Post: #26

(12-15-2013 01:29 PM)Bill Wrote:  Yes positive thinking was also critisized by the founder of positive psychology which is more scientifically based.

I tried affirmations it didn´t work well. There are some merits one can switch some thought patterns but cognitive dissonance will probably fuck the brain in the long run.

The cognitive dissonance IS what screws up most people in the long run. You can say to yourself over and over "I'm awesome, I kick ass", but your mind is supposed to question you about it. Our minds really are like computer software in many respects.

It's not a bad thing in and of itself, it's a survival mechanism from more savage times. You say "let's go over that hill where we've never gone before", and your mind says "Probably not a good idea, there could be bears or tigers, and you'll get eaten". Without the mind's ability to assess risks, criticize, and second guess your decisions, you could die.
Therefore, you say "I kick ass, I rule, all the ladies want me", and your mind says "No, you pussied out and didn't approach that hot girl earlier, and you failed to seize that opportunity last week to ask your boss for a raise". It's only doing what it's supposed to do.
However, your mind also functions like a search engine. You ask it a question, and it seeks an answer.

"What's 2+2?"
"4".
"What do I want for dinner tonight?"
"Tex-Mex food at the corner joint would be awesome!"

Now, I'll finally get to my point:

I've found that a handy way to use an affirmation is to frame it as a question to be answered rather than a statement that can be refuted.

"I kick ass"
"NO, you most certainly do not kick ass, here are examples a, b, and c"

"Why do I kick ass?"
"Searching... Oh, you totally crushed that sales presentation last week, and you broke 250 lbs. on your bench press at the gym today!"

Post: #27

Great posts Gio and Fitz! Appreciate your thoughtful replies. I've been doing this stuff for almost 3 weeks now and have experienced some tangible changes in my life already. Powerful stuff.

Post: #28

Abstract on a study done on positive affirmations:
"Positive self-statements are widely believed to boost mood and self-esteem, yet their effectiveness has not been demonstrated. We examined the contrary prediction that positive self-statements can be ineffective or even harmful. A survey study confirmed that people often use positive self-statements and believe them to be effective. Two experiments showed that among participants with low self-esteem, those who repeated a positive self-statement (“I'm a lovable person”) or who focused on how that statement was true felt worse than those who did not repeat the statement or who focused on how it was both true and not true. Among participants with high self-esteem, those who repeated the statement or focused on how it was true felt better than those who did not, but to a limited degree. Repeating positive self-statements may benefit certain people, but backfire for the very people who “need” them the most."

I had a somewhat depressed (not really, but down on myself) for a few months during a dry spell last summer. Approach anxiety was through the roof...all the while saying to myself (and some others) "I think I'm the greatest person ever."

It wasn't until I said to myself "You suck at women, get over it. You can't talk to them, have absolutely no game...accept it." That fixed my approach anxiety so I could talk to women, and made me feel better in general. For me, at various times in life, when I simply owned the truth and admitted it to myself ("you're depressed" or "you suck at women" or whatever), it immediately helped.

Post: #29

I recently started reading "To Be or Not to Be Intimidated...That is the Question" by Robert Ringer. He focuses on reality-based thinking, and early on knocks the idea of positive thinking in the face of harsher realities. He wants people to deal with what is, not what they wish it to be. Sure, you should have a goal, but feels too many think just thinking positive will make things happen, instead of looking at circumstances more realistically, then acting accordingly.

Post: #30

I always find the Ted Talks video series to be inspiring. When I'm getting down on myself I'm not always in the reading mood but it's easy to throw on a video. Also, you get the charisma and motivation of the speaker as well in terms of tone and innotation and everything so I often find that even more inspiring. Anytime I'm feeling down or not confident I'll often watch the Ted Talks video with the women speaking about body language and power moves. That one always gets me inspired. Acutally doing power moves I find is very empowering as well.