Reply with an awwwwwww.

Ignore for two days.

Follow up with, is the princess off her high horse yet?

Need help on this possibly for tonight. Backstory - fucked this girl once of Tinder, great tits but chubby. She offered to cook for a second round but it fizzled. I dont really want to fuck her again unless its a threesome.

After more than a week of silence on a saturday :

Her : what are you doing tonight ?!
Me: do you have a girlfriend that you would like to kiss ?
Her : What kind of question is that ?!
Her : I dont think so...
Her : But maybe yes
Her : Why ?! and you a guy ?!

How do I manouver this so that she talks one of her girlfriends into it so that the 3 of us would go for drinks ?

Walked right into this one on tinder. Girl jokingly tells me she needs 3 references for her to give me her number. Exchange below:

Eddie: Can i give you the names/numbers of past tinder dates?

Her: Are you sure past Tinder dates are the best references??

Eddie: Uh yeah. Mine loved me

Her: Loved you enough to be past??

Eddie: All good things must come to an end.


I got her number anyway but I'm curious what you guys would have said. Trying to get better at shittin on shit tests. Didnt give my response much thought as theres plenty of women but i do think its an incredibly shitty one

(03-23-2014 10:50 PM)EddieValiant Wrote:  Walked right into this one on tinder. Girl jokingly tells me she needs 3 references for her to give me her number. Exchange below:

Eddie: Can i give you the names/numbers of past tinder dates?

Her: Are you sure past Tinder dates are the best references??

Eddie: Uh yeah. Mine loved me

Her: Loved you enough to be past??

Eddie: All good things must come to an end.


I got her number anyway but I'm curious what you guys would have said. Trying to get better at shittin on shit tests. Didnt give my response much thought as theres plenty of women but i do think its an incredibly shitty one

No no no.

She's qualifying you and you're falling for it hook line and sinker.



Girl jokingly tells me she needs 3 references for her to give me her number.


"ugh. unsubscribe"

"barack obama, saddam hussein, donald duck."

"wow you're a keeper."

flip the script.
she's being facetious. call her out on it indirectly by not taking her seriously.

Yeah, I was about to say "unsubscribe."

not taking it seriously is fine as well

So I'm new here, been reading a lot of these threads trying to learn as much as I can. Doing my best to translate what I've learned into action. This is a OKC convo between me and a 21yo. I'm 26, if that has any bearing on the situation.

Me: I dont think spending one of the two days you spent backpacking through Europe alone constitutes what you are trying to imply about your independence. Mar 20
Me: Not serious... Mar 20
Me: Kinda serious... Mar 20(All Consecutive)

Her: More like 45 days backpacking by myself all around Europe, ridesharing, and couchsurfing. You know many girls that do that? If so id like to meet them,
I'm sure they'd make great travel buddies Mar 21
Her: I can definitely see the devils advocate though. I've obviously impressed you, you're turn Mar 21 (Consecutive)

Me: Hmm, my guess is you also picked up on the frustratingly sharp element, too. At least enough so that it got you to add an element of time to your blurb about backpacking. Mar 21

Me: I probably haven't done as much as you. The best I got is about 6 months ago I quit my lame job, packed my truck and drove 700 miles out here to live the life that I wanted. I ended up landing a career with 45 dollars to my name. I also landed three day weekends, I nice perk for traveling. Mar 21
Me: High risk, high reward. Mar 21 (Consecutive, around 12 - 15 hrs later)

Her: so what was the life that you wanted? And high risk high reward is definitely true Mar 23 (noonish)

Me: That's a loaded question, and something better explained via conversation over drinks. It does seem that I have also impressed you, though. Mar 24 (11 am ish)

Her: hmm maybe you have, maybe you haven't quite yet Mar 26 (around 2 am)

From what I gathered, this is a shit test, right?

I was thinking responding with " I have "

or " I have, now whats your number so we can get that drink"

I don't think this warrants a "..." , right?

Thoughts?

^You're playing into her Frame.

With online Game and even with a number you get in person, you have to set up logistics for drinks ASAP.

My gut tells me she's a whore in the sexual sense and the attention seeking sense.

Girls don't travel alone backpacking solo and are not putting out. Not happening.

Since we've established she's a slut, the next move is to get her out for drinks.

I would use this: "this app acts weird on my phone. Shoot me your number"

If she doesn't then forget her.

If she does, then text her to set up drinks. No talking about her trip or her period. Stop asking or commenting on her life. It's attention for her and feeds into her Frame.

Sidebar: NEVER ask a girl if you've impressed her. That's asking for her APPROVAL which is not needed. She needs to be seeking YOUR approval and qualifying herself to you.

I'm in Paris. Asked this violinist out on a dancing date. Great chemistry and connection. Moved her to my house. Caress, kiss her all over the neck and cheeks but she refuses to make out, though she doesn't move away from me. Then she playfully accuses me of being a player, and how I'm very persistent to get what I want. She mentioned she would like to meet again. Great girl, smart and genuine.

After two days I text her to go grab dinner. She said "I finish late and actually wants to stay quiet until the next week, if you don't mind"

Me: "A quiet exotic dinner will be good for you and your music. How about tmr if u prefer?"

Her: "No thanks, really...."

I'm gaming other girls while waiting, but I dont want to give up on this girl yet. Suggestion? My locals friends here keep saying in Paris you cant kiss close on first date unless it's bar/club, and that I'm coming off too strong. But I don't buy that shit.

(03-26-2014 02:02 PM)Dalaran1991 Wrote:  I'm in Paris. Asked this violinist out on a dancing date. Great chemistry and connection. Moved her to my house. Caress, kiss her all over the neck and cheeks but she refuses to make out, though she doesn't move away from me. Then she playfully accuses me of being a player, and how I'm very persistent to get what I want. She mentioned she would like to meet again. Great girl, smart and genuine.

You started out great with this. You should've told her, "You're right about one thing, I do go for what I want..." then escalated again later.

(03-26-2014 02:02 PM)Dalaran1991 Wrote:  After two days I text her to go grab dinner. She said "I finish late and actually wants to stay quiet until the next week, if you don't mind"

Me: "A quiet exotic dinner will be good for you and your music. How about tmr if u prefer?"

Her: "No thanks, really...."

I'm gaming other girls while waiting, but I dont want to give up on this girl yet. Suggestion? My locals friends here keep saying in Paris you cant kiss close on first date unless it's bar/club, and that I'm coming off too strong. But I don't buy that shit.

You got her dancing, close to you, physical (at least through dancing)/emotional/mental connection and most importantly BACK TO YOUR PLACE then you asked her to get a quiet exotic dinner (presumably somewhere NOT YOUR PLACE)?

Why are you going backwards? You're coming off as too thirsty and wanting to wine and dine her. Probably dried up any tingles she had for you. She gave you a polite decline. You should've reframed.

At this point I doubt she's much into you but I'd go radio silent and reinitiate late next week.

Quote:You got her dancing, close to you, physical (at least through dancing)/emotional/mental connection and most importantly BACK TO YOUR PLACE then you asked her to get a quiet exotic dinner (presumably somewhere NOT YOUR PLACE)?

Why are you going backwards? You're coming off as too thirsty and wanting to wine and dine her. Probably dried up any tingles she had for you. She gave you a polite decline. You should've reframed.

At this point I doubt she's much into you but I'd go radio silent and reinitiate late next week.

*TRIPLE FACEPALM* fuck me in the ass and slap me with a dildo. WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING????

You are so damn right bro. I must have gone blind there, or that was my old beta self getting a revival. I thought I buried that fucker deep under 6 layers of misogyny.

I lost before I sent those texts. I lost the moment I shifted from the "let's fuck this girl" frame to the "this girl is nice. let's get to know her frame"

I don't know how I got there, but I will never go back there again. This was a valuable lesson. Thanks for pointing it out to me. Sometimes we are too blind to our own shortcomings.

I was enjoying the girl too much and I started to care. The moment you care is the moment you lose.

It's a lost cause and I deserved it for my wussiness. One moment of betaness to ruin an entire night of alpha hard work. Experience for another time.

*deleted, double post*

I asked some girl out on okc, said she was intuiting clever an could banter with me, just some compliments

She replied with shit test of once you prove you're smart enough you'll get my number and more. Then doubled down with you've not made me smile ever once yet.

How do I counter

Guys can you give me some interesting answers to what are you up to

90% of the time i am doing something boring like working on stuff or reading

Give me some material to work with here guys.

so you say totally ridiculous things like saving orphans from a burning building

I know but i can't seem to think of ridiculous things

I need a few 4-5 stock ones
Ones that i can segue into other things
Preferably sexual stuff

To be honest I mostly try to make them personal instead of stock ones. If you can make something up that connects with her (based on profile/whatever you know of her) it's usually better.

I do have a google doc file where I copy/paste all the funny stuff & advice that I find on this forum & other places and read through it regularly. Not to use them ad verbatim but as a source of inspiration and to set myself in the mood when texting.

Also as a general advice that I took from soup: try to involve kissing /making out in your texts. It's less explicit than sex, and more innocent but it gives you the right frame to work with when you meet up. If they do react offended you can go for something like "why, aren't you good at kissing?" and hinting that you're very good at it.
For example : My regular "thing" is that I invite girls to my place instead of dates, and when they ask if a bar/restaurant date isn't more appropriate for the first time I sometimes answer with "But what if you like me, i don't enjoy making out in public".
They will probably come back with a shit test or slightly surprised, but when they do agree to meet you have them in your pocket.

Thanks Casio

My biggest issue is i have trouble keeping girls interest via texting for 2-3 days till we meet. You gotta keep her buying temp up

Have an open book here - trying not to be a bitch and come down with a case of oneitis, but I started messaging this positively gorgeous 6'0" Ukranian girl on okc and here is the thread thus far (verbatim):

Preface: Her "first thing people notice" said she was tall and in her interests she lists dancing and "balley"

3:45pm - ME: 6' that IS tall. You and I should get to know eachother. Tell me all about your "balley"

12:16am - HER: About ballet?) I just like it, yes its very hard to dance but its wild-looking beautiful :-)

8:00am - ME: Something very elegant about seeing a tall, beautiful girl moving gracefully. Your profile says you speak Russian and Ukrainian, are you eastern European?

8:57am - HER: Yes, I'm)

9:14am - ME: I like that, where from?

11:15am - HER: Ukraine)

12:03pm - ME: Interesting, you should teach me some Russian I love the language

12:10pm - HER: Oh,realy?)ok,and what would you teach me?)


...Don't want to be a pig but don't want to be a bitch either.

(03-27-2014 11:32 AM)General Stalin Wrote:  Have an open book here - trying not to be a bitch and come down with a case of oneitis, but I started messaging this positively gorgeous 6'0" Ukranian girl on okc and here is the thread thus far (verbatim):

Preface: Her "first thing people notice" said she was tall and in her interests she lists dancing and "balley"

3:45pm - ME: 6' that IS tall. You and I should get to know eachother. Tell me all about your "balley"

12:16am - HER: About ballet?) I just like it, yes its very hard to dance but its wild-looking beautiful :-)

8:00am - ME: Something very elegant about seeing a tall, beautiful girl moving gracefully. Your profile says you speak Russian and Ukrainian, are you eastern European?

8:57am - HER: Yes, I'm)

9:14am - ME: I like that, where from?

11:15am - HER: Ukraine)

12:03pm - ME: Interesting, you should teach me some Russian I love the language

12:10pm - HER: Oh,realy?)ok,and what would you teach me?)


...Don't want to be a pig but don't want to be a bitch either.

"teach me how to say 'kiss me'"

edit
oh i misread.

"I would teach you American slang"

Too late I blew it. Tried to escalate and make her qualify (hailmary?) but it turned her off:

2:30pm - ME: Hmm Depends if you're a good teacher or not. What do you want to learn? If I like you maybe I'll teach you how to kiss

2:54pm - HER: no,thankd

(03-27-2014 03:20 PM)General Stalin Wrote:  Too late I blew it. Tried to escalate and make her qualify (hailmary?) but it turned her off:

2:30pm - ME: Hmm Depends if you're a good teacher or not. What do you want to learn? If I like you maybe I'll teach you how to kiss

2:54pm - HER: no,thankd

Better to say nothing than something you're not sure about.

Things that make your response not great:

1. You accepted her frame
2. You issued a challenge (good) yet IMMEDIATELY supplicated to her by asking her what she wanted to learn (bad), then you made it worse by telling her that maybe you'd teach her how to kiss.
3. Then you added a smiley face to make sure all gina tingles were completely dried up.

Doubt there's much to salvage at this point. Keep your answers shorter, don't accept her frame or if you stay on that topic make it much more interesting, kill the smiley faces and perfect grammar/punctuation. Look, she's using shit grammar/punctuation with you, what makes you think that she's going to notice that in a positive way?

Every guy wants to kiss a girl, this is why you'd never "teach" her that until you've already established flirting/joking around and sexualized the conversation. Otherwise you come off as thirsty. Do the opposite of what most guys would.

True true. I'll send emoticons if the girl does first, and I keep it minimal, but I have learned that a few emoji's slipped in once and a while help to build comfort. Messaging from my phone it autocorrects all my spelling and grammar and I feel like a total asshat if I purposely go back and edit my texts to suck.

What would you have typed for a return message instead of my long beta-creep message?

I asked some girl out on okc, said she was intuiting clever an could banter with me, just some compliments

She replied with shit test of once you prove you're smart enough you'll get my number and more. Then doubled down with you've not made me smile ever once yet.

How do I counter

OKC last 2 days

Me: your not the crazy, clinger type are you?

Her: haha no..are you?? (next day)

me: Only to girls I dont like, you seem like you might be ok though. ( 5 hours later)

Her: Logical. and thanks ( minutes later)

I don't know how to interpret this. The timely response seems good, but the lack of wording doesn't. Any Ideas?

Ask her something witty/fun about something specific in her profile to change the subject, build some comfort, and show you read it. If her profile is boring/uninspiring then go for something outrageous/silly. You want to get her comfortable enough quickly enough to exchange number so you can move to text and off of the okc messaging volley

Usually I'll say something like "youre alright, I would consider getting generic takeout food with you and binge watching obscure indie movies on netflix"