Post: #1

As a rule I never pay attention to kind behavior from people who are in service industries and on the clock. If you go to a music store and it seems like a chick who works there is hitting on you because she's really nice and complimenting your taste in music, chances are she's just doing it because she's paid to do it, or she has some incentive to sell the album (This happened to a friend of mine, he fell head over heels after one meeting).

There's a bar I go to maybe once every couple weeks which is one of my pickup spots. A couple months ago this cute bartender began working there. Living in NYC I'm used to people being less-than-kind, but this girl was very bubbly. I just assumed she was being nice for tips and never entertained the idea that she was into me. A few times we've talked about movies, and I found that if I made a good joke about a movie she'd usually give me a free drink. Again, just assuming she was doing her job.

Then last night the friend who I always take with me told me he was picking up HEAVY IOI's from her. As soon as we walked in she saw us from across the bar and waved to us. A little while later we go outside for a smoke and the bartender came out a couple minutes later, also for a smoke. She comes up to us and points to me and goes "Let me remember....You're Lex, right?" She gave me her name for the first time and chatted a bit. I realized later on that I had never once given her my name before, and my friend said that while he was up at the bar alone she asked him for my name, saying she saw me there all the time. Later on when I got a drink from her she knew my "usual" drink, and gave me a high five saying it was nice to finally know my name. The bar got busier and I didn't see her for most of the night after that, until the end when I was walking one way and she was walking the other, and she grabbed my arm and squeezed it a couple times quickly.

My friend is convinced she's into me, but I'm still under the impression that she's just being nice because that's her job. He said that in defense of his observations, she's not as chatty or nice to him as she is to me, and he said she pays a lot more attention to me than anyone else when taking my order. I never noticed this, but it did get me thinking. She's cute and I'd definitely hit it.

Thoughts?

Post: #2

(02-24-2014 10:11 PM)Lex S. Wrote:  Thoughts?

Bring the movies.

Post: #3

As a dude who used to work in the service industry, I think she's probably gaming you. We had girls that would almost pretend to be in love with guys, but were fucking the manager. It's a weird world.

It doesn't mean you can't bang her with tight game, though. I think any woman who gives you the time can be seduced. One thing, though... If you usually pick up girls at that place, don't go after the staff. We called that "poisoning the well."

Post: #4

Go for it. Worst possible case you don't bang a girl you weren't gonna bang anyway.

And there's a shit-ton of wells in NYC. Its ok to poison a few.

Post: #5

Woah, New York. I didn't notice that. Yeah, go for that shit.

Post: #6

(02-25-2014 12:22 AM)Skotch Wrote:  As a dude who used to work in the service industry, I think she's probably gaming you. We had girls that would almost pretend to be in love with guys, but were fucking the manager. It's a weird world.

It doesn't mean you can't bang her with tight game, though. I think any woman who gives you the time can be seduced. One thing, though... If you usually pick up girls at that place, don't go after the staff. We called that "poisoning the well."

Yeah, that's what I figured. I go there often enough that she knows me as a regular, so maybe that's why I was getting the special treatment. I figure I'll keep going there and acting aloof and see if she keeps acting overly friendly or makes the first move.

I've also wondered about poisoning the well. This is one of my favorite bars, and I've picked up a couple girls there in the past (As well as made out with countless girls on the dance floor in full view of everyone). I also sometimes come to this place with girls. So if anything were to happen with the bartender and shit goes South then I can forget about ever wanting to go there again without the possibility of a lot of drama.

Post: #7

I'm pretty sure I have a thread up about hitting on chicks while they're working, but bars, nightclubs, stripclubs, etc. are the worst places to go about it, because generally speaking, hitting on chicks while they're working gives dudes a false sense of attraction.

They forget/ignore the fact that the chicks are being paid to be nice, helpful, etc. and dudes take that for them being attracted to them. Also, dudes forget the number of other dudes who try to hit on these chicks, so they kind of already have a wall up, and just see the next guy as another drunk guy with some liquid courage trying to pull -- usually after he's struck out with the other patrons or the talent level is quite low.

My bottom chick is a bartender, but I didn't meet her while she was working, in the OP's case, it's not game if she's winning, and her being nice to you means you're going there more often and spending money.

If you want to find out if there's a game being played or not, you're going to need to isolate her and say what you need to say so she knows what's up, and either you get rejected or you move on to the next step, otherwise, you're just pussy loitering.

Post: #8

This has been covered extensively, but...

If you're hitting up that bar BECAUSE she's working, than her 'game' is working.

If you're hitting it up without a thought if she's there or not, then your mind is in the right place.

See the difference?

Lastly, since it's NYC and there are millions of bars, I would casually hand your phone to her next time when it's slow and say "put your number in. We'll grab a drink one night when you're off".

If she rejects it, than whatever no harm done. If she puts her number in, game on.

Post: #9

What bar?

Post: #10

(02-25-2014 01:29 AM)Christian McQueen Wrote:  This has been covered extensively, but...

If you're hitting up that bar BECAUSE she's working, than her 'game' is working.

If you're hitting it up without a thought if she's there or not, then your mind is in the right place.

I'm definitely in the latter category. She's a cute girl, but I honestly didn't think anything of her until my friend mentioned it last night. This place also attracts a ton of hot girls, and they're the ones I've always focused on.

Post: #11

(02-25-2014 01:37 AM)Lex S. Wrote:  

(02-25-2014 01:29 AM)Christian McQueen Wrote:  This has been covered extensively, but...

If you're hitting up that bar BECAUSE she's working, than her 'game' is working.

If you're hitting it up without a thought if she's there or not, then your mind is in the right place.

I'm definitely in the latter category. She's a cute girl, but I honestly didn't think anything of her until my friend mentioned it last night. This place also attracts a ton of hot girls, and they're the ones I've always focused on.

Good. You mentioned that she's seen you make out with other girls in the bar. Pre-selection at work.

I'd get her number. If she's down you'll know it and if not, shrug it off and act normal.

Bartenders, strippers, cocktail waitresses like cock too. Just because they're working doesn't mean they can't be pulled.