Post: #1

Afternoon guys,

I need to vent, this past saturday I had the distinct pleasure of having a weekend free from my girl. I went out and proceeded to destroy my cell phone.

When I got home at around 2:30am, I started stumbling around looking for my torx bit set. I ended up started digging through all of my dressers looking for it. I found something far more interesting, my girlfriend's diary.

Of course I had to open it up however I can't believe I have found myself in this predicament.

We've been dating since the summer of 2011. We had a momentary lapse where I broke up with her and slept around hardcore during college. This was a 3 month stint where she was in my rotation

Anyway, we got back together and everything seemed fine. Around my birthday in July, we had plans to lay the relationship to rest peacefully since circumstance was going to send us to different places.

Well, after reading her diary I found out she slept with my best friend about a week after I moved to NYC. Alright, this is fair we were single.

However, in October I got a phone call from her telling me that she is pregnant. Apparently after all of the nuttiness, she did the math and decided that it was mine since she was "x week" pregnant.

At the time I believed her, I flew her out and had the "procedure" taken care of. We split it 50/50. Afterwards, we proceeded to delve back into a long distance relationship where we would see each other a few times a month. I asked her if she wanted to keep it open so we could slept around. She said no. Fair enough, we still both slept around especially after looking through her diary.

The stickler though for this is the abortion, after reading this and finding out. I'm pretty pissed. I don't believe for one second this was "mine" and I don't believe her.

I literally sat there reading the damn book and had a realization that I had my fears played out. I really fear being cuckolded. It's always been there, but reading RVF and Roissy only made me more aware of it and to be watchful.

This was just too much. She was trying to tell me to "Get over it" and "she'll pay me back for the procedure". To make it worse, I decided to have her be my live in girlfriend in my 1 bedroom apartment so I'm a bit stuck at the moment.

I can afford the place, but a handful of the furniture was bought by her so I'm going to have to pay her for the furniture and stuff. Either way i'm most likely going to give her a month to move out and pay her $1500 for the mattress, sofa, chairs, and other stuff she bought for our place so that way I don't have to change everything up.

I wasn't sure I wanted to post this here, but I saw the other post about the dude who walked in on his own girl getting it on.

Lessons learned:

1. Never turn a ONS FB into a long term relationship.
2. If she cucked some other guy before with my own progeny I should have hit the eject button a long time ago.
3. Never ask a girl to move in with you until an engagement ring is on the finger.
4. Fuck my life, how did I find myself in this mess. It's fucking me up royally.

I look forward to being back on the market.

Post: #2

Look on the bright side man. You dodged the baby bullet. The other things wrong are self-inflicted: long distance relationship? Nope. Don't do it.

You let her move in. Obviously you know it's a mistake. Your mess isn't that bad. No need to overreact either; emotional actions leads to bad decisions. You need to get her to move out. Pay her for the shit that she bought, and move on. In the meantime, maybe you can hate fuck her with 2 condoms on.

Post: #3

(10-03-2013 01:23 PM)frenchie Wrote:  1. Never turn a ONS FB into a long term relationship.
2. If she cucked some other guy before with my own progeny I should have hit the eject button a long time ago.
3. Never ask a girl to move in with you until an engagement ring is on the finger.
4. Fuck my life, how did I find myself in this mess. It's fucking me up royally.

I look forward to being back on the market.

Every man on the planet needs to be told this.

Post: #4

frenchie,

Really sorry about this mess. Glad you dodged the bullet.

As far as #3 goes, I would say don't let her move in until you are married is my theory.

Post: #5

(10-03-2013 02:12 PM)samsamsam Wrote:  frenchie,

Really sorry about this mess. Glad you dodged the bullet.

As far as #3 goes, I would say don't let her move in until you are married is my theory.

Thanks brother.

I called my buddy and I'm going to legitimately ask if he wrapped it or not. She's calling the planned parenthood clinic to prove to me she was 8 weeks in, but i don't think even the medical record is going to sway me on this. Even still, I feel massively sick to my stomach.

Post: #6

(10-03-2013 01:37 PM)Gopher Wrote:  

(10-03-2013 01:23 PM)frenchie Wrote:  1. Never turn a ONS FB into a long term relationship.
2. If she cucked some other guy before with my own progeny I should have hit the eject button a long time ago.
3. Never ask a girl to move in with you until an engagement ring is on the finger.
4. Fuck my life, how did I find myself in this mess. It's fucking me up royally.

I look forward to being back on the market.

Every man on the planet needs to be told this.

I don't understand, isn't this akin to thinking marriage is an escape from sexual market?

Post: #7

That's gotta be a tough one. To echo the others, I'm glad you dodged the bullet. Having been through breaking up with a live-in girlfriend (who was a co-signer on the lease), I'd like to offer the following suggestions:

You've probably already asked your buddy, but what's the point? If you're sick to your stomach now, finding out the truth (which you already seem to know) is only going to make it worse and distract you from the main goal: getting this girl out of your apartment, out of your life.

The getting her out of there bit could be a delicate situation. You'll need all of your state control because, as you can probably imagine, there'll be some drama.

My suggestion would be to not offer cash or let her be there for a month. Perhaps offer to give her the stuff she bought. Then, if she wants compensation, pay her with the stipulation that she has to be out shortly. Set a firm date and make sure she's out of there on that date. I mean, even if you need to get the locks changed, it's worth it.

The longer you two are under the same roof the more chance for nonsense, anger, cops getting called, etc. Any more time spent with this woman is wasted time.

1. State Control.

1a.State Control (State Control).

2. Set a firm date.

3. Eyes on the prize: get her out of there.

I know it blows right now. Still, she's not having the kid. Repeat, she's not having the kid. Try your best not to feel sorry for yourself. You'll be wiser man for this and quite enjoy the freedom of being on your own.

Post: #8

Have her take the shit. When she says she can't move all of it herself, or whatever other bullshit, negotiate a cheap deal. So you get the shit cheap. At this point, you should just be making plans to go forward.

Just get something in writing that you have purchased this stuff. Or make appropriate notes on the check. Don't pay cash unless you have some other agreement to go with it.

It is a business transaction at this point. Remind her of the hassle of moving all the shit, the extra cost, the bad memories, whatever and negotiate her down. You don't owe her the price she paid. Technically, it is used and she has derived some value from it.

Post: #9

Get a copy of the diary entry just in case

It would be wise to do so

Post: #10

Wow, another crap in your cornflakes story. The advice given so far is standard and well advised. Go into legal and business transaction mode until you have an agreement in writing to get her out of your place or get your own, try to save the freaking out for later. I wouldn't rage to much on the girl, you've both been whoring around and sluts are going to slut end of story.

If it were me, I would have some choice words for my "best friend" though. Not that he banged her, but that he did not tell you about it and continued to let you endure you're messed up relationship and 'procedure'. Thats not a friend. His appropriate move should have been "I banged your girl, she's a slut, get rid of her" instead they both hid it from you...he's on her side, not yours.

Post: #11

(10-03-2013 03:34 PM)Valhalla Wrote:  Get a copy of the diary entry just in case

It would be wise to do so

I echo this sentiment. I also am a bit harsher than the rest of these guys.

1. She fucked your best friend a week after you laid the relationship to rest? Both her and your best friend have a little explaining to do. They could've had a modicum of respect for your feelings, despite not being in a relationship.

2. Is she on the lease? Do you have a rental agreement with her? If not, I'd change the locks IMMEDIATELY and call her to let her know that she can arrange a time to come pick up her stuff and you will meet her. If she comes to pick up her stuff including furniture I'd write off the cost of the abortion (it's some chance that it's yours and it's so cheap versus the alternative I'd just let it go as punishment for your mistakes...learn from it). If she considers you buying the furniture from her, make sure you don't pay full retail and that you take out her half of the abortion.

3. Do NOT have her live with you any longer than you absolutely are legally required to.

4. Do NOT be emotional about this. Sure, kicking her out immediately MIGHT seem like an emotional reaction (versus giving her more notice) but she's proven to be untrustworthy and changing the locks so that she no longer lives there is the shortest route to having her done with and minimizing drama

Post: #12

(10-03-2013 02:29 PM)reino341 Wrote:  

(10-03-2013 01:37 PM)Gopher Wrote:  

(10-03-2013 01:23 PM)frenchie Wrote:  3. Never ask a girl to move in with you until an engagement ring is on the finger.

Every man on the planet needs to be told this.

I don't understand, isn't this akin to thinking marriage is an escape from sexual market?

I think the sentiment is more that extracting someone you live with from your life can be on the same order of difficulty as divorce. It might actually become a divorce if you live together for more than a few years depending on your local laws and customs. So there's no reason to move a chick in unless you're prepared to marry her. Nothing to do with locking a chick down.

Post: #13

Situation isn't too bad bro, just get her out of your apt ASAP and throw her some dough if need be.

Also remember guys: ALWAYS be the sole signer on a lease. It gives you the control and upper hand needed.

Post: #14

What you need to do is bottle these emotions up for the time being and start using cold sweet logic.

Take precautions against everything. Take a photo of the important diary entries.

Get her the fuck out of your apartment and do not be alone with her. Always have a friend present. Once she realizes she is out she will forget your JUSTIFIED reactions and try to hurt you. When women are scorned they thing it's ok to fuck you over anyway they can.

Once she's out follow AneroidOceans advice regarding furniture. Calculate how much a moving truck would cost her, how much she would have to pay movers (she's not doing it) how much the furniture is worth USED and then offer her HALF of what that comes to. Then document the agreement and transaction.

This bitch is NOT worth one ounce of sympathy. NO matter how much crying and saying she's sorry she does, TRUST ME, she will be fine and in a month or less be fucking someone else.

Don't think for one moment that this is overboard. It isn't. She's very likely freaking out, feels you violated her privacy (which is going to be her rationalization to fuck you over) and when women are under this kind of hamster spinning and emotional distress, they do CRAZY fucking things.

You have to be very concerned about her initiating and fight with you (domestic violence charges), hitting herself and saying you did it (DV charges). Stalking her etc etc.

Don't fuck around here. You have to act quickly and decisively.

PS - DV charges can happen so quickly and easily your head will spin ANY mark on her (a red mark on her arm) can be enough to arrest you and charge you. If she's cute who do you think the officers are going to arrest (by law most states require an arrest on a DV call). She just has to slap her arm for a red mark to occur and then your ass is in Jail.

Post: #15

As Fisto mention, beware about her trying to start fights....that's if she doesn't outright start lying to other people. Broads will say "my ex used to hit me" or "he raped me"....and when you are their ex, guess what they will start telling other guys?

Post: #16

(10-03-2013 04:18 PM)McQueensPlayboyRules Wrote:  Also remember guys: ALWAYS be the sole signer on a lease. It gives you the control and upper hand needed.

I have to wholeheartedly agree here. Just to be clear, this means when you're having a guy friend live with you too. I had my best friend since 4th grade go nuts with a chick and because he was also on the lease I had to go through a TON of headache and other bullshit. It was surprisingly easy for me to get a lease in my own name with the landlord that allowed me to sublet once he finally left of his own accord. I will never be on a joint lease again. There's no upside for me or anyone really.

(10-03-2013 04:19 PM)Fisto Wrote:  Get her the fuck out of your apartment and do not be alone with her. Always have a friend present.

I forgot to mention that. ALWAYS document everything with a friend present so you have someone to back you up when she tries to pull some shady shit. And she will especially if you DON'T have a witness present.

Good luck.

Post: #17

This may seem extreme, but it might save your ass from staying in jail as well, if God forbid you ever get slapped with a DV arrest, or any arrest actually, but do this:

Pick 1 friend you trust impeccably, or family member and let them know where you keep at least $5,000, preferably $10,000 cash in a safe, safety deposit box or another spot, so you always can use your 1 phone call to bail your ass out asap. Emergency bail fund stash.

Post: #18

I'm here for you McQueen. Tell me where it is.

Post: #19

Use dSploit+Faceniff if you have an android to find out her passwords so you can blackmail her and prevent her from doing anything stupid or at least take her down with you...

Post: #20

@Fisto well played good sir, well played. Lmao.

Post: #21

I don't really see the big deal here it sounds like everyday normal stuff.

Post: #22

The elephant in the room is....

Your 'best' friend fucking her after you left.

Might want to think about that...

Post: #23

Quote:However, in October I got a phone call from her telling me that she is pregnant. Apparently after all of the nuttiness, she did the math and decided that it was mine since she was "x week" pregnant.

Should have dumped her, right then and there.

Post: #24

(10-03-2013 04:41 PM)mental Wrote:  Use dSploit+Faceniff if you have an android to find out her passwords so you can blackmail her and prevent her from doing anything stupid or at least take her down with you...

Yeah...wouldn't recommend this but it is helpful to imagine it in reverse, if your girl did this. Scary. Might as well read my restraining order data sheet for some background on what may lay ahead.

/thread-18067....ning+order

I think another important question is, has she exhibit crazy, unstable, outrageous behavior before? More than just being promiscuous? Is she an angry person? How much does she have to lose?

Post: #25

If she doesnt know about this yet, formulate the plan as per Fisto.

A scorned woman can get ugly, quickly and chances are will not see straight for a week or two.

Not long ago a friend broke up with his live in girlfriend. He cited in his excuses that she was a little nuts. Well....

She went nuts. Smashed a glass of red wine in his face then she locked herself in the bedroom and threatened to jump from the window.

He called the cops and told them what was happening. When they showed up he answered the door and they immediately grabbed him and threw him to the floor saying "who's blood is this! Where is she?" He was yelling that it was red wine and that she was locked in the bedroom. They smashed his face off the ground a couple times. Now there was real blood.

When she came out of the room she must have been hitting herself because she played the victim so well and looked shaken up.

Buddy just froze and didnt say a word until he was under arrest and in the presence of his lawyer. Lawyer made the police apologize and were laughed at by not knowing the difference between red wine and blood.

She ended up admitting everything. Otherwise who knows.