Post: #26

(04-24-2014 04:22 PM)el mechanico Wrote:  But. How often are the dudes who engage in the "shaming" getting tail?

I have a one long and many stories to tell about this over the last 30 years and there's many more things that come into play here..I was thinking about starting a "Would you sport it" thread like to a family wedding or walking in the mall in your hometown but the clizowns on my other thread made me think the standard would shoot over the moon to mars.

Disagree with your bringing up your thread as an example. You asked guys if they would bang them, not if they would shame or be ashamed of a friend banging them.

Very different concept. There's plenty of girls I would not bang because they're not my preference but at the same time I would be happy for another guy to be happy banging her and thinking she was hot. To each their own. I thought that was the point of your thread, just to see what other guys found bangable vs not. Not to bring each other down.

Post: #27

(04-24-2014 08:30 AM)Beyond Borders Wrote:  

(04-24-2014 08:24 AM)Mage Wrote:  I believe this is not a natural phenomena. This is western group think party line drumming phenomena. Because I do not observe this here in second world at all.

The natural behavior for men is to point out a nice ass walking by and share a related dirty joke and a laugh.

I'm not so sure. I see it in Southeast Asians - shaming each other about dark girls vs white-skinned girls. I see them shaming "farangs" for this too. My Thai buddies always clowned me (and each other) about girls; it's just presented as jokes in person.

Hell, look at all the Asian supremacy trolls we get coming on this forum to rant about how much better the girls they get are.

Asians are well known for their racial purity opinions.

But it is not a natural behavior to worry for a man dating women of other races. It is natural to shun women who date men from other races trough. That is because it is a mans natural instinct to conquer other races while keeping his women only his.

Post: #28

(04-25-2014 03:11 AM)Mage Wrote:  Asians are well known for their racial purity opinions.

We are? That's news to me.

Maybe for marriage - and even that's questionable (both sides of my family have been marrying out since my grandparents generation), but banging? Nah!

Quote:But it is not a natural behavior to worry for a man dating women of other races. It is natural to shun women who date men from other races trough. That is because it is a mans natural instinct to conquer other races while keeping his women only his.

That I agree with.

However, IRL, I don't think I've ever had any man shame me for my choice of girls based on race or ethnicity, and I mostly date out of my race & ethnicity. Usually it's age (too young or too old), height (too tall), weight (both too thin or too thick), personality (esp if she's feminine and submissive, second is too slutty), political belief (left shaming right) and religious belief (atheist shaming Christian).

Post: #29

(04-24-2014 08:30 AM)Beyond Borders Wrote:  

(04-24-2014 08:24 AM)Mage Wrote:  I believe this is not a natural phenomena. This is western group think party line drumming phenomena. Because I do not observe this here in second world at all.

The natural behavior for men is to point out a nice ass walking by and share a related dirty joke and a laugh.

I'm not so sure. I see it in Southeast Asians - shaming each other about dark girls vs white-skinned girls. I see them shaming "farangs" for this too. My Thai buddies always clowned me (and each other) about girls; it's just presented as jokes in person.

Hell, look at all the Asian supremacy trolls we get coming on this forum to rant about how much better the girls they get are.

As I South Asian man myself I can tell you that is definitely true and its not just men who shame other men for liking darker skinned girls. The perception of beauty in our culture revolves around the concept that fairness = attractiveness. All the older Indian people I meet are completely obsessed with being lighter skinned. That's one of the reason why Indian people aren't too concerned about their children dating white people, but are against them dating black people.

Post: #30

I think it is very simple. It is trying to maintain social hierarchy as defined by the ability to get women by shaming guys who hack the system.

It's the saying "It's not enough that I succeed, others need to fail".

It's a very primitive (in the primal sense) power play. These guys might have some social credit from getting the most women in a smaller social group/niche or they might have much of their identity invested in their ability to get women. In any case, the fact that someone who would get less women than them in their preferred hunting grounds, can go somewhere else and get laid, challenges either their social standing or self esteem.

Post: #31

(04-24-2014 04:22 PM)el mechanico Wrote:  

Quote: Men putting forth their sexual preferences while simultaneously cutting down another man's sexual preferences is simply another way to make a grab for higher status. Sexual selectivity can be a symbol of status. This is only if a man can display that quality correctly.

But. How often are the dudes who engage in the "shaming" getting tail?

I have a one long and many stories to tell about this over the last 30 years and there's many more things that come into play here..I was thinking about starting a "Would you sport it" thread like to a family wedding or walking in the mall in your hometown but the clizowns on my other thread made me think the standard would shoot over the moon to mars.

That's why I said it is only if he can display sexual selectivity properly.

An example of this would be point out a 7 to Leonardo DiCaprio and asking him, "Would you bang?"

If he said "no", I would understand because he bangs VS supermodels on the regular.

If you pointed out a 7 to some server at AppleBee's and asked him "Would you bang?"

If he said "no", then rambles off some long explanation as to why, I know he's just trying to BS me into thinking he's really good with girls or is high status.

One last thing, under the right conditions, I would probably bang around 80% of the girls in the would you hit it thread.

Post: #32

• but why ask another man if he would bang ?
• what makes a celebrities preference more important or relevant than yours ?
• whose dick are you going to use when having sex with a woman you find attractive ?

Quote:Men putting forth their sexual preferences while simultaneously cutting down another man's sexual preferences is simply another way to make a grab for higher status.

...and what if their idea of beautiful is ugly to another man ?

I agree it is a status play, but you gotta ask yourself...what kind of guy has to put others down to feel good about himself ? Is this the kind of guy you would take seriously ?

Post: #33

(04-24-2014 08:14 AM)Beyond Borders Wrote:  I'm honestly curious what it is, from a scientific point of view, that makes guys so vehement about their taste in women that they shame other men for theirs.

I would say this - I am unable to tell if a guy is good looking. Completely blind to it. Give me two pictures and say 'which is better looking', and outside of major disfigurements I would get it right 50% of the time.

But I CAN judge the women you are with, and rather instantly. So I use the women I see a guy with to classify his attractiveness.

So given that as the frame, using the rest of your delineations:

Quote:- I've seen guys who like thick women shaming guys who like slender women - "You're not man enough for a real woman." "You like girls with the body of a 12-year-old boy."
- Guys who like slender women shaming guys who like thick women. "Hey if you like fat bitches, have at it."

I prefer slender



We could go on, but start with that two.

I have a friend, also white but really into Asian girls. He once started dating a girl I would have called a 5 because she was pudgier than a normal Asian. But at one point he told me 'it isn't often I find an Asian with D cup breasts', and he was right. By underestimating the value of the girl I was underestimating HIS value. I had no idea how difficult it was to find a D cup Asian, it isn't my scene and D cup white girls aren't terribly rare (especially if you can tolerate pudgy).

The same could go with tats, Juggalos, dating bloggers, one per-centers, etc. If a guy is getting defensive, he is basically saying 'you are missing what I accomplished here'.

Post: #34

Does anyone else find this ironic?:
This thread /thread-35483.html where a lot of people are bashing Clooney's new girl started just days after this thread where people are saying don't bash a man's choice of girl.

Post: #35

^ not surprised at all.

Post: #36

I think they aren't totally confident about their own choice so they aha me the other guys choice to bolster their confidence: "he's wrong, and therefore I'm right and special"

But some times the shaming is necessary. I don't think it's healthy for guys to be going out with fat girls I general because it bolsters fat acceptance.

That said, it seems like butterface girlfriends are ok, if the guy comes from low class background, it make sense. But if they guy comes from class or is trying to increase his game or class, it's seems off.

But hey, I shouldn't talk maybe because i did bring a one armed girl back to
My house and get tits out and she punched really hard with her other fist. Reminded me of a fiddler crab.

Post: #37

(04-27-2014 06:32 PM)soup Wrote:  But hey, I shouldn't talk maybe because i did bring a one armed girl back to
My house and get tits out and she punched really hard with her other fist. Reminded me of a fiddler crab.

I love you.

Maybe not always, but I sure as shit do right now.

Beyond All Seas

"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe.
To be your own man is a hard business. If you try it, you'll be lonely often, and sometimes
frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." - Kipling

Post: #38

(04-27-2014 06:32 PM)soup Wrote:  But some times the shaming is necessary. I don't think it's healthy for guys to be going out with fat girls I general because it bolsters fat acceptance.

Disrespect needs to be shamed. I don't care if a fat girl finds love and happiness with a guy that likes that sort of thing;

As long as they are both respectful people, I would not care where, how, or with whom other people found their happiness.

Post: #39

Post: #40

It's a natural male desire to compete. To feel validated about their own life decisions by subtly (or not so) taking down some other guy's point of view and/or actions.

To me, I just laugh it off. Try this: when you're with a guy state a quality dish you like to make. Chances are, he may retort by (maybe) replying to what you said, but I bet he'll mention his own favorite dish...which is a sly way of trying to one up you. It'd be better if the man in this scenario would not feel threatened and instead just shared his input on the dish at hand, like any other normal conversati

Now, take this idea and put it to when a guy says something like, "I just hooked up with this amazing new girl." He's happy and excited to share the story to his buddy...and the buddy will probably reply with his own recent victories or try to talk up his own game skills.

Just be aware of it, don't take it personally, smile quietly and don't make a fuss. Some men just need to boast. If they truly try to bring down your action or the girls you find appealling, then they're not someone of character worthy for a long-term friendship. Friends support each other, they don't try to one-up each other continually. That just gets exhausting.

Post: #41

Everyone likes to feel relevant to everything, and promoting your own preferences over someone else's makes you more relevant. It's just basic libido justification and one-up man-ship.

It doesn't affect you, so who cares?

Post: #42

(04-28-2014 01:58 AM)TheChef Wrote:  It's a natural male desire to compete. To feel validated about their own life decisions by subtly (or not so) taking down some other guy's point of view and/or actions.

To me, I just laugh it off. Try this: when you're with a guy state a quality dish you like to make. Chances are, he may retort by (maybe) replying to what you said, but I bet he'll mention his own favorite dish...which is a sly way of trying to one up you. It'd be better if the man in this scenario would not feel threatened and instead just shared his input on the dish at hand, like any other normal conversati

Now, take this idea and put it to when a guy says something like, "I just hooked up with this amazing new girl." He's happy and excited to share the story to his buddy...and the buddy will probably reply with his own recent victories or try to talk up his own game skills.

Just be aware of it, don't take it personally, smile quietly and don't make a fuss. Some men just need to boast. If they truly try to bring down your action or the girls you find appealling, then they're not someone of character worthy for a long-term friendship. Friends support each other, they don't try to one-up each other continually. That just gets exhausting.

This is good advice.

Beyond All Seas

"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe.
To be your own man is a hard business. If you try it, you'll be lonely often, and sometimes
frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." - Kipling

Post: #43

It's not women in particular, it's anything. If you like indie music and I like heavy metal, we don't talk to each other, and we will argue indefinitely over which music is better. It's not the right way to be, it's just easy to mentally reconcile and behave, as though everything were either 1 way or the other with no space in between. The mark of a simple, unadventurous, typical person.

Not that I'm hating. That's just the truth as I understand it.

Post: #44

In the military, I was the one always getting ragged on about the women I picked up. I I remember one time, I picked up a Puerto Rican in her late 40s at the Fort Benning NCO club, she was more than twice my age at the time. And a bit chubby. But a nice face, hair and pleasant company in English or Spanish. The next morning, I met her son, who was my age and in the Navy. That was awkward. Anyways, the other guys were on about what a "beast" she was. Guess what? I got laid, they didn't.

A few times I was directly propositioned by women. Some were fat, some were old, coke bottle glasses, etc. I didn't say no if I had the time.

I always thought the guys who were holding out for a particular type or a very high standard (and never got it) and went on about who I just fucked just had low libido. I had crappy game, but I would approach and try, anyways.

Post: #45

I think there is a biological reason and perhaps I can explain what it is.

Real simple: For the same reason sluts shame each other. They want to increase the price of their pussy.

Likewise, if men are sleeping around and fucking anything, does that help other men? Or will the value of the ugly pussy increase because she is getting a young handsome man to dote on her? Dick is already pretty worthless, but when you see a ripped shredded man fucking a fat beast, other women see it and think to themselves - "If that fat ugly woman can get that level of a man, that means I can do at least as good too."

So when men slum it up, it makes it harder for guys to get the hotter pussy. Thus men will shame each other in order to keep the price of dick higher.

Post: #46

(06-23-2014 12:00 AM)Samseau Wrote:  Likewise, if men are sleeping around and fucking anything, does that help other men? Or will the value of the ugly pussy increase because she is getting a young handsome man ?

when you see a ripped shredded man fucking a fat beast, other women see it and think to themselves - "If that fat ugly woman can get that level of a man, that means I can do at least as good too."

So when men slum it up, it makes it harder for guys to get the hotter pussy. Thus men will shame each other in order to keep the price of dick higher.

This would be true if ALL or a MAJORITY of men began having sex with low quality women.

Situations like the one you describe would be considered an anomaly.

Anomalies are not enough to effect sexual market value.

Sexual market value and entitlement is related to M/F ratio's

Imagine a tiny town with 15 ripped muscular guys, 10 average guys and 50 attractive women; how valuable would men be compared to women?

Now imagine the same town with 10 attractive women, 5 average women, 10 ugly women and 50 ripped muscular men; how valuable would those same men be ? compared to women.

Post: #47

(04-24-2014 10:15 AM)runsonmagic Wrote:  It's tribal.

If you start marrying the foreign women, pretty soon you're worshiping their gods, and white knighting their babies. Can't have that. Tribe only.

Evolutionarily, men can only help raise and protect a certain number of children at any one time. He would therefore prefer to mate with women whose children will be the best, and possibly protect him in old age.

And there is evolutionary drive to want others in your tribe to also choose good breeding stock as well. Plus, how cohesive can a tribe be if there are every different race in it? Maybe it could be cohesive in certain situations, but most likely not.

So basically we are saying to each other "Dude!! We don't want to waste our freshly killed meat raising THAT chicks kids!!"

Another thing is that we might be trying to understand what advantages we see in our particular style of women. Women do this with individual men, advising each other. We do it with broad types of women.

Though I'm betting the biggest factor is the ego boost we get from feeling our women are better...

Post: #48

(06-23-2014 10:42 PM)velkrum Wrote:  

(06-23-2014 12:00 AM)Samseau Wrote:  Likewise, if men are sleeping around and fucking anything, does that help other men? Or will the value of the ugly pussy increase because she is getting a young handsome man ?

when you see a ripped shredded man fucking a fat beast, other women see it and think to themselves - "If that fat ugly woman can get that level of a man, that means I can do at least as good too."

So when men slum it up, it makes it harder for guys to get the hotter pussy. Thus men will shame each other in order to keep the price of dick higher.

This would be true if ALL or a MAJORITY of men began having sex with low quality women.

Situations like the one you describe would be considered an anomaly.

Anomalies are not enough to effect sexual market value.

Sexual market value and entitlement is related to M/F ratio's

Imagine a tiny town with 15 ripped muscular guys, 10 average guys and 50 attractive women; how valuable would men be compared to women?

Now imagine the same town with 10 attractive women, 5 average women, 10 ugly women and 50 ripped muscular men; how valuable would those same men be ? compared to women.

If the odds were so favorable for men, do you think any of the men would shame each other for their sexual choices? Or would they be too busy getting laid

Post: #49

It's just a pissing contest and a ridiculous attempt for whoever is doing the shaming to increase their sexual market value in front of other men. I suspect those who do it are a) insecure or b) not getting any, because if you're getting laid on a regular basis you couldn't give a fuck about what other men's tastes in women are.

Post: #50

(04-24-2014 08:30 AM)Beyond Borders Wrote:  

(04-24-2014 08:24 AM)Mage Wrote:  I believe this is not a natural phenomena. This is western group think party line drumming phenomena. Because I do not observe this here in second world at all.

The natural behavior for men is to point out a nice ass walking by and share a related dirty joke and a laugh.

I'm not so sure. I see it in Southeast Asians - shaming each other about dark girls vs white-skinned girls. I see them shaming "farangs" for this too. My Thai buddies always clowned me (and each other) about girls; it's just presented as jokes in person.

Hell, look at all the Asian supremacy trolls we get coming on this forum to rant about how much better the girls they get are.

Its just jealousy on many levels...most of the people spouting that are not getting laid nearly as much as the person they are directing that sentiment to, so they have to do something to make themselves appear better than the person who has what they feel that they can't get.

That's pretty much it.

This is why its good to have VERY few freinds (people you actually hang out with) and MANY acquaintences and connections. (People who know you but you spend minimal time with)

Also its why you keep your personal gaming life FAR FAR FAAAAR away from knowledge of your freinds/acquaintences, the only thing They should know is that you see lots of women. Then that's where the conversation ends, you don't give them advice on women, you don't even bring up women to them, just nod and let them keep talking to themselves about it.

They don't understand. Will never understand, and if anything have some resentment towards you on some level.