Post: #1

So, I've been doing a lot of talking with an ex-gf of mine recently.. lots of teasing, bantering, etc.. the attraction is thru the roof with her this time around (it was really strong first time too...)

She gets serious today and asks why I'd want to be close to her again after the events of the past while. (She dumped me as I started exhibiting wussy/beta tendancies - I was in the early recovery stages when we first met 2 years ago) -- but would keep coming to me "as a friend" when dumping the guys she's been with since.

I stalled with an answer, sort of turning the question around a bit.. but I know she'll ask again... and soon.

Any thoughts on a good reply? One that can show a seriousness to my interest in her, but in a a way that doesn't show beta tendencies?


Thanks!

Post: #2

I would say you should just tell her you want to be closer to her again because the first time around you weren't sure what you wanted in your own life at the time much less a relationship.

Tell her that since you two have been apart that you had alot of time to reflect on your life and the direction you want it to go in and now that you have figured that out you are ready for a somewhat serious relationship. the kind that you werent ready for the previous time.

With this type of an answer she will understand why the first stint was a bust with you two. Also you will look like you are taking charge in your own life and you know what you want now. Go ahead and tell her that you know what you want and its her. If you dont want that much of a commitment than you shouldn't be here asking for answers.

Deuces

Post: #3

She was the one that broke it off with me though... I can sort of see your type of reply 'working'.. but she's probably going to say she was the one that 'flaked out' (and actually has recently brought that up - saying how much she must have 'hurt' me in the past) and didn't know what she wanted.. you think its a good thing to say pretty much the same thing too?

This woman is someone I'd consider a serious ltr with.. she does have some 'quirks', but then, don't we all though.

My concern over her question to me is that we are constantly flirting.. its always joking, fun, teasing, etc.... then all of a sudden "serious question".. I'm probably trying to over analyze the situation though.

Post: #4

just say simply, Why not?

Post: #5

Exactly. Don't say too much to where she can disect the answer and keep asking questions. Just keep it simple and matter of fact. I had this happen a few times to me and one girl in particular she asked me sort of the same question. My response was something to the effect of, "Just go with it and see where it takes us. It feels right and we shouldn't deny ourselves this chance. At the very least we'll make very good friends."

Or something like that; of course, that's just a ploy to get into her pants. I could care less if we're friends or not. See it sounds like to me she's still fishing for attention and wants to know she's worth something because someone out there is still pining over her. You need to tread carefully and not give her anything. She has to be the one chasing you and it's almost sounding like to me it'll end up being the other way around.

Let her know you have prospects and that you're in the position to be selective.