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what's your go-to method for dealing with approach anxiety?
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bodmon Offline
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Post: #1
what's your go-to method for dealing with approach anxiety?
there are hundreds of methods/exercises/reframes out there - at least one for every pick up guru.

which one do you use?

for me, back in 2011-2012 it was a hardass wing who pushed me, the "3-second rule", and good inner game. in 2013-2014, where I've gone out much less, it's largely been booze.
(This post was last modified: 02-13-2014 04:43 PM by bodmon.)
02-13-2014 04:40 PM
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Windom Earle Offline
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Post: #2
RE: what's your go-to method for dealing with approach anxiety?
Imagine you're from the future, and you've gone back in time.

Little things don't seem to matter as much, such as a chicks unfavourable reaction.

Works for me.
02-13-2014 04:47 PM
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Mr Me Offline
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Post: #3
RE: what's your go-to method for dealing with approach anxiety?
WE, you like to pull your grandma I understand. Don't outmanoeuvre that dude orbeting around her because then you might not exist anymore.

Personally I don't take much notice to a rejection. It's if she is into you that things start to happen which in itself is way more emotional.

Bodmon, can you put words into what you fear when doing an approach?
(This post was last modified: 02-13-2014 05:09 PM by Mr Me.)
02-13-2014 05:02 PM
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Mr Me Offline
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Post: #4
RE: what's your go-to method for dealing with approach anxiety?
Bodmon, in the unlikely event that she says something really rude when approaching just have a few standard lines to counter with. Saying that "I'm just trying to make conversation and if you don't like that there's no reason to be rude about it" should make you feel much better from the very few approaches where the girl has a strange behaviour.
02-13-2014 05:07 PM
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RX2 Offline
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Post: #5
RE: what's your go-to method for dealing with approach anxiety?
Just think about it. I internalized this a little while ago.

If you don't approach you might never see her again and you'll never know what could have happened.
If you do, what's the worst that can happen? She says 'no thanks'., she has a boyfriend or isn't interested?

It really isn't that big of a deal. Even the worst case scenario isn't that bad. At least you approached and aren't left that with the regret of not approaching that petite brunette with a nice ass that was just your type (well....mine at least lol).

By not approaching you're going straight to the 'no'.
(This post was last modified: 02-13-2014 05:15 PM by RX2.)
02-13-2014 05:14 PM
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Bacchus Offline
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RE: what's your go-to method for dealing with approach anxiety?
This method may be a little too much, but it works. Always put a smile on my face too.

Think of how many abortions she's had. There's no way to put a pussy on a pedestal if you imagine it's connected to haunted womb.
02-13-2014 06:47 PM
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RE: what's your go-to method for dealing with approach anxiety?
Bacchus, harsh but funny. Definitely drops her value in my mind!

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02-13-2014 07:08 PM
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Saga Offline
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Post: #8
RE: what's your go-to method for dealing with approach anxiety?
Don't think, just approach.
02-13-2014 07:13 PM
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RE: what's your go-to method for dealing with approach anxiety?
(02-13-2014 05:14 PM)RX2 Wrote:  Just think about it. I internalized this a little while ago.

If you don't approach you might never see her again and you'll never know what could have happened.
If you do, what's the worst that can happen? She says 'no thanks'., she has a boyfriend or isn't interested?

It really isn't that big of a deal. Even the worst case scenario isn't that bad. At least you approached and aren't left that with the regret of not approaching that petite brunette with a nice ass that was just your type (well....mine at least lol).

By not approaching you're going straight to the 'no'.

Think this guy covered my mentality on this too. Always think you're missing out on something worthwhile that you will 9 times out of 10 will never see again.

"Until the day when God shall deign to reveal the future to man, all human wisdom is summed up in these two words,— 'Wait and hope'."- Alexander Dumas, "The Count of Monte Cristo"

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02-13-2014 07:14 PM
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pitt Offline
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RE: what's your go-to method for dealing with approach anxiety?
(02-13-2014 05:14 PM)RX2 Wrote:  Just think about it. I internalized this a little while ago.

If you don't approach you might never see her again and you'll never know what could have happened.
If you do, what's the worst that can happen? She says 'no thanks'., she has a boyfriend or isn't interested?

It really isn't that big of a deal. Even the worst case scenario isn't that bad. At least you approached and aren't left that with the regret of not approaching that petite brunette with a nice ass that was just your type (well....mine at least lol).

By not approaching you're going straight to the 'no'.

This is the player mindset.

You also need to be humble enough to kill your ego. It doesn't hurt me if some hot girl doesn't want to give me her pussy, another hot girl will.

The hotter the girl, the more I force myself to approach. I am in a stage where I am extremely picky of who I am going to bang next so when I see a really hot girl, I make the move. Recently I was hanging out with these church group and I saw this really hot girl walking into a local shop, I told them ''I need to leave real quick, need to buy something''..walked inside the shop, gamed her and got the number..setting up the date to bang her next week.

I always approach..whenever I dont approach (usually the only reason is because she walked too fast and I couldn't keep it up), I go crazy for 5 or 10 seconds thinking ''I really hate women who walk fast''.
02-13-2014 07:18 PM
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redbeard Offline
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Post: #11
RE: what's your go-to method for dealing with approach anxiety?
A lot of it has to do with ego. Rollo Tomassi has a great article about "buffers," which really opened my eyes as to why you should approach more.

http://therationalmale.com/2011/08/26/buffers/
02-14-2014 02:54 PM
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AneroidOcean Offline
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Post: #12
RE: what's your go-to method for dealing with approach anxiety?
You know how when you were a little kid, or when you see other little kids scared shitless of trying something that all the rational adults around them are promising will be just fine if they go and just get it over with?

You know how afterwards the world doesn't end?

That's how fear of rejection (what I'd term approach anxiety) is. It's not rational, it's you letting your mind race and your emotions jump all over and not DOING SOMETHING ABOUT IT.

I've been rejected pretty hard sometimes. The worst thing that ever happened is that I felt shitty for a moment or two and then I moved on and then soon after laughed about it (at the absurdity of the rejection). In most cases, it ends up WAY better than you would've expected or imagined.

Rip the bandaid off.

Also helps me to consider that if a girl wanted to approach me, should she ever really be nervous or be worried about how I'm going to react? No. It'd be stupid, I'm not an exceptionally mean or fucked up person, I just might not be interested and let her know.

The WORST rejection is your own. When you don't approach, you are REJECTING yourself FOR HER. Why would you do that?

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02-14-2014 07:05 PM
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Lukkkkkas Offline
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RE: what's your go-to method for dealing with approach anxiety?
...
(This post was last modified: 02-15-2014 07:36 AM by Lukkkkkas.)
02-15-2014 07:33 AM
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RE: what's your go-to method for dealing with approach anxiety?
(02-14-2014 07:05 PM)AneroidOcean Wrote:  You know how when you were a little kid, or when you see other little kids scared shitless of trying something that all the rational adults around them are promising will be just fine if they go and just get it over with?

You know how afterwards the world doesn't end?

That's how fear of rejection (what I'd term approach anxiety) is. It's not rational, it's you letting your mind race and your emotions jump all over and not DOING SOMETHING ABOUT IT.

I've been rejected pretty hard sometimes. The worst thing that ever happened is that I felt shitty for a moment or two and then I moved on and then soon after laughed about it (at the absurdity of the rejection). In most cases, it ends up WAY better than you would've expected or imagined.

Rip the bandaid off.

Also helps me to consider that if a girl wanted to approach me, should she ever really be nervous or be worried about how I'm going to react? No. It'd be stupid, I'm not an exceptionally mean or fucked up person, I just might not be interested and let her know.

The WORST rejection is your own. When you don't approach, you are REJECTING yourself FOR HER. Why would you do that?

spot on right here. when i get rejected i laugh about it and find it hilarious. who gives a fuck?!
02-15-2014 06:48 PM
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