Post: #26

(05-06-2014 10:46 PM)Brodiaga Wrote:  Got a couple of weeks of vacation time? A bit of money set aside? Fly to South East Asia and get your rocks off, then come back and keep the game going.

There are multiple threads on this forum about cities like Bangkok, Manila and Jakarta. You're pretty much guaranteed to get laid multiple times in any of these cities if you read these threads and follow the advice.

I agree with the Asia idea.

I don't know if your problem was similar to mine, but I've gone years without sex because I don't like getting attached to chicks and then getting blown off as a nice guy; then feeling down and not being in psychological shape to pursue more of them.

But in an environment where you KNOW you can get a new one the next day, and another new one the day after that, your confidence soars and you don't give a shit if she blows you off.

Of course, they sense that, and paradoxically you end up having to be the one blowing off or avoiding THEM.

This changes you whole attitude. The admitted problem is when you come back you don't want to fuck American girls who can sometimes look like men in women's clothing.

But you are young enough you should at least be able to get Asian 7s which are lot easier than white American 7s for a white guy in my opinion.

The problem with the guys here saying just approach approach approach is if you are already depressed, it's like telling someone to "just run 6 minute miles" again and again if they are out of shape. You just can't really do it.

Post: #27

(05-06-2014 06:54 PM)earless Wrote:  not sure if i buy all the PUA stuff yet..most of it sounds cheesy tbh.

OP,

If you are serious about improving and are not broke, hire a (legit) dating coach. There are plenty of PUAs out there with great game, this isn't 2004. Times have changed.

Seeing the pics of yourself you posted and hearing you haven't got laid in 3 years means you're making some major mistakes or have serious sticking points. It's not just that your style could be a little better, or a little incremental improvement here or there. You're doing something seriously wrong. A lot of this could be pointed out to you in one night by someone who knows what he's doing. This is why I say you should hire a coach, reading an ebook probably won't do much for you at all. Once you know what to fix, you can then go about fixing it. Don't be cheap about this too, this is important stuff. Just don't end up paying a charlatan, read some game forums to find out who's legit.

Another option is to try speed dating: this way you get guaranteed many mini-dates where you have a chance of talking to a lot of girls quickly, and so get yourself better at talking to random girls.
Also, don't place all your eggs in one basket of nightgame. Diversify. Join a club that you like, some activity like salsa, some sport, a bartending course, or whatever interests you. Meet girls there too.

(05-06-2014 07:40 PM)earless Wrote:  Also I dont have a wingman, but dont really want one. I feel more pressure to do good when i know someone esle is there to witness my rejections. Its better to slip and fall when no ones is watching.

Dude, that's just your ego talking. F#ck that shit. Your ego is the reason you're in your current situation in the first place. A good wing can help you immensely.

Implement the advice you get here on the forum and good luck.

Post: #28

My guess would be that your lack of sexual self-confidence is keeping you from escalating.

Find a girl, even if she isn't the hottest, and "practice" with her for a while.

Resist the urge you will have to develop feelings for her. Maybe consider a pro. Just to get more confident at sex.

First few times you'll still blow your wad a bit early, but as you get used to it, you'll get better.

Once you prove to yourself that you can wield the god rod, you may start feeling a bit more comfortable escalating with the other women you hit on.

Beyond All Seas

"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe.
To be your own man is a hard business. If you try it, you'll be lonely often, and sometimes
frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." - Kipling

Post: #29

(05-06-2014 06:32 PM)Travesty444 Wrote:  ^

Low 30s in your first 3 years ain't bad at all. You should post some college girl game tips sometime and tell how you got success out of the gates in a thread.

I definitely will, this summer before the guys head to school

I know Gio has good game tips for college girls but I think those are, geared far more towards older guys. When you're in the 18-24 range it's a completely different game.

Post: #30

(05-06-2014 10:01 PM)HankRearden Wrote:  I definitely disagree. How many girls do you know going out solo during the week, who aren't backpackers in Thailand?

I live in a city where people go out seven nights a week, so the dynamics are definitely different.

Post: #31

All good advice here.

Frankly your looks don't seem to be the problem. Style can be improved - you tend to go towards the McQueen kind of style, so you might prefer to go take a look at his site.

After going through the basic info - Roosh's Bang & Daybang, Krauser's Daygame Mastery & Nitro, Heartiste & Rational Male (helps you understand female psychology and maybe take away some of the anxiety)
getting an experienced wingman might really speed up your Game learning curve. You can either get a guy from the forum to meet you up for free or hire a PUA coach. However try to go through the theory first, because otherwise he would have to explain the basics to you which might be time-consuming.

The assistance is not so much in his help to get you laid right now, but in the fact that you recognize the entire vibe & learn by observation. Plus most PUAs have a good understanding of what is lacking with you and can aid you tremendously - in that respect they are by far superior to unconsciously competent Naturals who usually can't teach much.

In fact recently I have even coached a Natural, who became 10x more effective after a couple of days (and I would consider myself a long shot from Master PUA). So no need to feel bad about getting help - if a good-looking Natural who has bedded dozens of 8s and 9s is humble enough to learn from better Players, why should you? In this world there is always someone better you can learn from.

Post: #32

If you're depressed, then start eating right and start lifting. You came to the right place for that too.

Hell, if I need motivation I just read this forum. There are many incredibly guys here.

Post: #33

OP

If what you write is true then when you were in your teens you did more than 1 girl every year from the age of 15. Once you reached 20, you have done 1 girl every 3 years. You did more than 3 times better in your teens. What did you do then that you don't do now?

Post: #34

(05-06-2014 09:59 PM)jariel Wrote:  

(05-06-2014 08:15 PM)Checkmat Wrote:  For what it's worth, you're already doing better than a lot of guys by simply going out every Friday and Saturday.

There have been stretches of time when I've felt so bad/down on myself that I wouldn't go out at all, ever. Just stayed home in my cave as much as possible.

Chances of meeting girls at home: Zero

Chance of meeting girls out of your house even with zero game: SOMETHING

I'm not sure I agree with that, the ROI on Friday and Saturday is crazy low.

Single women, women who don't have a steady man in their life, go out on weekends with friends and other people in their social circles, so even though they are in the club, they are virtually unavailable.

It's better to catch them on nights when they'd go out alone, I've always done well on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Sundays.

I'm not disagreeing with you, but even if the ROI is low on the weekends, it's still THERE.

He is leaving his house which so many guys just don't do. They resign themselves to porn and video games and this guy is actually putting his best clothes on and hitting the pavement.

I commend him for that. Even if it's a 0.0001% chance of him getting laid it's something.

Post: #35

(05-06-2014 07:24 PM)runsonmagic Wrote:  Pick a program. Get started.

Roosh has one and Good Looking Loser has one. Both are good.

Do online dating while you practice. I've written an article on it. Dates will help wash the desperation off.

Enjoy the process. Process over product.

Be willing to fail and laugh at yourself.

Commit to improving daily, like a gym routine. Stick to it.

Good luck.

good looking loser seemed way too hard for me, i got nervous just reading that shit. roosh's program seems more doable..but approaching 100 girls and getting rejected all 100 times is a possible reality for me. I have been rejected and sometimes even patronized by 2's and 3's.

I dnt know about online, you probably have to be decent looking to get girls to reply. I think it might fuck up my confidence worse.

Post: #36

I see two big problems that you need to correct:

1. You see rejection as a bad thing.

Rejection isn't easy to deal with as your just starting out. However rejection is great for your game. Your going to make mistakes, and rejection is the result of those mistakes. Eventually you learn from your mistakes and you stop making them. Your game thus improves by getting rejected.

I get rejected a lot. At this point in my life I just laugh it off. Girl missed out. Thats the attitude you need to have.

2. Your going out specifically to game.

When I go out, I go out with the intentions of having a good time. For me that includes gaming chicks, but it does not revolve around it.

Go out just with intent of having a good time. Invite a buddy or two out. Get drunk. Bar hop. Talk to a few girls without trying to pick them up.


I'll be in boston soon. If you wanna go out PM me and maybe I can help you out.

Post: #37

Internet dating would be your best option if you are terrified of approaching.

Or just approachng a lot more in real life.

I have had frineds go years without getting laid, and at my behest, went out and approached more. They had no game, didnt read any pua stuff, but just talking to more girls will eventually get you laid, if you just dedicate to doing it regularly.

Post: #38

what do you guys think constitutes an "approach"?..I like to sit by the bar especially when its crowded and leave a little space between me and the next person to funnel girls next to me so i can say words to them when they order drinks. Do i count those as "approaches"?

Post: #39

Based off your posts, you seem like you're probably kind of neurotic and low self-esteem. My guess is you've probably internalized a lot of limiting beliefs about yourself and likely give off a weird energy or vibe when you're talking to people if you are so prone to rejection. Your neurochemistry is probably fucked and if you start going out with that mindset and are needy for sex it's gonna crush you.

What you do/say is not nearly as important as where it comes from within you. It's all about the vibe and subcommunications (work on vocal tonality/projection, body language, eye contact, facial expressions--if you're really stifled). It's also important that you become totally comfortable with your own masculinity and sexuality, be unapologetic about it. Be able to communicate with women on the emotional level and focus less on the material content of the conversation.

You can look up RSD for more info on this stuff, you may find bioenergetics (look up Alex Lowen) or reichian therapy (Jack Willis) helpful. The Mood Cure by Julia Ross can help with the neurochemistry and false moods.

Meditate/be mindful
-this will help you relax, be more free flowing during social interactions and notice the negative thought patterns and limiting beliefs you have so you can eradicate them

Observe where you hold tension in your muscles and work on relaxing your musculature at all times, especially while socializing
(ex. jaw, throat, stomach, upper back, eyes/forehead, chest, shoulders)

Diaphragmatic breathing is huge--don't overlook this if you're not already doing it

Dial in your nutrition, sleep (especially important--under-slept=negativity), stress management, exercise

Work on improving your relationship with yourself first.

All day long you should abide by these three things:
-diaphragmatic breathing
-progressively relax your muscles as you notice yourself tense up
-allow yourself to melt into the moment and let go of the mental noise

By doing the above you should find yourself in a position from which you can express yourself in a much more authentic and attractive way.

Feel more, think less.

Post: #40

Earless

Talking to a girl, so long as she notices and reacts in some way, is an approach.

Thats a fine way to get girls to come to you, often you can get a good few minutes while the drink ordering goes down. You will basically need to ramble during these first few minutes and see if you can hook her. Keep it up with that, dont be afraid to try light touching, ie touch her shoulder as you make a point, to test if she is feeling you.

Post: #41

I talked to a two set last night while their were looking at the beer menu..

me: did you guys decide what to get?
them: were getting blah blah
me:Let me say one thing, ive ordered four different beers and they all taste the same to me.
them:haha yeah its all the same shit.
me:But i used to do a lot of cocaine when i was younger so my taste buds are all fucked up, I cant taste anything no more, haha.

they laughed but made weird faces at eachother like saying im a weirdo coke head, the convo died after that. i thought it was good to be funny and edgy, i dont know why they took me serious i tried to convey that i was joking.

Post: #42

Self-deprecating humor isn't attractive. Don't do it.

And definitely don't joke about something that would portray you as a low status guy (like doing drugs to the point where you can't taste shit)...I know it's just a joke but there's high status humor that works way better.

(05-10-2014 10:53 AM)earless Wrote:  I talked to a two set last night while their were looking at the beer menu..

me: did you guys decide what to get?
them: were getting blah blah
me:Let me say one thing, ive ordered four different beers and they all taste the same to me.
them:haha yeah its all the same shit.
me:But i used to do a lot of cocaine when i was younger so my taste buds are all fucked up, I cant taste anything no more, haha.

they laughed but made weird faces at eachother like saying im a weirdo coke head, the convo died after that. i thought it was good to be funny and edgy, i dont know why they took me serious i tried to convey that i was joking.

Post: #43

Yea I dunno about bringing up the ill effects of your drug addiction your third sentence into an interaction. Keep it light, you made the convo a bummer very quickly.

Post: #44

approached 5 sets last night,

set 1: went to up three girls and they straight up ignored me, they literally just stood there and looked at me and never said one word, i even asked if they spoke english..still none of them said anything so i said have a good night and bailed.

set 2: 2 chicks sitting at the bar, i asked them about the wine they were drinking..we did chat for a little bit, but one of them finally said i was interrupting their conversation and pretty much told me to leave.

set 3: next was 3 girls, 2 of them were pretty hot and they werent outwardly mean to me and one of them was drunk and said she felt like dancing, i told her lets go next door cuz theres a dance floor, her friend heard and intervened and pulled her away and shuffled her to some other guys that were next to them.I think that was her was of saying, "wtf are you doing talking to that loser"..this was the best set of the night which is pretty sad.

set 4: Tried lowering my standards by hitting up 2 old hags, one was 46 and her friend was 40. The 40yr old was actually kinda hot(for 40) but after a short convo they turned their backs to me.

set 5: talked to some girls standing outside a bar as i walked out, one said it was her birthday and i said "your celebrating it here?" she gave me a swift "fuck you". She said I was being sarcastic but it was honestly just a question.

Post: #45

^
That's pretty shitty man, though it's not your fault. That's why I pretty much stopped going out to pull girls, to avoid this kind of shit.

Post: #46

(05-11-2014 09:47 AM)earless Wrote:  approached 5 sets last night,

set 1: went to up three girls and they straight up ignored me, they literally just stood there and looked at me and never said one word, i even asked if they spoke english..still none of them said anything so i said have a good night and bailed.

set 2: 2 chicks sitting at the bar, i asked them about the wine they were drinking..we did chat for a little bit, but one of them finally said i was interrupting their conversation and pretty much told me to leave.

set 3: next was 3 girls, 2 of them were pretty hot and they werent outwardly mean to me and one of them was drunk and said she felt like dancing, i told her lets go next door cuz theres a dance floor, her friend heard and intervened and pulled her away and shuffled her to some other guys that were next to them.I think that was her was of saying, "wtf are you doing talking to that loser"..this was the best set of the night which is pretty sad.

set 4: Tried lowering my standards by hitting up 2 old hags, one was 46 and her friend was 40. The 40yr old was actually kinda hot(for 40) but after a short convo they turned their backs to me.

set 5: talked to some girls standing outside a bar as i walked out, one said it was her birthday and i said "your celebrating it here?" she gave me a swift "fuck you". She said I was being sarcastic but it was honestly just a question.

What did your PUA coach say you were doing wrong?
Oh that's right you didn't get one.

What did your wing say your were doing wrong?
Oh wait, you don't have one because you don't want to get blown out in front of some dude.

Did you implement any of the advice given to you on the forum? If so, which?

You are obviously doing something majorly wrong to be consistently getting reactions like that. Don't be tempted to blame the girls for this either, even it may seem that they're being bitches. Think of them as an automated honest feedback mechanism when you do cold approach. They're only being rude to YOU and that's because your game is off. Simple as that.

Post: #47

Calm down Espresso, he approached 5 sets in one night, pretty good for a beginner. I think he should be given credits for that.

OP, keep doing what you are doing. Hell even if you have no game, simply by approaching constantly you will run into something, though it's not the best strategy. But seriously keep grinding on. After 100 approaches you will:

-no longer feel that anxious
-no longer give a fuck about the outcome
-be more suave

If the idea of wingman or coach doesn't appeal to you, then there this thing you MUST try: record yourself. Set your phone on auto-record and put it in your pocket. Or get a mic or something, I don't care. You will be SHOCKED when you listen to yourself again once you are home and taking notes. Psychologically we humans are so trapped in our own world, we have no idea what we are doing is horrible. Listening to yourself, or better yet, video taping yourself might just give you the revelations you need. Plus, you seem like an analytical guy.

This method works wonders for me. I never noticed how fast I was talking and how much I fiddle until I saw and listened to my own self, I was like "Fuck jesus, I would reject myself!" From then I improved fast.

Keep working at it, don't feel discouraged. You don't bench 300lbs overnight. Record the next few sets, reflect on it. Then let us know.

Post: #48

I'll have to disagree with this. The main word is humour. If you actually are making fun of yourself by pointing out serious flaws, that isn't self-deprecating. It's more like "Oh, I bet you're great in bed" and saying "No, I'm a virgin." Keeping it light is key. It also helps if it is a girl you know through your social circle, as opposed to some frosty in a club.

As to the OP, honestly, I think you need to watch someone who is game worthy approach girls. There are so many small cues that you might be giving off that pretty much make your chances nil.

And as others said, don't be afraid of rejection. That just makes things worse. Granted, this is easy to say, and hard to practice, but eventually you'll care less than the girl.

(05-10-2014 11:03 AM)VincentVinturi Wrote:  Self-deprecating humor isn't attractive. Don't do it.

And definitely don't joke about something that would portray you as a low status guy (like doing drugs to the point where you can't taste shit)...I know it's just a joke but there's high status humor that works way better.

(05-10-2014 10:53 AM)earless Wrote:  I talked to a two set last night while their were looking at the beer menu..

me: did you guys decide what to get?
them: were getting blah blah
me:Let me say one thing, ive ordered four different beers and they all taste the same to me.
them:haha yeah its all the same shit.
me:But i used to do a lot of cocaine when i was younger so my taste buds are all fucked up, I cant taste anything no more, haha.

they laughed but made weird faces at eachother like saying im a weirdo coke head, the convo died after that. i thought it was good to be funny and edgy, i dont know why they took me serious i tried to convey that i was joking.

Post: #49

(05-12-2014 01:20 AM)mauds Wrote:  I'll have to disagree with this. The main word is humour. If you actually are making fun of yourself by pointing out serious flaws, that isn't self-deprecating. It's more like "Oh, I bet you're great in bed" and saying "No, I'm a virgin." Keeping it light is key. It also helps if it is a girl you know through your social circle, as opposed to some frosty in a club.

I agree that keeping it light is key but to use your own example, if you say "no I'm a virgin", it's cocky-funny, NOT self deprecating. You're teasing the girl and it isn't at your own expense because you aren't actually a virgin.

I know we're spitting hairs but it's an important distinction. Self-deprecating means you're trashing yourself in the guise of humor. It has a morose, dark undertone and it conveys low value.

Self-deprecating = "I once did so much coke I couldn't smell anything for a week." = low value because you're conveying irresponsibility and self-destruction, which aren't desirable qualities in a man.

Cocky-funny = "How's that drink taste?" "I don't know?" "Wow, you must have done a lot of coke to lose your sense of taste (smirk)" = teasing her.

Two completely different things.

Post: #50

(05-11-2014 09:47 AM)earless Wrote:  approached 5 sets last night,

set 1: went to up three girls and they straight up ignored me, they literally just stood there and looked at me and never said one word, i even asked if they spoke english..still none of them said anything so i said have a good night and bailed.

set 2: 2 chicks sitting at the bar, i asked them about the wine they were drinking..we did chat for a little bit, but one of them finally said i was interrupting their conversation and pretty much told me to leave.

set 3: next was 3 girls, 2 of them were pretty hot and they werent outwardly mean to me and one of them was drunk and said she felt like dancing, i told her lets go next door cuz theres a dance floor, her friend heard and intervened and pulled her away and shuffled her to some other guys that were next to them.I think that was her was of saying, "wtf are you doing talking to that loser"..this was the best set of the night which is pretty sad.

set 4: Tried lowering my standards by hitting up 2 old hags, one was 46 and her friend was 40. The 40yr old was actually kinda hot(for 40) but after a short convo they turned their backs to me.

set 5: talked to some girls standing outside a bar as i walked out, one said it was her birthday and i said "your celebrating it here?" she gave me a swift "fuck you". She said I was being sarcastic but it was honestly just a question.

No offense dude, but that's anti-game. No game is taking to a girl and just getting let down softly, it sounds like women are actively being hostile towards you. I know that someone will go "its feminazis!" but there's a huge difference between the random blow out and having girls straight up disrespect you.

While I can't really tell what you look like, from what I can see you look... average. Like you said, your style isn't horrible. But it isn't good either. Hit the gym and buy some new clothes. Also watch your body language when you talk to girls, there's a good chance that you're getting labeled as a creep because of how present yourself. I'm not saying that to be mean, it's just something that I've observed a hundred times in real life.

My best advice would be to hit the gym, it will do wonders for your confidence, and to go out at least five times a week. Go talk to every girl you can see. Experience is the best teacher and it will make you grow by leaps and bounds.

Lastly, about the coke joke, don't try to be edgy unless you look the part. If you don't have an edgy vibe you just sound like a try hard. There's a big difference between some jacked guy with a mohawk talking about flying birds in with his crew, and some dweeby office worker trying to sound "Dark Triade." Once you get good you can throw in edgy stuff, until then don't bother trying it out.