Post: #101

Quote:Girl: I'll take a vodka / orange juice please.
Me: Well that's great, but you'll have more luck saying that to the bartender.

Love that line. I'll definitely use it!

Post: #102

(02-23-2014 12:26 PM)Incognito Wrote:  I still don't know what she meant to say with ''I allow a lot of things but I don't cheat.''

It means she was willing to blow you, but not let you fuck. Of course once you get hot and heavy with these girls they almost always change their mind.

Post: #103

"I only fuck guys who treat me like shit."

Post: #104

1. She thought I have a girlfriend. She had a boyfriend.
She was naked in my bed. Boyfriend calls. Her:

- No, I cannot come out to see you. I am GROUNDED.
- No, you cannot come up to my apartment to GIVE ME the money (he was giving her weakly allowance).
- No not even for a little bit. YOU IDIOT! (Hangs up. Turns to me):
- Honey bear, come here!

2. She thought I have a girlfriend.
It was 3 in the morning, after a party, she came to my place. I kissed her, she kissed back and then pulled away. Again same thing. 3rd time same + she said, smiling, with superiority :
“You have no chance with me“.

3. 28 married, with children, AT WORK, knowing I have a girlfriend.
3.1 My husband is out of town.
I didn't care => no reaction.
3.2. I miss having sex.
I.D.C. => N.R.
3.3. I love giving blowjobs.
I.D.C. => N.R.
3.4. (Clearly exasperated) Have you ever had sex with a maried woman? (looking at my face VERY focused to see my reaction)
I.D.C. => N.R.
3.5. If you didn't. You should.

Post: #105

5. This is not sexual/scandalous but it is outraging.

I was telling in a course in one master, that women tell men, regardless of age and status, what to do. My grandmother 86, 100% lucid, logic still tells my uncle, 60, what to do. He is a doctor. She asked him in a demanding voice: "Did you wash your hands?"

A girl in a very aggressive, patronizing voice:

Her: Why did she (your grand mother) say that?

I told her to calm down and that it does not matter.

Her: Why did she say that? (me, again: It does not matter)

It does. Why did she say that? [it was a trick question. I would have said because she cares about him. Then she would say...”see! So out of love, not controling”. I continued talking about another piece of evidence)

=================================================

She: IT DOES MATTER !!! what if he would have washed his hands with sulfuric acid ?!

Post: #106

6.She knew I have a girlfriend. “All the guys are always hitting on me and only interested in sex. You talk about other stuff”. (Kisses me and tells me we should go to her room).

7. Co-worker. +30
“I told my husband, if he is jealous he will force me to cheat on him”.
Thephrase "to force" means : "I was next to the stairs. He forced me/pushed me down the stairs."

Post: #107

8. We met by someone introducing her to me. After that she asked me out. We became a couple.
I asked her first impression of me, wanting to see what rolls out of her mouth, even though you cannot put much stock into what they say, but you can take some information.

“You were very aggressive. You didn't talk to anyone. You didn't even look at anyone. I thought you were a MONSTER”.

And so that is why she asked to be introduced to me.

Behavior like this has made me never want a “girlfriend” in high-school.
But after that, when I meet MY “unicorn” I appreciate her more AND I am more careful to remain the confident, INDEPENDENT man she fell in love with.

Post: #108

Delete.

Post: #109

Her : I can't get pregnant ...
Me:(what maybe she has a medical condition) why do you think that?
Her : cuz guys always cum in me and nothing happens.
Me :....... (just trying to resist the sheer laughter )

Post: #110

(01-16-2015 01:18 AM)RUIN Wrote:  http://textsfromlastnight.com/

may the best hamster wheel spin!!!!!

Found this little gem while cruising around on there

"I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??"

Post: #111

And another from TFLN...

"You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not"

Post: #112

(01-16-2015 11:58 AM)Ibagemyoutagem Wrote:  Her : I can't get pregnant ...
Me:(what maybe she has a medical condition) why do you think that?
Her : cuz guys always cum in me and nothing happens.
Me :....... (just trying to resist the sheer laughter )

so did you cum in her?

Post: #113

Girl from a club giving me a BJ this weekend, looks up at me and goes, "I love how your dick tastes so clean. I'm not used to that."

Erm.....

Post: #114

Woman from work who just started seeing a guy she described as "Not as good looking as the men I usually date" discussing her feelings about him:

"I'm confused, I'm not use to guys treating me this nice"

Post: #115

Former LTR, batshit crazy one
#1
Her: "Your dick is so nice looking, not scary looking"
Me: "yes he's very welcoming"

#2
Her: "I saved myself for you"...she told me she slept with 6 guys. Multiplied it by 4 to be safe

Post: #116

Don't wash my pussy juices off your cock! The thought of having my juices inside of your girl excites me like crazy! NO FUKKIN LIE!

Post: #117

There was a group of unhoused sorority girls who lived in my dorm who would always sit together at lunch and every week would be a new goldmine of dirty laundry said out loud.


one of them, on a Sunday: "I'm not going to class tomorrow. I don't want [him] to see me limping like this after what we did last night"


another one, on a Tuesday: "[Another girl at the table] has it so good. Why can't I get a guy with a great dick to just fuck me?"

Post: #118

"I'm married."

After the bang (SNL). Happened again a couple of years later with a different woman. I should have figured it out the second time - nobody fucks like that unless they're cheating.

Post: #119

"I'll do anything for you if you get a tattoo with my name, including marriage and anal".

Post: #120

I've had women spring the "I'm married" to me numerous times within a few minutes after we finished fucking. They don't do it before you bang them because they are afraid you might have a moral objection and deny them the dick.

Not sure why they feel compelled to tell you afterward, except that maybe they can rationalize to themselves that you "knew" and were thus complicit in the cheating, making them somehow less culpable. But of course you didn't know when you were fucking her-but what does that matter to female logic.

Post: #121

Was chatting up a married chick at a bar . Once she mentioned that her husband was out of town, I knew that she was giving me the green light. We went back to her house and after we got done, I asked her, when was her husband due back in town? (I was hoping to get another session in the following night). She says,"He's coming home tonight, He gets so horny when I pick him up from the airport with another man's cum in my panties"

Post: #122

"I don't know how many men I've been with. I know it's less than 80."

Post: #123

Paraphrasing but: "My girlfriend satisfies me completely but it's nice to have a big cock every now and again".

That was such an amazing bang. She was so good that I almost lost my game.

Post: #124

"My gynecologist told me the ph level of my vagina is too high to allow sperm to live. Please cum in me."
This was said by my child's kindergarten teacher I was fucking on the side.

Post: #125

Daddy, I wore so much of the sexy lingerie you got me last month on my honeymoon.

3 girls...