Post: #1

I like the concept of having lots of friends, going to parties and getting laid through my social circle. But at what point does it go from convenient to weird?

Let's just say there are 10 guys and 10 girls in your group. Probably old friends from high school. Over time everyone has slept with everyone else either openly in a relationship or quietly on the DL. Nobody discusses it openly in front of the group but everyone secretly knows who fucked who.

Eventually everyone pairs off and gets married. So essentially most of your friends have banged your girlfriend or wife and everyone is supposed to be cool about it.

Me personally ...I don't like having someone have something over my head like that. I think that's what drives me to develope my game and seek companionship outside of my usual circles* of friends.

How do you feel about the social circle dynamic?

Post: #2

It's cool as long as you aren't the ass hat who marries into your social circle.

This question is like asking if fraternities are cool or weird. The problem is that you need well rounded so that when college ends or your social circle gets old you have already invested in yourself enough so that you don't have to get married to keep getting laid.

That's what I think.

Post: #3

I've never gotten laid through social circle. I haven't made any serious attempts, but I can't say I haven't tried at some times either.

The most I've gotten was a few makeouts but that is it.

I've built attraction and have tension with some girls. Maybe in the future something will happen?

For now, I enjoy chasing girls outside any social circle connection.

Post: #4

(10-09-2013 07:46 AM)ralphi Wrote:  It's cool as long as you aren't the ass hat who marries into your social circle.

This question is like asking if fraternities are cool or weird. The problem is that you need well rounded so that when college ends or your social circle gets old you have already invested in yourself enough so that you don't have to get married to keep getting laid.

That's what I think.

Some guys from college are going to marry their 6 year relation college gf. Grave mistake.

As I finished college, my social life took a brutal hit. No more parties, and no more meetin new people. Months passed without a single party or new girl met. Some years passed until I realized I had to do things on my own.

Post: #5

Social circle game makes it difficult to compartmentalize your bangs. Girls talk. Guys talk. People will start with the conventional beta questions: so is it serious? Are you guys getting married? Etc.

I like my privacy. I don't want anyone to know who I'm banging and when.

Post: #6

I think at a certain point it's just natural - you develop something with a person you've gotten to know well from spending a lot of time around them. It can become convenient also, but yeah, it gets weird if it becomes a situation where everyone is swapping within a tight circle. Keep them as friends, but start getting your pussy from outside the circle.

Post: #7

If you're going to run social circle game, the best thing to do is to get a reputation of being a cad. That way none of the girls will expect anything of you. Sometimes a girl will try to lock you down for more than a fling, but she knows (as does everyone else in your circle) that it's an uphill battle. As long as you don't lead women on with the promise of more, people will know what to expect from you.

Look at almost any social circle and you'll probably find one or two dudes who half the girls have had some sort of involvement with. Just be that dude.

Post: #8

I never dated anyone inside my social circle throughout high school and college. People like to talk and talking shit is an addictive habit.

In high school I would always date girls from other high schools and wouldn't introduce them to my friends. I kept this part of my life privately. Same principle in college except no need to diverge to other schools obviously.

I'm 25 now but I ended up fucking two of my high school friends just recently after everyone went their own ways and it was more seclusive.

Post: #9

(10-09-2013 07:38 AM)Parlay44 Wrote:  Let's just say there are 10 guys and 10 girls in your group. Probably old friends from high school. Over time everyone has slept with everyone else either openly in a relationship or quietly on the DL. Nobody discusses it openly in front of the group but everyone secretly knows who fucked who.

How do you feel about the social circle dynamic?

Not to be an ass, but if your social circle is 10 guys and 10 girls, then your social circle game sucks ass. Social circle game entails being the center of at least a few different social circles with a significant number of people in them (I'd say a SMALL social circle is 10 guys 10 girls). This is your social circle, not your closest friends.

The girls you bang may be in one of your social circles but they will just as likely if not more likely be someone you met THROUGH your social circle, meaning that you might hook up, you might date, but ultimately they aren't directly a part of the people you see on a regular basis.

I'm not by any means the most social/well connected guy but I think social circle game is very effective and has many ancillary benefits (affording you opportunities you'd never have otherwise without the variety of people you know).

Post: #10

10 is an arbitrary number. I have many circles. It's only the past few years that I've allowed my many little worlds to collide. I don't really care who meets who anymore. I'm not possessive like that. If you're the common factor in your larger combined circle you kind of become the head of the circle. It carries some weight. It's hard to explain.

Post: #11

(10-09-2013 07:38 AM)Parlay44 Wrote:  Eventually everyone pairs off and gets married. So essentially most of your friends have banged your girlfriend or wife and everyone is supposed to be cool about it.

Perhaps I don't have enough experience with the social circle dynamics, but I've not really run into this. This is another reason it seems like you're talking about what would happen in a fairly limited social circle.

One of the biggest benefits to having great social circle game is that when you meet a new girl completely outside of your social circle, the social circle pretty much reinforces your frame without you needing to do much in the way of gaming.

There's nothing like a cool guy or a hot girl showing up and being genuinely happy to see you while you're with a new girl.

"You just know everyone"
"Wow you have a lot of friends"
"You just give all the girls massages huh?"
"Your friends are really cool"

All said before I got the bang.

One of the absolute hottest girls that just straight up told me she wanted me to take her home was both produced by social circle (my good girl friend brought her around) and gamed by social circle (big event/party that I was a part of and whose many females and males attention towards me sold the new girl without me really doing anything).

Post: #12

(10-09-2013 11:20 AM)AneroidOcean Wrote:  

(10-09-2013 07:38 AM)Parlay44 Wrote:  Let's just say there are 10 guys and 10 girls in your group. Probably old friends from high school. Over time everyone has slept with everyone else either openly in a relationship or quietly on the DL. Nobody discusses it openly in front of the group but everyone secretly knows who fucked who.

How do you feel about the social circle dynamic?

Not to be an ass, but if your social circle is 10 guys and 10 girls, then your social circle game sucks ass. Social circle game entails being the center of at least a few different social circles with a significant number of people in them (I'd say a SMALL social circle is 10 guys 10 girls). This is your social circle, not your closest friends.

The girls you bang may be in one of your social circles but they will just as likely if not more likely be someone you met THROUGH your social circle, meaning that you might hook up, you might date, but ultimately they aren't directly a part of the people you see on a regular basis.

I'm not by any means the most social/well connected guy but I think social circle game is very effective and has many ancillary benefits (affording you opportunities you'd never have otherwise without the variety of people you know).

Yeah exactly. Social circle game is using large groups of different people who are all disconnected to score. People feel more "comfortable" in groups so you already have an in.

But none of my social groups transcend time. They're all in different chapters of my life. High school, college, real life. The groups all come and go.

Ironically, the groups i've left behind are still together. They all seem to be clicked in on facebook and rarely deviate from their groups.

Get out and meet new people. Don't stick around like a How I Met your Mother group. That's weird.

Post: #13

Yeah go out and diversify those bangs inside and outside of that social circle. Always be out in public places where you get to excuse yourself to the bar to mack on random tail.

I've been the benefactor of social circle bangs though there were times where I've lost bangs because I just cared too damn much about what others may have thought unfortunately.

Post: #14

You don't have to be cemented to one social circle since forever.

Say if you arrive in a new place, you can meet one or two people who you resonate with and actually want to be friends with, who are actually social and interesting people. Sometimes they will deliberately bring you the goods, and because they are people on your wavelength and of a quality you appreciate, then the goods are generally going to be to your liking.

Couples are actually pretty good, because she has friends. Solo guys are less good, and it still surprises me sometimes what can happen here, as they have ex's for one thing or housemates or various females they are beta orbiting who are not really that interested in them. Often you'll just gravitate toward one mixed group or another through these individual guys. Female friends are the best and will again, at times, depending on your relationship, make an effort to hook you up with her friends. It is not like you need to be a demanding chump about it.

Social circle is very good because you can filter out the riff raff and get quality you will often not easily just find lying around at a bar. And then there comes access to house parties and events you didn't know about, again that just doesn't happen "on tap" and these things can take time, but they can also happen right away. You might have other "visitors" come into that social circle as well. These circles do not have to be so closed, they connect with other circles. If you meet the right person, a "connector" (just like yourself perhaps!) you can just surf those connections, and it can keep expanding; as long as you are bringing value and people find your presence and nature desirable to be around. And it is not like white knighting automatically just prevails, if their sexy single friend comes into the scene, and it is clear she likes you, they are often going to be *offended* if you at least present yourself as a potential amor. And if you do nail her, and she talks to her girlfriends, assuming you leave a good impression, this is normally a *good* thing rather than a bad thing!

Being friends with people and doing social circle for getting laid doesn't make sense to me, you are going to have to made of patience if you don't authentically enjoy these people you are spending time with here. The people I know who are best at this, are naturally friendly people and connect themselves out over more social circles than most people do i.e. they are connectors themselves and enjoy that process. They are adding value and people want to be around them. They are not just trying to take what they can get from the situation, but are often leading the situation by giving a lot of value into it.

Post: #15

Social circle game in my opinion can be a quite a useful tool for getting notches you've already built rapport and If you go out on a night out and don't pull they're always there at the end of the night.

However I don't think you should rely on it as you could get complacent and not approach. Also of they get clingy or it went bad it could get quite awkward and pollute your social circle, so tread carefully

Post: #16

(10-09-2013 07:38 AM)Parlay44 Wrote:  I like the concept of having lots of friends, going to parties and getting laid through my social circle. But at what point does it go from convenient to weird?

Let's just say there are 10 guys and 10 girls in your group. Probably old friends from high school. Over time everyone has slept with everyone else either openly in a relationship or quietly on the DL. Nobody discusses it openly in front of the group but everyone secretly knows who fucked who.

Eventually everyone pairs off and gets married. So essentially most of your friends have banged your girlfriend or wife and everyone is supposed to be cool about it.

Me personally ...I don't like having someone have something over my head like that. I think that's what drives me to develope my game and seek companionship outside of my usual circles* of friends.

How do you feel about the social circle dynamic?

One reason to develop game is so that you can quench your raw sexual desires without polluting your social life.

It's like Clark Kent- you can have an alter ego when you are out by yourself and not worry about social repercussions. Same thing as posting on RVF.. most people who post here would probably get fired from their jobs if their bosses found out what they were posting.

Post: #17

(10-09-2013 10:28 AM)Menace Wrote:  Social circle game makes it difficult to compartmentalize your bangs.

Multiple social circles. For example, one group who is into hobby X, another group who likes to party, another who doesn't like to party, etc.

Post: #18

(10-09-2013 07:38 AM)Parlay44 Wrote:  How do you feel about the social circle dynamic?

I know exactly how you feel.

There's a bigger red pill lesson lurking in the background imo, but I see social circle as the province of women. They love them. They nurture them. They protect them.

In terms of bedding chicks, the social circle
- presents options
- vets options
- provides punishment if she doesn't get her wishes

And speaking of punishment...

Have you ever been cast out of a social network?

I have. (3 times actually)

It's probably not until today, until right now @ 3:32 Central Standard Time, that I really thought about it in red pill terms.

Rewind to the early 90's.
Broughams in flat tops, Z Cavaricci's, polka dot shirts,
Hip Hop was in its golden age.

A young non-player WIA is unaware of the game, unaware of the red pill. If I were able to travel back in time and explain it to a young me, the young me would think the old me was CRAZY.

So it's high school, just starting to discover girls. Amongst my group of elementary school class mates, a new chick gets with the clique around middle school, and by high school, she's the center of attention. Call her Darla.

Now the Darla takes a shine to me, and i'm kinda feeling her back.
In the meantime, she also take a shine to another dude, call him Gerald.
It's like Twilight, just with geeky non-supernatural teenagers.

So there's this underlying tension between Me, Darla, and Gerald.

I make an off hand comment to a outlier to the group, let's call him John. John has a crush Darla. Darla is not aware that John exists in any sort of sexual fashion.

I say it's weird that Darla has become the nucleus of our group.

John tells Darla. Darla tells everyone in MY social circle.
And they decide? or she decides to punish me.

No one talks to me for at least a couple of months. They've known her for a few years, they've known me since we were all in short pants.

Eventually things resolve, apologies were made, but that teenage incident always stuck with me.

There are other HS incidents involving Darla. She did end up with Gerald and then abandoned him for Fred an upper classman. She's now a major "lean in" type chick in the corporate world.

To my knowledge, she never got her comeuppance.

That's the power of the social circle. It's why girls tend to be so obsessed with them. They understand the power of gossip, of intrigue, of isolation.

Dudes I used to play soccer with, watch Inspector Gadget with, cats that had been to my birthday parties - suddenly they didn't know me.

I could handle that now as a grown man. As a teenager?

I used to think this sort of behavior, this social circle thing, was aberrant.
Until I got out in the corporate world and started dealing with corporate chicks.

Lots of them only mess with known quantities
- guys they work with
- guys from college/grad school
- guys involved Greek activities (might be a black thing, can't speak for my Euro-brethren)
- guys from church
- guys vouched for by their GF's

In some sense, it takes real skill to break into a chick's life and fuck her, because her natural inclination is to use her social circle, her network to find fuck buddies and husbands.

You hear it when they talk to each other.
"I don't want to date around"
"I'm not trying to get with some random dude"

We see it when we travel. Plenty of hot chicks will have nothing to do with some gringo tourist - not any chick who has some station in her country.

Getting back to your Taye Diggs scenario, where everybody at the wedding has seen everyone else naked.

This is the norm.
And it is weird.
But it's by design.

In some sense, these women are creating tribes.

At the same time, these same women have hypergamous impulses.
Side dick within the tribe is vetted.
Side dick outside of the tribe? Appealing, but has to be under the right circumstances.

That's where we come in.

Your goal as a player is to become a member of many tribes. With worship, with work, with hobbies, with current family and friends. So that you can fuck your cousin's wife's sister and then see her at the cook out.

At the same time, you want out of that incestuous pool.

Yet meeting some strange girl at a bar or club or on the street, then having to impress her network...

"Who's this new guy"
"What's he about?"
"When do we get to meet him"

It almost seems like the world only gives you 3 options
- deal with your own circle
- deal with someone else's circle
- stay out of the whole thing altogether.

I dunno.

But I think the whole thing seems odd. I'll never understand my female counterparts that only want to meet or get with guys that they kinda already know. They're basically saying they want more of the same lackluster lives they've already been living.

It's like working at a job, where you're one of 2 young people (or Asian, or Indian, or Black, or Jewish) - the whole social circle is going to push you to be together. And to go along with the group....

WIA

Post: #19

(10-09-2013 03:51 PM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  It's like working at a job, where you're one of 2 young people (or Asian, or Indian, or Black, or Jewish) - the whole social circle is going to push you to be together. And to go along with the group....

Guys who rely exclusively on social circle seriously limit their options and it's intentional. Girls who rely exclusively on social circle seriously limit their options and it's intentional. It makes absolutely no sense to me, but it is extremely common in some cultures and even within the United States. It's a primary reason why some, or even many, guys who go to Colombia and other countries completely cold have less than stellar results.

Post: #20

WIA illustrates the disadvantages of social circle game-it can take a lot of time and work to break into and build up your social capital within a circle and that capital is so easily destroyed by gossip or someone who has power within the group and just doesn't like you

You're playing in the female court where their style of interpersonal relationships gives them all the advantages.

The biggest benefit from social circle to me is what AneroidOcean pointed out, using them as social proof to a new girl, which is very effective and doesn't require you to get her too involved in the group.

Personally , I play anti-social circle game. I am the guy outside their social circle that they can fuck on the side for fun. I cold approach women in bars who are on vacation and looking for a fling or local women online who are looking for a guy to bang that they haven't met through their work or friends and their friends probably will not even know about.

Last week I had a second date with an online chick. She texted me the day before and said she wanted to go to a particular bar and that her friends were going to be there and was going to "ask me some questions" to see if I was "right for her." I called her and told her that no- that wasn't going to happen and I don't allow myself to be interrogated by strangers. She backed down and apologized and I banged her on the date. I knew that putting myself in that position would have been setting myself up for a cockblock with no real benefit which is often the case with social circles

Post: #21

(10-09-2013 04:18 PM)MrXY Wrote:  Last week I had a second date with an online chick. She texted me the day before and said she wanted to go to a particular bar and that her friends were going to be there and was going to "ask me some questions" to see if I was "right for her." I called her and told her that no-

that wasn't going to happen and I don't allow myself to be interrogated by strangers.

I need this tattooed on my arm or something.
Call it hubris, but based on a few aberrant experiences I keep thinking I can talk myself in and out of anything.

WIA

Post: #22

(10-09-2013 04:15 PM)Merenguero Wrote:  It makes absolutely no sense to me, but it is extremely common in some cultures and even within the United States. It's a primary reason why some, or even many, guys who go to Colombia and other countries completely cold have less than stellar results.

I've seen folks discuss this here before, but it always makes me wonder.

What kind of game do you need to pull a college educated worldly Latin American chica?

Is that different than the game you might rock for a chick that hasn't left her city, hasn't gone to higher ed?

WIA

Post: #23

Man I never seem to make it into social circles with hot girls. I've tried and failed at it man times. You have to have things common like school or music, compounded with some kind of social value like money, to get into these social circles that'll give you good women.

A mix of social isolation and being stuck in places where I just don't fit in has made it tough for me to rack up the kind of notches my male peers seem to get with ease. So this is why I will forever be a student of game.

Post: #24

(10-09-2013 04:30 PM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  

(10-09-2013 04:15 PM)Merenguero Wrote:  It makes absolutely no sense to me, but it is extremely common in some cultures and even within the United States. It's a primary reason why some, or even many, guys who go to Colombia and other countries completely cold have less than stellar results.

I've seen folks discuss this here before, but it always makes me wonder.

What kind of game do you need to pull a college educated worldly Latin American chica?

Is that different than the game you might rock for a chick that hasn't left her city, hasn't gone to higher ed?

WIA

Generally speaking, you meet the higher end girls through social circle. With the other girls, you are more likely to do a cold approach on the street or in the mall and have it lead to something. There are always exceptions. In Mexico, you have tons of volume and girls from all walks of life and anything can really happen, although social circle for the higher end is the norm. What amazes me is that some guys actually have success at online dating. Nothing else (i.e. success with models on a cold approach, success with famous women) surprises me in the least. I tried online dating for a very brief time, had zero success with it, and moved on.

Post: #25

You don't bang girls in your most inner circle (the 10 guys 10 girls example). You game the friends/acquaintances of friends at house parties and socials.

Usually it's a young man's game though, because as you get older, those friends and acquaintances of your friends are also older and partnered up. Older women (taken or not) work hard to ensure no young attractive girl gets in the social circle.

I used to do mostly social circle game, because in my city, people are very cliquey and that's the most effective kind of game when you're young. Now it's no longer a fertile hunting ground like it used to be (my social circle, not one in general) so I'm out daygaming and cold approaching.