stayed in touch but kept things very mellow. Several weeks later, I called the girl on the phone and reassured her that I liked her yet there were no expectations on my part. The result has been more bangs and a potential long term member of my harem. I plan on using the same method on the current girl who just flaked on me.

Post: #42

Also relevant

Had this happen recently, flaked with no explanation. Sometimes bitches just want to take a ride on a new horse on the carousel.

Post: #43

Sometimes they do. Yet, if you are truly committed to having multiple relationships and f buddies like I am, keep in touch with her while maintaining outcome independence and there's a good chance she'll come back and be on your carousel when she sees how needy, douchy and un-passionate other guys are.

Post: #44

(05-15-2015 01:40 AM)Robert Plant Wrote:  In the year since I've been back in the game, I've banged 10 women.

One went with a more provider type guy.

One who claimed to be polyamorous, threw a fit when she found out I had other women in the mix.

One was just a drunken one night stand who I was unable to integrate into my harem. I did come close though.

I nexted one because because she was getting fat and gross.

Three are still in my rotation.

Three (including one who's still in my rotation) were super warm the few days after we slept together but in a few more days freaked and said stuff about protecting their hearts and trying to not repeat patterns from their past. In other words they got scared by how intense their feelings were.

One is freaking out right now about how intense her feelings are.

So in my experience (based on a small sample size) when girls flake after the bang, it usually has to do with liking me too much, not too little. In other words, a girl senses that I am a player, so even though she likes me, she nexts me.

What's the solution then? The first couple times when I sensed this happening, I immediately called and tried to reassure the girl. The results were poor because I came off as needy. The third time however, I tried something different. I stayed in touch but kept things very mellow. Several weeks later, I called the girl on the phone and reassured her that I liked her yet there were no expectations on my part. The result has been more bangs and a potential long term member of my harem. I plan on using the same method on the current girl who just flaked on me.

So you actually call them and don't text? Interesting. Girls I've tried to call, even most girls I call who I'm banging, won't answer.

I may try this technique but with texting a few weeks later.

Post: #45

I'm experiencing this right now. Banged a 42yo Asian Milf two weeks ago and she was blowing up my phone in the days after the bang wanting to see me again. I was careful to not get into a long text conversation with her and we made plans for her to come to my place the following week on her lunch. She shares custody of her kids and has them one week on, one off so the only time she was available was during her lunch.

On the day of our lunch date she texts me that morning saying she can't make it since she has to go pick up her daughter but wants to meet next week. We make plans to meet after work this last Weds and she flakes again saying she can't make it but can we meet today? Normally I wouldn't tolerate this but she keeps giving counter offers and I've already banged her so I'm going along with this. Well today I still haven't heard from her so I'm just letting it ride and will not be reaching out to her. We'll see if she shows up at my place or contacts me. My money is on radio silence.

Post: #46

She had kids, so you need to factor that into how you deal with her.

And you probably need to define the relationship a bit more

If she's purely a fuck buddy, then you need to describe the protocol and etiquette. "Only call me when you're ready"

If she wants dates and then fucking, she wants a relationship, even if its casual.

Chicks are messy.

WIA

(05-15-2015 11:59 AM)OregonToSoCal Wrote:  I'm experiencing this right now. Banged a 42yo Asian Milf two weeks ago and she was blowing up my phone in the days after the bang wanting to see me again. I was careful to not get into a long text conversation with her and we made plans for her to come to my place the following week on her lunch. She shares custody of her kids and has them one week on, one off so the only time she was available was during her lunch.

On the day of our lunch date she texts me that morning saying she can't make it since she has to go pick up her daughter but wants to meet next week. We make plans to meet after work this last Weds and she flakes again saying she can't make it but can we meet today? Normally I wouldn't tolerate this but she keeps giving counter offers and I've already banged her so I'm going along with this. Well today I still haven't heard from her so I'm just letting it ride and will not be reaching out to her. We'll see if she shows up at my place or contacts me. My money is on radio silence.

Post: #47

(05-15-2015 10:41 AM)robreke Wrote:  

(05-15-2015 01:40 AM)Robert Plant Wrote:  What's the solution then? The first couple times when I sensed this happening, I immediately called and tried to reassure the girl. The results were poor because I came off as needy. The third time however, I tried something different. I stayed in touch but kept things very mellow. Several weeks later, I called the girl on the phone and reassured her that I liked her yet there were no expectations on my part. The result has been more bangs and a potential long term member of my harem. I plan on using the same method on the current girl who just flaked on me.

So you actually call them and don't text? Interesting. Girls I've tried to call, even most girls I call who I'm banging, won't answer.

I may try this technique but with texting a few weeks later.

The one I brought back into the mix, I texted for a few weeks then set up a phone call via text. It was pretty clear she wanted me but was afraid I was just "using her". I just said, "lets go for a relaxed hike, no pressure and I promise I won't seduce you this time." During the hike we made out a bunch and towards the end, she told me she was wet. I told her I had to go, which I did, for another date. The next time we hung out she was 100% DTF even after she pressed me about seeing other women. I just said, "I do have lovers and I want you to be my lover too." We banged that night and spent the night together a couple of days ago.

Post: #48

I've been trying to figure out reasons for flaking for some months as I go along. As a mid 30s guy what's most noticeable is that young girls can just move on quickly after the first bang, even if she the sex literally made her sweat / she asked that you cum in her mouth or whatever else.
It seems they are easily distracted / have plenty of guys hitting up their phone, FB, instant messaging etc; on top of that they still have guys in their social circle, guys in university, guys at work, orbiters and guys they themselves are interested in. It's a lot of factors at play.
Regardless, the prize (banging chicks in their absolute physical prime) outweighs these obstacles. My last bang was a 23 year old.

Post: #49

(05-16-2015 02:41 AM)brick tamland Wrote:  I've been trying to figure out reasons for flaking for some months as I go along. As a mid 30s guy what's most noticeable is that young girls can just move on quickly after the first bang, even if she the sex literally made her sweat / she asked that you cum in her mouth or whatever else.
It seems they are easily distracted / have plenty of guys hitting up their phone, FB, instant messaging etc; on top of that they still have guys in their social circle, guys in university, guys at work, orbiters and guys they themselves are interested in. It's a lot of factors at play.
Regardless, the prize (banging chicks in their absolute physical prime) outweighs these obstacles. My last bang was a 23 year old.

Yes. I'm making an educated guess that I just lost my newest, younger notch to some guy in her social circle. Because of social pressure, social circle makes it harder for a girl to leave. For example if my notch decides she prefers me to the other guy after banging him a few times, she might not leave him because of concern for what her friends will think. No worries though, I still have 3 in my rotation, a few in the pipeline and I'm gonna be traveling for 2 months starting in 3 weeks.

Post: #50

In retrospect it makes sense that the bangs I've rocked their world but acted like it was no big deal got at least one more sex meetup. Its not 100% but prob better than 50%. So no matter how good the sex is act like it's not that big a deal. I would never take one out post bang unless i was worried about her filing false charges. But it seems like something to try. And i can try doing things to avoid the player vibe and report back. I have a few ideas on that.