Post: #1

Hello all,

So a couple of days ago I spotted a girl -- solid 8, resembled a young Gwyneth Paltrow -- at my bus stop with a number of travel guides on her lap. I indicated at those to open her and pretty soon the conversation fixated on Paris (I studied there a couple of years ago).

I had to get off pretty soon and hers was a couple of hundred metres away. By then she had written down her email for me so we could exchange further information. Throughout this time, she was pretty receptive, gave good IOIs, and after I alighted gave me a a smile and wave when we locked eyes.

Herein lies my caveat: I've traditionally confused establishing a personal connection with seeking validation with the other party. This tends to come about in showing off how well-versed I may be with a particular topic -- especially in something the other person may have a vested interest in.
This is something I've only been a bit more conscious of over the past few years -- generally after it being pointed out bluntly but honestly. Coming across as more worldly/sophisticated and having read the right literature or seen the right films isn't necessarily what matters. It's not so much what you say as how you say it i.e. inner game.

That's generally where I've fallen with approaches in particular. Because I've gotten somewhere here, I'd like to be able to shore up my leverage with Europe (she has never been) with that sort of inner game; generating warmth, building a connection instead of approval. Scoring brownie points isn't the way to go and I'm trying to rectify that.

Thank you for putting up with my long-winded post.

Post: #2

Her only giving you the email is a dead give away that she's not interested at all. If you really thought she showed some interest you gotta push for the #. Maybe she was a little interested, maybe not, idk, but when she offered only the email and you accepted you were dead in the water. Better luck next time bud.

As far as your actual question, practice giving less of a fuck.

Post: #3

I disagree, I don't think just getting the email is a dead end.
Not for me anyway, sometimes it has resulted in the lay, although yes there is the danger it can end up in friendzone territory.
It at least gives the OP the possibility of setting up a meet in a bar, preferably somewhere within reach of his place.
Re showing off your knowledge on a particular subject, know this -> Most chicks could give a fuck about what you know about Europe or whatever, that stuff might be useful AFTER you've bedded this chick, but too much 'knowledge' talk beforehand will lead you into friendzone territory.

Post: #4

Maybe ask more questions to draw her in next time, only impart your knowledge as it pertains to the conversation. You can still come across as smart, cultured and "well-traveled" but try to weave your insights/observation within the conversation. I like to refer to this as 'sprinkling'. Sprinkle her with 'breadcrumbs' don't hit her with your whole loaf of knowledge.

Everyone wants to be heard and understood

Give her a chance to qualify herself to you by answering questions

Last thing you want to do is repel your target by coming across as a know-it-all by dominating the conversation.

Use that email as a re-entry point, express your interest. Preferably sooner than later.