Post: #1

In some ways, I'm ashamed I don't know this, but always better to ask!

Basically, as part of my dating strategy, I'm doing internet dating. I've got what I think is a great profile. So, I sent a girl a message, which also included some playful questions.

She wrote back saying:

Thank you I'm not really going on dates yet tho, Id like to chat with people for a while and get to know them first, hope that's ok. (She also asked me some fun questions back.)

Obviously, I don't want to be chatting to her online. How can I now get her offline?

(This was actually the first message I sent, so my success rate is actually 100%!)

I did try and do a search for this, but there was nothing there. I suspect this will happen quite a lot, so I want to get this issue sorted now!

Post: #2

This is my first post, as I have for a while now been a follower and a "lurker," but I'm eager to start sharing what I know and what I've learned.

In terms of online dating game, the Ok Cupid thread definitely has the most information, detailing users' actual experiences and how they went from the first message to the number to the bang: How to get laid on Ok Cupid like a boss

From personal experience online and on dating apps, such as Tinder, I can tell that this is a girl who's afraid to go on a date, most likely because she's not used to these online conventions of hooking up. So, if you're looking for a ONS, this is most likely not your girl; anyone who wants to play "I want to learn everything about you through messaging" isn't worth your time.

However, what I have done more than once to score a number online is to say something like, "Let's talk some more and schedule something. What's your number?" If she's not feeling it, not worth your time.

-R

Post: #3

Sounds like she's just on there for validation. It happens. Just push forward with getting her offline like you normally would, but if she insists on keeping it online, I would say just drop her.

Post: #4

I'm a fan of tinder because I can say something like "I hate this app, text me 888-888-8888" and most girls do. I like doing this because it shows they have a desire to do work to talk with me, albeit the tiniest bit but it's either getting a text in ~15 minutes or not getting a reply. If texting you is too much or too 'dangerous' for her than as Renberg said [it's], not worth your time.

On OkC it's bound to be a little tougher, i'd go with you're busy but would like to continue a conversation. You want to talk more but have to go (insert excuse here) and will be away from your computer, then ask for or give her your number.

Post: #5

(05-04-2014 02:25 PM)ryanf Wrote:  Just push forward with getting her offline like you normally would

The problem is that I'm new to this, so don't have a 'normal' way.

I'm probably just going to go with Renberg's suggestion above, unless you have an alternative.

Post: #6

(05-04-2014 03:12 PM)eeneymeeney Wrote:  

(05-04-2014 02:25 PM)ryanf Wrote:  Just push forward with getting her offline like you normally would

The problem is that I'm new to this, so don't have a 'normal' way.

I'm probably just going to go with Renberg's suggestion above, unless you have an alternative.

Forgive me, I'm a little (a lot) hungover today.

His suggestion seems good, I'm personally quicker to just go direct when pushing for a number as a way to screen girls just seeking validation.

Post: #7

Unless anyone comes up with anything better, I'm going to go for a variation on what Renberg said which is:

I would love to chat more with you, but I'm not online very often. What's your number?

We'll see how things turn out...

Post: #8

I know it's cliche, but starting with a casual (read: "non-date") environment like coffee works well for me. Sometimes she will immediately escalate and suggest meeting a few hours later for beer instead.