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~~ero~~ · 08-16-2013 06:40 PM

So according to the book, going out alone is the best. I tried this last week and I want to share my experience.

First I want to say it is not usual for people to go out alone here, I don't know if it is different elsewhere. People usually go out in groups.

I have to say it didn't go well, I felt uncomfortable because I couldn't find a spot. I finally found some place near the dancefloor and I followed Roosh advice not going from one girl to the other but stand at one place and observe. My eye contact was not going from one place to another( to no lower my value) but I was observing the croud until I finished my beer. Before I could do this, a fat chick was staring at me. I didn't look back. Couple minutes later a guy approached the fat chick and they were talking about me for some reason. I didn't care. Some minutes later the black guy walks over to me and says something in my ear. I don't understand because the music is so loud. At this point I felt uncomfortable and went out the club.

On my way to another bar, a group of descent looking girls on the street turned their necks to look at me and they made a comment "wow, look at that guy" and checking me out from tip to toe. First I thought they were saying this to somebody else. Later I realized I was the only one on the street and I looked back and they were all looking at me. I just walked away, at the end of the street I turned my head again, and they were still looking. Should I walked back and approached them or is it not worth it? These girls probably wouldn't done this if I was not alone.

In short, I felt really uncomfortable going out alone. Where does one stand? What is the plan? I tried to stay at one spot as Roosh advices but this felt so unnatural just standing there with a beer, sipping and looking around. I tried to blend in and showing I have fun but that is kinda hard to do. The music is very hard and it was also very dark.

tylerdurden1993 · 08-16-2013 06:48 PM

top effort for trying to go out alone, I couldn't do it id feel too self conscious,as its not a normal thing to do in the UK either. From the sounds of it you went to a nightclub which would be quite daunting, maybe you could try a quieter bar and/or go to a bar that has a happy hour where it is more normal to go out on your own and it'd be easier to actually have a conversation with someone.

~~ero~~ · 08-16-2013 06:58 PM

(08-16-2013 06:48 PM)tylerdurden1993 Wrote: top effort for trying to go out alone, I couldn't do it id feel too self conscious,as its not a normal thing to do in the UK either. From the sounds of it you went to a nightclub which would be quite daunting, maybe you could try a quieter bar and/or go to a bar that has a happy hour where it is more normal to go out on your own and it'd be easier to actually have a conversation with someone.

You are probably right, but even in quieter bars people are in groups. And because it is quieter it is more painful to be alone. I don't know how the top PUA's pull it off.

scorpion · 08-16-2013 07:29 PM

It definitely takes some getting used to. One of the most important things is getting yourself into a social mood even though you're alone. I believe Roosh said he helps to do this by watching old episodes of Seinfeld before he goes out. Taking a couple of shots before heading out is also not a bad idea. When you hit the bar, you want to be feeling good and talkative. It's important to "break the ice" so to speak by talking to someone as soon as possible after you get there. Anyone. Even if its just the bartender or another random guy at the bar. Or a fat girl. Even the fucking janitor or the bathroom attendant if you have to. Just talk to someone, get the social juices flowing, and don't let yourself fall into the trap of just standing against the wall with your drink for an hour. The longer you go without talking to someone, the easier it will be for your male hamster to rationalize continuing to stand there. Also, remember to smile. Not like an idiot, but don't let yourself look like you're miserable or angry. If you're standing alone for awhile and getting frustrated you might unconsciously start to scowl or frown a little, which makes you look more offputting and actually worsens your mood.

CarCrashKid · 08-16-2013 07:58 PM

I don't think it's normal to go out alone anywhere in the world but by the looks of things it seems ,to me at least, that you didn't feel sociable at all. Or the place didn't suit your vibe.

Change venue or adapt.

I think if you were in a better mood, you would have a) inquired about what the fat girl was saying or b) talked to the group of girls that had already pre-selected you. I think if you had made an effort you could have had them fighting over you.

Rutting Elephant · 08-17-2013 07:07 AM

It might be useful to reflect on what would have been different about these situations if you were not alone. How would you have responded to the dude in the club (can't tell if he was menacing or gunning for an MMF) or the group of girls? If in each case you would be expecting one of your boys to take the initiative, that speaks to your attitude in general, solo or not.

XXL · 08-17-2013 07:32 AM

In clubs it's kid's stuff. It's dark loud and nobody knows who's solo or not. As for chill bars...

= Find cool with a good vibe = The better the venue the easier you feel inside

= Chat up people in your proximity = Whether you're heading bar or ordering a drink chat up people near you. Nobody knows you're solo. Don't stay out of conversation for too long. Chat up the person next to you even it for 30 seconds. You never know where it will take you. Read the vibe. If they don't open up then excuse yourself and leave. If they seem friendly and talkative hang in there.

= Don't show you're alone = Find busier with lots of people and bigger bars where you can blend in the crowd. Nobody knows you're alone unless you show it. You can be waiting for someone, you can be dropping by for a drink on your way to home. Whatever. Its easier in bigger venues

= Find your homebase = Find a group that wants to talk to you and stick to them as long as you all enjoy it. Then go approach other girls on your own. Then come back to them. Just like with actual friends. You shoot the shit with them and leave to chat up a girl on your own.

= Stay social = Solo game is NOT the time to post up alone and look cool with your drink. As you enter the bar, chat up someone near you as you're passing them by. Throw a situational comment. See if they bite. You never know what it will take you.

= Offer value = I think that's the key to it. Don't try to be adopted like a lost child. When you talk to someone add something to their night. Share a story or interesting fact relevant to their conversation or say some funny comment about girls demeanor / attitude / looks / smile / etc to quickly stand out. Give off the vibe you just share something positive without expecting anything, just like you would if you had a flight to some supercool place in the morning, you'd feel at ease just socializing.

in addition:

if you want to make it smooth then try this. get into whatever venue you want alone and sober and pretend you're looking for your friends. you go in, explore the whole venue, look around A LOT, acknowledge glances from girls with smile/waving hand/point finger at them/etc and as you walk by cute girl(s) or pass them by chat them up and make it spontaneous like you stop cause they peaked your interest and you got curious about something about them. then as you chat up one group/girl you can still make eye contact with other girls around and acknowledge their glances with some gesture or smile.

CRUCIAL KEY: as you're doing your round inside you have to make your move FAST and approach immediately ASAP. no lurking or waiting for some perfect moment. none of that. perfect moment is now. if you want to make like it just happened (to not be loner in a dive bar) you have to be ready to throw yourself into a situation in a milisecond. whatever you do the whole point is to make it look like you're on the move but you happen to meet some girls on your way so you stick around for a bit.

example:
you pass by a girl, she gets your attention for 2 seconds, you chat up...
"hey excuse me ladies, do you have sister [to the girl you like]?? you look so similar to blablabla...." or "hey excuse me have you seen a girl here who looked like xyz [describe some bomb ass chick], kind of like you but taller/younger... blablabla?" she's like "whaaat??!!" all sassy/pissed/standoffish/taken aback haha. you go "whoa you got some temper i like it maybe i should stay with you, who are you? blablabla.. so have you seen her? what, you don't like girls? everybody like girls! you would fall in love with her instantly you hear me? INSTANTLY haha". she's getting more emotional cause you talk about other girl and dissing her. all good. talk talk talk. if they ask you who you're with tell them you got invited for a night out [social proof] but your cell phone battery died so you will probably end up having fun on your own etc. when they ask you to have a shot/beer you tell you're on the last day of some weird strict diet challenge. talk talk talk. you still check out others in the venue, you see a girl subtly glancing at you, you smile back to her. talk talk talk. then "excuse me ladies i think i saw someone i know see ya later" and you can walk up to that next girl. if it fails you can go back to that first group.

this way you can check any kind of venue in very short time being sober/solo. IMO the time before first approach is kind of sink or swim thing. there is really no room for procrastination going solo/sober in small venues where drinking with friends is expected.

i experimented with procrastinating on purpose in small dive bars by walking in, loooking around, posting up alone and getting on my phone texting to buy some time, spot cute ladies and assess how to approach them. with every second i was getting more and more inside my head and weird and lame. somehow i didn't project that on girls i finally approached and it went ok. overall, it's not that bad when you'r well groomed and you look good.

Sebastian · 08-17-2013 08:34 AM

What if you were traveling by yourself?
would you say to yourself 'oh it's weird to go out alone, I will just stay at my hotel on sat night'??????

~~Greek kamaki~~ · 08-17-2013 08:54 AM

It depends on the country.In some countries like Poland and all of EE it is easy.In western Europe it is not so easy and in Mediterranean countries it is even worse.Basic is the internal state.Not to be scared by anyone in the periphery stand with your cock out metaphorically.This causes some nuisance to the other guys but is expected.

Valhalla · 08-17-2013 10:21 AM

XXL drops a great post again

bionicman · 08-17-2013 10:38 AM

(08-17-2013 07:32 AM)XXL Wrote: In clubs it's kid's stuff. It's dark loud and nobody knows who's solo or not. As for chill bars...

Great post. I don't have a lot of experience with going out solo myself, but whenever I'm out with other people I tend to wander off and do my own thing and this reads like the type of stuff I do in those situations.

Just talk to random people. When you're being social and talking to just about everyone in your proximity it doesn't feel like you're trying to chat up a girl. Then when you try to talk to one you'd wanna bang and she's giving you the cold shoulder it actually feels like she's just an antisocial cunt instead of you feeling rejected.

~~ero~~ · 08-17-2013 10:51 AM

(08-16-2013 07:29 PM)scorpion Wrote: It definitely takes some getting used to. One of the most important things is getting yourself into a social mood even though you're alone. I believe Roosh said he helps to do this by watching old episodes of Seinfeld before he goes out. Taking a couple of shots before heading out is also not a bad idea. When you hit the bar, you want to be feeling good and talkative. It's important to "break the ice" so to speak by talking to someone as soon as possible after you get there. Anyone. Even if its just the bartender or another random guy at the bar. Or a fat girl. Even the fucking janitor or the bathroom attendant if you have to. Just talk to someone, get the social juices flowing, and don't let yourself fall into the trap of just standing against the wall with your drink for an hour. The longer you go without talking to someone, the easier it will be for your male hamster to rationalize continuing to stand there. Also, remember to smile. Not like an idiot, but don't let yourself look like you're miserable or angry. If you're standing alone for awhile and getting frustrated you might unconsciously start to scowl or frown a little, which makes you look more offputting and actually worsens your mood.

I know I should talk to different kind of people, but then I have to disregard Roosh's advice about staying at one place and opening girls when opportunity appears.

And some other concern I have, let's say I want to open 5 girls. (that is my goal). How can I open a girl for example by asking, "what do you think about this bar?" or what do you think about the music?".. after a while, the conversation will naturally die off sooner or later of course. How can I deal with this without being akward?

~~ero~~ · 08-17-2013 10:56 AM

(08-16-2013 07:58 PM)CarCrashKid Wrote: I don't think it's normal to go out alone anywhere in the world but by the looks of things it seems ,to me at least, that you didn't feel sociable at all. Or the place didn't suit your vibe.

Change venue or adapt.

I think if you were in a better mood, you would have a) inquired about what the fat girl was saying or b) talked to the group of girls that had already pre-selected you. I think if you had made an effort you could have had them fighting over you.

I felt kinda uncomfortable taking on a whole group by myself on my first night out alone. I was kinda aiming for a group of two girls. Actually I had another opportunity. When I was ordering my beer. I noticed two girls on my side. The blonde one was staring at me, I saw it from my eye corner, but she was not aware I saw her, the moment I turned around and looked over. She turns her head. I was not sure she looked at me. So I didn't approach. I think I need to learn to just be socialable and just make regular conversation but I'm afraid I stall.

~~ero~~ · 08-17-2013 11:05 AM

(08-17-2013 07:32 AM)XXL Wrote:
In clubs it's kid's stuff. It's dark loud and nobody knows who's solo or not. As for chill bars...

= Find cool with a good vibe = The better the venue the easier you feel inside

= Chat up people in your proximity = Whether you're heading bar or ordering a drink chat up people near you. Nobody knows you're solo. Don't stay out of conversation for too long. Chat up the person next to you even it for 30 seconds. You never know where it will take you. Read the vibe. If they don't open up then excuse yourself and leave. If they seem friendly and talkative hang in there.

= Don't show you're alone = Find busier with lots of people and bigger bars where you can blend in the crowd. Nobody knows you're alone unless you show it. You can be waiting for someone, you can be dropping by for a drink on your way to home. Whatever. Its easier in bigger venues

= Find your homebase = Find a group that wants to talk to you and stick to them as long as you all enjoy it. Then go approach other girls on your own. Then come back to them. Just like with actual friends. You shoot the shit with them and leave to chat up a girl on your own.

= Stay social = Solo game is NOT the time to post up alone and look cool with your drink. As you enter the bar, chat up someone near you as you're passing them by. Throw a situational comment. See if they bite. You never know what it will take you.

= Offer value = I think that's the key to it. Don't try to be adopted like a lost child. When you talk to someone add something to their night. Share a story or interesting fact relevant to their conversation or say some funny comment about girls demeanor / attitude / looks / smile / etc to quickly stand out. Give off the vibe you just share something positive without expecting anything, just like you would if you had a flight to some supercool place in the morning, you'd feel at ease just socializing.

in addition:

if you want to make it smooth then try this. get into whatever venue you want alone and sober and pretend you're looking for your friends. you go in, explore the whole venue, look around A LOT, acknowledge glances from girls with smile/waving hand/point finger at them/etc and as you walk by cute girl(s) or pass them by chat them up and make it spontaneous like you stop cause they peaked your interest and you got curious about something about them. then as you chat up one group/girl you can still make eye contact with other girls around and acknowledge their glances with some gesture or smile.

CRUCIAL KEY: as you're doing your round inside you have to make your move FAST and approach immediately ASAP. no lurking or waiting for some perfect moment. none of that. perfect moment is now. if you want to make like it just happened (to not be loner in a dive bar) you have to be ready to throw yourself into a situation in a milisecond. whatever you do the whole point is to make it look like you're on the move but you happen to meet some girls on your way so you stick around for a bit.

example:
you pass by a girl, she gets your attention for 2 seconds, you chat up...
"hey excuse me ladies, do you have sister [to the girl you like]?? you look so similar to blablabla...." or "hey excuse me have you seen a girl here who looked like xyz [describe some bomb ass chick], kind of like you but taller/younger... blablabla?" she's like "whaaat??!!" all sassy/pissed/standoffish/taken aback haha. you go "whoa you got some temper i like it maybe i should stay with you, who are you? blablabla.. so have you seen her? what, you don't like girls? everybody like girls! you would fall in love with her instantly you hear me? INSTANTLY haha". she's getting more emotional cause you talk about other girl and dissing her. all good. talk talk talk. if they ask you who you're with tell them you got invited for a night out [social proof] but your cell phone battery died so you will probably end up having fun on your own etc. when they ask you to have a shot/beer you tell you're on the last day of some weird strict diet challenge. talk talk talk. you still check out others in the venue, you see a girl subtly glancing at you, you smile back to her. talk talk talk. then "excuse me ladies i think i saw someone i know see ya later" and you can walk up to that next girl. if it fails you can go back to that first group.

this way you can check any kind of venue in very short time being sober/solo. IMO the time before first approach is kind of sink or swim thing. there is really no room for procrastination going solo/sober in small venues where drinking with friends is expected.

i experimented with procrastinating on purpose in small dive bars by walking in, loooking around, posting up alone and getting on my phone texting to buy some time, spot cute ladies and assess how to approach them. with every second i was getting more and more inside my head and weird and lame. somehow i didn't project that on girls i finally approached and it went ok. overall, it's not that bad when you'r well groomed and you look good.

Hey, that was a great read and awesome advice. I think I was too perfectionistic and too theoretical. I tried to follow Roosh advice of staying at one place and opening girls that walked by but in my case it didn't work out because it was dark and the music very loud. I think, just like you said, one first needs to make a base, wether it be male or female friends. From there you can stay with them or approach females that give you ioi but I really need to brush up my social skills. I can hold a conversation for more than 10 minutes but I tend to ask more questions than talking about myself. This is a mistake I regulary make but since I read daybang I made a lot of progress with using conversation baits.

Nascimento · 08-17-2013 12:01 PM

To give some simple advice, you have to be comfortable in your own skin solo.

Obviously it doesn't look great standing alone with a drink checking out the crowd at a bar.

But if you're comfortable with yourself solo, you're doing a lot better than someone with a lot of friends or in a group that feels uncomfortable/self conscious.

Additionally, clubs are the best places to go solo. As mentioned already, nobody knows who's with who.

cpred · 09-08-2013 07:41 PM

I don't mind going out alone and usually do. Most of my buddies are married or attached so they are not always up for going out. Like stated above, you have to be comfortable and confident in yourself but ultimately you have more freedom than accommodating a group. I just play it casual like I just got off work, was in the area visiting a buddy/client or whatever and just happened to stop in for a drink or something

~~neanderthal~~ · 09-09-2013 02:45 PM

I have been a lone wolf all my gaming career in US.

These are things that has made me successful

1- No one knows me here so no one cares if I am alone.

2- I chat up everyone and anyone. This gets me in the mood to talk to girls naturally.

When you are alone posting up is not good because you are not talking to anyone or moving so girls don't get a feel of your vibe.

Posting up alone is use only in "Good looking guy game"

3- I have stories for days.

At first when interacting with a group or a set of girls, I come in like I am an entertainer. I feel their vibe then try to isolate my target.

When girls see me making other girls laugh, even if I don't create sexual attraction, it helps me open them up.

Going out alone is easy. There is nothing to be afraid of.

If you want a wingman, there are always 1098924 guys at the bar that you can just grab and say "hey that girl over there is staring at you, lets go say hi".

Threaded Mode \| Linear Mode Going out alone - my experience
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