Post: #1

This is going to sound pathetic...but i need to get it off my chest.

I have always considered myself a late bloomer growing up. Crooked teeth, an under bite which results in a protruding jaw, and a deviated septum are the main flaws I had and I was made fun of as a kid a lot for it.

As I got older I seemed to grow into myself a bit more, but I still carried these insecurities. I joined the military and was recommended reconstructive jaw surgery. They would give me braces and then do the surgery after. This would also include fixing my crooked nose. I was so happy to hear this.

But as I lived my life waiting on this to happen, I still find myself very insecure. I remember walking into hollister with my friend because he was looking for swim trunks. The girl working there asked if we wanted to apply for jobs there. She had us fill out our info and said she would call us. As we walked out my friend said "man Im not working there. They judge you strictly on looks and I dont wanna **** with that. But remember dude, you have 'the look'". It felt good to know that I was apparently good looking enough to be offered a job at a shallow clothing store, but for some reason, I couldnt believe it. I know my friend is a handsome guy, and I assumed that they were really asking him and didnt wanna come off rude to me so they asked me too. But I did get a call from them a few weeks later. My friend then said "well man they didnt hit me up. So obviously you must be a decent looking dude if they hit you up". But i still didnt buy it...I thought they must of just picked random numbers to call...lol

I have had girlfriends, hookups, and girls who seem interested in me. But for some reason I still cant accept myself. I remember my gf at the time and I got into a huge argument. When I went over to her house to talk it out, she was drunk. And then she went off saying "you know whats so annoying about you?! you could get any girl you want, and for some reason you settle for me. You talk about your jaw and stuff, but you are so insecure that you settle for people!". That was weird to hear. But once again...i just found it hard to believe. I know that sounds ridiculous, but I assumed she was drunk and was just speaking out of her own insecurities.

I find that I have an unhealthy way of comparing myself to my friends. I always notice how more girls will go for my friends or how its easier for them to get them. I take notice on how different they act around my really good looking friends. I almost feel like a lot of my friends are good looking dudes in the top level of looks, and im just below the top. I always think if i could just get these flaws fixed i would be in that same level as them.

Now i got braces a year ago and my teeth are nearly perfect. But sadly...im getting out of the military and im getting out before i can do my surgery...and that is pretty ****ty. Now that im about out, im obsessing about my looks even more because i know i wont get the surgery for some time or its at least not guaranteed.

I hit an all time low tonight when i came across a site called beautifulpeople.com. Its a site where you make an application profile, and people on the site vote/judge your looks to see if you are accepted. I ended up making 3 or 4 profiles. one of myself and the others of my friends who im comparing myself too. It ****in killed me to see how some of them were accepted on the meter so easily and i was either below the line and then eventually down more and more. I always knew some of them were better looking, but is it really that off?

I know this is very very shallow. Trust me im aware...but it really irks me and has become a problem. i need a therapist i think...or to get this **** fixed so i can finally be ok with myself...idk.

Post: #2

Yes, get your head together. Get a shrink. I can't diagnose you except to give a first impression to say that your biggest problems are in your head at this point.

Post: #3

You can never bee too ripped brah. I know that feel. The best way to deal with it is to have one appearance goal at time. For example, get to 8-9%bf and stay there, you will be tempted to go lower but then go to building mass and when you hit 200lbs stop and go to skin improvement, tan and clearness. You may be tempted to become a gay4pay pornstar in a shithole in Herzegovina so you can have means to fund your goals but it'll pass and you'll get a degree, find a nice job and be a shredded cunt. With time your obsession will become even worse but you'll have your facebook profile to get ego kicks.

My point is, there is nothing wrong with having obsession but always have a plan B because looks aren't a permanent asset even on men.

Post: #4

I would look into speaking with a professional about your issues with your self-image. For what it's worth, though, you may be projecting men's general obsession with looks onto women, which would be a mistake.

Men and women are entirely different creatures, and while both are attracted to looks and physique, for women this is not nearly as important as with men. Women are primarily attracted to status and power, with traits like looks, muscularity, height, wealth, charm, intelligence, humor, etc. all coming into play.

While an ugly women is pretty much SOL in today's dating marketplace, an ugly man can easily make up for a physical deficiency with a commensurate increase in status or wealth (or wit, charm, muscularity, and so on). It's why people immediately assume that a model walking hand in hand with an older man is a gold digger-they intuitively understand that he must be compensating for one unattractive trait (increased age) with something else that attracts women (generally wealth). Women don't have this ability; no man lusts after Oprah because of her wealth and power.

While it is unfortunate that you don't believe yourself to be physically attractive (and going by your own words that may not even be the case), this is not nearly as big of a deal as you make it out to be. Instead of complaining about your weaknesses, focus on minimizing them (in this case perhaps by lifting weights and dressing in stylish, fitting clothes) while maximizing your strengths. Hone your wit and charm by reading interesting books and doing interesting things. Improve your confidence by constantly approaching women and learn to laugh off rejection. Work on saving money and improving your career. Build up a network of friends and watch your social status rise.

Be thankful that you're a man and have the ability to improve in this manner. With even just a few months of concentrated self-improvement, you could find yourself an entirely different person.

Post: #5

OP, It's all in the way you carry yourself.
Girls almost innately sense a man's ego.
Just walk around like you're the king of the world, chat with everyone at a party like you don't give a fuck, be aloof with everyone. Don't be the guy in the corner nursing his drink.
You are stepping on your own feet too much.
In the morning, while you shave, talk to the mirror. Self-boosting exercises.
"Alright you sexy motherfucker, gonna get you lookin sharp like the take no prisoners beast you are."
It may sound ridiculous, but just start doing it, incessantly over-inflate your own image in the morning, because even an overinflated leaky tire is still inflated by the evening.

Post: #6

The only thing I would recommend is to take a look at this thread.
/thread-30014....disfigured

Post: #7

Stop being such a fucking woman. The problem isn't your looks, it's your insecurity.

Quote:I hit an all time low tonight when i came across a site called beautifulpeople.com. Its a site where you make an application profile, and people on the site vote/judge your looks to see if you are accepted. I ended up making 3 or 4 profiles. one of myself and the others of my friends who im comparing myself too. It ****in killed me to see how some of them were accepted on the meter so easily and i was either below the line and then eventually down more and more.

This is so fucking pathetic. I can't believe a former military man would do this. It sounds like something a 15 year old girl would be doing.

Are you a man, or are you a teenage girl? Why are you so obsessed with your looks? You realize the measure of a man is not, and has never been his looks, right? Why are you so obsessed with being a pretty boy? Are you a homosexual?

If I'm coming across as mean, good. It's what you need to hear. You aren't behaving like a man, which is the root of the problem. You need to snap out of it. You don't need your hand held by anyone on this forum, or worse, a shrink. You need to grab your fucking balls and get on with your life and stop wishing you looked like the guy on the cover of Tiger Beat.

Nobody gives a fuck whether you are good looking or not. Men don't respect men for their good looks, and women aren't primarily attracted to looks either. The problem is your weepy chode personality more than anything. I recommend you join a boxing or MMA gym and start sparring regularly. It will be a good physical wake up call and will be a very concrete demonstration that your looks aren't nearly as important as you think.

As a man, life is 90% about what you DO and 10% about what you ARE. Don't have the best facial aesthetics? Boo fucking hoo. Life isn't fair. Just means you'll have to work harder and be more aggressive. You know, like a man does.