Post: #26

I think I was constantly negging my regular girl for the past 3 months too much because I have realized she is also negging me a lot now. I decided I didn't like it and told her that she was acting too much masculine and I like when girls are more affectionate and feminine. She got super pissed off and left. About 20 minutes after she left she text me saying this.....

Her: I dont mind just being freidnds.......Say something lol don't act all weird. Goodnight!!! Smile

Me: I don't do the whole friends with girls thing. Goodnight

Her: So you invited me over to oddly tell me its over?

Me: I never said it's over. I was just pointing out that I like when girls are affectionate and feminine and you got mad and left.

Her: lol you called me masculine. Doesn't really make me want to cuddle up next to you and it was embarrassing.

Me: Maybe I didn't say it in the best way but I was saying how I felt.

Her: Which is great but don't be an ass. It is hard for me to show affection when I don't know where I stand. It's been almost three months and nothing has changed so I question where this is going. As for femininity, I really don't know what to tell you.

Me: Come back over

Her: I've already taken my clothes off and contacts out.

That was last night and then today around 12 I told her "Come over later"

She finally text me about 5 hours later (she had been working)

Her: I have to warn you I'm having a rough day.

I think I was probably negging her too much because in the beginning she wasn't like this as much but I have kind of been an ass to her.

Any thoughts on what I should've done differently? At what point do you stop negging a girl has much or did I handle this properly and she just wasn't a quality girl? She was 21 and I think I was only her 5th or 6th sex partner.

Post: #27

(12-23-2013 07:27 PM)-Snake- Wrote:  Since this thread is taking all types of questions, I'll post my current one.

Alright so I get this girls number about a year ago through one of my brothers girls (it's her little sister). We talked for a good while but I was young at the time and thought I had something "serious" with my LTR. It was definitely stale until I sent out a mass text about a week ago. We chatted for a bit and whatnot so I asked if she wanted to see a movie or something. We set it tonight because of some shit she was doing. I texted her yesterday thinking that it was Monday and said that "the movies at 7." She said "tomorrow?" I checked and it still was and I said "yeah." Blah blah blah after that. Then I text her at about 5:30 today

Me: "are you ready?"
Her: "OMG I TOTALLY FORGOT *like 8 crying emojis* PLEASE DONT HATE ME"

At first I thought on to the next one, but then I thought what if this bitch actually forgot. Then I kind of settled it with the fact that she knew yesterday.

What to you all think?

Sounds young.
Game on.
Keep spinning plates.

You may be concerned that you're training her to be flaky, but if we're talking younger than 23, this is normal behavior.

She may or may not be lying, it really doesn't matter. You're not trying to wife her.


WIA

Post: #28

(12-23-2013 08:58 PM)murrb Wrote:  I think I was constantly negging my regular girl for the past 3 months too much because I have realized she is also negging me a lot now.

It happens. You don't need to constantly cut into and criticize a chick. (and I think by negging, you really mean small and constant insults, not back handed ambiguous compliments and teases)

Even if you are teasing, gently, sometimes a chick wants a rest from it. You didn't recognize it, and have now trained her to respond in kind. And she won't stop now. (especially now that you've let it known that it bothers you)

This is a red pill moment. Which pill to take?

She wants commitment and no change in her behavior.
You want a change in behavior, but doesn't seem like you care about committing to her.

The blue pill is to commit and try and work on her.

The red pill sees a chick for who she is, and doesn't try to change her behavior. (well my version of red pill at least)

You can string her along, make demands, but the over-arching problem seems that this girl has you by the gonads. You might not be able to induce the fear of loss, or competition anxiety in your current situation.

So if rude girl has you by the balls, the red pill answer is to gently place your balls in the mouth of the next chick.

Doesn't mean you have to break up, but you're violating rule #1 by not having good options at all times.

Behavior Mod this late in the game (3 months), especially when you haven't been mindful of it - is tough. But only you know if this girl is worth the energy you'll have to put forth to regain control of the relationship.

WIA

Post: #29

West is the best

Post: #30

(12-23-2013 08:58 PM)murrb Wrote:  Her: I have to warn you I'm having a rough day.

While WIA gave some good advice for women in general (especially if you've truly lost that much frame), I think in this situation in particular, she's asking for you to show her that you do care for her (obviously you do at some level) and she's asking for some comfort. I'd go with a simple:

"That's cool, we've all had them. Come over and I'll help you relax and smile again."

Then before she comes over you make sure to have a nice bottle of wine handy, some chill music, and something light/refreshing to snack on. This all costs you very little. Then you have her come in, take her shoes off, put her purse down, tell her you want her to sit and relax and tell you about her rough day so she can get it out and then forget about it Then you help her wind down with a mini massage or just talking while you pour a couple glasses of wine, bring out the snack, and just let her get shit out, but don't let the topic linger too long on her day.

Have her get it out, then change the subject and get it on something you both enjoy or something you can both laugh about. Once you've got her laughing and smiling again tell her, "Don't you feel better now?" and make sure she agrees with you, then move on to some more chilling if you think she needs it, or if she's ready start warming her up and escalate towards some hot sex. She should be a demure kitten again by the time the night is over and you can explain to her gently that your words weren't right, but you just need her to chill out a bit more so you can enjoy your time together better.

That is, if you like having her around. If she's a worthy girl, just helping her relax like this and then giving her the good dick will have her fall right back into a happy spot.

Post: #31

(12-26-2013 06:03 PM)AneroidOcean Wrote:  

(12-23-2013 08:58 PM)murrb Wrote:  Her: I have to warn you I'm having a rough day.

While WIA gave some good advice for women in general (especially if you've truly lost that much frame), I think in this situation in particular, she's asking for you to show her that you do care for her (obviously you do at some level) and she's asking for some comfort. I'd go with a simple:

"That's cool, we've all had them. Come over and I'll help you relax and smile again."

Then before she comes over you make sure to have a nice bottle of wine handy, some chill music, and something light/refreshing to snack on. This all costs you very little. Then you have her come in, take her shoes off, put her purse down, tell her you want her to sit and relax and tell you about her rough day so she can get it out and then forget about it Then you help her wind down with a mini massage or just talking while you pour a couple glasses of wine, bring out the snack, and just let her get shit out, but don't let the topic linger too long on her day.

Have her get it out, then change the subject and get it on something you both enjoy or something you can both laugh about. Once you've got her laughing and smiling again tell her, "Don't you feel better now?" and make sure she agrees with you, then move on to some more chilling if you think she needs it, or if she's ready start warming her up and escalate towards some hot sex. She should be a demure kitten again by the time the night is over and you can explain to her gently that your words weren't right, but you just need her to chill out a bit more so you can enjoy your time together better.

That is, if you like having her around. If she's a worthy girl, just helping her relax like this and then giving her the good dick will have her fall right back into a happy spot.

She came over late around 10 and I was already in bed. She came right into my place took her jacket off and cuddled in bed with me. 5 minutes later we were having sex and it felt good.

I think when I finger her she pissed the bed a little though. haha

Post: #32

How do I improve my social intelligence? Reading situations in a bar, club or party - which girls are open and which are not. Is it a experience thing or something you pick up on by cues?

Post: #33

(12-27-2013 12:49 AM)JayD Wrote:  How do I improve my social intelligence? Reading situations in a bar, club or party - which girls are open and which are not. Is it a experience thing or something you pick up on by cues?

I would start with body language, and I would start with the following:

* Turn on sitcom reruns on TV.
* Mute the volume.

Pay attention to how characters react to each other when speaking, entering and leaving rooms, sitting down/standing up, how their body language correlates with making a point or dropping a laugh line. Cross-reference against the Mystery list of IOIs.

Seriously, this was a huge step forward for me - undistracted by the words (which in many situations may be the least meaningful part of the communication) I was able to build a habit of concentrating on body language and the patterns of attention. It turned out my social intelligence wasn't bad, I just wasn't using it because I was concentrating on other things (like logically parsing the things people were saying).

I also watch football with the sound off because I love watching the game be played and hate listening to blowhard announcers.

You might also read a book called "What Every Body Is Saying."

You really just want to be able to get a quick read of who is comfortable and not comfortable, who acts like an outsider and who acts like they own the place, who wants to leave and who is down to stay where they are. Don't expect to do a lot of mindreading, e.g. "if she touches her arm and then fluffs her hair it means she is sexually excited." Just look at the big picture and whether people's moods are changing.

Another thing is to (surreptitiously) observe couples out to eat. You can tell from their gait, hand motions, leg motions (esp the latter) how into each other they are. You'll get a lot of sad data from married couples.

Post: #34

http://www.returnofkings.com/20729/16-wa...t-a-cougar
Article being related to my quick question. I've always heard around the forum and RoK that cougars are easy for quick sex etc., but the thing is I have yet to run into any. Is this weird?

Post: #35

Once you get the nonverbal body language down, from there you can move on to observing conversational dynamics. I'm riffing here, but I see social intelligence as keeping track of two things:

* The power structure in a conversation
* What each person in a conversation wants/needs

The first is easy to understand as a concept. Who's leading the conversation, and who is just participating? Someone who's doing a lot of the listening can still be the "leader" or hold the power - think of someone whose advice is being sought, the seeker us supplicating to the expert even though the supplicator is doing the bulk of the talking.

If you want to disrupt the power structure, you need to be very deft so you don't look like an AMOG clown, insult a respected member of the group, or piss off the rest of them.

If someone is interrupting, they are trying to take power. If the group is letting them interrupt, the group is granting power. Inverting the power structure - like talking to the hot girl's less-hot friend first, or steering the conversation to a topic that the super-fratty douche guy is weak in
- can reveal who is chill and how has a "need" to be in charge/the center of attention. If you have good game, you can then "poke" t their insecurity. U mad bro?

I always recommend talking to old ladies or husbands first if either are in a group, but generally anything to prevent putting hot young women in the driver's seat of the discussion from the word go. The biggest neg you can ever pull is to have more value in a conversation than she does (that's really the fundamental aim or the neg, anyway).

I tend to go for an affable, magnanimous vibe, never get heated about anything, I'm just there to have a good time, and give people a chance to talk about their expertise because it shows I'm interested in them, but I'm asking the questions I want to know so I have the power.

As for the "wants and needs" point, you need to observe to figure out if someone wants a logical question answered, wants to be listened to, needs some material favor, just wants to be in the comfort of people who know what they are talking about or make them feel good, etc. I don't have a system but if you can effectively cold-read some of that you can make yourself look really, really savvy and earn major comfort/familiarity points with everyone.

Post: #36

(12-23-2013 12:59 PM)BadgerHut Wrote:  

(12-22-2013 10:42 PM)bike0369 Wrote:  Thanks guys. Disappeared for a few days and then after a few texts, we set a date for Sun. I demo-ed DMV, and we were having drinks and fun. She even apologized for her cold behavior on last date.

After a while though, she starts telling me about her current 'available' status -since March this year, her ex-bf from two years ago - who she's going out on a trip with (he lives in Europe and they're going to an exotic country for a week)! That was very weird, so I said good luck! She replied that she wants to move on, and hope can convince the guy to do so as well. I'm like whatever. Change topic, and back on drinks. We also split check.

As we walk to get taxi, I kiss her but she was very stiff. I ask her why and she says she is not ready. After 5 mins I try again, again she kisses, but is stiff and looks intensely. I ask her to say whatever she has on her mind, and she says 'can we just be friends? Non-romantic'!! I immediately reply, I had fun today, but being a platonic friend is not for me. We take taxi, I get dropped at my place. She goes into a big rant on have a good Xmas, holidays, new year etc etc... And then says see you in new year, perhaps. I kiss her on lips, and say, yes, perhaps.

1. What did I do right; wrong/could have done better?
2. Next steps to get her in bed, if possible
3. Observation: splitting checks doesn't work. So far whenever I have split check, no bangs. All 7 bangs this year have come when I've paid for drinks/food.

This shit is a hot mess. I'd write it off mentally, send her a restart text (like a non-sequitir preferably) in January and maybe you can get a restart bang. I would consider it dead in your mind though. Chicks who are still socializing with exes are prone to bizarre jealousy/rebound behavior that makes things unnecessarily difficult for you.

So I sent a restart text around Chinese new year, and she responded very quickly. All my texts were answered within few minutes, while I took hours to reply. So I thought I'll throw an idea to meet. First she says "Good point. As?" I reply "I'm open minded, if you're too". She goes silent and comes back 12 hours later with: "sure, would be great to meet for some activities together. Just so you know though, I've entered a somewhat exclusive relationship recently".

What does that mean? WTF is somewhate exclusive??!! Any good reply suggestion guys? All I want now is pump and dump this chick.

Post: #37

Last year, I made a real beta approach (text ask out) to a girl who was in my group for a school project. A year later, I've improved my appearance, been less timid in my conversations with her (I don't seek her out, just run into her at school from time to time). Should I try to close again, or is too try hard to try again?

Post: #38

(02-07-2014 02:55 PM)Tommy Eyes Wrote:  Last year, I made a real beta approach (text ask out) to a girl who was in my group for a school project. A year later, I've improved my appearance, been less timid in my conversations with her (I don't seek her out, just run into her at school from time to time). Should I try to close again, or is too try hard to try again?

This is all about you.

What about her? Is she showing any interest? Does she touch you, does she put effort into being in your area/in your conversations? If so there could be a chance, but it's not likely.

Go after new girls. There's nothing that will make girls want you more than other girls wanting you/being seen with you.

Post: #39

(02-04-2014 10:47 PM)bike0369 Wrote:  

(12-23-2013 12:59 PM)BadgerHut Wrote:  

(12-22-2013 10:42 PM)bike0369 Wrote:  Thanks guys. Disappeared for a few days and then after a few texts, we set a date for Sun. I demo-ed DMV, and we were having drinks and fun. She even apologized for her cold behavior on last date.

After a while though, she starts telling me about her current 'available' status -since March this year, her ex-bf from two years ago - who she's going out on a trip with (he lives in Europe and they're going to an exotic country for a week)! That was very weird, so I said good luck! She replied that she wants to move on, and hope can convince the guy to do so as well. I'm like whatever. Change topic, and back on drinks. We also split check.

As we walk to get taxi, I kiss her but she was very stiff. I ask her why and she says she is not ready. After 5 mins I try again, again she kisses, but is stiff and looks intensely. I ask her to say whatever she has on her mind, and she says 'can we just be friends? Non-romantic'!! I immediately reply, I had fun today, but being a platonic friend is not for me. We take taxi, I get dropped at my place. She goes into a big rant on have a good Xmas, holidays, new year etc etc... And then says see you in new year, perhaps. I kiss her on lips, and say, yes, perhaps.

1. What did I do right; wrong/could have done better?
2. Next steps to get her in bed, if possible
3. Observation: splitting checks doesn't work. So far whenever I have split check, no bangs. All 7 bangs this year have come when I've paid for drinks/food.

This shit is a hot mess. I'd write it off mentally, send her a restart text (like a non-sequitir preferably) in January and maybe you can get a restart bang. I would consider it dead in your mind though. Chicks who are still socializing with exes are prone to bizarre jealousy/rebound behavior that makes things unnecessarily difficult for you.

So I sent a restart text around Chinese new year, and she responded very quickly. All my texts were answered within few minutes, while I took hours to reply. So I thought I'll throw an idea to meet. First she says "Good point. As?" I reply "I'm open minded, if you're too". She goes silent and comes back 12 hours later with: "sure, would be great to meet for some activities together. Just so you know though, I've entered a somewhat exclusive relationship recently".

What does that mean? WTF is somewhate exclusive??!! Any good reply suggestion guys? All I want now is pump and dump this chick.

After waiting on three days on her 'somewhat exclusive' text, I replied with "cool, let's celebrate your ending years of solitude next week. Drinks on you." She replies WITHIN A MINUTE. "Sounds good. Let's meet day xxx or yyy". This chick is either a pro at gaming, or just confused thoroughly in her life. I need to up game and may get a bang, but given by past couple of experience, will need to keep it super tight.

Thoughts/comments welcome.

Post: #40

(02-07-2014 02:55 PM)Tommy Eyes Wrote:  Last year, I made a real beta approach (text ask out) to a girl who was in my group for a school project. A year later, I've improved my appearance, been less timid in my conversations with her (I don't seek her out, just run into her at school from time to time). Should I try to close again, or is too try hard to try again?

Just ask her to join for a drink while you're with your friends, better if a girl or two in the group. Game hard and take it from there.