Post: #1

So, I met this girl (exchange student here for a few months) at a party. We met a couple of times. And we went on two dates.

Also, she has some slut signs, including a few piercings.

First date, her tongue was acting out because of a recent piercing (ha), and I didn't try to kiss her, but did escalate physically a bit. Second date, I tried to kiss her before leaving, but it didn't quite get there. Also, she mentioned that she was on her period and didn't want to walk too long, and we sat at a coffee shop earlier than I had planned.

I can tell she's into me, and there's lots of IOIs, but I feel like she's toying with me, and using me as a last resort. Maybe she has a bf back home, or is seeing somebody else here, and weighing her options. Or maybe she's actually not very slutty and likes to take her time.

Our conversations did turn toward sex a couple of times. For e.g, when setting up the first date, she threw a shit test and suggested I bring some friends so we can do something together. I promptly said no, that it's just gonna be me and her. Positive reaction from her after this. During the 2nd date, she brought that up again. So I tried to ignore it, and she seemed to expect an answer. I said "I'm not even banging you yet and you wanna meet my friends? That's a step away from asking to meet my family after having just met. C'mon woman..."

So...some strong IOIs and slut signs here and there, but I really don't know what's up. I have a feeling that if she saw me making out with some chick, she might loosen up a tad. On that note, when we met at parties, I definitely had some minor DHV (girls hugging me, know a bunch of people, saw me having a good time, etc).

Ideally, I should have other girls I am dating, in which case, all of the above wouldn't be an issue. But I don't have any other strong leads at this point.

What do you make of this? Forget about it, approach a bunch, date other girls? Frankly, I'm at a point where I really do not care about women beyond sex. I genuinely do not feel any emotional attachment.

Thanks.

Post: #2

(05-02-2014 06:11 PM)Frank Wrote:  So, I met this girl (exchange student here for a few months) at a party. We met a couple of times. And we went on two dates.

Also, she has some slut signs, including a few piercings.

First date, her tongue was acting out because of a recent piercing (ha), and I didn't try to kiss her, but did escalate physically a bit. Second date, I tried to kiss her before leaving, but it didn't quite get there. Also, she mentioned that she was on her period and didn't want to walk too long, and we sat at a coffee shop earlier than I had planned.

I can tell she's into me, and there's lots of IOIs, but I feel like she's toying with me, and using me as a last resort. Maybe she has a bf back home, or is seeing somebody else here, and weighing her options. Or maybe she's actually not very slutty and likes to take her time.

Our conversations did turn toward sex a couple of times. For e.g, when setting up the first date, she threw a shit test and suggested I bring some friends so we can do something together. I promptly said no, that it's just gonna be me and her. Positive reaction from her after this. During the 2nd date, she brought that up again. So I tried to ignore it, and she seemed to expect an answer. I said "I'm not even banging you yet and you wanna meet my friends? That's a step away from asking to meet my family after having just met. C'mon woman..."

So...some strong IOIs and slut signs here and there, but I really don't know what's up. I have a feeling that if she saw me making out with some chick, she might loosen up a tad. On that note, when we met at parties, I definitely had some minor DHV (girls hugging me, know a bunch of people, saw me having a good time, etc).

Ideally, I should have other girls I am dating, in which case, all of the above wouldn't be an issue. But I don't have any other strong leads at this point.

What do you make of this? Forget about it, approach a bunch, date other girls? Frankly, I'm at a point where I really do not care about women beyond sex. I genuinely do not feel any emotional attachment.

Thanks.

1. Why didn't you kiss her on the first date ? Always go for it !
2. What you do you mean escalated physically ? Details !
3. On her period ? (Shit Test) Sounded like you didn't pass that one.
4. Always have other girls you're seeing (Abundance)
5. No strong leads ? Keep fishing man you're getting it !
6. Sounds like she's toying with you, is there another date planned ?

Summary:
-1st date not much escalation, no kiss, no bang
-2nd date no kiss, threw period shit test out, no bang
-Good job standing your ground on the no friends are hanging with us
-Good job going up to other girls at the party and having a good time (because YOU wanted to)

Conclusion:
-I'd personally next her, but don't burn bridges (you might see her at some party where you're talking up another girl, builds attraction)
-Go cold on her radio silence, see if she acts on it.
-Abundance, get out there are talk to more girls (this is my weakness as most my notches lately from online, but i'm trying to work on it)

Post: #3

Sounds like you haven't gotten her buzzed enough. This chick is gonna be a nightmare without shots.

Post: #4

Agree with Travesty44 & Kaotic

1) Should have pushed further on the first meet
2) If you get her out again, party environment, libations flow, and so should the adventure.

Typical female wishy washy behavior.
You basically have to set the environment and take charge of the fun.

She's in to you, so you should be able to in to her.

WIA

Post: #5

Good attitude about the no friends thing, but no kiss by second date is really losing it. IMO next her for a while but keep that option open. You never know, one night she might get drunk....

Post: #6

Next Her. Not kissing on the first date is kinda of a deal breaker, let alone the second. The fact that you keep pushing to see her comes off a bit needy.

Get more leads!

Post: #7

(05-02-2014 06:53 PM)kaotic Wrote:  1. Why didn't you kiss her on the first date ? Always go for it !
2. What you do you mean escalated physically ? Details !
3. On her period ? (Shit Test) Sounded like you didn't pass that one.
4. Always have other girls you're seeing (Abundance)
5. No strong leads ? Keep fishing man you're getting it !
6. Sounds like she's toying with you, is there another date planned ?

Conclusion:
-I'd personally next her, but don't burn bridges (you might see her at some party where you're talking up another girl, builds attraction)
-Go cold on her radio silence, see if she acts on it.
-Abundance, get out there are talk to more girls (this is my weakness as most my notches lately from online, but i'm trying to work on it)

1. The pierced tongue acting out thing.
2. Light touching, grabbing her to lead the way, grabbed her hand, pinched her ass or went for the ass while I hugged (when greeting her), etc.
3. She let that one out within minutes of meeting. I'm not sure how I should've handled that one. I just laughed, because I really found it amusing she'd bring it up, and said OK, we can sit down.

I think she may have a habit of starting with shit tests. Within 2 minutes of meeting her, during the 1st date, she said something along the lines of "I really like you and everything but I don't really want to be with anyone at this point, and I'm not sure what I want, etc..." I can be somewhat goofy, and my response was in line with that: I laughed, condescendingly tapped her on the forehead, and said she's over-complicating shit with her thinking. Thinking's not good for her face. She tried to protest, but at this point I was just making faces to amplify how stupid I thought she was being.

So I suppose I should just fade out. She claims to not have a local number. The first date was set up when we met at a party, and I got to her place (she lives 5 minutes from me) around 5-10 minutes late, and she was out within minutes. At the end of the first date, we agreed that I'd "surprise" her. So, I just knocked on the door on the 2nd time. She answered, wearing some sweatpants. Chit for 15 secs, she looks at me expectingly, and I said "OK, get dressed. We're going out."

Anyway, so if I fade out, there's no way she can contact me, lest she adds me on FB, finds my room, or approaches me herself at a party. The bar in her building has one every other week, and that's where we met a couple of times.

I'll keep in mind what all of you said.

I agree that getting her (or any girl, really) drunk is probably going to make my life easier. But I quit drinking cold turkey a little over two weeks ago. It's an exercise in self discipline, and also a "health" decision. I was drinking too frequently. I'd go for beers with the highest alcohol content I could find, or if I was feeling cheaper, I'd get a bottle of wine and finish it while watching TV. I was indulging in too much escapism.

At the same time, I was growing more apathetic. I think the drinking definitely had something to do with this. Not just towards college, but towards girls too! I rarely got horny, and only jerked occasionally. Maybe once every week or two. I didn't even think about it. This is probably why I was rarely approaching. I started lifting again about a month ago, and ever since I haven't been drinking, I'm much hornier.

So I will act on the horniness and approach a bunch TODAY. Last night, while writing the OP, I was rationalizing that I am not in the state to approach and game girls. I sort of felt tapped out, all outta juice. I am still somewhat convinced that it's too big a time investment right now, and that I should focus on school, coding, gym, and reading. But that's just hamstering...how hard can it be to take two hours and talk to a bunch of girls? I suppose I just made myself a little comfort zone.

I'll try to think of it as a challenge. "Small Town Germany: Gaming uptight and socially unaware women while sober." Those women really don't know how to flirt...why would I want to hear about her major in social work or environmental studies? Language barrier gets in the way...let's see what happens.

Post: #8

Quite a few typos in that post. Sorry about that.

Alright...so. She has a boyfriend. If I wanna hit that, gotta create a situation where she can chalk it (me banging her) up to randomness. Plausible deniability.

I have no idea if I know how to do that. Gotta start approaching more.

Post: #9

You could have stuck your tongue in her ear.

You could have kissed but with no tongue.

My best success of dealing with the period shit test, when she says "but I'm on my period" is to reply with "so?" or "yeah, and?" or something to that effect.

I would chalk this up and work on developing other leads.