presidentcarter
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RE: To Have Or Not To Have Kids?
It seems I am starting to agree with cardguy on a regular basis.
I had an exceptional childhood. My parents sacrificed their lives to raise me and my sibling. They may have even gone overboard, giving up dinner parties with friends/colleagues, etc. to spend their time and energy with their children. In my mind they are/were truly saints and I could not have asked for better parents. I owe them just about everything.
Now on to the subject of having my own kids...I used to feel like it was part of my duty to do this. Continue my genes, continue the family name, and saw it as an integral part (if not the most important part) to living a "full" life.
Lately though...I have developed a desire NOT to have kids. My sibling is having kid(s), which provides my parents with grandchildren to nurture and love. I don't see myself slowing down, settling down, to pursue children.
However, as mentioned, mother nature doesn't care about what I want and anything could happen. I won't be getting a vasectomy or giving up raw dogging. Also, I acknowledge there's always a chance that I meet a woman that ultimately convinces me to have children with her.
"...it's the quiet cool...it's for someone who's been through the struggle and come out on the other side smelling like money and pussy."
"put her in the taxi, put her number in the trash can"
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| 03-25-2014 08:11 AM |
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MY DETROIT PLAYAS
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RE: To Have Or Not To Have Kids?
A decade and a half ago, I could never imagine a life with kids
A decade and a half later, I can't remember what my life was before them.
Despite all of my personal accomplishments, no matter how much paper I stack, or chicks I run through watching my daughter become an All-State track star, a multi-sport athlete, and all -around great person trumps EVERYTHING
Proudest days of my life!!!
MDP
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| 03-25-2014 08:36 AM |
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MrLemon
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RE: To Have Or Not To Have Kids?
The other key issue to remember...having kids "turns on" parts of your brain that otherwise will atrophy.
This is why women over 35 who don't have kids, are essentially crazy. I mean, really crazy. My wife says, the people she distrusts the most are childless women beyond a certain age. They cannot be trusted with kids, ever, unless MAYBE they are aunts.
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| 03-25-2014 10:25 AM |
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samsamsam
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RE: To Have Or Not To Have Kids?
(03-25-2014 10:25 AM)MrLemon Wrote: The other key issue to remember...having kids "turns on" parts of your brain that otherwise will atrophy.
This is why women over 35 who don't have kids, are essentially crazy. I mean, really crazy. My wife says, the people she distrusts the most are childless women beyond a certain age. They cannot be trusted with kids, ever, unless MAYBE they are aunts.
MrLemon, very interesting. Do you have more info?
Fate whispers to the warrior, "You cannot withstand the storm." And the warrior whispers back, "I am the storm."
Women and children can be careless, but not men - Don Corleone
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| 03-25-2014 10:28 AM |
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samsamsam
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RE: To Have Or Not To Have Kids?
(03-25-2014 12:50 AM)MrLemon Wrote: As a parent, I will sit back and relish the moment that you finally succumb, and join me in exhaustion and poverty. When parenthood has sucked every ounce of life out of you, I will watch with dark satisfaction as your dried up husk is discarded in the dumpster of life. Your children *might* remember your sacrifice, or, they might be selfish shits who leave you abandoned in the nursing home.
Have a nice day.
MrLemon, do you write greeting cards for Hallmark?
Fate whispers to the warrior, "You cannot withstand the storm." And the warrior whispers back, "I am the storm."
Women and children can be careless, but not men - Don Corleone
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| 03-25-2014 10:31 AM |
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SheWantsTheD
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RE: To Have Or Not To Have Kids?
(03-24-2014 06:05 PM)samsamsam Wrote: A question for those who do not want to have children. How was your upbringing/experience as a child?
I ask, because my experience looking back, was actually pretty good. I was a bit sheltered and maybe my kids won't be. But I am very grateful for my family.
Just wondering if any of you who don't want kids, is part of it just a fear of re-creating a bad childhood?
I know that being the greatest parents in the world don't guarantee good productive kids, either.
Just thinking obviously our own experience plays a big role in our desire or lack of desire to be fathers.
I think this is part of the reason for me. Had a crappy childhood, and I often thank God I never had kids as [email protected]$$ 20 year old when I had was too horny, impatient, and stupid to raise a kid right. I still don't want kids now, but I often question that decision. Doesn't take me long until I snap back to the logic that got me to where I am now not having kids. I've seen so many of my friends' lives completely screwed over because their gf/wife gets a bug up her butt and leaves him and he's heartbroken and flat broke for the next 15 years. I used to have nightmares I'd get chicks pregnant - none of them I was actually dating - and HATE myself. The scared feelings I'd have in those dreams would shake me so bad I wouldn't screw for a month.
Long story short, my childhood scarred me, half of my friends are broke and miserable because of females leaving them after a kid, and this world (America especially) is not somewhere I want my kid living, it's just not fair to them IMO.
Edit: Once I asked my mom why in God's name did you have a kid? She was a 19 year old unfit mother and my dad was an alcoholic who almost beat her to death on several occasions. I asked her why she would be with him or have a kid in the first place. She said she wanted someone to love her forever. I was pretty upset when she told me that. Love my mom I really do, but that is not a reason at all to have a kid, and it's especially irresponsible to bring a kid into that kind of environment because you feel lonely. No worse feeling than being 5 years old and hearing your old man banging your moms head off the coffee table and hearing her scream bloody murder. She had several other husbands after him.
I'm never getting married or having kids.
IDK, that's my story anyway.
(This post was last modified: 04-07-2014 07:20 PM by SheWantsTheD.)
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| 04-07-2014 07:06 PM |
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Comte De St. Germain
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RE: To Have Or Not To Have Kids?
At 18, I'm still a child, but so far I think in the respect of giving me a home and shelter as well as providing me with most of what I needed materially/emotionally(I still hold a couple of grudges here and there but they are for petty things that I will look back and laugh on but still feel them important right now). I personally want to have kids: not for the retirement, not for the genetic evolution, but for the fact that I'm instilling individuals with values and raising them to be proper people in today's dark age. If I can introduce one sane person to the world, then I think I will have died happy especially if it is my own progeny without the trouble I had to go through.
The one thing my parents did not do for me was mentally i.e. give me social awareness towards what was around me and to give me a thorough spiritual starting point rooted in logic(not the zealous religious attitude they currently have and I personally would not have want them atheistic to the point of them denying any soul searching or spirituality while not letting me believe/belittling me). I became jaded, spiritually lost until I found my personal beliefs, dealing with loss, and having had reality forced on me at an age where I knew nothing at all. I want to give my progeny the chances I never had, and have them enter the world better than I had with the struggle I experienced or the losses I had.
Sidenote: I think I'm an exception to samsamsam's question towards people who don't want to have kids in that some of the events in my earlier childhood actually forced me to want to have kids in comparison to not.
"Until the day when God shall deign to reveal the future to man, all human wisdom is summed up in these two words,— 'Wait and hope'."- Alexander Dumas, "The Count of Monte Cristo"
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| 04-07-2014 08:23 PM |
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Off The Reservation
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| 06-10-2016 10:59 PM |
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Rawmeo
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RE: To Have Or Not To Have Kids?
Having kids in the right conditions is a must in every man's life. When you are married to a traditional wife, have sufficient finances, and genuinely believe that you can provide a good life to your offspring, then go for it.
Not having kids means throwing away all your legacy. Everything your ancestors did to make your family stronger and richer is gone as there is nobody to pursue what you've started. I will have kids in my late 20s and will make sure to have plenty of them to pursue my legacy.
Now, the problem is that families who should not have kids, such as Syrian immigrants, single moms re-giving birth with a different dad, etc. are breeding like stray dogs. Kids must be born in the right conditions, and be from a family that actually bring something to the country, rather than taking something away. People on welfare, political islamic refugees, etc. take rather than giving and should not have a legacy.
So it all boils down to how much you value the work of your ancestors and how good of a life you can provide to your kids.
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| 06-11-2016 03:42 AM |
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tomzestatlu
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RE: To Have Or Not To Have Kids?
(06-11-2016 03:42 AM)Rawmeo Wrote: Having kids in the right conditions is a must in every man's life. When you are married to a traditional wife, have sufficient finances, and genuinely believe that you can provide a good life to your offspring, then go for it.
Not having kids means throwing away all your legacy. Everything your ancestors did to make your family stronger and richer is gone as there is nobody to pursue what you've started. I will have kids in my late 20s and will make sure to have plenty of them to pursue my legacy.
Now, the problem is that families who should not have kids, such as Syrian immigrants, single moms re-giving birth with a different dad, etc. are breeding like stray dogs. Kids must be born in the right conditions, and be from a family that actually bring something to the country, rather than taking something away. People on welfare, political islamic refugees, etc. take rather than giving and should not have a legacy.
So it all boils down to how much you value the work of your ancestors and how good of a life you can provide to your kids.
very nice
For me, having a children is joined with desire to build something. I´ve grown up without father, so for me it´s not about continuing family tree, but building my own.. something to be proud of. Anyway I value my ancestors and nation, so it´s also commitment to continue.
"Love your life, perfect your life, beautify all things in your life. Seek to make your life long and its purpose in the service of your people."
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| 06-13-2016 01:19 AM |
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Hell_Is_Like_Newark
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RE: To Have Or Not To Have Kids?
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| 10-10-2016 08:21 AM |
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