Mr.GoodThread
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Telling new women about your current relationship
I think I'm about to start telling girls that I have a long-term girlfriend/wifey, but that it is complicated, and I'd rather not talk about her while I'm out with you. If she is fine with that, then we can carry on our interaction. If she is not fine with it, I might tell her she can ask me any question she wants for a brief time window, and I will be honest as long as she agrees to not bring it up again for the rest of the night.
Will she start feeling bad and thinking about my girl as I escalate throughout the night? Will working a system like this cause me to have a 20% scoring average at best?
How have you guys found this plays out with American, Japanese, Latina, etc. girls? What can be done to keep them still being as friendly or open to you as they were before you mentioned the wifey? (I pretty much plan on saying it early and getting it out of the way).
Is this one of those situations where if you're really cute/handsome/rich/smooth she'll let it slide? How can I assure her that she is not a horrible person for flirting with a practically married man? Will she care? Have you found this to be better than just lying, because you've been up-front about your relationship, but you're still trying to win their favor?
I know I can just lie from the start, but the truth will eventually come out in one way or another, and although it will cause me to lose out on alot of girls who just won't mess with a taken man, the stress reduction and limited games that will be played has to be considered a plus.
What are possible shit tests they throw at you (I mean, I'll be stern when I say I'd rather not talk about it, but still...). What if they accuse me of wanting to have my cake and eat it too (or however that saying goes)?
How have you guys dealt with these scenarios?
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| 08-22-2013 02:45 PM |
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Laner
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RE: Telling new women about your current relationship
Quote: I know I can just lie from the start, but the truth will eventually come out in one way or another, and although it will cause me to lose out on alot of girls who just won't mess with a taken man, the stress reduction and limited games that will be played has to be considered a plus.
Why is this even coming up in conversation? Do you lead it there?
Most women assume that you are seeing other women/are in a relationship/playing options and they are fine with it. As long as you are.
If you show any sort of sorry, apology, or whatever they will suddenly not be fine with it. Lead the relationship all the way.
If it comes up deal with it then. Chances are it would not be until she is looking to take the relationship to the "next level" and by then she is more likely to want to "kill your woman" than you.
I have never been asked if I have a girlfriend by a woman. I have been asked by girls friends (for purposes of hooking me up with her friends) but never by a woman on a date or whatever.
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| 08-22-2013 05:25 PM |
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The following 6 users Like Laner's post:6 users Like Laner's post
eradicator, Blaster, Vacancier Permanent, Hades, Balkan, Built to Fade
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Mr.GoodThread
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RE: Telling new women about your current relationship
I appreciate the replies. Ima have to research these forums, because I wanna experiment and see if calling woman out on their bullshit in a "You can't trick me, I'm wiser than you" way (without being annoying about it) makes them want you more.
Pyre, I know I'm the loser noob here, but I had to chuckle at your story. I've had girls mention other guys around me, and I LOVE when they do, because then I know it doesn't matter that I got my girl, cause she's got other guys. They just mention the guys though, they don't get explicit. That shit would've been a huge show of disrespect and a turn-off. I hope you got to fuck her SOON after she said that, cause I don't know if I would've wanted to be in her presence much longer. I don't think I would've lost my woody though. Only if I would've actually had feelings or invested emotion in the girl, then would I care about her boasting about another guy.
Furthermore, this is a harsh word to throw around here, but my girl is my fiancee. Why am I thinking about getting married, yet still interested in the player life? Maybe its the thrill. Maybe its cause my wifey isn't that bad? Maybe its just cause I'm insatiable. Anyway, I'm sure like most other guys here who already have significant others, I feel ZERO guilt. I just don't want to get caught (that's where all the social networking and cameras jam people up.). I figured that if I'm not into taking a shitload of photos for all my social networks, I may be considered anti-social and weird and not get any play. If I was up-front w/ the chick as to why I don't want intimate pics, I figured she'd understand, and still give me play for being "real".
Anyway, I'm just rambling now. Perhaps likeacarsalesman's advice is the best.
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| 08-23-2013 08:01 PM |
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The following 1 user Likes Mr.GoodThread's post:1 user Likes Mr.GoodThread's post
likeacarsalesman
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bojangles
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| 09-10-2013 09:12 AM |
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reaper23
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RE: Telling new women about your current relationship
i'm dealing with this right now. i live with mine and have a 9 month old kid with her. plus i got two older kids and an ex wife.
i've found it is a mixed bag.
once upon a time my relationship was "open"
when i'd tell the new girls about this, in full disclosure, about 90% of them are cool with it. they just slot you into fun but not serious mode.
now my relationship is not open.
but i still continue.
and now i just say, its complicated.
girl i met the other night at a party is making out with me and she says can we go somewhere, and i say, sorry its complicated
we still end up banging a few days later in a hotel room
she never even asked me my last name
another girl just accepts my its complicated line. i tell her "i have lots of things competing for my time: women, children, work" and she accepts it. we have hotel sex.
currently gaming a girl now, had text games and then a date today, lunchtime. nothing has come up yet. i'm going to give her the same line and see how it goes.
some girls will ask right away and demand you be specific, those are the ones that have come across this before (they all have) and are not cool with it.
those who don't ask, assume you're entangled somehow. at least in my experience but i'm 37 and high value. they just know that a guy like me isn't free and clear, ever.
its just a part of this particular brand of game.
my views on it are still evolving, i'll come back and reply in this thread as they move along.
i havent tried straight up lying about everything. nor have i tried full disclosure i.e. i'm in a relationship have a kid and i'm cheating with you right now.
we shall see.
i'm definitely curious to see what you guys experience.
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| 09-10-2013 03:29 PM |
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The following 2 users Like reaper23's post:2 users Like reaper23's post
Zampano, Laner
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Laner
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RE: Telling new women about your current relationship
Quote: they just know that a guy like me isn't free and clear, ever.
And this is what makes women hang around longer than they know they should.
I have girls ask me more often "how are you still single" rather than "do you have a girlfriend".
The "its complicated" line works here again. Or, "what makes you think that I am single" also works for me.
Quote:i havent tried straight up lying about everything. nor have i tried full disclosure i.e. i'm in a relationship have a kid and i'm cheating with you right now.
Thats where you want to be. In the middle.
I dont know, you have a small kid with your woman so I imagine that might change things for you somewhat.
Without kids, I feel somewhat immune to anything a woman could do to me. I just do not care. And I am by no means subtle. I run into women all the time that I am sleeping with, when I am with another women.
And I still do not get grilled. One of the great mysteries of my life.
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| 09-10-2013 05:37 PM |
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reaper23
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RE: Telling new women about your current relationship
(09-10-2013 03:38 PM)Zampano Wrote: The words "it's complicated" are pure magic.
they really are. its amazing how few women will press that issue.
instinctively they know its ok to share a high value guy, by asking the question and getting a response, they feel like they've checked the box of asking..
plausible deniability.
its complicated allows them to fill it in with whatever they want
i mean, when i say its complicated in response to can she come over, i could be taking care of my grandma and there is a house nurse or something.
who knows.
I also sometimes just say early on - lets live in LA LA LAND. and then talk up how LA LA LAND is the best place to live and who would ever want to leave LA LA LAND.
so whenever we veer close to tough truths and what not, I just say something about LA LA LAND and we're right back to where we were.
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| 09-10-2013 07:32 PM |
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