Post: #1

I noticed my bottleneck for improving my game is tagging along in conversations. You do the initial opener, talk about the opener, blablabla. At one point you switch from the initial topic to a new topic. There are a lot of topics I can talk about but I have noticed that I'm not good in tagging along in conversation about subjects I dont care about. I noticed this when I was hanging around with natural player who is my house mate.

I'm better looking guy than him but he got much more girls than me in the short period we know each other because he mastered the skill of conversation. I noticed he can talk about any topic even if he knows very little of it and even knows nothing about it and at the same time being interesting and fun to listen to. I don't know how he pulls it off. I noticed he uses statements more than questions but there is a certain flow, a certain charm, certain enthousiasm I can't pin-point and pull off.

I don't know what it is called. Vibe or something? Although I read a lot of pick-up books I have to admit I can be boring sometimes because I have always been introvert. I'm not the guy I have to be to be allround pick-up artist. Only girls I can pick up are girls who are fallen for me, not girls who are neutral towards me and I have to game them and pull them towards my side. I'm trying to improve but it is so hard because I have been like this my whole life. I can't change my personality over night neither do I expect to. If I try to hard I come off as needy and low value, if I don't try to hard, I come off as boring and sometimes I'm doing everything right and I'm really good.

Having good conversation skills is so important. Something you can't learn from a book. Sometimes I'm really good at it and sometimes I'm so so bad at it. I can't pinpoint what I'm doing wrong when I'm bad at it. I think it is not the conversation skills because I know I have it. I think it has to do with my psychological mindset.

Post: #2

I got better at conversing as I got older. Several girls even tell me I am a great conversationalist. The funny thing, the ones who tell me that are the ones who talk the most! They think I'm a good conversationalist, because I help them feel comfortable about talking.

The key there is feed them a lot of topics (using free association). When you see them act passionate about a topic, then you act passionate. Ask open ended questions and make statements, but mostly, get the fuck out of her way and let her talk.


The great gift of conversation lies less in displaying it ourselves than in drawing it out of others. He who leaves your company pleased with himself and his own cleverness is perfectly well pleased with you.

- Jean de la Bruyere