Post: #1

Long time lurker, finally decided to post in here.

My friend posted this crap up on Facebook today. It was written by a guy that just got out of a 16 year marriage, its not all bad, but honestly it should just read "20 Marriage Tips By Walt Disney."

http://www.viralnova.com/20-marriage-tips/

Quote:1) Never stop courting. Never stop dating. NEVER EVER take that woman for granted. When you asked her to marry you, you promised to be that man that would OWN HER HEART and to fiercely protect it. This is the most important and sacred treasure you will ever be entrusted with. SHE CHOSE YOU. Never forget that, and NEVER GET LAZY in your love.

2) PROTECT YOUR OWN HEART. Just as you committed to being the protector of her heart, you must guard your own with the same vigilance. Love yourself fully, love the world openly, but there is a special place in your heart where no one must enter except for your wife. Keep that space always ready to receive her and invite her in, and refuse to let anyone or anything else enter there.

3) FALL IN LOVE OVER and OVER and OVER again. You will constantly change. You’re not the same people you were when you got married, and in five years you will not be the same person you are today. Change will come, and in that you have to re-choose each other everyday. SHE DOESN’T HAVE TO STAY WITH YOU, and if you don’t take care of her heart, she may give that heart to someone else or seal you out completely, and you may never be able to get it back. Always fight to win her love just as you did when you were courting her.

4) ALWAYS SEE THE BEST in her. Focus only on what you love. What you focus on will expand. If you focus on what bugs you, all you will see is reasons to be bugged. If you focus on what you love, you can’t help but be consumed by love. Focus to the point where you can no longer see anything but love, and you know without a doubt that you are the luckiest man on earth to be have this woman as your wife.

5) IT’S NOT YOUR JOB TO CHANGE OR FIX HER… your job is to love her as she is with no expectation of her ever changing. And if she changes, love what she becomes, whether it’s what you wanted or not.

6) TAKE FULL ACCOUNTABILITY for your own emotions: It’s not your wife’s job to make you happy, and she CAN’T make you sad. You are responsible for finding your own happiness, and through that your joy will spill over into your relationship and your love.

7) NEVER BLAME your wife If YOU get frustrated or angry at her, it is only because it is triggering something inside of YOU. They are YOUR emotions, and your responsibility. When you feel those feelings take time to get present and to look within and understand what it is inside of YOU that is asking to be healed. You were attracted to this woman because she was the person best suited to trigger all of your childhood wounds in the most painful way so that you could heal them… when you heal yourself, you will no longer be triggered by her, and you will wonder why you ever were.

Allow your woman to JUST BE. When she’s sad or upset, it’s not your job to fix it, it’s your job to HOLD HER and let her know it’s ok. Let her know that you hear her, and that she’s important and that you are that pillar on which she can always lean. The feminine spirit is about change and emotion and like a storm her emotions will roll in and out, and as you remain strong and unjudging she will trust you and open her soul to you… DON’T RUN-AWAY WHEN SHE’S UPSET. Stand present and strong and let her know you aren’t going anywhere. Listen to what she is really saying behind the words and emotion.

9) BE SILLY… don’t take yourself so damn seriously. Laugh. And make her laugh. Laughter makes everything else easier.

10) FILL HER SOUL EVERYDAY… learn her love languages and the specific ways that she feels important and validated and CHERISHED. Ask her to create a list of 10 THINGS that make her feel loved and memorize those things and make it a priority everyday to make her feel like a queen.

11) BE PRESENT. Give her not only your time, but your focus, your attention and your soul. Do whatever it takes to clear your head so that when you are with her you are fully WITH HER. Treat her as you would your most valuable client. She is.

12) BE WILLING TO TAKE HER SEXUALLY, to carry her away in the power of your masculine presence, to consume her and devour her with your strength, and to penetrate her to the deepest levels of her soul. Let her melt into her feminine softness as she knows she can trust you fully.

13) DON’T BE AN IDIOT…. And don’t be afraid of being one either. You will make mistakes and so will she. Try not to make too big of mistakes, and learn from the ones you do make. You’re not supposed to be perfect, just try to not be too stupid.

14) GIVE HER SPACE… The woman is so good at giving and giving, and sometimes she will need to be reminded to take time to nurture herself. Sometimes she will need to fly from your branches to go and find what feeds her soul, and if you give her that space she will come back with new songs to sing…. (okay, getting a little too poetic here, but you get the point. Tell her to take time for herself, ESPECIALLY after you have kids. She needs that space to renew and get re-centered, and to find herself after she gets lost in serving you, the kids and the world.)

15) BE VULNERABLE… you don’t have to have it all together. Be willing to share your fears and feelings, and quick to acknowledge your mistakes.

16) BE FULLY TRANSPARENT. If you want to have trust you must be willing to share EVERYTHING… Especially those things you don’t want to share. It takes courage to fully love, to fully open your heart and let her in when you don’t know i she will like what she finds… Part of that courage is allowing her to love you completely, your darkness as well as your light. DROP THE MASK… If you feel like you need to wear a mask around her, and show up perfect all the time, you will never experience the full dimension of what love can be.

17) NEVER STOP GROWING TOGETHER… The stagnant pond breeds malaria, the flowing stream is always fresh and cool. Atrophy is the natural process when you stop working a muscle, just as it is if you stop working on your relationship. Find common goals, dreams and visions to work towards.

18) DON’T WORRY ABOUT MONEY. Money is a game, find ways to work together as a team to win it. It never helps when teammates fight. Figure out ways to leverage both persons strength to win.

19) FORGIVE IMMEDIATELY and focus on the future rather than carrying weight from the past. Don’t let your history hold you hostage. Holding onto past mistakes that either you or she makes, is like a heavy anchor to your marriage and will hold you back. FORGIVENESS IS FREEDOM. Cut the anchor loose and always choose love.

20) ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE. ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE. ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE. In the end, this is the only advice you need. If this is the guiding principle through which all your choices is governed, there is nothing that will threaten the happiness of your marriage. Love will always endure.

In the end MARRIAGE isn’t about Happily ever after. It’s about work. And a commitment to grow together and a willingness to continually invest in creating something that can endure eternity. Through that work, the happiness will come.

Marriage is life, and it will bring ups and downs. Embracing all of the cycles and learning to learn from and love each experience will bring the strength and perspective to keep building, one brick at a time.

These are lessons I learned the hard way. These are lessons I learned too late.

But these are lessons I am learning and committed in carrying forward. Truth is, I LOVED being married, and in time, I will get married again, and when I do, I will build it with a foundation that will endure any storm and any amount of time.

If you are reading this and find wisdom in my pain, share it those those young husbands whose hearts are still full of hope, and with those couples you may know who may have forgotten how to love. One of those men may be like I was, and in these hard earned lessons perhaps something will awaken in him and he will learn to be the man his lady has been waiting for.

The woman that told him ‘I do’, and trusted her life with him, has been waiting for this man to step up.

If you are reading this and your marriage isn’t what you want it to be, take 100% responsibility for YOUR PART in marriage, regardless of where your spouse is at, and commit to applying these lessons while there is time.

MEN- THIS IS YOUR CHARGE : Commit to being an EPIC LOVER. There is no greater challenge, and no greater prize. Your woman deserves that from you.

Be the type of husband your wife can’t help but brag about.

Source

Post: #2

Any chance you would be willing to share what led to their divorce? May provide some context on these rules he created.

Also, any info on him as a person?

I agree with a few things. But a lot of it seems a bit soft.

Thanks.

Post: #3

Nothing solid on the guy, just the fact that he was in the marriage for 16 years.

this is the picture.

Post: #4

Not trying to be mean but she looks 10 years older than him, and he looks very young and (once again not trying to be mean) but sort of wimpy. I get the sense she ran the show.

Post: #5

this is garbage from a beta who has never sniffed the red pill.

yeah, sexual dominance is good, but women want (NEED) to be OWNED

he obviously has women on a pedestal, therefore has no credibility in general, and rather, is highly suspect

Post: #6

Why would anyone listen to a beta idiot's "rules" for marriage when the said beta idiot got divorced!

Jeez, people are so fucking blind these days.

Post: #7

6) TAKE FULL ACCOUNTABILITY for your own emotions: It’s not your wife’s job to make you happy, and she CAN’T make you sad. You are responsible for finding your own happiness, and through that your joy will spill over into your relationship and your love.

so exactly WTF is your wife's job if it isnt to make you happy?

Post: #8

I revised the list and came up with my own 20 tips

1. Don't get married
2. Don't get married
3. Don't get married
4. Don't get married
5. Don't get married
6. Don't get married
7. Don't get married
8. Don't get married
9. Don't get married
10. Don't get married
11. Don't get married
12. Don't get married
13. Don't get married
14. Don't get married
15. Don't get married
16. Don't get married
17. Don't get married
18. Don't get married
19. Don't get married
20. Don't get married

Follow these 20 simple rules and I guarantee you will never experience marital strife.

Post: #9

the guy who made this list must have a crooked neck from looking up at all the women he's put on a pedestal with these stupid fucking rules

Post: #10

Terrible fucking advice. Send him my 8 Signs Of A Keeper ROK article, a bottle of vodka and a cigar and tell him to grow a fucking pair of balls.

Those tips represent EVERYTHING wrong with American men and marriage today. Smh.

Post: #11

#10: FILL HER SOUL EVERY DAY

should read:


#10: FILL HER HOLES EVERY DAY

Post: #12

(08-28-2013 05:57 PM)TheBMan Wrote:  6) TAKE FULL ACCOUNTABILITY for your own emotions: It’s not your wife’s job to make you happy, and she CAN’T make you sad. You are responsible for finding your own happiness, and through that your joy will spill over into your relationship and your love.

so exactly WTF is your wife's job if it isnt to make you happy?

Yeah it was #6 and #7 that hammered home the delusion this guy has for me.

Post: #13

1) Always Flirt...see preselection.

2) PROTECT YOUR ASS. Your wife is looking for a leader, don't give her the job of taking up the rear.

3) Realize her hamster has a goldfish memory and you will have to make her fall in love over and over again.

4) ALWAYS SEE THE average in her. Follow the law of averages, women like to be part of the group and normal.

5) IT’S NOT YOUR JOB TO CHANGE OR FIX HER dinner.

6) TAKE FULL ACCOUNTABILITY for you choice to marry an irrational, easily influenced human being that will sell you out with sufficient peer pressure.

7) NEVER BLAME your wife If YOU get frustrated or angry at her (this one is actually good, see shit tests and frame control)

9) BE SILLY… mock her when she is being serious.

10) FILL HER HOLES EVERY DAY (@JimNortonFan)

11) GIVE PRESENTS when you need a distraction or change away from bad news.

12) BE WILLING TO TAKE HER BI-SEXUALLY oriented girlfriend into bed with you.

13) DON’T BE AN IDIOT…. the odds of marital success are stacked against you.

14) GIVE HER SPACE… to wonder what you are doing or why that girl much hotter than her is touching your arm.

15) BE INVULNERABLE… to crying

16) BE FULLY TRANSPARENT....like the invisible man transparent if she files for divorce. You never existed in the USA.

17) NEVER STOP GROWING TOGETHER… Always try to stay one step ahead of each other in a lifelong game of cat and mouse.

18) DON’T WORRY ABOUT MONEY. At least one of you can take up prostitution if times get tough.

19) FORGIVE IMMEDIATELY and move onto actions. Remember, with a woman the words are irrelevant.

20) ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE. ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE. ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE when it comes to your kids. Choose rational behaviour when it comes to your wife.

In the end MARRIAGE isn’t about Happily ever after. It’s about work. Its about busting your balls in a relationship which has no novelty to a woman that needs constant entertainment.

....

MEN- THIS IS YOUR CHARGE : Commit to being an EPIC LOVER. See what I said there "EPIC LOVER" not "EPIC HUSBAND" Don't get married unless you have real religious convictions, a desire to have kids, its for Oprah's fortune or you need citizenship.

Be the type of husband your wife can’t help but listen to.

Post: #14

Yeah, don't worry about money. Genius tip.

Post: #15

(08-28-2013 06:02 PM)teh_skeeze Wrote:  I revised the list and came up with my own 20 tips

1. Don't get married
[etc.]

Well played...

When I saw the title of this thread and how many replies there were, I was gonna get pissed if someone didn't mention this. That's really the only advice about marriage you need.

Post: #16

Hahaha. I'm half drunk, I'm married. And I still think that list of 20 is full of shit.

Oh.. And that advice "don't get married".. Absolutely spot on bro! Take it from me lol