Post: #1

Okay not sure if this is right to be in the game section but figured it related to women so looking for some advice. I stay in shape, workout, eat healthy and try to look nice so appreciate my partner doing the same. My past two girlfriends have both wound up putting on quite a bit of weight to the point I'm not really that into sex and them anymore but at the same time feel bad or shallow for bringing it up.

Part of the reason both had some health issues / health scares so I cut them some slack but at some point you gotta get back on point.

Long story short first gf was about 10 years older than me, fake boobs, rocking body when we met. About 5 years in she starts putting on quite a bit of weight. Not only did it affect our sex life and my attraction to her but almost to the point kinda embaressed to bring her to family events and stuff. Wind up breaking up, not just cuz the weight just not a good fit and age diff wasn't working. Find a new gf like 6 years younger than me. Never a rock hard body but attractive girl, nice looking latina just a little thick but nothing bad I kinda like that.

Anyhow, she was a scare finding a lump in her boob, has surgery, out of running and working out for a while because of that, I get that totally patient and understanding of that but almost a year later hasn't really changed anything.

How do you guys deal with this? We all know women and weight and apperanace hard to bring something up without either destroying them and making them go crazy emotionally or your an asshole and superficial for bringing something up.

Is there any way to approach this topic delicately and let someone know they gotta whip themselves back into shape as its affecting your attraction to them and your sex life?

Post: #2

Dump her. It's the only way. If she doesn't love or respect or herself how do you expect her to love or respect you. How can you be with someone you are not sexually attracted to?

Post: #3

Dump her.
Yeap.
Before you can't get up when she's on top.
Or else you're fucked.
Quite literally.

Post: #4

dump her.

Post: #5

1)Breakup

or

2)Realize that the weight gain is caused by the horrendous American diet, have her eat the following:

Breakfast:
3-4 eggs fried in coconut oil or butter

Snack(if hungry)
Handful of mixed nuts
or
plain full fat yogurt with berries/fruit

Lunch
Large salad with dressing made of 3/4 cup olive oil, 1/4 cup vinegar, 1 tbsp dijon mustard, 2 cloves garlic
Put whatever meat(shrimp, steak, chicken, tuna, sardines, etc) and whatever vegetables(spring mix, spinach, arugala, onion, tomato, avocado, scallions, etc) you want in this

Dinner
Any meat
Grilled/sauteed vegetables
Sweet potato with sour creme or butter

Within a month she will probably be at her ideal weight, if not close to it. The key is to cook yourself real food 90% of the time.

Post: #6

^Above.

Too much work! Dump and get a new one!

Less work and new pussy, all good

Post: #7

I don't understand how so many guys are forced to walk on eggshells with the girl they're dating. If you can't say exactly what you're thinking because you're afraid of how she will react, your frame is weak as fuck. You've already lost.

Girlfriend putting on weight?

You should say, "You look fat. You need to do something about that."

If she gets mad then make fun of her for being fat and angry, and tell her to go to the gym to blow off some steam.

Post: #8

My boy used to moo at his girl anytime she ate junk food. Mooooooooooooo

Post: #9

How can a chunky latina be so valuable to an in-shape guy? Also sounds like you settled for her in the first place. Now you are engaged in the sunken cost fallacy: you invested X time in her/with her, so you might as well try to salvage it. Forget it. That time is sunk regardless of what you do or don't do. Whenever you are feeling like you're straining or going out of your way for a girl out of a bad motive (desperation, urgency, loneliness, horniness, etc.) you need to re-align your thinking into interpreting this as a signal to find another girl. Channel those energies even to just talking to new attractive girls. You would not believe how much just doing that will make you feel better.

Post: #10

Next her. Life is too short.

Post: #11

Invite her to the gym with you if you think she's special.

Only do this if you love her.

If she is easily replaced, or if she refuses to go with you, take someone else with you to the gym or find one there.

Post: #12

(11-06-2013 06:04 PM)Parlay44 Wrote:  My boy used to moo at his girl anytime she ate junk food. Mooooooooooooo

its good to know people think like me

Post: #13

If she is your girlfriend you have already determined she is above a lot of other girls. You determined she is a keeper and its not easy to just show her the door as people here are saying. Theres a million reasons as to why your girlfriend might be putting on weight.

The best thing to do is talk to her and let it be known she is not going down a path that is acceptable to you. Don't sugar coat it but don't be an asshole either. "I am beginning to find you less attractive." is all you need to say and if she starts getting emotional and saying those stereotypical things you know she is going to say just hold firm and don't waver.

What does it say about you as a man if your serious with a girl you can so easily discard?

Better yet, don't let it get to the point where you find her unattractive in the first place.

Post: #14

If a girl chooses to get fat while in a relationship with you, it means one of the following:

-She's TOO comfortable in the relationship and that's partly your fault due to weak Frame.

-She's lazy and lacks discipline.

-She has a thyroid problem. Less likely, but it can happen. There's doctors/meds for that.

-She's depressed.

Regardless of the previous reasons, you have to be the Man of the relationship and LEAD her.

"Honey, put on your workout shoes, we're hitting the gym"

"Nah we're not eating McDonalds. Here's a recipe, cook it up"

"I bought you a gym membership. You're going"

If she refuses to eat right and maintain a sexy figure then she DISRESPECTS you. Period.

If so, eject and send her my '5 Reasons Why Fat Girls Don't Deserve Love' Fat Shaming ROK article.

Post: #15

(11-06-2013 07:26 PM)Jaylow Wrote:  If she is your girlfriend you have already determined she is above a lot of other girls. You determined she is a keeper and its not easy to just show her the door as people here are saying. Theres a million reasons as to why your girlfriend might be putting on weight.

The best thing to do is talk to her and let it be known she is not going down a path that is acceptable to you. Don't sugar coat it but don't be an asshole either. "I am beginning to find you less attractive." is all you need to say and if she starts getting emotional and saying those stereotypical things you know she is going to say just hold firm and don't waver.

What does it say about you as a man if your serious with a girl you can so easily discard?

Better yet, don't let it get to the point where you find her unattractive in the first place.

I appreciate all the advice from everyone but this advice best fits me I think. I get the whole game thing but I'm not a jerk, I care about people who've been there for me and have been loyal to me and just because the girl is putting on a few pounds doesn't mean I'd kick her to the curb that quickly. If caring about people and not being an asshole makes me a beta I guess so be it but then I'm still stuck with this problem lol.

She has recently told me she knows she's put on weight, shes sorry blah blah blah so gonna give her a chance to make an effort to whip it back into shape. I think i'm somewhat to blame myself, I turned her into a pothead which is cool cuz I like smoking with her but where as I snack on some baby carrots or a mango she's grabbing boxes of cookies lol.

Reason I put up with it as much as I have is she had a cancer scare, had to have a surgery. With stress and being not able to workout for a while I think I'd be a jerk not to curt her a little slack. Now that all that is over though things have gotta change.

Post: #16

Nuke the relationship. Cheat on her, then go to her and tell her, saying you were drunk bla bla bla -she is fat- bla bla bla -you no longer feel the same about her- bla bla bla -lets work it out (meaning she has to go diet and gym)-.

Either she will understand, or it will be over. Alternatively, you may next her.

Post: #17

I have always found the only way to make anything work in this sense is too get her to do it yourself.

Make her eat good food as that is what you are eating (get her to come over for dinner and cook together somthing healthy etc), Take her on a 45 min hike on the weekends, Get her to come and swim some lengths with you at the outdoor pool.

If she does good compliment her, if she slacks make her feel bad subtley about it.

Make them like date activites, they need direction. You are the one to give it to them.

This is a large effort but if you are invested in her it is worth it.

All this dump her stuff is unproductive in the terms of the question asked.[/align]

Post: #18

Quote:She has recently told me she knows she's put on weight, shes sorry blah blah blah

Hope you responded with; "Then do something about it."

Don't be nice about it. I've called out a GF for putting on weight in the past and after the crying and wailing saying I was so mean, guess what?

She stopped eating Blizzards and started exercising.

Post: #19

My past GFs all picked up gym and healthy eating habits from me, without me telling them to do so. I think they understood that, from my unspoken attitude, I'd drop them if they didn't. My attitude is conveyed through how often I talk about healthy diet and exercise habits and the fact that I'm a living example of them.

After we broke up, they all got fat quickly to make up for lost time lol. I happened to meet up with one today for lunch (we're still on friendly terms). I couldn't believe my eyes. She used to be a svelte European girl that I could toss around with one arm, and now she's like a typical fat Aussie chick twice the old size. And her current boyfriend puts up with it. Yet with me just for lunch today, she reverted to her old habits: watched her portion size at lunch, then later, when we walked into a cake heaven café, she just wanted a coffee, same as me. Probably ran straight back to that place to gorge on cakes after we parted though

If you're one of those guys who think being a "supportive" partner - i.e making excuses for her fat arse - is the way to go, your girl will never lose weight. Ever.

Post: #20

I second everyone's motion on here to leave her.

HOWEVER, if you feel like you must stay, I think Patrice O'Neal gave the greatest advice on this subject (a youtube search yielded no results).

Basically, you step up your game. Start holding your frame, ignoring her, and then don't sleep with her. Basically do everything that a guy who is cheating on his girl would do (which I recommend, but again if you are stuck, act). Get a second phone and lock it, will look like you hide shit from her.

Don't be overt, don't threaten her with it. But she will sense that you are planning an exit strategy and her fat ass will be on a treadmill TOMORROW.

Post: #21

(11-06-2013 04:52 PM)LEMONed IScream Wrote:  Dump her.
Yeap.
Before you can't get up when she's on top.
Or else you're fucked.
Quite literally.

One of the scariest moments of my life was when I had a SIF riding me and I couldn't possibly remove her from my crotch after my cock got bent a few times during her attempt at "riding" me.

Never again. NEVER AGAIN!

Post: #22

The gaining weight thing is what I call Nuclear Shit Test 2 (see here)

When my girl started gaining weight I basically alternated between fat shaming her and giving positive reinforcement for anything healthy she might be doing. I also made it a point to do 'healthy' activities for our dates. Although she threatened to leave me I just kept at it, and she managed to lose the weight, and she seems much happier for it - all women enjoy being thin.

That said, considering that if you pass this shit test you will only end up in Nuclear Shit Test 3, it's up to you to decide whether this woman is worth all the trouble.

Post: #23

Have a talk with her and explain that she is becoming less and less attractive to you due to her weight gain and that this is of great concern to you. You don't have to be a jerk about it, but you have to be firm and unapologetic.

As a result, she should begin working on it immediately, starting at the latest within a few days.

If she doesn't start, she's lazy. Decide how long you want to stick it out and give her chances to improve. Possibly talk again to ensure she takes it seriously.

If she spouts feminist bullshit about "curves", "body image" and "thyroid problems" at her, dump her. That means she's rotten to the core and her body weight is simply a reflection of the abysmal shape of her mind, rather than an accident that she could fix.

This approach has worked reliably for me in these rare cases. Of course, there is still a certain amount of time needed to shed those pounds, even with the best effort, and I don't know if you're patient enough for that.

Post: #24

Personally I'd avoid having a prolonged discussion.

Mention her weight gain in a casual way to feed the hamster.

Squeeze her cheeks.

Call her Little Miss Piggy.

Make jokes about her beer belly.

When you eat out, ask her if she wants the extra large size of everything.

If she still doesn't get the hint then soft next her - just stop answering her communication for a while. She will catch on.

Post: #25

If you havn't dumped her yet..