Background:
Met this (Latvian) girl in a high-end department store in London on Saturday. She had a serious demeanour, responded only a little to teasing; stayed talking to me for a decent period of time ~10 minutes and was engaged. Decent eye contact but not a strong hook, though she seems like she's just got quite a straightforward/serious demeanour.

Is she just saying no politely and this is a simple next?

Thanks in advance for any feedback.

[12/06, 21:03] EXPERIMENTER: I'm wondering if it's also raining in sleepy Kingston.....
[12/06, 21:04] Adriana: It is actually not too bad in here, so I cannot complain
[12/06, 21:04] Adriana: Is it really bad in central?
[12/06, 21:45] EXPERIMENTER: Monsoon style rain earlier. What's your schedule like next weekend? We need to meet for another serious conversation
[12/06, 22:07] Adriana: Well i have a tough schedule for the rest of this month. I have my masters proposal due this Fri so ill be working hard, then I have a group of firmeds visiting me in London for almost a well and then I have a vacation trip with my classmates until the end of this month. So I will be free beginning of next month only, which is quite some time ahead...

That looks like a brush off, but you never know, there's no harm in reopening it next month. I wouldn't contact her before then.

(Duplicate, apologies.)

Never met her, only internet messaging 2nd day. She wants to date, LTR and doesn´t send nude photos exept her potential boyfriend. I don´t want to date her, only bang:

Me: Since morning I went to gym and made some project to school
Her: Let´s be honest, it´s too bad weather to do anything different then lie in bed
Me: I don´t enjoy being in bed alone
Her: I just tidied up the room and got back to bad again, you can join me.
Me: You are not definitely that type of girl who invites unknown guys from internet to her bed
Her: I don´t invite someone to bed, it must come itself. The problem is that before you would come, I would be already from the bed. So this invitation doesn´t count
Me: You would be surprised how fastly can I come
Her: I feel alright, it´s 20 mins from your city
Me: Sometimes, when I want something, I simply take it and it doesn´t matter how far from bed I am
her: Define "sometimes"
Me: What do you want to be defined about it?
Her: If it´s once a year a few times a week
Me: It depends on mood. Sometimes it goes even without violent drag to bed.
Her: Inclination to violence.. maybe I will start to be afraid of you.
me: I am not violent person and I can also be cuddly (I know that this line was bad, but actually I am a little bit violent person, so it was subconscious reaction)

(06-15-2016 09:27 AM)tomzestatlu Wrote:  Never met her, only internet messaging 2nd day. She wants to date, LTR and doesn´t send nude photos exept her potential boyfriend. I don´t want to date her, only bang:

Me: Since morning I went to gym and made some project to school
Her: Let´s be honest, it´s too bad weather to do anything different then lie in bed
Me: I don´t enjoy being in bed alone
Her: I just tidied up the room and got back to bad again, you can join me.
Me: You are not definitely that type of girl who invites unknown guys from internet to her bed
Her: I don´t invite someone to bed, it must come itself. The problem is that before you would come, I would be already from the bed. So this invitation doesn´t count
Me: You would be surprised how fastly can I come
Her: I feel alright, it´s 20 mins from your city
Me: Sometimes, when I want something, I simply take it and it doesn´t matter how far from bed I am
her: Define "sometimes"
Me: What do you want to be defined about it?
Her: If it´s once a year a few times a week
Me: It depends on mood. Sometimes it goes even without violent drag to bed.
Her: Inclination to violence.. maybe I will start to be afraid of you.
me: I am not violent person and I can also be cuddly (I know that this line was bad, but actually I am a little bit violent person, so it was subconscious reaction)

Quick question. Is English your native language?

In this conversation, you came off as desperate and a little bit of a puss.
"I don't enjoy being in bed alone" was very cringy.

Seems like you tried to escalate, but didn't know how to go about doing it. You missed your opportunity to escalate when you responded to her "come join me" text with "You are not definitely that type of girl who invites unknown guys from internet to her bed."

The above would have been a great time to tease or be funny. What you want is to build sexual tension.

Your frame plays a big role in the way you text. It needs to fit your personality or else it comes off goofy.

Girl from outer social circle I approached a year ago when my leg was broken. Gave a silly backwards compliment saying her eyes matched the wheels on my wheelchair. Got her number and texted to make plans and she said she was busy and didn't offer a counter time so I let her go cold.

She just sent a FB request. Could be nothing but I'm thinking of simply saying "Hey, thanks for the add. I'm walking now. Drinks?"

Thoughts?

Beginner question: at what point do you write a girl off as a lost cause, stop texting and move on?

Scenario 1: went on a date for 6 hours with a girl, got her back to outside of her place, passionate kissing, we've both been drinking. I try to invite myself up but she refused. I did everything I could. She offers to go back to my place but I can't because girlfriend is staying there. I was planning to close at her place. We both go home. I text her the next day to see what she is up to and she says she's willing to meet again but has to study for exams for the next couple of weeks and then will go travel for a week.

Scenario 2: went on date, lasted for two hours. It was at a bar and we drank and talked. I made deep eye contact and touched often. Conversation went smooth. No awkward silences. She had to meet a friend later that night so couldn't close. At the end of the date, she offers to meet again. I said I could meet the next day but couldn't meet for the following 3 or so days after because I was busy. She said she may be busy the next day but to text her and she would let me know. I text her to see if she's available. She responds an hour later saying she's busy and that's it. She doesn't say another time she's available.

I think they are both lost causes and I should move on. It would be easier to meet new women. But I wanted other people's opinion.

Therealpoder, this is the way things are these days. Women all have bland attitudes from over stimulation on tinder, facebook, instagram, and all the others. I think both are lost causes especially since you say you can meet new women easily.
Some thoughts for the future. Girl 1, you need to find out logistics long before. You should have figured out the details earlier in the night and wound up at your place instead. Girl 2, I never confirm the next date that night. Don't check your schedule in front of her. Too eager. Tell her you will let her know and then wait a few days.

(06-03-2016 01:20 PM)el mavericko Wrote:  Something tells me my classmate might have been into me but I think I blew it. You guys see any way to recover from here?

Not gonna lie, this was me at 15-16 years old. Puked a bit in me mouth reading that.

Got this girls number in October from daygame, went on date which i think went pretty good. We said to meet again, but before we did i made such a stupid joke sending a picture of minced meat, she's vegetarian.... Was embarrassed, she didnt answer and since i was soon going abroad i didnt bother to try to fix it.

2 days ago i sent again:

Me(9.52pm): Hey whats up?
Her(8.43am): All good and you?
Me(1.06pm): Me too! So what have you been up to, still studying?
Her(9.45pm): yea still same thing, how about you?

That was last night, 16h ago. Feels silly to ask you guys about this simple thing but i know what will happen otherwise... We will continue the most boring conversation and it will end.

(06-30-2016 06:07 AM)Burn Wrote:  Got this girls number in October from daygame, went on date which i think went pretty good. We said to meet again, but before we did i made such a stupid joke sending a picture of minced meat, she's vegetarian.... Was embarrassed, she didnt answer and since i was soon going abroad i didnt bother to try to fix it.

The important thing to ask is: do you know why texting a picture of mincemeat was bad? The answer: "because it offended her" is wrong, or rather not deep enough an answer.

Quote:Me(9.52pm): Hey whats up?

Why did you ask her this?

Quote:Me(1.06pm): Me too! So what have you been up to, still studying?

Why did you ask her this?

You don't need to respond to the above two rhetorical questions. I know why you asked her. You didn't know how else to engage her. I asked to get you to start thinking about the reasons why you say things to women. When you text, each message should have a purpose other than simply to get her to type words back to you; with the exception of perhaps filling space in the middle of a conversation. In general, typing messages with no plan or purpose is worse than doing nothing at all. She knows you are merely trying to engage her to move the relationship forward, and she knows that you are doing in ineptly. This isn't good for attraction.

All of that being said, I'm no expert at text game. I don't have a lot of super-effective lines on hand that will wet panties. I merely transfer what I know of female psychology to texting.

Quote:That was last night, 16h ago. Feels silly to ask you guys about this simple thing but i know what will happen otherwise... We will continue the most boring conversation and it will end.

Never start "the most boring conversation".. It's better to state nothing at all.

A good starting point for text game is non-sequitur game.

A good ending point for text game is direct-game.

The latter is where both you and she know that you want to go anyway. The only obstacles are you having the balls and congruency when engaging in it, and getting her to the point where she is receptive to it. Some girls are receptive off of the bat and, usually depending on you, some are not. This is a more complicated discussion.

Thus I recommend beginning with the former. Stop engaging with "How are you what are you doing" conversations until there is more sexual context on the table (and maybe not even then) and move to non-sequitur game that keeps her both curious and laughing.

(06-16-2016 09:30 AM)Indy Wrote:  Girl from outer social circle I approached a year ago when my leg was broken. Gave a silly backwards compliment saying her eyes matched the wheels on my wheelchair.

Great line.

Quote:She just sent a FB request. Could be nothing but I'm thinking of simply saying "Hey, thanks for the add. I'm walking now. Drinks?"

No, don't say that. Don't say anything. You already got rejected, even if it was for a legit reason that had nothing to do with you or she was playing hard to get. Now you have to make the fish come to you. If you are to have a chance, you can't try to force it in the boat again. Just add her and wait a bit (not too long - maybe a week or so). Then engage her with non-sequiter / aloof game game. The mild disinterest and disregard for any particular goal in your communication with her should be intriguing to her. When she re-engages, then try again.

She may engage soon, or she may take a long time. You have to be prepared to wait a long time. If she doesn't engage after you engage her with non-sequitur game, don't keep trying. Wait for her. The waiting works in your favor.

(06-17-2016 05:42 PM)DarianFrey Wrote:  Not gonna lie, this was me at 15-16 years old. Puked a bit in me mouth reading that.

Holy shit. That's fucking hilarious.

And, seemingly accidentally at the time, surprisingly good game except for when you failed to capitalize well; which is understandable considering. Theoretically, you could have easily turned that into something hot. I wouldn't be upset at yourself for that exchange, though I also get being so considering what you lost.

(06-16-2016 12:22 PM)therealpoder Wrote:  Beginner question: at what point do you write a girl off as a lost cause, stop texting and move on?

Scenario 1: went on a date for 6 hours with a girl, got her back to outside of her place, passionate kissing, we've both been drinking. I try to invite myself up but she refused. I did everything I could. She offers to go back to my place but I can't because girlfriend is staying there. I was planning to close at her place. We both go home. I text her the next day to see what she is up to and she says she's willing to meet again but has to study for exams for the next couple of weeks and then will go travel for a week.

My take is that she wants to bang you.

Quote:Scenario 2: went on date, lasted for two hours. It was at a bar and we drank and talked. I made deep eye contact and touched often. Conversation went smooth. No awkward silences. She had to meet a friend later that night so couldn't close. At the end of the date, she offers to meet again. I said I could meet the next day but couldn't meet for the following 3 or so days after because I was busy. She said she may be busy the next day but to text her and she would let me know. I text her to see if she's available. She responds an hour later saying she's busy and that's it. She doesn't say another time she's available.

Hard to tell given the brief internet description (without witnessing her demeanor), but my intuition is that you managed to trigger her 'who can be more aloof and unavailable' game-playing reflex. Many women have power issues and will jump into these patterns easily. As these women tend to be stubborn, the only way out is by leading her to feel like she's won the game.

I'd keep at it, as I also intuit that she may want to bang you. Playing this type of game, if that is what she is doing, means that she likes you. Given her prior offer to meet you again, I see no reason to bail at this point. The trick, now, is to kill her game-playing reflex by avoiding telling her that you are unavailable on any one date anymore. Be ultra-available. Keep offering days to meet with zero outcome dependence on your part. Let her tell you that she is busy. Keep offering until she feels that she has won the "I'm more aloof" game, at which point she'll probably meet with you. Or, she could really have been busy and will meet with you more-or-less immediately as she frees up.

(06-30-2016 06:46 AM)hydrogonian Wrote:  The important thing to ask is: do you know why texting a picture of mincemeat was bad? The answer: "because it offended her" is wrong, or rather not deep enough an answer.

I'm not sure, I'm cringing inside thinking of it though. It's tryhard and weird i know that.

Quote:You don't need to respond to the above two rhetorical questions. I know why you asked her. You didn't know how else to engage her. I asked to get you to start thinking about the reasons why you say things to women. When you text, each message should have a purpose other than simply to get her to type words back to you; with the exception of perhaps filling space in the middle of a conversation. In general, typing messages with no plan or purpose is worse than doing nothing at all. She knows you are merely trying to engage her to move the relationship forward, and she knows that you are doing in ineptly. This isn't good for attraction.

Yes that is correct.

Quote:Never start "the most boring conversation".. It's better to state nothing at all.

Yes, so obvious and still i do it.

Quote:A good starting point for text game is non-sequitur game.

A good ending point for text game is direct-game.

The latter is where both you and she know that you want to go anyway. The only obstacles are you having the balls and congruency when engaging in it, and getting her to the point where she is receptive to it. Some girls are receptive off of the bat and, usually depending on you, some are not. This is a more complicated discussion.

Thus I recommend beginning with the former. Stop engaging with "How are you what are you doing" conversations until there is more sexual context on the table (and maybe not even then) and move to non-sequitur game that keeps her both curious and laughing.

Do i understand correctly when i say that non-sequitur game can mean open with random stuff, for example: "Saw a duck, got me thinking of you" and maybe send a picture of a duck with it and then continue conversation like that and finally go for what i want, which is to meet up, i.e direct game?

Thank you very much, you got me thinking. I will not start boring conversations like that anymore and text with purpose, get her emotions going instead.

Hopefully I can turn this convo with her around, still dont know how to do it but i definitely know what not to do next time.

Quote:

(06-30-2016 07:19 AM)Burn Wrote:  [quote='hydrogonian' pid='1337049' dateline='1467287208']
The important thing to ask is: do you know why texting a picture of mincemeat was bad? The answer: "because it offended her" is wrong, or rather not deep enough an answer.

I'm not sure, I'm cringing inside thinking of it though. It's tryhard and weird i know that.

It's confrontational over something that she's probably defensive and emotional about, which might be okay if it was successful in conveying anything else that worked for attraction. Offending her isn't bad as long as it doesn't seem like you are being hostile just to be hostile. Texting her an image of meat serves no other purpose but to poke her with a stick. Always have an ultimate purpose in what you communicate to her, beyond merely getting in touch (at least until you have slept together).

Quote:Do i understand correctly when i say that non-sequitur game can mean open with random stuff, for example: "Saw a duck, got me thinking of you" and maybe send a picture of a duck with it and then continue conversation like that and finally go for what i want, which is to meet up, i.e direct game?

I like that line; and yes, that's basically it. Google it and keep working on it. No need to send the image of the duck after you told her about the duck, though this point is a quibble. Also, sometimes you can engage in non-sequiter game just by texting pictures. And what you say doesn't always have to relate back to her, but it can. The point is to make her think "WTF"? but in a way that makes her giggle. It communicates that you don't care about communication and relationship outcomes, which is alpha and attractive when used well. That it gives her a feeling that makes her laugh to herself is the sign that you are doing it correctly.

It also works excellently for passing shit tests, for the same reason. It dismisses the shit-test in a manner that conveys that you don't care about it, and it should make her giggle at the same time.

Quote:Thank you very much, you got me thinking. I will not start boring conversations like that anymore and text with purpose, get her emotions going instead.

Hopefully I can turn this convo with her around, still dont know how to do it but i definitely know what not to do next time.

no problem. I think you can salvage it. However, just look at it as practice. Don't be attached to an outcome.

(06-15-2016 09:27 AM)tomzestatlu Wrote:  Never met her, only internet messaging 2nd day. She wants to date, LTR and doesn´t send nude photos exept her potential boyfriend. I don´t want to date her, only bang:

Me: Since morning I went to gym and made some project to school
Her: Let´s be honest, it´s too bad weather to do anything different then lie in bed
Me: I don´t enjoy being in bed alone
Her: I just tidied up the room and got back to bad again, you can join me.
Me: You are not definitely that type of girl who invites unknown guys from internet to her bed
Her: I don´t invite someone to bed, it must come itself. The problem is that before you would come, I would be already from the bed. So this invitation doesn´t count
Me: You would be surprised how fastly can I come
Her: I feel alright, it´s 20 mins from your city
Me: Sometimes, when I want something, I simply take it and it doesn´t matter how far from bed I am
her: Define "sometimes"
Me: What do you want to be defined about it?
Her: If it´s once a year a few times a week
Me: It depends on mood. Sometimes it goes even without violent drag to bed.
Her: Inclination to violence.. maybe I will start to be afraid of you.
me: I am not violent person and I can also be cuddly (I know that this line was bad, but actually I am a little bit violent person, so it was subconscious reaction)

She invited you over to get in bed with in her 2nd text and you didn't oblige - instead you pulled away and teased her. Dumb.

Your next text after her invite should have been: "Address?"

Yo guys

Started using tinder in Brazil.
I am already seeing two girls here, so usually if I don't get a reply I just next girls there.
But I got a match with a legit 10, with the exact same interests as me.

So i texted:

Rubin: Ana!

... no reply for 2 days...

Rubin: omg ur responses are so fast
cant keep up

Ana: fuck man hahahahahahaha
Ana: i got a life

What next?
Usually I never really do this needy shit, but if I see a 10/10 I still get needy sorry haha
She's from rio, so I guess she's used to persistence.
Her style is rather European, typical gringo loving hipster model type.

I just need to move the convo to WhatsApp asap, I've got tons of recordings of me playing guitar/singing that lead to dates 95%

But as long as I'm stuck in the tinder needy douche frame, my chances are low.

^She is leveraging her looks trying to make you chase.

I'd let it go, because she is only on there for attention. Especially if she doesn't ask you any questions about yourself, or she leaves messages for no room for you to respond in a way that flows with the conversation.

My time is valuable to me. I don't waste it on women who are too into themselves to provide you with a dignified response.

LOL. Oh man...


Some quick context:
18 y/o I hooked off SA. Knockers like Dolly Parton. I mean huge. She's a tiny lil thing with huge (real) tits.
Been shaggin for months. Then she asked for gifts and I deflected. I started keeping my distance. I took her to lunch once. I try not to be with her in public.

We've been trying to set up our next meet but I've been busy plus she's not high on my list.

Lately she wants me to meet her roomate "karen." We've been going back and forth I'm not taking her seriously cause I got other chickens roosting.

Fast forward yesterday

Me: I'm in the city meet me.
Her: i want to introduce you to my friend kate. We want to go shopping and have some fun.
Me: where do you live
Her: manhattan you know that.
Me: who's kate.
Her: my roommate and friend I sent you pictures last night. You wanna have a threesome?
Me: I thought that was karen.
Her: that's her nickname. Why you asking.
Her: we're not trying to kill you we just want to have fun and get free things.

^Haha wow. That chick really had the audacity to send you that last text. This would be the point where you put her on radio silence. You are not her ATM.

I know the thought of a threesome sounds wonderful and everything, but don't turn into a dog. Don't be that guy who will perform tricks and do everything for her for a biscuit, as enticing as that biscuit sounds.

After all, she could have an agenda to where she and her roommate want to go out, but need the ATM to finance their fun. The threesome isn't guaranteed, regardless as much as she could confirm it.

The headache scenario could come into play, the period excuse could come after they are ready to go home and after you bought out the bar.

Don't be the doormat, maintain a strong frame, and pretend like the threesome text didn't come into play. You could play the text off like "oh cool, you know a bartender," or "yea, I know a few bars where we can drink on the cheap."

You got this.

I'm not even acknowledging that nonesense.
I will initiate contact one night and invite myself over to their place. Bring a bottle of vodka will be my only expense and that's to loosen up her friend.

Im laughing my ass off though.
On the flip side, maybe I need to work on my frame. She obviously thinks its ok to send that to me

*english is not native lang, so few things might sound weird*

Intro: Met this girl at the club, she was with group of friends but stayed with me whole night (isolated) and makeouts were very passionate

Me: Lets grab a drink tomorrow evening
Her: Maybe
<next day>
Her: This drink won't happen today
Me: Alright then, I'll go with someone else then. Don't "build courage" too long though, because I am going to USA pretty soon
Her: With some other girl, huh :$ (she is refering to the drink) I am couragous enough, I just don't have time
Me: Now you caught me, are you sure you are X (her profession) and not investigator? Alright, text me when you have time and if I'll have time as well we will grab a drink
Her: Yes I know I caught you Yeah, sure

It seems she wasn't satisfied with previous response and is shit testing further. I find her excuse of not having time BS she lives pretty close to me and drink would take 1h max

I was thinking of texting back "I guess you will have to take a risk" or "If you are gonna continue to play with me like that then this will happen yes" and ask her explicitly about her schedule "Tell me the day you are free, I have tight schedule as well and I can't wait with phone in my hands for your text"

My character is very aggresive in person (girls often mention that I am aggresive) and I "dominated" her, so it might work if I call her out on "playing games"

What do you guys think?

Fastlane9, way too much over gaming. If she's too busy, why try to force her to fit you in? If she isn't, then why bother?

(07-01-2016 09:27 PM)toejam Wrote:  Me: I'm in the city meet me.
Her: i want to introduce you to my friend kate. We want to go shopping and have some fun.
Me: where do you live
Her: manhattan you know that.
Me: who's kate.
Her: my roommate and friend I sent you pictures last night. You wanna have a threesome?
Me: I thought that was karen.
Her: that's her nickname. Why you asking.
Her: we're not trying to kill you we just want to have fun and get free things.

Easy - just tell her your down to have threesome fun but you're not buying them anything.

toejam: 3some sounds fun lmk when youre done shopping