Post: #1

Hi guys
Last friday i went out with a couple of friends to a bar and then we went to a disco. I have been dating a girl for some weeks, and oddly enough i found her at the disco with her group of friends, all being women(7) dancing together. I said hi to her and started to dance with her, but i felt like she was on another planet, kinda like she evaded me. I asked her if i made her feel unconfortable with her group of friends and she told me "its my ladies night". I tried to kiss her but she refused so i said "ok" and left her a little bit abruptly. I went to another part of the disco and started dancing with other girls with my group of friends. Like 2 hours later she left the disco with her friends without saying goodbye.

What do you think about this? did i do the right thing just leaving her with her friends?
Should i next her? radio silence? it pisses me off that she behaves in one way when we are alone, and a completely freezing way when she is around her friends...

Post: #2

She's over it.

Would she have acted this way if she was into you?

Nope.

Move on.

Beyond All Seas

"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe.
To be your own man is a hard business. If you try it, you'll be lonely often, and sometimes
frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." - Kipling

Post: #3

You're a hook up bro. She's out with her skank posse trolling for cock and attention. If she kissed you she'd be marked as taken and she'd get neither that night.

Post: #4

"Worlds are colliding!!!"

The American TV show Seinfeld addressed this (see clip below).

Some people "compartmentalize" relationships and friendships. They like to keep them separate. In the Seinfeld episode, George wanted to keep his relationship separate from his friends because he felt there were two sides to him that he couldn't reconcile. This might be what's happening with your girl, unless there is some tension or problem you've overlooked.

I'm guilty of doing this myself.

I once dated someone who worked in the same building. But also in that building I had my "guy posse."

One day, the woman I was seeing came upstairs to talk to me when I was with my boys. I wasn't mean, but I pretty much had nothing I could think of to say. "Worlds were colliding!!" She was annoyed at me, but when you walk in on a group of opposite-sex-friends doing their thing, this often happens, no matter if you're male or female.

(Addendum: I would have posted more or better clips from Seinfeld, but most have a mandatory 15-second commercial and I refuse to post those. The Google Industrial Complex should not be monetizing on my watch. I also refuse to watch any video where you can't opt out of the commercial after five seconds.)

Post: #5

(04-13-2014 11:33 AM)orko Wrote:  Hi guys
Last friday i went out with a couple of friends to a bar and then we went to a disco. I have been dating a girl for some weeks, and oddly enough i found her at the disco with her group of friends, all being women(7) dancing together. I said hi to her and started to dance with her, but i felt like she was on another planet, kinda like she evaded me. I asked her if i made her feel unconfortable with her group of friends and she told me "its my ladies night". I tried to kiss her but she refused so i said "ok" and left her a little bit abruptly. I went to another part of the disco and started dancing with other girls with my group of friends. Like 2 hours later she left the disco with her friends without saying goodbye.

What do you think about this? did i do the right thing just leaving her with her friends?
Should i next her? radio silence? it pisses me off that she behaves in one way when we are alone, and a completely freezing way when she is around her friends...

If you are actually considering her as LTR material, then yes, next her immediately. If she's just a hook up? Leave her where she is, don't spend any money/resources on her, and enjoy the hook up. The minute she gives you any additional grief, drop her as a plate.

Post: #6

(04-13-2014 12:08 PM)ryanf Wrote:  

(04-13-2014 11:33 AM)orko Wrote:  Hi guys
Last friday i went out with a couple of friends to a bar and then we went to a disco. I have been dating a girl for some weeks, and oddly enough i found her at the disco with her group of friends, all being women(7) dancing together. I said hi to her and started to dance with her, but i felt like she was on another planet, kinda like she evaded me. I asked her if i made her feel unconfortable with her group of friends and she told me "its my ladies night". I tried to kiss her but she refused so i said "ok" and left her a little bit abruptly. I went to another part of the disco and started dancing with other girls with my group of friends. Like 2 hours later she left the disco with her friends without saying goodbye.

What do you think about this? did i do the right thing just leaving her with her friends?
Should i next her? radio silence? it pisses me off that she behaves in one way when we are alone, and a completely freezing way when she is around her friends...

If you are actually considering her as LTR material, then yes, next her immediately. If she's just a hook up? Leave her where she is, don't spend any money/resources on her, and enjoy the hook up. The minute she gives you any additional grief, drop her as a plate.

Well she could be LTR material, but after her actions it seems its not the case...

Post: #7

Had a similar situation, but she ignored me in front of MY friends (she was with me). As much as I liked her, when we were alone. NO relationship material, after she did this repeatedly for a prolonged period of time I said goodbye.

Post: #8

She wouldn't keep it a secret if she really liked you. Can kids keep secrets about their favorite toys and candy? Nope.

Post: #9

The BEST move when you're at the same joint as a girl you're fucking, is to hang with your buddies and let HER search YOU out.

It screams non-needy, aloof and that you have your own life.

If/when she approaches you, act chill, laid back and if she wants to hang with you so be it, but let her make the move.

This happens to me regularly and it's the best move. Their hamsters start spinning at the speed of light etc.

Post: #10

Yea that's true Christian. Ignoring a girl is the biggest hamster spin you can do next to not busting a nut during sex.

Post: #11

(04-13-2014 06:39 PM)Christian McQueen Wrote:  The BEST move when you're at the same joint as a girl you're fucking, is to hang with your buddies and let HER search YOU out.

It screams non-needy, aloof and that you have your own life.

If/when she approaches you, act chill, laid back and if she wants to hang with you so be it, but let her make the move.

This happens to me regularly and it's the best move. Their hamsters start spinning at the speed of light etc.

Well the thing is that she came to say hi in the disco, so i thought she would like me to be with her that night... Also her friends knew that something was going on between us....

Post: #12

" i found her at the disco with her group of friends, all being women(7) dancing together. I said hi to her and started to dance with her"

You approached her or she approached you?

Regardless if she approached you, do this instead:

"Gonna grab a drink with my buddies. Catch you later."

Then YOU walk away leaving you with the power.

Post: #13

(04-13-2014 07:42 PM)Christian McQueen Wrote:  " i found her at the disco with her group of friends, all being women(7) dancing together. I said hi to her and started to dance with her"

You approached her or she approached you?

Regardless if she approached you, do this instead:

"Gonna grab a drink with my buddies. Catch you later."

Then YOU walk away leaving you with the power.

It was like this:
One of my friends went to the other side of the disco and came back to me telling me that my girl was there with a group of her friends. She said hi to him and told him that she was going to say hi to me, which she did. The rest of the story is already known...

thanks for your advice. But what do you suggest, should i next her? radio silence?

Post: #14

I would give her the silent treatment.

She disrespected you.

What girl who's actually into a guy would turn AWAY from a kiss around her friends?

A girl that is simply not that into you.

Post: #15

(04-13-2014 11:33 AM)orko Wrote:  Hi guys
Last friday i went out with a couple of friends to a bar and then we went to a disco. I have been dating a girl for some weeks, and oddly enough i found her at the disco with her group of friends, all being women(7) dancing together. I said hi to her and started to dance with her, but i felt like she was on another planet, kinda like she evaded me. I asked her if i made her feel unconfortable with her group of friends and she told me "its my ladies night". I tried to kiss her but she refused so i said "ok" and left her a little bit abruptly. I went to another part of the disco and started dancing with other girls with my group of friends. Like 2 hours later she left the disco with her friends without saying goodbye.

What do you think about this? did i do the right thing just leaving her with her friends?
Should i next her? radio silence? it pisses me off that she behaves in one way when we are alone, and a completely freezing way when she is around her friends...

She's done with you. She doesn't even want to be seen kissing you in public. Move on. There's no point in trying to salvage anything with this one.

Post: #16

There's this thing me and my pals call a "Ladies Night Paradox"™. There is never one lady at Ladies Night because all girls worth a damn know that there will be a sausagefest with thirsty guys fighting for a couple of damaged skanks who went there to have their ego kicks, free drinks and pretend they are 10s.

You should've ignored her and not went to a Ladies night at all, she was so high on attention that you were just another dude who went there to be her servant. Don't call her unless she calls you.

Post: #17

^It wasn't Ladies' Night at the bar.

She meant it was girls' night out.

Beyond All Seas

"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe.
To be your own man is a hard business. If you try it, you'll be lonely often, and sometimes
frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." - Kipling

Post: #18

(04-14-2014 03:11 AM)Beyond Borders Wrote:  ^It wasn't Ladies' Night at the bar.

She meant it was girls' night out.

You are correct beyond borders.
I have decided to just do both: radio silence + moving on. Best of both worlds