Post: #1

The #BackToTheKitchen hashtag got me thinking about a recent conundrum I've had. A girl I'm seeing wanted to cook for me so I said of course, god bless. She made some food and simultaneously undercooked it while burning the shit out of my pans. Took me a few hours to get them back into the kind of shape I like them in.

So what do you do when you've got a girl who wants to be in the kitchen but sucks at it?

Post: #2

(02-04-2014 04:05 PM)Ensam Wrote:  The #BackToTheKitchen hashtag got me thinking about a recent conundrum I've had. A girl I'm seeing wanted to cook for me so I said of course, god bless. She made some food and simultaneously undercooked it while burning the shit out of my pans. Took me a few hours to get them back into the kind of shape I like them in.

So what do you do when you've got a girl who wants to be in the kitchen but sucks at it?

Youtube vids for starters. Start with something simple.

Post: #3

Start small, cooking is a science but is stupid easy to do.

For me, the basic lessons I learned are the following:

1. Good recipes
2. Good ingredients
3. A good timer

It sounds like your girl hasn't developed her sense of cooking time. By that I mean, how long it takes to cook something at say 350* F until it is warm.

Try this game, instead of heating left overs in the microwave try heating it in the oven. I like to set my oven to 350 and then put food in. Seriously wait and feel how long it takes for the food to get hot at 5 minutes, 8 minutes, 10 minutes, etc.

As for pans, this is highly dependent on the type of stove you have. If it is electric, it will take a little more time. Gas is instant.

Finally, the key to any amazing meal (and not having the food stick!) is lots of butter. Get some good organic butter and don't be afraid of adding it in like a boss. The fat keeps the food from sticking.

Post: #4

Send her ass to cooking school in the evenings. Use that time to bang other chicks.



Fun fact: Do you know why women's feet are so small?

So they can stand closer to the stove.

Post: #5

Those are good tips Frenchie. I might print those out and put them above the stove for any future girl who wants to try her hand in my kitchen.

I can cook quite well and so I usually cook for myself and whatever young lady I'm entertaining that evening. I don't really want to take the time to teach them how to cook. I think Ali's idea is the best, though in the mean time I might get a set of crappy pans so they don't ruin my good ones.

Post: #6

why don't you just cook with them? have a recipe and teach them everything along the way. throw in tips as to how to not burn shit. drink some wine while doing it.

edit - also if she fucks your pans up, make her come over and help clean them. it reinforces the lessons you teach

Post: #7

Start with getting her to watch America's Test Kitchen (the PBS TV show). Their recipes are solid. They even have an online "cooking school":

America's Test Kitchen Online Cooking School

Proper cooking is more about learning a few basic skills, like roasting, braising, grilling, etc. Understanding when, why, and with what ingredients to apply them. You'll find that they repeat over and over and just the application is different. Once you have those down then it will be hard to mess up a recipe. Then you can start getting more creative.

Post: #8

I ain't teaching no bitch how to cook. She should have learned this basic life skill on her own.

Post: #9

I noticed a trend in the ME with Filipinas. The ones with lower paying jobs (no degree), like fast food, could cook like champs. The ones with degrees and in nursing/dental, for example, couldn't cook to save their lives. I guess their mothers treated them like a thoroughbred and did all the housework so they could concentrate on school. They did try like hell to cook and please me, but hell fire, the WORST pancit I had ever was in Kuwait. And I never had the heart to tell her. She made up for it with sex.

Post: #10

Bless her heart.

Post: #11

I once had a nice Christian girl tell me how she was so good at cooking she didn't even need to follow recipes. I was excited for some good bourbon chicken.

It ended up being the worst food I ever tasted. My drunk frat brothers cooked more delicious cuisine using stale hot-dog rolls and expired tuna.

I was figurtively starving to death and I couldn't eat more than 2 bites. I wanted to tell her, "If you don't know how to cook something follow the recipe you dumb bitch!" Instead I just drank the rest of the bourbon for dinner and had uninspired missionary sex.

Post: #12

If you're meeting a girl at the age of 25 or older then they ain't learning how to cook.

I would say by the time they graduate high school if they can't cook then don't bother trying to teach them.

Post: #13

I would respect and probably be patient with a girl who never learned how to cook but was willing to learn--it's not her fault she grew up in a fucked up society and her parents neglected their responsibility to teach her important shit. I guess the older she was, the more I would feel that she should have learned on her own anyway, though.

Post: #14

(02-04-2014 10:18 PM)gringochileno Wrote:  I would respect and probably be patient with a girl who never learned how to cook but was willing to learn--it's not her fault she grew up in a fucked up society and her parents neglected their responsibility to teach her important shit. I guess the older she was, the more I would feel that she should have learned on her own anyway, though.

Yeah - genuine interest no matter what the age can make up for surprising amount. My mother in law didn't know how to cook (she had a part excuse, her mom died when she was 13) and learned because my father in law only knew how to make macarroni and cheese, toast, and grill cheese sandwiches. After 3 months, THREE MONTHS, of the SAME FOOD she finally broke down and learned how to cook.

A bit more of a funny story is one of my statistics professors in university. A Cuban immigrant, he met his wife in Havana. She was quite taken with him and invited him over on how to cook.

Well, she didn't know sweet fuck all. Apparently, what she would do, was get him a drink and then park him in front of the baseball game while she worked. It was in a large apartment building (the kind where the women can talk to each other out of their kitchen windows, laundry rope that kind of thing) and she was shouting out the window for the first two months of the relationship for advice/instructions from the other women on how to cook the food.

The best part? My prof says he didn't find out about this until AFTER he married her a few months later. By then she could cook though. So, an inspired woman (anecdotally of course) can learn.

Post: #15

(02-04-2014 10:18 PM)gringochileno Wrote:  I would respect and probably be patient with a girl who never learned how to cook but was willing to learn--it's not her fault she grew up in a fucked up society and her parents neglected their responsibility to teach her important shit. I guess the older she was, the more I would feel that she should have learned on her own anyway, though.

This. Just by being patient and providing some general tips on mixing flavors, I've turned awful cooking girls into solid ones. The main thing that matters is the will to improve and do something loving for others (i.e. nurturing instinct), not technique. Technique can be learned, but the heart can never be changed.

Post: #16

The good thing is she want's to be a good woman to you. Just be patient and buy her a cook book or DVD set of some good cooking show. These things are the ones I never go cheap in supporting. Reward her femininity.

Post: #17

(02-04-2014 04:16 PM)Ensam Wrote:  Those are good tips Frenchie. I might print those out and put them above the stove for any future girl who wants to try her hand in my kitchen.

I can cook quite well and so I usually cook for myself and whatever young lady I'm entertaining that evening. I don't really want to take the time to teach them how to cook. I think Ali's idea is the best, though in the mean time I might get a set of crappy pans so they don't ruin my good ones.

No problem, also another tip:

Things that make meals taste amazing:

1. Butter
2. Garlic
3. Whole milk / butter milk

I cannot stress these three enough. If you're worried about fat and calories, then hit the gym more (i told that to one girl!).

Post: #18

-Is the girl willing to learn?

Or

-Does she not like to cook?

A girl eager to please will learn. She may not be making the best meals, but a willingness to try goes a long way with me.

Buy her a cookbook.

Tell her, "This is for you. I expect to be fed and I know you have the skills to make some bombass meals".

The encouragement should work.

If the book collects dust and she orders takeout for dinner every night, then she obviously doesn't give a fuck about pleasing you and she's already gone.

Post: #19

I grew up in NYC and never really had a mother who cooked. When my mother does cook, it's usually not very good at all. The idea of the woman cooking for me is entertaining and maybe would be really cool, I've never had a strong desire for it and often don't like the food girls have made for me in the past. My girl from my ltr of four or five years used to cook occasionally. I remember liking that.

I don't want to a girl to put her period juice in my food.

Post: #20

(02-05-2014 09:06 AM)soup Wrote:  I grew up in NYC and never really had a mother who cooked. When my mother does cook, it's usually not very good at all. The idea of the woman cooking for me is entertaining and maybe would be really cool, I've never had a strong desire for it and often don't like the food girls have made for me in the past. My girl from my ltr of four or five years used to cook occasionally. I remember liking that.

I don't want to a girl to put her period juice in my food.

Soup, you deal with some strange....strange....STRANGE....women.

Post: #21

Date culinary school students!

Post: #22

Be straightforward about what you like and don't like. If she cooks something for you and it's bad, tell her she should try something else next time.

Post: #23

(02-05-2014 09:06 AM)soup Wrote:  I don't want to a girl to put her period juice in my food.

In the Caribbean, they call that sweat soup supposedly to get a man to fall in love with her. I think el mechanico touched on that a couple of years back.

Post: #24

Just suck up your pride and cook dinner "together".... She is probably not going to get any better and that way you get to delegate out tasks that she can handle such as chopping onions etc.

That is pretty much my goto 2nd date, whether or not I have banged her.

Post: #25

http://fourhourchef.com/