Post: #26

Tuth that Maury compilation video is f'ing legendary!!

Damn, I'm reeling from it...

Post: #27

(01-07-2014 10:52 PM)dreambig Wrote:  

(01-07-2014 08:04 PM)Beyond Borders Wrote:  Personally, I have the same fears but I figure if shit happens I'll just have to step up to the plate. Raising a kid in one of these places isn't as expensive as it is in Merica, and you wouldn't be the first guy in the world to impregnate a woman he didn't want too. Sex is awesome but it leads to kids sometimes. Tough.

True, although just to be clear for the younger guys around here, this does NOT mean that you should marry the girl out of some sense of duty or "manning up". That would be an equally huge mistake. You can be supportive and be there as a father for the child. The frame needs to be set early on though . Don't take bullshit just to be able to see the child. It should seem to the mother as if you could walk any time, even if you won't. Many countries outside of the West have more father-friendly laws so you generally won't be forced to do much legally.

Absolutely agreed. Unless you have some reason to think she'd make decent wife material and are ready for that sort of thing, I also see no obligation to marry someone in such a scenario.

Quote:

(01-07-2014 08:04 PM)Beyond Borders Wrote:  If you don't like your odds in these types of situations, maybe a good idea to start strapping and be more selective about the punanny you hit.

Weirdly enough, all of my scares until now have been while I was strapping up. I have never had any issues going rawdog. Probably to do with having less incentive to pull out when you wear a condom.

Fair enough. I've had some scares while strapped too. Shit doesn't always work. Same with the pill.

Beyond All Seas

"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe.
To be your own man is a hard business. If you try it, you'll be lonely often, and sometimes
frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." - Kipling

Post: #28

Thanks to everyone for the advice. I spent the last 30 hours or so reading up on abortion procedures and the like on the internet. The girl is not in the city (where the uni and I am right now) cause of the winter break.

Despite what you may believe abortion in mexico, at this point (nearly 12 weeks) is not as easy as you might think. Many options where being discussed and I provided her some resources.

She seemed down with the idea since she asked me to see if pharmacies around town sold a particular medicine that can be used to induced abortions (just 200$!). Reading up on this shit is a 90% guaranteed abortion and can be tried more than once after a few days with little risk of complication before 12 weeks (including the 12th week). Girl still has little precious time to take this avenue.

Legal abortions are available until the 12th week at Mexico City but that presents its own set of complications... Beyond 12 weeks my home country fails me greatly but American abortion clinics carry up the procedure (With Vaccuming) even beyond 16 weeks! That is a road that could be taken but selling that shit (and paying for it) is difficult...

Now... what's really got me worried is she just told me she told her mom... Who knows what kind of shit she will tell her, too many unknowns unknowns have been introduced could be good for me or bad for me. I just don't know. Personally I'd like to see this pregnancy TERMINATED ASAP. I just think every other option (adoption or w/e) cause she could change her mind after having it or something.


I'll keep you guys posted since the thread has generated some attention and I could use advice on my next move(s).


P.S. Vasectomy ASAP. Fuck kids.

Post: #29

She is pregnant. Says she is not asking anything of me and won't abort. It might not be mine but what do I know. Seems like an opportunity to walk away from the whole thing but I'm sure that even if I take it nothing will be the same and at some moment it will come back to haunt me... Or it might not... I don't know if I should keep pushing for abortion (at this point it would be to done in the US cause they do it after 12 weeks.).

Maybe after I graduate I can just move and find peace of mind, I don't think I'll ever get that by staying...

Post: #30

What is her and her family's financial situation like?

What about paternity test? Does she seem like a hoochie? Or at least sexually active?

Is she hot? Cool?

Even if you walk away, you might regret it someday, Man. You'll probably look back at some point and want to know your own kid - I doubt it's something you can just forget about and leave behind. If you change your mind someday, at that point the kid (or the mom) might just tell you to fuck off. At the risk of adding to your anxiety, that would suck.

Also, I always kind of wonder when women say stuff like that. Just because she says she'll let you walk away with no obligations doesn't mean it'll play out like that in the end. A few things to think about.

I applaud you facing the situation head on and trying to iron it out one way or another. hard to say what you should do until you know if it's actually yours though.

Beyond All Seas

"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe.
To be your own man is a hard business. If you try it, you'll be lonely often, and sometimes
frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." - Kipling

Post: #31

DNA testing is extremely risky to perform in unborn children. I'm not comitting to absolutely anything until after birth and a test can be made. Also I am looking into adoption and trying to sell that, if the child is mine I don't want it to be without a father and proper care but I also don't want it.

The girl apporoached me first (never would have gone out for her myself) and basically free pussy landed on my lap, thought she resited sex the first time on her apartment eventualy she caved also told me that if I had met her X months ago she would've had sex the first time. What I'm trying to say is she is no virgin and even if the girl is dead set on me being the father (like she apparently is, I haven't asked otherwise) there is still a chance I'm not the father, especially considering how we've had absolutely 0 Contact for 3 months. (How the fuck she assumes a 2 month late period is due to stress I will never know.)

A man can dream of doing the I'm not the father dance but I know paternity is a real possibility. I just want my life back man...

Post: #32

Well, good luck bro.

Beyond All Seas

"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe.
To be your own man is a hard business. If you try it, you'll be lonely often, and sometimes
frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." - Kipling

Post: #33

Have you talked face to face to her after she told you?

If so, you should make her tak a home pregnancy test, they are cheap, just to see is she is actually pregnant.

Even if she is, there is a high chance its not yours. Why does she contacts you now, after 3 months?

A few questions that might raise red flags if positive:

- Did you used a condom?

- She came on to you. Did she had, or did you get the feel she might had other sexual partners at the time? (ie: does she gives that "slut" vibe?)

- Did she ignored you, avoided you, or in any way tried not to be in touch with you after the event? (ie: did she called you, messaged you, or just acter like a regular one night stand, spite the fact that you both attend the same university and had plenty of ooportunities to have contact with you?)

- Are you significantly better off than her economically/socially?

If any of these are true, she might be just looking for someone to be her babys daddy.

Commit to nothing. Your life was going allright up until she told you, so dont let her run your life for the next few months until HER baby is born. Your life is not ruined, its still YOUR life and you are still captain of your ship. (Even if the baby does turn to be yours, always remember that you are the captain. You rule over yourself, not her.) Tell her that "youll see", and do a paternity test as soon as you can. If its not yours, tell that bitch to go fuck herself.

If its yours, well, it cant be that bad. It might even be a good thing to have babies, everybody seems to be doing it.

Post: #34

What city are you in, by the way?

Post: #35

I was a too harsh with her when she first contacted me. After I came clean with her about all my fears and current emotions she stopped being so antagonizing and let me know she was gonna get a procedure in a clinic out of state.

Allegedly her pregnancy has already been interrupted. She says she doesn't want to see me until at least a month.


...

It could all be done and over but I'm still afraid she decided to keep it and is bullshitting me. I don't think there's anything I can do but hope she is telling the truth.

I feel very sorry about what this girl has gone through (abortion or otherwise) and had never realized what kind of destructive impact one can have. This has been the worst week of my life but hers must have been 100 times worse. I feel very guilty about that injustice, if she did abort I plan to offer her my friendship, if she wants it, and the promise that I will always try to help her with anything she needs if it's within my power.

The baby might not have been mine, and I did push for abortion but it is a terrible feeling. When I called a clinic in the US the word stuck in my throat. It is something monstrous. Right now, I intend to never have children.

Post: #36

(01-11-2014 02:31 PM)Spikeball Wrote:  Allegedly her pregnancy has already been interrupted. She says she doesn't want to see me until at least a month.

Dont worry man, she was never pregnant to start with. This is your clue. Trust me on this one.

Post: #37

Im guessing you are from one of the northern states. Im in Monterrey. Send me a PM if you want to meet up or talk over the phone, Ive been through this before and it helps to have someone to talk to.

Post: #38

(01-11-2014 04:03 PM)germanico Wrote:  

(01-11-2014 02:31 PM)Spikeball Wrote:  Allegedly her pregnancy has already been interrupted. She says she doesn't want to see me until at least a month.

Dont worry man, she was never pregnant to start with. This is your clue. Trust me on this one.

Yup. My thoughts exactly.

Beyond All Seas

"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe.
To be your own man is a hard business. If you try it, you'll be lonely often, and sometimes
frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." - Kipling

Post: #39

^^Mexican girl claiming to be pregnant to re-create the kind of over-the-top Latina drama she learns on Mexican soap operas every single night?

I'm sure that's never happened before.

   

Post: #40

El Hamstero is strongo on this one.

(I bet you have been waiting for a chance to use that one for a while.)

Post: #41

A glimpse inside a typical Mexican girl's head. Real drama starts @1:02. Keep in mind they've been watching stuff like this daily since they were old enough to leave their crib:

Post: #42

I guess she could have faked the whole thing. IDK. Anyways I shit myself but it looks like its over. We can all laugh about it now har har har.

Post: #43

So when you gettin snipped?

Post: #44

(01-12-2014 04:47 AM)commiejoe Wrote:  So when you gettin snipped?

Looking into it right now.

Post: #45

Since vasalgel isn't out yet (or is it?) and I don't know any info about a male reproductive pill, getting the operation is the best option right now (or condoms).
Don't have sex for 3 months after getting it, and make sure to get sperm count checks every once in a while, I think sperm banks still do this for free.
If you want to reverse it later in life, you can, but within a certain time frame, I think 10 years is the suggested max. You could always cryobank some sperm beforehand, but if you can't afford it, don't worry about it too much.
Your sex drive won't decrease, if anything it'll probably increase, for the lack of fear.

Post: #46

(01-12-2014 07:05 PM)commiejoe Wrote:  info about a male reproductive pill

After seeing what the pill does to women's hormones, there is no WAY that I want to take a pill that'll fuck around with my testosterone. That vasagel stuff looks promising though, but wont be out of human trials until 2015.

So until then; strap it up before you whack it up.

Post: #47

A woman makes a choice whether to have a child or not. Men don't have that choice. It's illegitimate for a woman to take what she wants from life (i.e. a baby) and make someone else pay the price for it.

It sounds like she may be a good Mexican girl and wasn't trying to do that, like most American women do. Tuthmosis also might be right on about the drama.

Either way, you shouldn't feel fault for not wanting a child and initially freaking out about it. That's your right and there's nothing wrong with it. If she did have a child and you wanted to help her out a little as you felt able, that would be commendable for sure, but certainly not required.

Post: #48

(01-11-2014 07:17 PM)Beyond Borders Wrote:  

(01-11-2014 04:03 PM)germanico Wrote:  

(01-11-2014 02:31 PM)Spikeball Wrote:  Allegedly her pregnancy has already been interrupted. She says she doesn't want to see me until at least a month.

Dont worry man, she was never pregnant to start with. This is your clue. Trust me on this one.

Yup. My thoughts exactly.

Alright, call me an idiot, but I am not grasping this as solid evidence - more of a gut thing I guess?

Just because she didn't want to see him for at least a month proves she wasn't pregnant? Why? Because in a month, her stomach is less swollen so it would match a woman who was not pregnant?

Post: #49

Note: @OP Not trying to influence your thoughts on this situation any further, as it sounds like you've got enough on the brain, so don't read too much into it. Who knows what the real deal was. Just answering samsamsam's question in this case.

(01-14-2014 10:16 PM)samsamsam Wrote:  

(01-11-2014 07:17 PM)Beyond Borders Wrote:  

(01-11-2014 04:03 PM)germanico Wrote:  

(01-11-2014 02:31 PM)Spikeball Wrote:  Allegedly her pregnancy has already been interrupted. She says she doesn't want to see me until at least a month.

Dont worry man, she was never pregnant to start with. This is your clue. Trust me on this one.

Yup. My thoughts exactly.

Alright, call me an idiot, but I am not grasping this as solid evidence - more of a gut thing I guess?

Just because she didn't want to see him for at least a month proves she wasn't pregnant? Why? Because in a month, her stomach is less swollen so it would match a woman who was not pregnant?

It's not solid evidence but it's highly suspicious and suggestive. Extreme drama queens - especially the gold-digging types - have been known to fake a pregnancy scare to see how a guy will react. If he doesn't act in her favor they'll sometimes say they need some time away as they gather themselves and figure out the next step.

Later it turns out to conveniently false alarm or they'll even say they miscarried after some time goes by. Or they'll say they went ahead and got an abortion without your help or emotional support (unlikely).

If the guy plays along instead of expressing a desire to abort, though, the real, real fucked up ones might even get him banging without a condum (she's already preggo, supposedly, so you figure big fucking deal) and then actually get pregnant for real.

In fact, there's been a trend in recent years of people selling fake positive pregnancy tests on Craigslist....

I'm not suggesting all women are like this by any means but there are certainly women out there who operate in this manner. I imagine the risk is higher for us guys playing the field in developing countries, as the woman often has more to gain and the guy is more of a prize than usual - not to mention more of an uncertain thing due to being from somewhere else.

Definitely happens in America too though.

But yeah, not a solid conclusion. Just seems like a suspicious situation so far. In any case, always good to get a confirmed pregnancy test where you're present before getting too worked up on what a woman tells you.

Beyond All Seas

"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe.
To be your own man is a hard business. If you try it, you'll be lonely often, and sometimes
frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." - Kipling

Post: #50

(01-07-2014 01:32 AM)kinjutsu Wrote:  A few years ago my friend went through a similar situation with a rando at a club. She slept around alot...
She pulled the same crap calling him up 3 months later saying she was later etc.
So he agreed to meet her and talk about what to do next. I went in his place pretending to be him, i've never met her or had sex with her so she instantly realized that she had the wrong guy and quickly excused herself to avoid further embarrassment.

This is fucking genius!