Post: #1

Well the other night I was out and about drinking and hitting up a few local strip clubs. I then went to my brother house, there was a girl there that I liked. I had been talking to her for about three weeks. When I got over there I started talking to her, and doing my thing. We started foreplay there, then moved on to my friends house, where I have a bed of my own.

We get there and we are already half naked when we get to the house. We head down stairs and shit starts getting real. We are both ass naked, and all of a sudden I can't get it up. So I'm thinking, I'm to drunk. She agrees, and we said we'll try again in the morning.

Well I wake up the next morning, and start kissing on her. This time, I get maybe 50% hard, and then it dies down again. Now I am really looking like a fool. Then I am sitting here trying to explain to her that this has never happened, and she is saying it is alright. And I know damn right its not, and she is thinking the same thing. She then said, that well try again friday.

So my question is, has this ever happened to someone? And how did you come out of it. Because this is by far the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to me in my life. I just recently got out of a four year relationship about a year ago. I also haven't had sex for 9 months. Please someone, I need anything and everything you know, to help me. This shit sucks.

Post: #2

We have all been there. did you just start having sex? this happened to me when i first started. I think it was really think nerves are to be blamed.

I was afine the first few times we banged but then i got too drunk/high, but in the morning i i would be sober and still unable to get it up. I blamed it on having a cold which she was not happy bout. For a while, I thought i had ED at age 19. Lucky for me, this doesnt happen anymore

Post: #3

Yes this happened to me too when I first started, its almost 100% sure that its all about the nerves.

But if you've had plenty of sex before and this is something new, you might want to consider going to the doctor to get checked or something. Also don't drink too much alchohol, it's gonna fuck you up believe me. Some of us just weren't made to pump while drunk.

Post: #4

(01-31-2011 02:05 PM)Stubs Wrote:  So my question is, has this ever happened to someone? And how did you come out of it. Because this is by far the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to me in my life. I just recently got out of a four year relationship about a year ago. I also haven't had sex for 9 months. Please someone, I need anything and everything you know, to help me. This shit sucks.

I believe it has happened to every male, and the older you become, the higher is the chance. May be caused by a lot of factors, including anxiety, lack of sleep or overall tiredness, taking some medicine (including over the counter), or jerking off too much. A very common cause is drinking alcohol, especially low alcohol high calorie drinks things like beer or rum cola. But the most common cause I've seen is skipping the foreplay, and run into the pussy as fast as if your life depends on it. Typically it happens as soon as a guy puts a condom on.

Now what to do? First, relax. This happens much more often that you could imagine, and every girl around has seen it at least once. My impression is that guys tend to overreact in those cases, the girls do not think it is all your fault, in fact quite a few of them think of it as their fault, they cannot turn on a guy. However she is typically there to enjoy your company, not just your dick. So relax, don't show you're angry, don't make up excuses. This is not different from going to a gym and not being able to do five reps of your top weight when you did ten a week ago. Treat it like that.

Once you relaxed, there are several ways to proceed. A most typical I've seen the guys do in this case is to go down on a girl. This works very well as it hides your issues from her eyes, lets her enjoy the show and, for some guys, helps them to get hard. Another option is to ask her to give you a massage - just a regular sensual massage, not dick massage. It helps you relax, and makes wonders on dick department.

So don't worry, take it easy and you'll be fine!

Post: #5

@Stubbs- This happens to me frequently. I spend months at a time not getting laid. My dick don't wanna work the first night I come back to civilization and pull some ass. Not getting hard will mind fuck the hell outta girl. If it happens tell her you're into her but she's moving a bit too fast. This pushes the blame to her. I'll snuggle up with her and go to sleep. The next morning my dick looks like a kickstand....AND IT'S ON LIKE DONKEY KONG!!!!

It also could be a mental block. Coming outta 4 yr. relationship you may be used to having an emotional attachment linked w/ the sex. I ain't no Dr. Phil so ya'll don't start busting my balls. Just throwing out some ideas.

Post: #6

Good points by oldnemesis and Alib, specially the "when putting the condom on". I remember when I first started, that used to happen and I grew so frustrated that I was considering never using a condom again. I re-thinked this carefully and with patience, luckily my girlfriend at the time made it easier for me because she didn't put pressure on me. I managed to overcome the problem and never looked back again, except when I got drunk.

Post: #7

Well It was my 23rd birthday that night. I have had about four sexual partners, never had strange, everyone I have had sex with I was in a relationship. So pretty much all my sexual encounters have been emotional, most likely if it was a relationship. Never had a problem then. But I read Roosh's book "Bang" and decided to sign-up here. I actually used what the book said to tag this girl. And it worked, just not my main man downstairs.

I was also really drunk, because the reason we left the house we were at was because I puked on the bed we were going to have sex on. We didn't even get to the condom part. She was super attractive, probably an 8, low 9. This is really bothering me, I've literally been on the internet all day trying to find answers.

But what really fucked me up, was that I couldn't get it up in the morning. TWICE? Come on.

I appreciate everyones advice, I really think I was nervous. Just because I haven't had sex in 9 months and the last person I slept with was my ex of 4 years. I don't know, I am just really tripping.

Now I am worried about this Friday, and me not preforming. And I can't stop thinking about it, even when I tell myself not too.

Post: #8

Quote:I was also really drunk, because the reason we left the house we were at was because I puked on the bed we were going to have sex on. We didn't even get to the condom part. She was super attractive, probably an 8, low 9. This is really bothering me, I've literally been on the internet all day trying to find answers.

Woah, haha theres your answer.

Regarding the morning after, it might have been caused by a deadly combination of hangover and nerves.

Quote:Now I am worried about this Friday, and me not preforming. And I can't stop thinking about it, even when I tell myself not too.

Don't stress it too much man, I know it's hard not to after the incident but just chill about it and go with the flow, like G said: Don't give a fuck. You'll feel more relaxed. Good luck

Post: #9

Yea, it's easier said, then done. But I've never had the problem, even when I was super drunk. But I'll chill out, and hope everything works out. I'll let everyone know how Friday goes.

Post: #10

What percentage of the time have you not gotten it up?

We're flesh and blood, so demanding 100% performance is unreasonable. Sometimes we drink too much, or we're stressed, or the chick isn't hot enough, or we're at her parents house and scared pops is going to come down. Shit happens. If the girl likes you, she'll be patient, like yours was.

Sex anxiety usually comes from caring too much what girls think about you. It stems from a fear of being judged. If you couldn't get it up for a prostitute, would you care?

Post: #11

I know a guy who carries a whole roll of zanex in his pocket. He never takes them, just having them in his pocket in case he has an anxiety attack keeps him calm. If this happens again, maybe you could carry a viagra around with you so you can have the confidence that if worse comes to worse, you have a guaranteed fall back position of a mighty boner.

Post: #12

This has never happened to me. In fact I've blacked out and banged girls that I don't remember screwing to this day.

I'm just fucking with you. Actually, this has probably happened to me too. I was just too loaded to remember or care. If it makes you feel better, I once got so bent that I pissed on a girl when we were asleep. Needless to say, she didn't find it very kinky.

Hmmmm

Lay off the sauce, don't get high, exercise a lot, and don't beat your dick. If it was me, that's what I would do. I would also have her warm me up for awhile until your ready to get down to business.

That's my two cents for what it's worth. Good luck bro!

Post: #13

Great advice so far. Another small tip, Stub. Be sure to eat a little something earlier that day. We had a thread on this earlier this month. One of the guys said to have a big bag of salty nuts on you...from Target.

February 2 is here so relax and let the glorious arrival of your gorgeous groundhog herald an early spring upon her thirsty body. She will be advertising your prowess for weeks!

Go young lad. Go and do the Giggity!

Post: #14

I know it wasn't because she was hot. I have been beating it a lot lately, probably daily, mostly because I wasn't getting any and was just not feeling great after ending a relationship. But Vesuvius, I've done the same thing in my relationships. Blackout drunk, and preform like a monster. This is another reason why I am a little scared. And Fisto I read about Zanex and how it eases the nerves during sex. Which might be a good idea, since I have a friend that has them. But viagra, I wanna stay away from until I am at least a bit older. And Roosh, No I wouldn't give a shit if I couldn't get it up for a prostitute.

I understand what you are all saying, its just nerve racking.

Post: #15

Another idea is to reframe to another "problem."

Instead of worrying about your boner, worry that you'll come too fast, or that she'll be bad in bed.

From your posts I do sense a confidence issue that is making the anxiety worse. Try reading the book I recommend in this post: http://www.rooshv.com/how-to-deal-with-approach-anxiety

Also, this topic is a troll favorite, so I'm 20% skeptical this is real. If you take our suggestions and it doesn't help, seek out professional help.

Post: #16

Don't stress out man... it happens.

One thing that stood out from your post was that you've been wacking it a lot...

don't beat your meat at least within 24 hours of the possibility of sex. Better yet, if you go for three days or more you'll have the rabid wolf in you.

Post: #17

(02-01-2011 11:25 AM)Roosh Wrote:  Another idea is to reframe to another "problem."

Instead of worrying about your boner, worry that you'll come too fast, or that she'll be bad in bed.

From your posts I do sense a confidence issue that is making the anxiety worse. Try reading the book I recommend in this post: http://www.rooshv.com/how-to-deal-with-approach-anxiety

Also, this topic is a troll favorite, so I'm 20% skeptical this is real. If you take our suggestions and it doesn't help, seek out professional help.

Dude, trust me. I am not trolling, I wouldn't buy your book if I was trolling. And I am sorry if this is a very high risk trolling topic. But this shit was bothering me, and after reading your book and executing your methods and pulling a girl. Then me not being able to perform, I thought this would be a good place to talk about it to see if anyone has had similar problems in the past and how they dealt with them.

I might have confidence issues, I don't know.

Post: #18

It's all cool, but it is indeed a troll favorite kind of topic plus the fact that it was your first post. Hell if that had happened to me while just discovering this place it would be the first thing I'd post, fuck the introduction

Post: #19

(01-31-2011 06:59 PM)Stubs Wrote:  But what really fucked me up, was that I couldn't get it up in the morning. TWICE? Come on.

Depending on what you were drinking, how much you drank and what you ate, it may take up to 48 hours for the alcohol to completely wear off its effects. At the morning? Its a typical hangover time!

Post: #20

(02-01-2011 05:28 PM)oldnemesis Wrote:  

(01-31-2011 06:59 PM)Stubs Wrote:  But what really fucked me up, was that I couldn't get it up in the morning. TWICE? Come on.

Depending on what you were drinking, how much you drank and what you ate, it may take up to 48 hours for the alcohol to completely wear off its effects. At the morning? Its a typical hangover time!

If I just drunk enough to not get fully erect my dick is like a flagpole in the morning. But getting falldown, puking drunk, then no, I'm outta commission till the following evening, or later.

Another issue coming from an ltr is condoms. Chances are you went rawdog for 4 years. I have to train my dick to use condoms after rawdog periods. Crown skinless skin and Kimono microthin are my 2 fav's. Start taking Horny goat weed w/ maca. I can attest to it's effectiveness.

Post: #21

It's nerves bro. Happened to me once too. Tell her to get you hard "with her mouth".

Post: #22

Things change as your body changes with time. Mine has. We were all once young bucks ready to go like jack hammers. I can't do all the things with ease that I did when I was 25.

Perhaps time is catching up to you and you're worried about it. You're swimming around in your head compounding doubt like interest. I agree with the other posters, this is mental.

My hair was falling out and getting gray. I was in London when I first noticed it. My mind was racing through head-banging memories of the day when I had long jet black curly hair that women LOVE! I should have been at the pubs sarging!

Fuck it. I've shaved it off. Stop swimming around in your head man. Shit happens! Adapt Overcome!

Take a break and chill. Get a nice meal, smoke a fatty, do what you do to relax. Paint a self-portrait or something? Just chill and things will take care of themselves.

Post: #23

(02-02-2011 01:43 AM)Vesuvius Wrote:  Things change as your body changes with time. Mine has. We were all once young bucks ready to go like jack hammers. I can't do all the things with ease that I did when I was 25.

Perhaps time is catching up to you and you're worried about it. You're swimming around in your head compounding doubt like interest. I agree with the other posters, this is mental.

My hair was falling out and getting gray. I was in London when I first noticed it. My mind was racing through head-banging memories of the day when I had long jet black curly hair that women LOVE! I should have been at the pubs sarging!

Fuck it. I've shaved it off. Stop swimming around in your head man. Shit happens! Adapt Overcome!

Take a break and chill. Get a nice meal, smoke a fatty, do what you do to relax. Paint a self-portrait or something? Just chill and things will take care of themselves.

Dude thats exactly what I am doing. I'm the oldest out of my friends, not by much but 9 months, and thats all I thought about on my birthday. I know 23 isn't that old, but its just the fact that its gonna keep going up.

Thanks for the advice Ves; it really helped man. Appreciate it.

Post: #24

(02-02-2011 01:43 AM)Vesuvius Wrote:  Things change as your body changes with time. Mine has. We were all once young bucks ready to go like jack hammers. I can't do all the things with ease that I did when I was 25.

Perhaps time is catching up to you and you're worried about it. You're swimming around in your head compounding doubt like interest. I agree with the other posters, this is mental.

My hair was falling out and getting gray. I was in London when I first noticed it. My mind was racing through head-banging memories of the day when I had long jet black curly hair that women LOVE! I should have been at the pubs sarging!

Fuck it. I've shaved it off. Stop swimming around in your head man. Shit happens! Adapt Overcome!

Take a break and chill. Get a nice meal, smoke a fatty, do what you do to relax. Paint a self-portrait or something? Just chill and things will take care of themselves.

I agree with age but I don't think age is the thing of concern when one is 23. When I was 23, I banged this lizard 5 consecutive times (and came each time). She was going for a record, she said her cousin had sexed her man for 10 consecutive times but I said fcuk you, you won't kill me today.

Post: #25

That's very cute & nice. I like in the dress up games.

http://www.gameforgirl.org/