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Blue Balled Third Date
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KeepMovingForward Offline
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Blue Balled Third Date
Background: Met this girl a few months ago, super busy girl with school, first date we had drinks, she wouldn't even let me kiss her, said "it's too soon." Second date, made out, sent her home since she lives with her parents. Third date she came to my place, I had planned for us to go out to a few bars, she said it's too cold and wanted to stay inside, in my head I'm thinking "perfect, no pretext needed to go back to my place."

We watch a movie, I'm kissing here sporadically and she's lightly stopping me. Movie ends, I start kissing and she starts saying she needs to go home. I say I understand and keep kissing her. She resists whenever I grind into her pelvis or try to feel her up. This goes on for almost an hour, and I hear "you're leaving soon, I can't have a sexual relationship with you." In my head I'm flabbergasted that this girl would come over and willingly be alone with me and not even allow me to grab her tits. Total fucking last minute resistance. The farthest I got was grabbing her boob for a few seconds before she would pull my hand off and say "stop."

I know this stuff happens to everyone, my question is, what the fuck could I have done differently? I know this girl likes me, but she's holding back hard. I am extremely fucking frustrated right now, unfortunately she could tell I was upset when she was getting ready to leave.

Roosh forum, any advice?
11-08-2013 11:05 PM
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Christian McQueen Offline
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Post: #2
RE: Blue Balled Third Date
She's not worth your time.

If a girl isn't into kissing you on the first date, odds are she's never fucking you.

Eject and go meet new girls this weekend.
11-08-2013 11:32 PM
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Aliblahba Offline
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Post: #3
RE: Blue Balled Third Date
Never kiss on the first date.
11-08-2013 11:37 PM
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MrXY Offline
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Post: #4
RE: Blue Balled Third Date
You should not have given her a second date

If a girl wont at least make out with you on the first date she either isnt very attracted to you or isnt very sexual.

As you get more experience you will learn to screen girls better

"If anything's gonna happen, it's gonna happen out there!- Captain Ron
11-08-2013 11:43 PM
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Travesty Offline
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RE: Blue Balled Third Date
(11-08-2013 11:43 PM)MrXY Wrote:  You should not have given her a second date

If a girl wont at least make out with you on the first date she either isnt very attracted to you or isnt very sexual.

As you get more experience you will learn to screen girls better

Another good test is if she is willing to lose control a bit when it comes to alcohol and getting a heavy buzz. If she is watching how she drinks like a hawk, then it is usually not on. Move on faster.

Mow through them. Your mindset should be glad to dump her out of the pipeline if she fucks up the first date so you can move on to better girls.

And do not believe girls excuses for being too busy ever for the most part. It is all just talk. Plus if they really are that busy, it means your sex life will be so limited.

SENS Foundation - help stop age-related diseases

(05-19-2016 12:01 PM)Giovonny Wrote:  If I talk to 100 19 year old girls, at least one of them is getting fucked!

WestIndianArchie Wrote:Am I reacting to her? No pussy, all problems
Or
Is she reacting to me? All pussy, no problems
11-09-2013 08:57 AM
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Vicious Offline
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Post: #6
RE: Blue Balled Third Date
You know guys, it might be that she's a keeper. Question is if OP is in the market for a keeper or just want to get winky wet.
11-09-2013 09:10 AM
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iknowexactly Offline
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RE: Blue Balled Third Date
(11-08-2013 11:05 PM)KeepMovingForward Wrote:  Background: Met this girl a few months ago, super busy girl with school, first date we had drinks,

Any girl who uses the word "busy" has less than a 3% chance of being any use at all.

Well, maybe that's an oversimplification. But it's a vague weasel word used by players and distant chicks.

The sexual girls I've known who genuinely were "busy" (pre-med) still didn't use THAT WORD.

They mentioned the specific thing they had to do--"I have to study for the chemistry test tonight"

Because they didn't identify with being someone who's unavailable "busy". They were thinking "When can I get some dick?" and fitting in the chemistry study around that hahahhaa.


"The goal of {amoral} capitalism is to reduce all human interaction to the cash nexus." L. D.
(This post was last modified: 11-09-2013 10:40 AM by iknowexactly.)
11-09-2013 10:38 AM
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KeepMovingForward Offline
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Post: #8
RE: Blue Balled Third Date
Thanks guys, all the advice makes sense. I made the mistake of thinking she would be willing to go further with a few more dates, but I made the even worse mistake of not making time to meet more girls and have more options.

I will chalk this one up as a learning experience. Lessons learned:
1. Don't waste time on time wasters.
2. You can't get every girl.
3. "Busy" girls are usually a complete waste of time to pursuit.
4. Even girls who like you can/will use you for validation/good feelings. This girl was legitimately into me, but she never turned off the logic side of her brain during escalation so to her I was a very "safe" makeout buddy.
11-09-2013 11:49 AM
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azulsombra Offline
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Post: #9
RE: Blue Balled Third Date
OP-

You said you meet her a few months ago?

How much time did you go between dates? It sounds like if she was initially interested too much time may have passed and she found other options. I wouldnt have wasted 3 dates with this girl. You said on the third date you got denied the boob-grab? Why didn't you try the boobgrab when you were making out on the second date? You could of at least got a quick BJ/HJ in a car if she lives with her folks. You had nothing to lose and at least you would have known then where you stood with this girl.

Every experienced guy has dealt with LMR before because every girl isn't going to ride your cock the first day you meet them. Nevertheless she should be making some effort to please you and keep you interested if she's really in to you.

I would move on to other females, I don't buy the "busy" excuse. Seems like this girl has a fuckbuddy or something on the side and while she might like you she is gonna waste your time.

"I'm not afraid of dying, I'm afraid of not trying. Everyday hit every wave, like I'm Hawaiian"
(This post was last modified: 11-09-2013 01:58 PM by azulsombra.)
11-09-2013 01:54 PM
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KeepMovingForward Offline
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Post: #10
RE: Blue Balled Third Date
(11-09-2013 01:54 PM)azulsombra Wrote:  OP-

You said you meet her a few months ago?

How much time did you go between dates? It sounds like if she was initially interested too much time may have passed and she found other options. I wouldnt have wasted 3 dates with this girl. You said on the third date you got denied the boob-grab? Why didn't you try the boobgrab when you were making out on the second date? You could of at least got a quick BJ/HJ in a car if she lives with her folks. You had nothing to lose and at least you would have known then where you stood with this girl.

Every experienced guy has dealt with LMR before because every girl isn't going to ride your cock the first day you meet them. Nevertheless she should be making some effort to please you and keep you interested if she's really in to you.

I would move on to other females, I don't buy the "busy" excuse. Seems like this girl has a fuckbuddy or something on the side and while she might like you she is gonna waste your time.

On the second date we were at a park at the end, no cars involved. I still did go for the boob grab, obviously got denied. Also, I didn't clarify that I'm leaving her country in a few weeks, so that doesn't help my chances.

But yeah there was a lot of time between dates, 2-3 weeks for each one, so that also didn't help.
11-09-2013 02:32 PM
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Ensam Offline
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Post: #11
RE: Blue Balled Third Date
In terms of escalating I've found ass and hip grabs to be way more effective than boob grabs. Ass grabs where your fingers reach around to the inside of her thighs are now my go to move.
11-09-2013 02:37 PM
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azulsombra Offline
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RE: Blue Balled Third Date
(11-09-2013 02:32 PM)KeepMovingForward Wrote:  
(11-09-2013 01:54 PM)azulsombra Wrote:  OP-

You said you meet her a few months ago?

How much time did you go between dates? It sounds like if she was initially interested too much time may have passed and she found other options. I wouldnt have wasted 3 dates with this girl. You said on the third date you got denied the boob-grab? Why didn't you try the boobgrab when you were making out on the second date? You could of at least got a quick BJ/HJ in a car if she lives with her folks. You had nothing to lose and at least you would have known then where you stood with this girl.

Every experienced guy has dealt with LMR before because every girl isn't going to ride your cock the first day you meet them. Nevertheless she should be making some effort to please you and keep you interested if she's really in to you.

I would move on to other females, I don't buy the "busy" excuse. Seems like this girl has a fuckbuddy or something on the side and while she might like you she is gonna waste your time.

On the second date we were at a park at the end, no cars involved. I still did go for the boob grab, obviously got denied. Also, I didn't clarify that I'm leaving her country in a few weeks, so that doesn't help my chances.

But yeah there was a lot of time between dates, 2-3 weeks for each one, so that also didn't help.

2-3 weeks between dates with a girl you haven't banged yet is insanity.

You have zero momentum at that point and attraction can fizzle out.

Especially with cute young girls with a short attention span. In 3 weeks how many dudes have hit on her? Depending on city/country could be a hundred. Take this as a learn experience, strike while the iron is hot.

"I'm not afraid of dying, I'm afraid of not trying. Everyday hit every wave, like I'm Hawaiian"
11-09-2013 02:43 PM
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