Post: #26

(04-12-2014 04:54 PM)scorpion Wrote:  Just based on what you saw, I wouldn't have done anything. Like others have said, you don't know the story. You don't even know that he hit her, as Fisto pointed out. You just think you know something. To insert yourself into two strangers' lives just based on your assumptions is a bad idea.

If the situation was a little different, say you were walking by a parked car and saw a guy actively beating on a woman inside, that would trigger a different response. I'd probably walk up while calling the police and tell the guy he needs to cut it out and that cops are on the way. Hopefully he doesn't pull a gun on me. I wouldn't intervene physically unless he attacked me or if he didn't stop beating the woman and she was unconscious and at risk for permanent injury/death.

Basically, I'm not going to white knight in that situation unless I'm seeing hard evidence with my own eyes, and I'm not going to physically intervene unless I think it's going to save someone's life. It's just too risky to insert yourself into the middle of a fighting couple otherwise, they are both likely to be completely crazy at that moment and capable of anything.

At my last job working in a strip club, the former general manager went out the back door one night, and there were two guys beating up a girl.

He ran over and white knighted physically intervening.

Well, it was the girls boyfriend, and her brother. Not only did the two guys beat his ass but so did the girl.

I think it's fucked up to call the cops based on the above story, but if someone was viciously attacking another person, then it's more than appropriate.

Post: #27

(04-12-2014 05:38 PM)Fisto Wrote:  

(04-12-2014 04:54 PM)scorpion Wrote:  Just based on what you saw, I wouldn't have done anything. Like others have said, you don't know the story. You don't even know that he hit her, as Fisto pointed out. You just think you know something. To insert yourself into two strangers' lives just based on your assumptions is a bad idea.

If the situation was a little different, say you were walking by a parked car and saw a guy actively beating on a woman inside, that would trigger a different response. I'd probably walk up while calling the police and tell the guy he needs to cut it out and that cops are on the way. Hopefully he doesn't pull a gun on me. I wouldn't intervene physically unless he attacked me or if he didn't stop beating the woman and she was unconscious and at risk for permanent injury/death.

Basically, I'm not going to white knight in that situation unless I'm seeing hard evidence with my own eyes, and I'm not going to physically intervene unless I think it's going to save someone's life. It's just too risky to insert yourself into the middle of a fighting couple otherwise, they are both likely to be completely crazy at that moment and capable of anything.

At my last job working in a strip club, the former general manager went out the back door one night, and there were two guys beating up a girl.

He ran over and white knighted physically intervening.

Well, it was the girls boyfriend, and her brother. Not only did the two guys beat his ass but so did the girl.

I think it's fucked up to call the cops based on the above story, but if someone was viciously attacking another person, then it's more than appropriate.

Why was the brother beating her ?

Post: #28

No idea.

Post: #29

(04-12-2014 07:16 PM)Fisto Wrote:  No idea.

Hearing about shit like that (two guys beating up the girlfriend) scares the humanity out of me.

No wonder we're such an atomized society.

Wald

Post: #30

"...pet shop?"

Post: #31

I forgot the post, but someone on this forum posted an excellent heuristic to deal with such a situation - what would you do if the girl was a guy?

I would have gone up to the girl after he left and ask if she needs any help. Get her some first aid. Ask people around to help me help her. Maybe would let someone else call an ambulance, would leave the decision of whether to call the cops up to her. Helpfulness is one of the pillars of civilization and I would not give up on that. But if they were fighting, I would not intervene.

Post: #32

If I saw an actual girl being attacked in front of me? I'd call the cops.

If I thought she was in genuine danger of her life? I still wouldn't intervene. There's plenty of stories about the bad shit that happens to white knights. Search around the boards and you'll find dozens of them. One that comes to mind is of a guy who stopped a abusive boyfriend from attacking his girlfriend with a knife. He had a gun and ended up critically wounding the attacker, and went to jail. The girlfriend testified against the white knight, and got back together with the boyfriend. His life's ruined and she wasn't grateful in the slightest.

If I saw the situation you described?
I'd walk away and shrug. This is 2014. She's got a cell phone if she wants to use it.

One of the worst things you realize when you take the red pill is that women who have abusive boyfriends are in that relationship because they want to be. They've had any number of chances to pack up and leave. They've got any number of resources available to them if they want to go. They know damn well what these guys are doing to them, and doing to their kids, and they don't care.

I'll share a white knighting episode from my own past, one that I was immensely proud of when it happened but one that makes me feel sick now. A buddy of mine was... what we'd now call a beta orbiter of a single mother with a 2-year old son. We were watching movies one night at my place when he got a call from her, scared because a violent, abusive ex-boyfriend of hers was banging on her door and screaming. We jumped in my car, eager to race over and defend this fair maiden from her harasser. Now, at this time I was a giant fatso who hadn't gotten in a fight since 6th grade, so I'm not 100% sure what I was planning to do against a violent drug addict. If he'd been there I might've ended up crippled or in the hospital, but thankfully by the time we got there the guy was gone. The woman was scared, and her son was scared, so we stayed there for the evening.

Now, I know they call it the terrible twos, but this was the sweetest kid you ever saw. We played blocks and race cars to calm him down. I still remember sitting on the carpet with the little guy and going "Vroom Vroom!" with this shitty little plastic car that cost 2$ and was probably made at a discount factory in China. He loved it. I'm not a kid person, but he was awesome. If I ever have a kid, and he's half as sweet as this little guy, I'll be the happiest dad on Earth. My buddy had been talking about how he wanted to marry this girl, and I'd always been like, "Dude, you wanna marry a single mom? Seriously?" After that night, I was like, "Yeah. I can see it. You'd make a great dad."

A few months later my orbiter buddy made a serious approach on this chick. Got shot down hard. I believe "I see you as a friend," were the words she used. Now, my buddy, he's a little out of shape. A bit of a dork. Not autistic, and quite popular among his circle of friends, but he may as well have a big sign hung around his neck saying "Harmless." He had a steady middle management position at a telecom and was pulling down like 50k a year, and his hobbies were video games, movies, and playing guitar. A perfectly good guy, and a man who'd make an awesome husband, but this wasn't what she was looking for. Evidently this wasn't the type of man she wanted in her life, and around her son.

He mostly gave up on her after that, but he remained in her general circle long enough to find out that she eventually got back together with her violent, abusive ex. Last he heard, they were living together.

That was the kind of man she chose to have around her son. An abusive drug user. This sweet little kid could've grown up with an awesome dad whose worst vice was a fondness for Chipotle every Thursday evening and a few beers on the weekend. Now he's sharing the house with an abusive druggie. I don't know if the guy ever abused the kid, but I wouldn't be surprised in the least. That was the choice his mom made, and he's going to be living with the consequences the rest of his life.

If you're a woman in an abusive relationship, fuck you.

If you're a woman in an abusive relationship, and you've got kids, fuck you twice.

Post: #33

I would mind my own business and keep walking.

I'd try to intervene if I saw a child or animal getting the shit kicked out of them. There's no situation I can think of where it's alright for an adult to seriously beat either. When I say getting beat I mean actual blood and serious damage.

I couldn't give two shits about a woman getting pounded on by her bf/husband or whatever. I'd just keep on walking. I've actually seen (and heard) this scenario many times. When I was growing up our neighbor across the street used to get into drunken shouting and slugging matches with his wife daily. I was used to hearing it.

I also saw a woman get a lit cigarette literally backhanded out of her mouth by her man outside a convenience store once.

Post: #34

I would do nothing. It's not the first time he hit her. She chose this.

She has a cell phone that is capable of calling 911, and from the story he wasn't preventing her from escaping. Unless you hear someone yelling "Help, help!" in a panic, you're witnessing the product of someone's bad choices, which will not change simply because you want to interfere out of the goodness of your heart.

Post: #35

Give her a stare of astonishment and keep on walking.

Post: #36

This is the least politically correct thing to say, but from my personal experience and that of police officers I have spoken to. If you get involved with a domestic violence case, they will both turn on you. I remember sticking up for a woman who got Wacked in the street by her boyfriend, when the police turned up, she started telling them, that I was the one who hit her. Really these were two strangers, who I have never met before. I would suggest calling the police, unless of course he was really laying into her, and serious injury was likely to occur.


I am starting to wonder whether Stockholm syndrome is just a part of female nature. These men who beat their girlfriends, always seem to have a endless supply of new victims.

Post: #37

(06-13-2014 04:59 AM)Constitution45 Wrote:  This is the least politically correct thing to say, but from my personal experience and that of police officers I have spoken to. If you get involved with a domestic violence case, they will both turn on you. I remember sticking up for a woman who got Wacked in the street by her boyfriend, when the police turned up, she started telling them, that I was the one who hit her. Really these were two strangers, who I have never met before. I would suggest calling the police, unless of course he was really laying into her, and serious injury was likely to occur.


I am starting to wonder whether Stockholm syndrome is just a part of female nature. These men who beat their girlfriends, always seem to have a endless supply of new victims.

True. One time driving to a concert at 4 a.m. in the morning (Lalapalooza) with a friend, I saw a man assaulting a woman on the side of the road. He drove off and I pulled up and asked the woman if she needed help. She got in my car and we told her we would take her to the police station. Instead, she responded, "No! He took my child, chase him!" I immediately knew what was going on and pulled over and told her to get the "F" out. She did so with a stunned expression on her face and we continued on our way. If she needed emergency assistance she would have said so. Don't get caught up in dysfunctional couples' drama. Stay out of it. If a woman needs emergency assistance, she will be crystal clear about it. Otherwise, stay well away.