Post: #1

I really only started having this problem about a year or so ago. I hit up bars or clubs twice a week to go out and be social, and to bring girls back home. However, there have been quite a few instances where girls just completely shut down on me while talking. Or, girls eye fuck me from a distance and when I approach they become ice cold and difficult to hold conversation. I sometimes ask what their deal is and they always say that I'm really intimidating. What?

Guess I have a real physical presence. I'm 6'6 235lbs and I try to wear good fitting shirts so they complement my body type. Never thought this would actually hurt my chances with women, thought it would help.

Always have a smile on my face so I try to make myself approachable and friendly, but there's still that intimidation factor. Just trying to figure out what I need to work on so this doesn't happen on such a frequent basis. This all seems like some gigantic shit test.

Any of you gents experience this? Advice would be greatly appreciated.

Post: #2

I've been looking into this myself, essentially they have already accepted you as a suave, high value motherfucker and are attracted to you. They've already accepted you as the dominant, higher value man and you just need to run "don't fuck it up game" from here rather than trying to build up further attraction.

If you over do the attraction building, they end up closing off and going quiet, they don't respond as well as they were just previously, etc. as they go into "auto-reject" mode where they feel like you're unattainable to them so they feel rejected and they deal with this by closing you off and possibly even convincing themselves that you're mean, a dick or too intimidating. This all happens within seconds to minutes.

This is why it is important that you are able to gauge her reactions and interest on the fly and adjust your game accordingly, ie. move from more joking/teasing into building a deeper connection faster with some girls than others.

What I've been finding is that having strong body language, eye contact, vibe, etc. (all of the subcommunications) that indicate dominance can often be enough to get a girl interested and attracted (you can tell by their strong reciprocation of eye contact, they are very engaging, ask plenty of questions, etc.) without having to use any or many verbal displays of dominance.

This all goes back to the notion that it isn't so much what you say, but how you say it.

Here are some links that flesh this out some more:

http://www.girlschase.com/content/being-...rning-them

http://www.girlschase.com/content/secret...-rejection

Post: #3

A little self deprecating humor, or really any humor would go a long way in your situation. Just don't overdo it.

Post: #4

Smile. "Me? Scary?"

Post: #5

I am in the same situation. Tall, buff and a strong face.

Smiling helps a lot

If I approach a girl that has seen me in a bar, shooting the shit with my mates, I'm less likely to intimidate her. She has seen me laughing and playing around. If I meet a girl when I'm taking care of things with my stoic default face, she will be wondering if I am an axe murderer.

Acknowledge your presence

I was talking to this girl in a bar. She seemed interested but very reserved and shy. I couldn't figure out what the problem was. Then when I said (word-for-word) "Do I intimidate you?" she immediately said she was and it looked like a weight fell off her shoulders. Same night lay.

Dress sharp. Dress metrosexual. Dress ... But don't dress too tough.

You look alpha as fuck. 6'6" and 235 pounds is beast. You don't need to dress like a marine.
Instead throw in some contrast and dress more sophisticated.
I used to dress more Euro-fag and it worked wonders.

Remember it's a good thing. It's great to be big. Enjoy it.

Post: #6

Sorry I didn't want to hijack your thread, but I had almost the same problem on Friday.

Basically last Friday I went in a club, and started dancing a lot, while bouncing around the multiple rooms it had. I am nowhere as good as Samseau, or Michael Jackson, but I must say that I have become quite good at dancing... And while I was showing off, I had on 4 or 5 occasions girls who accepted to dance with me, for like minutes, say thank you with a bright smile (meaning they enjoyed it), then tell me they wanted to danse solo, or go back to their friends afterwards. There was even one girl who did not want to dance at first because for her, she was not good enough to dance like me.

Basically, I danced TOO good it seems, and while the week before I pulled a girl without showing too much my skills, this time I think I overdid it.
I fully agree with the answers which were given here: don't come off too strong, be more "accessible" and let your skills show themselves without too many efforts from you.

Post: #7

From the point of view of a guy that has big friends, and what they do (or not do) that can intimidate women.

They guys that I grew up with and I have maintained close friendships with are all big. I am the smallest at 6'2" 190lbs.

Quote: If I approach a girl that has seen me in a bar, shooting the shit with my mates, I'm less likely to intimidate her. She has seen me laughing and playing around. If I meet a girl when I'm taking care of things with my stoic default face, she will be wondering if I am an axe murderer.

This is what I notice has the most benefit to attract women. No matter what, you will get noticed so by being in a good nature and laughing with people around you it allows the women to come nearer without "scaring the cat" away.

One of these guys is perhaps the best looking guy I know. 6'4" and a shredded 190. But he broods (ex male model) and he often scares the women away with his intensity. But when he is in a group of us and laughing he gets absolutely the most attention.

Quote: I've been looking into this myself, essentially they have already accepted you as a suave, high value motherfucker and are attracted to you. They've already accepted you as the dominant, higher value man and you just need to run "don't fuck it up game" from here rather than trying to build up further attraction.

This also applies to other men. There will be a lot of male attention on the group and guys will want to test the creds. So many nights can be ruined by a couple of the guys getting drunk and playing into the insecurities of other guys. Women catch this vibe quick and are fast to duck out. Scraps between guys that are 6'6" 235 are brutal and shit gets destroyed if its in the way. Women have this hardwired and can feel the energy often before other guys can.

Play nice with other guys, show that you are a fun and easy going man and allow the other lesser men around to breath easy. Once they know you are not going to pummel them things lighten up significantly.

Post: #8

(10-13-2013 03:30 PM)Laner Wrote:  So many nights can be ruined by a couple of the guys getting drunk and playing into the insecurities of other guys. Women catch this vibe quick and are fast to duck out. Scraps between guys that are 6'6" 235 are brutal and shit gets destroyed if its in the way. Women have this hardwired and can feel the energy often before other guys can.

Yeh. Some guys do this all the time. I don't get this. It's like -I have good times going at others- formula. See O'Neal and Barkley. Shag going at Charles all the time like crazy. Barkley just chill out. But when its opposite Shag get mad very fast.

(10-13-2013 03:30 PM)Laner Wrote:  Play nice with other guys, show that you are a fun and easy going man and allow the other lesser men around to breath easy. Once they know you are not going to pummel them things lighten up significantly.

This is true. With easy going guys time flies.

Post: #9

(10-13-2013 02:43 PM)Samseau Wrote:  Smile. "Me? Scary?"

I've actually used that exact same line a couple times. They usually reply with "yea, you're a big guy so you really tower over me and make me feel tiny."

To that response, I say something along the lines of being clumsy or uncoordinated. That usually helps because then the girls most of the time start rubbing their hands on my arms or chest and call bullshit.

Quote:Dress sharp. Dress metrosexual. Dress ... But don't dress too tough.

[quote]

It may be the way I dress. I wear v-neck shirts that are a little tighter around my arms and a nice pair of jeans. Maybe I have to step up the style of dress even though everyone in this area dresses like a bum.

[quote]
Play nice with other guys, show that you are a fun and easy going man and allow the other lesser men around to breath easy. Once they know you are not going to pummel them things lighten up significantly.[quote]

I try to be as social as possible and not look like I want to fight every person in the bar haha. Whenever in larger groups, I'm always trying to initiate conversation and include the dudes who are in that group. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. Might just be something outside my control.

Post: #10

Im 6'2" or 6'3" 190lbs.

I spent a lot of time doing the "alpha, quiet thing", but i found out just being relaxed and giving girls smiles was better.

- Smile more
- "Wander" around the bar/club aimlessly and then just stop near hot girls
- Don't psyche yourself up. Just "meet friends"
- Keep the topics light.
- Start touching her quickly.

You'll be doing it right when the girl's nervous energy turns into giggle and smiles and open body language.

Post: #11

(10-14-2013 10:28 AM)DVY Wrote:  Im 6'2" or 6'3" 190lbs.

I spent a lot of time doing the "alpha, quiet thing", but i found out just being relaxed and giving girls smiles was better.

- Smile more
- "Wander" around the bar/club aimlessly and then just stop near hot girls
- Don't psyche yourself up. Just "meet friends"
- Keep the topics light.
- Start touching her quickly.

You'll be doing it right when the girl's nervous energy turns into giggle and smiles and open body language.

I like the concept of wandering around the place and stopping near good looking girls. I usually just post up at the bar with some people and enjoy the night making approaches. Going to start wandering a little more and see how it goes.

Post: #12

This reminds me of the problem that Fisto - who apparently is another fellow with a real physical presence - had in Thailand
http://www.rooshv.com/how-one-man-banged...n-5-months

Post: #13

I think fisto just hits them over the head with his club then drags them home by their hair..