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long distance relationships
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hervens Offline
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Post: #1
long distance relationships
Ok,
So I met a girl in a club last weekend, and brought her home the same night.
The thing is, this girl doesn`t live in my city, and was visiting from Toronto, about 6 hours away.

I spent the entire following day with her, and we made plans to eventually see each other again.

Now, I kind of like this girl, and would even consider becoming her bf. I`d also like to be able to secure the bang with her whenever I go to Toronto, or whenever she comes to my city.

So, my question is, how often should I be texting her in order to keep her interest and prevent her from forgetting about me?

We`ve been constantly texting each other back and forth the last few days and it feels a bit of an overkill, considering I can only hope to see her like once or so every 2 - 3 months.

What would you guys do in this situation? What should I tell her?
02-19-2014 11:58 PM
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Post: #2
RE: long distance relationships
(02-19-2014 11:58 PM)hervens Wrote:  Ok,
So I met a girl in a club last weekend, and brought her home the same night.
The thing is, this girl doesn`t live in my city, and was visiting from Toronto, about 6 hours away.

I spent the entire following day with her, and we made plans to eventually see each other again.

Now, I kind of like this girl, and would even consider becoming her bf. I`d also like to be able to secure the bang with her whenever I go to Toronto, or whenever she comes to my city.

So, my question is, how often should I be texting her in order to keep her interest and prevent her from forgetting about me?

We`ve been constantly texting each other back and forth the last few days and it feels a bit of an overkill, considering I can only hope to see her like once or so every 2 - 3 months.

What would you guys do in this situation? What should I tell her?

You brought her home the same night, so I wouldn't even consider a relationship with her at ANY point. You've been warned.

Furthermore, I wouldn't consider it until you'd been dating consistently, in the same town, for a solid six months.

To answer your questions, I'd say once or twice a week should suffice. As to what you should tell her - nothing. Give her good vibes. Don't mention a relationship, keep it casual.

Guarantee you the first sign you drop at wanting more, she flees.

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02-20-2014 01:11 AM
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hervens Offline
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Post: #3
RE: long distance relationships
(02-20-2014 01:11 AM)TroubleMaker Wrote:  You brought her home the same night, so I wouldn't even consider a relationship with her at ANY point. You've been warned.

Furthermore, I wouldn't consider it until you'd been dating consistently, in the same town, for a solid six months.

To answer your questions, I'd say once or twice a week should suffice. As to what you should tell her - nothing. Give her good vibes. Don't mention a relationship, keep it casual.

Guarantee you the first sign you drop at wanting more, she flees.

Cool thanks. And yeah, I know I brought her home the same night, but it turns out she was a virgin, which is one of the things that raised my interest level for her. (I didn't have sex with her, because she supposedly wasn't ready for it)
02-20-2014 08:41 AM
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ladderff Offline
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Post: #4
RE: long distance relationships
My opinion: just forget it. Get the bang, or not, but forget about this "long-distance relationship" idea.

In my opinion the only way an exclusive long distance relationship could maybe be justified is if you were gonna marry the girl and the separation were for practical purposes and had a clear and well-defined end. Otherwise it is just dicking around, and totally in the girl's favor.
02-20-2014 10:26 AM
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Seth_Rose Offline
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Post: #5
RE: long distance relationships
First of all it seems like you're new to this site, and maybe the world of picking up girls, but do yourself a favor and scour this forum as well as Roosh's books. What you should try to accomplish by that is understand the basic dynamics of male-female relationships and to give you the insight you need to develop a non-needy frame.

Maybe this girl is amazing, idk, but it seems more likely that you just don't have many other options on the table right now and are clinging to this girls as she is your only means of pussy. Making her a friends with benefits is a good idea so that any time you're in Toronto you can bang, but it is not necessary to become her BF to do this. By seeking a relationship so soon after meeting, it conveys neediness (that's a big dating no-no). Go out this week and hit on a bunch of girls and come back and see if you still want to be in a relationship with her.

Quote:So, my question is, how often should I be texting her in order to keep her interest and prevent her from forgetting about me?

As for texting less is more. Don't text her "Hey! I was thinking about you today Smile" try and text mostly for setting up meets, or once in a while just to check in on her, but she should be the one texting you to just say hi.

Quote:We`ve been constantly texting each other back and forth the last few days and it feels a bit of an overkill, considering I can only hope to see her like once or so every 2 - 3 months.

Yeahh, I would agree that is overkill. And also, just saw that.... 2-3 months! Dude, drop this girl like a bad habit. I've done a LDR and it never ends well. There's just no way to develop intimacy with a girl seeing her that infrequently.

It sucks, but do yourself a favor and try and forget about her by meeting other girls.

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02-20-2014 10:47 AM
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Wargasm Offline
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Post: #6
RE: long distance relationships
Long distance relationships are only possible if you have no sex drive, don't mind if your girl gets with other guys, or in rare situations where there was a strong existing relationship and the distance is for a set temporary amount of time.

Intimacy can't be kept alive without regular physical interaction (usually sex).
02-20-2014 12:59 PM
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MidniteSpecial Offline
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Post: #7
RE: long distance relationships
Just tell her you can chill when she's around. Say "hit me up next time your in town." And leave it at that. Don't wast time, energy or money on this.
02-20-2014 01:02 PM
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hervens Offline
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Post: #8
RE: long distance relationships
(02-20-2014 12:59 PM)Wargasm Wrote:  Long distance relationships are only possible if you have no sex drive, don't mind if your girl gets with other guys, or in rare situations where there was a strong existing relationship and the distance is for a set temporary amount of time.

Intimacy can't be kept alive without regular physical interaction (usually sex).

I intend on continuing to game other girls while she`s not around, so that shouldn`t really be an issue.

My main concern actually, is that I want to be able to secure the bang with her whenever she`s in town.

Also, it`s hard to just stop contacting her, as she`s always sending me little cute texts and stuff.

Anyhow, thanks to all who contributed to this thread. I really needed to see some different opinions
02-20-2014 05:02 PM
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This Is Trouble Offline
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Post: #9
RE: long distance relationships
(02-20-2014 08:41 AM)hervens Wrote:  
(02-20-2014 01:11 AM)TroubleMaker Wrote:  You brought her home the same night, so I wouldn't even consider a relationship with her at ANY point. You've been warned.

Furthermore, I wouldn't consider it until you'd been dating consistently, in the same town, for a solid six months.

To answer your questions, I'd say once or twice a week should suffice. As to what you should tell her - nothing. Give her good vibes. Don't mention a relationship, keep it casual.

Guarantee you the first sign you drop at wanting more, she flees.

Cool thanks. And yeah, I know I brought her home the same night, but it turns out she was a virgin, which is one of the things that raised my interest level for her. (I didn't have sex with her, because she supposedly wasn't ready for it)

If you didn't have sex with her, you should in no way whatsoever consider a mini-relationship, much less long distance.

Bang a girl half a dozen times before you think about giving her any sort of commitment.

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02-21-2014 10:41 AM
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redbeard Offline
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Post: #10
RE: long distance relationships
Don't think about her like she's your girlfriend.

Let's say she stayed in your city...what would your game look like? Would you still be contacting her constantly? No.

First thing is pretty much what everyone else is saying: meet more girls. You're caring way too much about that girl. But I understand, it's easier said than done.

The main thing is that you need to stop thinking about her in traditional dating norms. "LDR" are all made up by women in order to provide security for their hypergamy. What man says "oh yeah I love being in a LDR, not having sex for months is awesome! I looooove having long gay talks with a girl on the phone instead of having meaningful experiences!" None. Zero. Zilch.

You need to start thinking of this girl as a side piece. Let's say you're only in town every 2/3 months. Never start text conversations. No "hey thinking about you." The only texts you should be sending are simple C&F DHV texts, to which you barely reply to her. The only time you should be actively contacting her is when you know you're going to be in town in a week. Call her and say "hey bitch I'm going to be in town. Let's do x on y day at z time."

Outside of that what do you have to gain from an LDR? LDR is just a buffer preventing you from picking up new girls. Go forth and multiply.
02-22-2014 03:45 PM
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Post: #11
RE: long distance relationships
Doing what you want to do is always a lot easier if you see things the way they are.

Labels do not magically make things out of thin air, and calling a long distance crush a relationship does not make it so.

When you clear away conceptual clouds and just look at the bare, naked facts, what is left is an arrangement where at any time, either one of you can decide to simply not call back, for any or no reason.

What name you prefer to give to this is entirely immaterial to the actual dynamics of it.
02-24-2014 11:47 PM
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Post: #12
RE: long distance relationships
Fuck long distance relationships. Maybe cause I'm in a major city but I won't even go out to the suburbs to see a girl. My time is valuable to me, I'm not spending time travelling 30+ mins over some broad.

If you happen to live out in the sticks, well never mind that.

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02-26-2014 03:02 AM
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Post: #13
RE: long distance relationships
lzozlzzlzlzllolzllll

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02-26-2014 03:11 AM
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eradicator Offline
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Post: #14
RE: long distance relationships
(02-26-2014 03:02 AM)Snowplow Wrote:  Fuck long distance relationships. Maybe cause I'm in a major city but I won't even go out to the suburbs to see a girl. My time is valuable to me, I'm not spending time travelling 30+ mins over some broad.

If you happen to live out in the sticks, well never mind that.


depends what she looks like. if she is hot enough, i would go to the suburbs. And some of them will drive to you, and when that happens, the dates tend to go a bit better because they are invested as far as time

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02-26-2014 03:21 AM
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Post: #15
RE: long distance relationships
Just got out of second long distance relationship earlier this year.

My advice on long distance?

Don't.

They're not impossible - it just takes two very savvy people who really like each other. And the learning curve is quite steep.

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03-01-2014 10:03 AM
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Post: #16
RE: long distance relationships
The intimacy related comment is correct. I think you tend to manufacture artificial intimacy in this LDR by either text or verbally in order to keep the relationship strong. It will neither provide intimacy nor make the relationship strong. To me intimacy needs to come physically first and once you have a strong connection, then you can tag verbally. In LDRs people tend to do the opposite.

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03-04-2014 05:46 AM
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Post: #17
RE: long distance relationships
Girl comes to your house the same night you meet her and claims she is a virgin, yeah right!
Did you test her or check for yourself?
Some psycho gal tried that shit on me years ago, she was a liar.
Don't text, give her the silent treatment cos she is playing you.

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03-04-2014 06:49 PM
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Post: #18
RE: long distance relationships
Would even bet she's carrying something foul.

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03-04-2014 07:21 PM
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Ruivinho Offline
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Post: #19
RE: long distance relationships
Long distance relationships are a no no unless the girl is a munter..
Because she'll be doing things with other guys and if she's not, you will always have suspicion she is anyway...
10-08-2014 06:01 PM
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Post: #20
RE: long distance relationships
(10-08-2014 06:01 PM)Ruivinho Wrote:  Long distance relationships are a no no unless the girl is a munter..

Come again?? Huh
10-08-2014 07:48 PM
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Post: #21
RE: long distance relationships
I slept with a girl while she was in a long distance relationship. She was 'a "nice" person, too. Take that as a warning.
10-08-2014 08:02 PM
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Post: #22
RE: long distance relationships
(10-08-2014 07:48 PM)CrashBangWallop Wrote:  
(10-08-2014 06:01 PM)Ruivinho Wrote:  Long distance relationships are a no no unless the girl is a munter..

Come again?? Huh

haha exactly my point. Nobody wants a munter
10-18-2014 06:39 PM
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